You gave up on our forty more glory years,
  agonized over the decision.
You sent us to separate beds in tears,
  sentenced me to poet prison
    (locked in a spiral cycle
       of pain and broken and fatal fetal and bleeding blue eyes stunned open in vicious surprise
           unable to close or escape into comatose)

My actions
  or actually inactions
may have murdered my Miracle
  made You listen to a false Oracle

**** unable to dim or die
  is You being the only ultimate “Why”
that I was created in the first place
  and put in the exact time & space
    to toss pebbles at Yur window
      that exploded into our nova glow

Even as we cried together
  months after died “together”
(You saying Yur not better without me
   yet can't won't be with me)
I swear on the soul that thinks it knows You
  (far more than the mere heart which beats because of You)
that I still feel You having feelings for me
  (oooohhhhh, You Noe You still want me)

Please let yourself see
  all the positives in me
don't ignore Yur desire
  don't lose it in disaster

we are US
  we are Love & Lust
and every like & lick in between
  (I know You Noe what I mean)

the aliens followed us
  cuz they felt our forever fever
their lights in our Arizona skies
  were listening to the bazillion butterflies
burning churning turning in my soul
  fluttering my libido

they knew what You do....
  that I can't play guitar
  **** I can be Yur star
they wanted to watch me & You
  strobe along to our music
  probe the strong of our magic
    read my SJH poems
    and count all our ****

**** they would never understand
  the simple thrill
  overwhelming joy for this boy
    of holding Shannon's hand :)

You may have been able to give up,
  somehow You had had enough,
**** I believe You didn't want to give up,
  and I should have proved my stuff!!

My Love for You like no other ever before,
  My amazement for You that couldn't be more.
The breathlessness bearing witness
  to the simplest silliest move You might make
The blue-eye-blue-eye-soul-gaze-bliss
  wanting to be waiting on when You wake

You do Noe that Everything You do
  biking hiking cooking thinking walking the insane work world
just excites inspires my soul to say WOOHOO
  and then Kahley & Z-O-E show me You as Mother unfurled
    & hurled into too much to be true

There is not a Disney potion
  which could move my emotions
more than the nervous excitement
  coursing full force thru Clint
when there's just a hint of Shannon!

Do You not Noe that even Yur mundane daily details are moments for which I counted the minutes until we could share?
How do you not Noe that even Yur boring is beyond Rare?

My want that is need
  is so hard for You
    that my heart **** as it bleeds

had every substance and experience
  but never any highs
    like Yur eyes
      or between Yur thighs

You may say only friends forever
  and only see me whenever or whatever
You may be able to forget that we are dismembered
  but for me the regret screams as it sobs as it's remembered

Yet hope shall never breathe its final sigh,
  does not Noe how to bid itself goodbye.
    (it wasn't token lust,
       it shouldn't be broken lost)

are You aware how full We were of Wonderful?
can his caress express what was our experience
  (over and over until forever becums forever)
do his words worship your existence
  (friend lover mother mentor sometimes trembling leaf who Loves me and looks at me into me    
      thanking me for holding her as she squeezes the breath into me)
does he slip serenely yet excitedly into sleep each night with Yur heartbeat echoing his own
  (seemingly the only bass beat his song has ever known)
does he dream of You each and every somewhen,
  wake up wishing he was already with You once again?
is Yur daughter his 2nd favorite person in the world
  (oh Z-O-E i'm soooo sorry you had to cry one single solitary tear from knowing me)

does his mind spend all day scribbling away on the insides of his eyelids everything he thinks about you...

and do You realize it isn't only when i'm awake...there isn't a moment in which my subconscious exists when it isn't walking old town San Diego with You or grinning as Yur fire-spinning or Breaking Bad as it basks in bend Yur **** over bike basket banter or holding Yur hand in an ancient cemetery with wine & cheese & grapes & Breakfast Club surreality or walking whispering a Halloween Haunted House with ridiculously brave Z-O-E

somehow for You it was dating
  just some seven month fling
for me it was the penultimate relationship
  the reason i'd learned this whole breathing feeling thing
and 175 days after You designated the dumpster for me
  it continues to transform me
    because of You i remake me

So, Hey, Hi, Here i am,
  Wanna hear who how i am?
Or do You wanna hear what i remember
  as i wonder what You remember?

How many of our memories mean as much to You as to me?? Hello Ladies on the bed together? or when i watched You shower? me not knowing the secrets to Yur frisbee throwing? our only time camping? creative counter cleaning? the every-single-time-spark of touching Yur skin? the way our ***  stroked squeezed rocked my **** and mind and soul and spirit and poet and left my lips on fire with spearmint-cool tingling? and did i mention being wet with electric sweat?

i seem to remember You saying i was **** (me?!?! - with or without a moustache) even as i was nervous & excited every time i realized You were looking my way, whether it was on a biplane or in a kayak beside an island or wishing i was saving You from a river monster or in a kayak beneath a full moon where You couldn't even notice that my pounding pulse was singing Yur name in a beautiful bass beat

i noe that You know Yur cool, **** i noe that You don't know HOW COOL...the coolest hot whose personality was music that instantly inserted itself into my internal playlist and cranked that ****** to a level that would deafen Spinal Tap!

do You know that You are style & passion
  and buffalo exchange fashion?
alien lights
  indian caves
    & ghost towns with donkeys?

You must realize somewhere deep inside on a primal level
  that once Yur eyes let me see inside You
i would need to be part of Yur life to be alive
  as US is the rainbow which gives color to each day's grey

even before kissing and everything on Our balcony
  in Our Sycamore Springs jacuzzi
You were the kiss I miss any split second my lips aren't melding melting into Yurs

You are dreams and fantasies and way too fantastic to be reality
You are The Happiness Joy that defines Happy for this poet boy

from the moment we met
  You are the 1st thing i think of when i awake
   the last thing in my mind as i slip into sleep
   the lead and supporting role in my subconscious when i'm unconscious
   and actually obviously the highlight to being alive each day

and it shall stay that way even from afar
  until just the other side of forever

there are as many Maybes
  as there are Somedays,
so as i strive not to mope
  (and just keep trying to be better)
i let thrive and nurture hope
  (and just keep trying to be better)

and preach to myself my mantra
and remind me of my motto
  don't give up
  don't ever give up

the voodoo doll I have for You
  I speak to every night
with babble beg plead please
  and then a wish for Yur sweet dreams

the tattoo I have of You
  I stare at every night
with a sentimental smile singing please
  and then a wish for You in sweet dreams

I Love You Shannon Hickman (S.H.)
  Stud Hero (S.H.) Inspiration
I was put on this planet
  to be the being who whispers to you
Let's hold hands as we journey even further
  let's Love where we are
    & then Love the journey however far

I'm supposed to bring You Happy Fun Joy
  I'm supposed to be Yur Happy ***** Poet Boy
I should show You the You of You
  Incredible Wonderful Awesome Amazing True
That's the only possible reason I exist,
  unless you'll kiss me inside a dream mist
    which You share with me
      WHICH YOU SHARE WITH ME

Every time we were together
  didn't You feel the Forever?
Didn't You hear the tremble in my voice
  which mirrored the Miracle of Yur choice?

I grieve **** shall always believe...
Please never grieve!!
  **** Please Believe!!
Shannon,
  Please Believe!!!!

Oh Shannon,
  when You listen to a song whose emotions You feel saying You are amazing & Yur touch is the
  primordial nova, do You ever remember that was My touch and that EVERY SINGLE TOUCH OF
  MY EYES WAS PURE LOVE

Ohhhhhh,
  Shannon,
    how the **** did I not lift You with me onto clouds where WE could watch Z-O-E climb trees as WE
    giggled at our giddiness?!

My words made You want me
  **** you bored of the real me
HOW is that OUR Reality?

Stud Hero (S.H.),
  Clint shall now strive for excellent,
    far better than merely partying
      with some misc poeting

I will be everything I can be of me w/out You
  even though the only thing I'll ever want
is Yur life, mind, voice, curves, caress, kiss
  and the Soul in Yur eyes

**** how shall it ever compare
  to when You were forever there
when I was suddenly infinitely hotter
  and am pretty sure I could breathe underwater

Oh, Once Upon A Time Lover
  Forever Fantasy Dream Lover
******* with You
  or into You
    or Both
was the most Man I've ever been
  the realest my lips & tongue & **** have ever been
**** besides beyond the ******
  was the sensual
    & You made my heart's soul whirlpool
      with even the hint of a touch
        (a whisper from Yur look was almost too much)

Yet You were able to eliminate Yur Love for me,
  while for me it is the only Forever I'll ever be.
One day You could suddenly unsay NEED,
  **** Yur the only breath I'll ever bleed

Dumped Discarded
  thrown tossed away
Broken Sharded
  so easily tossed away

How?
  WOW to OW
How?
  HOW!?!?

Not just someone,
  not just fun,
    The One,
Not some ******* Stupid Movie “Neo”,
  SHE IS THE ONE

**** she decided i'm noone
  i am none

every belief i've ever held is unbelieved
  wrong wrong wrong wrong un-believed
                                         (i'm not me)

now mostly Yur a memory
  that personality which spoke words with that voice which sang sighed from that face, oh, that that
  face, through that mouth, sweet mother of the universe, that mouth, with those lips (ohhhh, so unfair
  to have those lips AND those eyes)
now mostly a memory

**** I do remember,
  I remember Every time we touched
                      Every time we talked
and when the nerves of my body
  forget Yur Lips, Yur Fingertips
    & the sweet squeezes between Yur thighs
I will still feel Yur eyes

You thought I saw inside You
  **** it was really inside You seeing me

Oh S.H.,
  the silly sweet stunned smile in my eyes
    is because of You
and Yur what makes them Blue
  (even blind I would see You)

My only philosophy
  is You should BE with Me
tell me to touch You deep inside
  that that's how You NEED Clint,
    in every possible way that can be meant

Other than that
  i'm just the shadow of a shell
and i don't understand
  how you aren't as well
You said I was awesome
  Yur that & then some

In some ways
  I'll be that way always
and even prove
  I can improve

My moonlight is as ever silver nova bright
My soul is still a sibling sister to the sun
I am as always an ocean
  my hand the waves upon the sand

I've decided to be healthy
  and so I shall be
I've embraced positivity
  so I'm as pleasant as can be

Active athletic
  no longer amateur alcoholic
I push to make me
  the Me knowing You
    made me want to Be
Goals for body & soul
  and the Noe I want you to know

And I'm reaching them
  & teaching me
Although other than that
  i'm just a shallow shadow of a shell

And Always
  And All Ways
S.H., S.H., S.H.
  my every realization
  my only information
    is Yur my Inspiration

Maybe Yur future music muse will Someday as a guitar sing my name

Maybe someday as You ride mtb miles
  or rule the road Hickman style
a song will echo in You our smiles
  for miles & miles & miles & miles
Maybe Yur memory music muse
  shall moan laugh sigh
    as a guitar sings my name

Then as You ride on by,
  will You call my name?

I'll be biking or hiking
  or swimming or gyming
    or running or writing
as I'm hoping & wishing
  & wanting & waiting

i wake every ******* apocalypse morning
  and can't face continuing the mourning
i can't believe Her Love could leave
it is surreal
  & evil

She rescued me from a life
  which was never quite right
and showed me sweet
  rhymes with complete,
gave Her blue to my eyes,
  let me Love the future as forever,
then decided not to believe,
  decided to leave,
placed the dead in my eyes,
  faced me towards starless skies.

(hold me again
  hold me now
    take me to the somewhen
      when we are US somehow)

nothing i've ever said
  has ever mattered.
if it had i wouldn't be dead,
  i would not be gasping with a heart shattered,
    unable to breathe thru the soul shred

with Her
  HER
i never faked
i never lied
i never even would have tried.
She let me love being me
  and i could never be
    anything other than true
      to the TRUE of YOU

She was the mirror on me,
  She showed me the beauty of me,
and i believed what i'd never known before,
  that i could not just swim skim
    but dive deep along the miracle shore

but i missed the cracks,
  ignored the lacks
of two issues i actually knew
  which were the die to our do

my ******* fault we went faulty,
  i didn't **** the wolves at the door
    and ensure our fairy tale forevermore

(take me again
  take me once more
    into every part of You
Yur eyes
Yur heart
Yur thighs
Yur hurt
Yur sighs
Yur spirit
Yur why's
      Yur Forever)

She broke me
  and i know why
She destroyed me
  and i understand why
just not how She could do it
  not how She could **** US
not how She could say **** it
  not how She could give up on US

but i will never wonder why i Love Her
  will never blame Her
    for this forever hurt
for the forever linger
  of my dead heart

(lead me to Yur heart once more
  this time Please Forever
  leave me to horror nevermore
    just hold me Please Forever)

oh Shannon
  not left behind
Please Shannon
  not left behind
remember all You said
  don't leave me for dead
how *** You said i was awesome
  if i was really just no-one
limp **** drunk
  is my legacy
    once Shannon left me

once upon whenever
  i believed we were forever
but She thought different
  & threw away clint

i want to live forever
  if it's with Her
but if alone i'm begging You
  make Yur **** shot quick & true

i will Love forever
  but as US is now never
i can't continue
i CANNOT ******* CONTINUE
PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN
  is all of me which remains

i am not the noe You knew
  so make Yur **** shot quick & true

help....
    please

Was That Love In Yur Eyes I Saw
Or Merely The Reflection Of Mine?
AKA Previous Brokens Were Essentially Only Scratches
aka guess i've given up on my dreams


I met You,
  You were the mostest
    (I met the mostest!!!)
What was I supposed to do
other than Love You?
    forever and then some,
      whatever may come
        (mmm, make You ***)!

I actually believed You Loved me too,
  felt forever future was finally true.
Had i learned nothing from always being me?
  How could You feel a future being with me?
    (Yur future be being with me?)

And as much as i miss Yur kiss
  (where i could happily stay all day),
that's not what i miss most,
  not even close!

Do You know what it is i miss the most?
Do You know what memory i kiss the most?
  GGF?
  BABF?
  The nervous excitement coursing thru Clint
    when time was about to be with You spent?
  Every text, pebble, clown horn, rock n roll ring tone?
  Every time seeing the freeway sign for “our” home?
  Pulling into Yur driveway?
  Walking thru Yur doorway?
  Seeing you?
  (Z-O-E's excited hug
    yeah, i'd do that drug!!!)
  The minutes and/or hours with You?
  Our blue-eyed soul-share-stare?
  Every single second of every miracle minute?
    Yeah, that's it!!!!
      EVERYTHING!!!!

**** here far after the shatter,
none of that will ever again matter.
It's all irrelevant regardless,
  and a lot of useless less.

And despite all the times i re-journey
  the paths & places She showed me,
She ain't there,
  so i'm just nowhere.

Much too much to lose
  how do i choose
    to just play the blues
     & survive this core bruise

Noe mere heart-hurt
  the shriek-leak down my my shirt,
    spirit tears in full-on spurt,
      metaphysical face pushed in the dirt.

Was it so simple sweetie
  to leave me?
Will it be oh so easy
  to forget me?


That 1st night at the fire
(sparks flitting floating flirting higher
   and Yur personality flowed from You)
i was already aching to touch You
  (oh sweet reality
     who hath so often forsaken fooled and ****** me
        please let this be true)

And You knew
  and smiled inside
and were already wondering
  and maybe knowing
    where we were going....

And that nervous spastic excitement,
  that purring calm contentment,
    the breathless rushing rollercoaster,
      making love and then cuddling in nature...
i felt them every single solitary eternal moment!!

(and every time i see You
  or think about You
    that will still always be true)


Did you see her there?
  the ultra rare
    beyond compare
      barely even touched by the air???

My today had never promised more tomorrows
where I would smile and dance
    and nurture Yur joy
And now i've never ****** down such sorrow
  with the bile and lost balance
    of the thrown away toy
Prince of the Fair
  to King of Despair...

You saved me
gave YOU to me
and then left me
  with only me
and lone wolf
  alone wolf
    lonely wolf
      is trapped in rabid agony

You made me think
  let me think
    I had never been worthless
      now i've never been worth less

Listen closely...
  less close to me
    than i've ever been,
      can you say broken....

faded clown
  fallen down
unable to mend??
never to rise again?!

i don't know much of much anymore
  forgot how to care why i'm here for
you could **** me today
  that would be okay
    i'm basically dead anyway

but because of others
i'm not allowed to cross over
**** i HATE life without You
  *** do i do?

guess i'm gonna end up one of those spectres
  the dark abandoned spirits of despair
a glacial stink stain in the ether
  long gone **** unable to move on
locked in yesterday's eternal sorrow
  haunting with hurting forever tomorrow

oh ****
  guess i already am

My mentor
my motivation
my moonlight at high noon
my starlight swoon
my sunlit beach in june
  even if it's a dreary january

the reason my heartbeat wants to breathe
  from the moment it actually got to meet you in the physical world  
  and realized the miracle truth of what it already believed...that all of
  the texts and emails and messages were only false in that they  
  ludicrously understated the absolute of Yur light Yur personality Yur
  energy Yur Blue Eyes ability to express and explain and exude that
  the world is wonderful and it's even immeasurably better with
  You...from that instant when we sat together by the fire and I ached to
touch You and my poetheart promised the universe whatever it  
wanted for the daily renewed memory of kissing You  

my dream
whether asleep or awake
the only fantasy which moves me
the only reality meant for me
my only failure that matters
the only forever that shatters

the reason the word awesome exists
or did I say amazing
or gorgeous
or silly sweet
or perfect
or exciting
or comfort
or Happy
or Hottie
or please kiss me NOW
or please let me please You
or touch me with Yur eyes
or hold me in Yur thighs
or nestle into my cuddle
  as I nestle into your soul
or any and every detail of You
  is why I want awareness
or did I mention that what you consider mundane about Yur life, Yur day
  when shared with You was a meteor shower at play

my muse
my music
  the soundtrack in my mind
  I waited forever to find
my love
my lust
my life
  the only Belief
  I ever actually Believed
  
the reason my heartbeat hopes breathing wasn't just a dream or a cruel memory
  from the moment of thrown away and broken and farther from
  awesome than possible i still exist despite the day-to-day lack of
desire to do so becuz my mind sings even within sorrow with echoes
of the soundtrack for my surreal world, the multi-faceted platinum
album of the funnest person the fullest woman (how can You be
everything?!?!) I've ever met or even seen who somehow inexplicably
LOVED me for a while (really...blue-on-blue-within-blue I saw inside  
Her inside Me)

my best day (she's US with me!)
my worst day (she's done with me)
my nervous excitement every single second since we met
my molten full-spectrum heartbeat (silly and sweet)
my only wish
  one fish
  two fish
  red fish
  blue fish
    my only wish

the only reason I keep breathing today
  becuz maybe there could be a someday

Intro:
Welcome to the new age of spit’n
to change the flavor of mix’n
where MCs are kick’n provocative rhymes
to stretch the imagination of open minds
no need for weapons, blood, and tumbl’n
we’re gonna educate and stimulate rumbl’n

Spit’n Philosophically Aware Rhymes
for the New millennium, that’s SPAR’N
elevating the level of rap’n hip-hop beats
to achieve new heights, to accomplish new feats
to teach the youth a brand new way of feel’n
to preach in the streets a new way of deal’n

Poet’s Verses:**
I’m a warrior for the new age of spit’n
flatlin’n a verse like F’n-stein to do my bid’n
tired of listen’n to the violence and the ****’n
rather kick a message for tolerance to the liv’n
better to be rich in center than material possessions
’cause fear and greed foster the need for man’s weapons

Don’t have a saint, a preacher, or a teacher’s hand
just a person on edge, trying to survive in this here land
to pass along to others the meaning of liquid wisdom
that can’t be learned in some classroom using ‘isms
so listen up my brothas, listen up my sistas
the words ya hear’n gonna blow ya away like twistas

Each of us is composed of molecules, atoms, magnetic forces
revolving around one another, following predefined courses
at this level, ya couldn’t even tell the difference
yet we judging the casing that gives us false appearance
if ya think intelligence is inherited by yur parents
then a child of the slums and ghettos has no merits

Be a product no longer of sins numbered by seven
take back yur destiny and life by search’n the heavens
for in the cradle of His arms, true luv awaits
if yur will’n to give a commitment of faith
pain and suffering may be the unwanted test
but don’t give up, ’cause ya not alone on this quest

Luv is more than just words, feel’n, and thoughts
and goes beyond ***, roses, and diamonds bought
real luv is a state of mind, a state of being
when yur together or when yur off somewhere leaving
like the spiritual reality shared between Eve and Adam
something only a true heart could really fathom

Everyone on this here planet has some mean’n
with the gospel hav’n so many people feen’n
if ya feel’n alone, lost and discouraged
this verse is my way of giv’n ya courage
for at night, I pray to the Lord yur soul to keep
sincere in the wish for no more pain or causes to weep.

You left me
  You dumped me
    You threw me away
      You said forever ends today

But i know it was my fault,
  i'm to blame for my soul assault.
You kissed me and then You killed me,
  but it was all because of me

i failed You as a boyfriend
  and a companion
    and a lover
and it forced You to have to hurt me when You didn't want to and break me and take away my present and my future and annihilate any hope for happiness and destroy the most joy i've ever known and how can i ever forgive me?

And now Yur with some other man
  Yur with another man
and i know it's better for You
  cuz he's better than me

but FUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK
i can't do this
and i know it's pathetically horribly shallow and hypocritical because i really really really want You to be happy but it kills me that it isn't US. and i can't understand how You said all those things to me (some on sweaty sheets or anywhere our clothes could come off, some after a few beers or wandering wineries, some nestling into a cuddle on the couch, some just on a random Wednesday evening) and then threw me away like forever was just a use or freeze by date You had accidentally left too long in the salad drawer. and i can't imagine being with someone else when all i think about all day and night is You! and i'm still so insanely in Love with You and i'm still so nervous & excited for every single interaction and seeing You still tingles me me & makes me Love the universe but the pain & depression is somehow worse every day and my stomach is always clenched in knots which mangle & won't untangle and some immense evil entity is always standing on my chest and crushing my still-screaming heart and the pain which is supposed to just be emotional is a physical palpable tangible pounding being who hates me and is extreme and unrelenting and i hate waking up and realizing that i can't see You or touch You or kiss You or share mundane daily activities which to me were miracles or plan another adventure

i don't know how to heal
  & not because the scars i have to peel,
but because the wounds won't cease their screaming
  & will always always always be bleeding

i just want to beg You to change Yur mind and take me back instead of him and plead with You to believe in me and make You explain why he's better than me and why how You stopped Loving & Wanting me and how i went from awesome to worthless so fast and i know it's so shallow of me not to be happy for Yur happy and thankful grateful worshiping the universe for the too short time You let me feel Yur Love but the only reason i don't describe myself as hollow is that i'm filled with Agony, screaming stabbing slicing shredding and never ending never ******* ending it won't stop it won't stop it won't stop it won't stop it won't stop

every other emotion & relationship
  was just a kid's crush.
SJH is the SHE who is the ONE

and i'm ****** up
  and freaked out
    and terrified to wake up

i hate waking up

FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKK

faded forlorn fractured fragmented
completely de-clinted
traded torn tossed to the trash
  canceled check counterfeit cash

broken yet again
  just another somewhen
except my fault this time
  twas my non-rhyme

how do you go from happier
  to happiest
to burst into the worst

have you ever felt the squeeze that crushes the heart of a star
  been unable to breathe because of the death of all you are
how do you continue when what you knew isn't true
  if love is rendered irrelevant then whatever do you do

scenery never seen
  barely even imagined
suddenly miracled me
  actually ******* happened

but it abandoned me soon thereafter
  never to whisper another chapter
shhhhh don't listen to this
  shut up your only kiss

for 7 months fate was my favorite writer
  destiny my best-friend editor
then suddenly they were evil censors

love unlucked me faster
  than I could even begin to breathe
luck unloved me farther
  than even I could ever believe

my fingertips still feel Yur breast
  my lingering lips tasting Yur heartbeat
I still feel Yur body pressed to my chest
  Yur embrace keeping me safe in my sleep  

now all around me
  nothings surround me
i am the epitome of empty
  cobwebbed memory
    a soul's stifled breath
      destined for dusty death

how do you exist in the happy happy joy joy world outside
  when everything that matters has been crushed inside
how do you explain how everything is worthless
  when you've never been worth less

You must miss me
  must miss the kiss of me
The break had to make You ache
MISTAKE

I can write now what will still be
years after You've forgotten about me

in the myriad of mirrors in my mind
  Yur diamonds shall be the sole soul shine
every bit as real and raw and radiant as the first moment
they raced and rained and raised their reign within clint

reflections refuse to fade
each an inflection of Yur voice
  a forever of Yur face
   a reminder there ain't never been noe choice

every pissant poignant poet
weaving emotion images with their words
all the cunning linguist lyricists
singing lies and lines they think you've never heard
didn't actually feel any ******* thing
knew not one iota beyond nothing
of life
of love
of living in love

pathetic paintless portraits
(tattoos on a corpse)
empty echoes of nothing notes
(dealt by the deaf and the dead)

but I bet it's not their fault
they probably never felt a real fall
a feather float race up the rapids
with the fluffy grace of rabid rabbits

Not so for this man who be me
my feather has done dancin' shakin' in anti-gravity
I have sung sacred songs as angels swum along
our feather mountain biking heaven-strong

Of course our river was an awesome flow
(a hot-tub raft in moonlit snow)
And Our Poems were always best in show guitar glow
cuz I had You to Noe

yet the Mostest WOW was not enough somehow
the Bestest LOVE of this Life is not alive now

here I am again
a millennium worse than i've ever been
fetal black rose petals
dead dull dried
all their thorns' tears cried

no light left in my once bright blue eyes
dead and drowned and dried out
  cried out
  ashen grey
  nothing evermore to say

every time that you came
and every place possible
has never been the same
'cause you're another animal
an entirely different game

at times yu're so wild
other times mildly tame
always a different mood
it's visible in yur frame
or is that how it's viewed

I can tell it 'n yur eyes
before a spoken word
how real you are es nice
not a fantasy that's blurred

still yu're like roll'ng dice
we're a theatre of absurd
me and all yur sides
hardly know'ng all yur worlds
or how they coincide

Sam@110917

I feel bad for women who date online.
There are good men in this world, I swear.
Not every man who walks the earth wastes his breath and your time,
with cro-magnon scribbles from a mind so bare,
that it comes as a surprise they managed even to write one line,
much less something so cerebral as this:
                              "Yo, prety gurl. Liek yur pic,
                                I so >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
                               Wanna see mah ****?"

So deep, right? What Socratic genius might have penned such lines?
Surely not even Shakespeare or Keats could craft words so divine!
I am so sorry, women who date online.
Truly, I'm sorry, on behalf of mankind

heart broken into too many parts
  to collect them all
soul torn into too many holes
  to resurrect it at all

too many pieces of me dissolved in pain's poison
  to identify what remains as clinton
my blue eyes have the blues
  & they are blinded by the bruise
    (brought on by the brews)

at first the depression was only agony. shattered heart. shredded soul. broken being. murdered miracle. ruptured future. burning tears & knotted stomach & raking aching sobs. then my mind ceased being able to be a brain which thinks on any level even remotely resembling its prior ability (broken, synapses stutter). then i lost connection to physical coordination, no balance. no equilibrium. the shaking manic of a panic attack.

now it is an actual physical pain. random body stabs (images of laying on the slab). a  chest constantly pressed upon by an enormous weight as my heart pounds a deep thumping bass pulse in every vein and my misery brain whenever i think of Her, which is a million minutes a day.

i am not the Noe You knew
  not endearing
    not enduring

just a fake facsimile
  shallow shadow of me
unlit by Yur spark
  just a shadow in the dark
                 invisible me

we were hiking on the moon
  making Love among the stars
    in our own orbit of the sun
**** You stopped liking our tune
  un-Loved the US that was ours
    cared not that You are The One
      left me undone as no-one
         (not the Noe You knew)

You can't show & share Yur universe
  let You me my chorus & every verse
then dump me back into merely clinton
  and expect me to ever be Happy again

You can't lead me along the path i never even dreamed of
  and leave me lost in my mind without Yur Love
yet expect me to want to walk barren places
  or ever find any peace for my broken pieces

the butterflies will never die
  (or become bitterflies)
**** She no longer cares
  that they flutter
so now they also cry

i hate every day
  they're all horrible
each moment
  just more torment
it will always be this way
  & never is a long forever

however many years pass
  past the end of US
since Shannon broke clinton
  there was no more noe forevermore

even if the agony
  recedes minimally
there will be no noe tomorrow
  where there's no noe sorrow

the wounds wound farther & further down into the ragged jagged screaming screeching hole (heart + soul = hole) they found fully formed early February of Fourteen. my only craving is Her, but they keep carving deeper, widening the devastation which bleeds depression, wondering how long until the withdrawal into fetal becomes fatal

Happy is merely a memory
  i try to replay every day.
what if the farther from it i get,
  what if i forget?

what if the only hope you have is hope
  and you're believing in it with your entire being
**** you can't lift the loss's weight
  so you can't breathe while you wait

regardless of all this
we can *** home to US
all it takes is You wanting to

and i'll always be here
  hoping & hurting
    wishing & wanting & waiting

things had never been more right
i've never done things more wrong
and everything's nothing now
  (i'm still supposed to shine somehow??)

people keep talking to me
  as if they know me
but its so hard to remember
anything other than these raging embers

some of them seem nice enough
  like they honestly care and stuff
but its too hard to focus on friend
  when i can't make the miracle un-end

love dont die
at least for me
it just screams forever
burning broken ragged ravaged fever

call the clowns
and listen closely now
cuz i'm lost without You
lost without You

see in the dark?
of course i can!
aint got no ******* spark
ain't got nothing man

toss all the pebbles into the stream
  none left for Yur window
**** the clown horn's silent scream
  noone needs to Noe

what the **** was i thinking?
what the **** was i drinking?
can't be true
me without You

i was living the dream! like every other relationship and emotion had been the warm up and i was finally where i really belonged, and i wasn't taking it for granted, I swear!! i was completely aware what a miracle WE were and I was doing everything i could imagine to nurture, to kiss caress laugh smile both of our souls, and instead i killed it

i believed in finally finding FINE
because it was pure and perfect
PURE FACT!!
but it could never have been forever
cuz i am the king of forever is never

another soul fracture
  as pure pours impure
the tender taste of bitter tears
  ****** noose burns taint my beer

once again nothing makes sense
even less so than ever before
  and I can pretend no pretense
    as I am slammed into fornevermore

my heart can't quite beat right
another anxiety attack in sight
no chulahoma to make this right
  just a ****** country version of the blues night

and when there won't be another then
  this **** up is the worstest sin
cuz im the best ive ever been
  but too late for the right when
and Yur gone
  and that will forever go on and on

but shall Yur being funnest fullest friend
  mean we find a way not to end
or will all that remains of You
  be just another tattoo?

My Murdered Miracle


so sometimes it seems a miracle may be murdered
  viciously visceral
with the shock
  and the shattering
  and the mangling of the emotions
    (and of course the inability to breathe as your soul is strangled)
      as your future is ****** over the cliff by an evil **** ******
    (and the fall may even be your fault)

yeah, I noe,
  not exactly a ******* surprise
if you've watched the decades of dying in my eyes
  or read my blog anytime after the age of 10
    (****, was that really the first poisoned when)

whatever whenever of forever later
  the sharpest shock
  the shardest shatter
the dank blank dead stare
  dried blood stains  
    un-resuscitated remains
      of what I used to share

my deep blue eyes
  open as wide as emotion allows
are riptide embraced
  into the motions beyond the shallows
    by Yur deep blue eyes
and I see straight into Yur soul
  instantly the fate of my soul
  (ooohhhhh, what I saw
     I had never even dreamed of seeing
       and You were the infinite microwave thaw
         to my forever frozen being)

**** I took the Doves of Love
  (these birds can't fly)
and with selfish enjoyment of every moment
  lagged in my movement
    towards where we were meant to be
giving them an over the cliff shove
  (why why why why why)

She is SHANNON
  SHANNON!!!
the MOST of the MOSTEST i've ever known
the PERFECT in every part and tone
  and She luved me
         SHE LUVed me!!!

I made her move and groove
  smile and giggle
  *** and then ***
    and then some

I learned and grew
  and she knew
I massaged and inspired
  until my tongue was tired
I held her as close as I could do
  and still have our heartbeats be two

**** i believed too much in my belief
  (beware the ides of grief)
failed to fast forward to what she needed
  and ended up behind what she needed!!!!

i met an angel
  and She wanted me...me
i met my angel
  and SHE Loved me...me

maybe you don't understand the historical universal infinite implications of what to you seems to be a simple detail...the coolest chick in the history of the world glowed in luving me (simply the singular most wonderful woman in strength intelligence hotness beauty empathy honesty silly sweet intensity kindness lust for life and ACTUALLY BEING ALIVE)

and i knew what to do. and it was going to give the me i've wanted to be. yo, i noe, **** i was way too slow.   FFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK

every single solitary second
  felt like the first
    excited nervous giggly jiggly
each kiss such a lip lock on joy
  that i missed the fragile of the real
    left with lonely chapped lips which shant heal



...but maybe a similar distant cousin miracle shall be the 2nd Best feeling ever that keeps him alive...

he met his angel
and even if she won't keep kissing him
he still gets to noe her right?
  Right?

There have been women
who liked me licked me
    hugged me held me
      ****** me ****** me,
gave their time to me,
  saying they loved me

walked with me thru days & nights,
  talked with me about the sounds & sights,
let me move them
let me make them moan
let me hold their hand
as we said we understand

It was wonderful to be me
  whenever they were near
but somehow some whisper within me
  just barely too soft to hear
knew they were just telling me
  what i wanted so desperately to hear

but You convinced me (fooled me?), made me feel the entirety of eternity, actually believe in my far too tender heat & vulnerable soul that i was the One who was hot, inside & out, that i was cool on level after level, that i was cute & ****, that my eyes were truly blue and saw straight deep into You & that i made You know You are beautiful & hot & the Most of Everything & Loved & Needed & Perfect & Gorgeous inside & outside & more amazingly wonderful on each & every level than i could have ever even imagined and i moved Yur heart & mind & soul & made You *** out of control. That i was sweet and made You complete and am giving & kind & interesting exciting & funnest & way beyond worth falling in Love with over & over and i made Yur toes curl & Yur tingles smile and i was Loved and Needed....

Maybe it was all just my imagination
  or a wrongly remembered memory,
but i swear upon everything i have ever held holy
  You held me as close & tight as You possibly could
    and whispered sweetly that You Loved me
      and that it actually happened a lot
        and then suddenly not

these lilttle pretty boy's with there ugly *** hearts
talkin this crap not even one clapp, taahaha :P and there thinkin there slick ,. pshhh
ther'e not even fit nd there lookin like ****, rude ******* madee sick
there words arn't right nd they sound oh so white I'm so down to fight nd show emm whats right like seriously dude I'm a girl nd I'm suren i'd kick assss all they'ed have left is a little ***** classs.
like seriously who tha **** likes an ******* that's stuck the fukk up
excuse me every one my mom just got me these tite *** aeropostale ******* cause i aint got no man junk .
Yeaaa
it's a pain jammed in my *** so Ill just cover it up with bein a big O'l prickk nd sayin I'm better. nd Thinkin i'm bigger .
you're in way but I'm seein yuhr play
that diss you just made just made chu look gay! ;P
like i just said snitch,
Get out nd go figgurrr,
take that crap with ya we don't want yur linger
if ya look backk ***** i'll show you my finger

I am falling more than I wish
But I can't stop and grab simple bliss
Just by the sight of yur smile
And the deepness in your eyes
I fall a little bit more
Every single time
It's like yur pushing me
Further than I want to go
But the funny thing about it is
You don't even know
It's just the sound of your voice
And yur unique laugh
That catches me more than I had planned
It's your aura, or the way about you
That makes me think only about you
It's the way you say my name
And how you show me respect
That gets me not having regrets
It's your love for God
And the strength in your relationship
That makes me want more than a friendship
But that's what we are
And what we will be
Since I can't seem to tell you
Everything about me
So dear to my one sided love
Thank you for never reading this
I will forever miss your kiss
Sincerely, onsidedness

I hate dull poems with no point
That makes no cents at all
I intend to laff it off and
Blame the alcohol.

Yes, Jaegar Bombz and Jello Sots
As far as i can tell,
Are fool fuel to propel my work
George Strait to Poem Hell.

I was gettin’ almost sober, SO
Had another Jaegar, and a beer (or two)
Lean closed to George and whispered in his ear
I’m here for a good time – juss like u

Yeah Iss country singin’ at is best
If u king n rite the kind that sell
But I get;n kinda sleepy
Stink my peom bombses swell.

SO moreally the story, if you right pomes wen yur drnuk
Beddter wate till til the mmornnimg lite
To post it post it post it tooo
That Hallowed Pomes site
LwP$@Qx)911 ^^(

these lilttle pretty boy's with there ugly *** hearts
talkin this crap not even one clapp, taahaha :P and there thinkin there slick ,. pshhh
ther'e not even fit nd there lookin like ****, rude ******* madee sick
there words arn't right nd they sound oh so white I'm so down to fight nd show emm whats right like seriously dude I'm a girl nd I'm suren i'd kick assss all they'ed have left is a little ***** classs.
like seriously who tha **** likes an ******* that's stuck the fukk up
excuse me every one my mom just got me these tite *** aeropostale ******* cause i aint got no man junk .
Yeaaa
it's a pain jammed in my *** so Ill just cover it up with bein a big O'l prickk nd sayin I'm better. nd Thinkin i'm bigger .
you're in way but I'm seein yuhr play
that diss you just made just made chu look gay! ;P
like i just said snitch,
Get out nd go figgurrr,
take that crap with ya we don't want yur linger
if ya look backk ***** i'll show you my finger

Ever had the most rad?
  The holy ghost of glad?

I had seven months of spastically happy,
  miles of miracles more than ever been in me!
I was lifted beyond unknown heights,
  kiss-gifted to upon cloud-shown sights!

**** my sweetest taurus
  tore US
and i was tossed aside
  cast back across cliff-side
on the catapult
  of my-fault

Stranded,
  broken before i landed,
and after,
  all that's left is shatter...

Crying daily,
  well,
    more sobbing uncontrollably,
      spirit crying as it's dying
the essence of yur being
  screaming as it's bleeding...

what is there but weeping and sleeping?

Flowers for the ones you've known,
  the dead given new life grown.
Except it ***** even more than ever before,
  cuz yur heart is being ****** upon Death's shore.

And my present somewhen
  is i shall never shine again.
My rare laughter
  is a terrorist to me,
    a foreigner ex-family.
Anything non-shatter
  is an unwelcome stranger
    nonsense cult danger...

i keep going thru the motions,
  despite nooooooo!!! emotions...
having empty echo conversations,
  exerting energy in wasted creations...

trying to care
why'ing to share
  **** nah
    i got nothing there...
other than a why the **** would i care,
  and a barren sigh soul-struck stare...

Almost all smiles are fake forced and painful,
  ain't that the definition of ******' wonderful?!
**** oh woe is me,
  i s'posed to be oh so happy...
Oh yes sir Cap'n,
  that's gonna ******' happen...

except i ain't got no mend
  and this ain't got no end
other than forever....

You think you're the better writer with
         Your indentations,
Arrogant alliteration,
Games of Rhymation;
When You Capitalize For No Good Reason
OR TYPE IN ALL CAPS;
When you type in italic just because you can;
With thy ineffectual employment of Shakespearean formulation
Or elongated conveyance of your articulation,
                                        When you type in
                                             funny patterns to
                                        better express the  
                                             thoughtfulness and
                                        superiority behind the gemstone
                                                   artist,
And, all- your; meaningful, strategically placed' punctuation!
And perpisfuly mispled wurds bcuz yur so ironic,
And your cryptic title that's meant to come off as genius.
Dylan could crack a skull without a hammer.

There a few things I need to say, and this isn't a poem. its more of a letter or a ***** out. I have seen the crap you post. I don't get u *** u act like u were some innocent victim. Im some horrible lying **** who broke ur heart. ***? Let me say my dear boy that I have loved u from day one and I still do. ur the one whos got this anti -me thing going for no reason *** ur afraid of letting your true feelings be felt and delt with. I may have said a fib or two when we spoke online the first time but at least everythg I said then wasn't a complete lie unlike others...... I don't hold that against you. I don't bring that up to you and talk **** about it. You seem to think that just because I didn't ever say I loved you that I didn't... it was so hard for me not to say it or to try and not feel it *** of her sitting in your bed each nite. that's why I didn't ask you stuff *** I didn't want to seem like I was being all nosey and being all in your business. you didn't ever say so I didn't ask. I figured if you wanted to tell me you would. I didn't want you to think I was trying to know your all of ur personal ****. I tried so hard to not have feelings for u and I thought I did a good job but that too was a joke. I have never felt like I do about u. it ***** that we don't talk like we used to and really ***** that we don't see each other....I miss u so fuckn bad. I still cry over u *** u were my perfext match. you are strong where I am weak and vise versa. Ur really great in the areas I need help in and I can help in the ones ur not in. I still want you to read to me. I still remember the things u said to me the first times we used to talk. the time where I fell in total love with u. I pains me to see some of the stuff u say on there. I didn't mean to not ask things or seem interested in you or act like I didn't want you to come over....I did that *** I wanted to see if u really wanted to come over.. um...all I wanted was to be with u from the beginning and I still do  but I don't think u will *** your trying your hardest to forget me. I guess im  not one to stand out and keep one wanting ......I wish I could erase all ive found out since oct 1st *** it makes it even harder to get over u....I don't want to but its really stupid to keep trying if you have made urself believe that u hate me or convinced yur self u do. I will write more if I remember but I have to go to bed now and I hope u sleep too... It just upsets me that I meant nothing like the others and that uve made urself hate me.....when I cant stop loving u.....this *****.

Marijuanna is great makes it good,
eats your brain tords the end insane.
you dont grow even though you know.
Its hard to spit and, Its hard to quit.
gets you hungry,
eat, puff, chew,
          lets get high and off we flew.
I can do this i Dont care,
I'll be different want to stare?
lets be bold,
when were cold,
we'll just light up
             bought and sold,
who has my back,
        who the **** needs the crack?.
I lack my money thats ***** funny,
                    bought a sack sold yur sisters bunny,
ahhh now I'm out ,
  **** I'll give you a try,
snort, smoke, shoot,

never toot ya the boot...
your hand just took me oh hard so shook me,
so Im hear depended my gear,
I need that lift,
  ya satins gift,
rock and roll,
I'm a beaty troll,
           your things i stole,
                  lost out control
                       You'd have my back?
I really need you,
                I left them all,
family friends put up a wall,
           I am bound now all around I just ask no more a hit.
         Hey you there you got the "$hit"





Hey its true tell me about it!


Jesse   *Mckush

If only You still Loved me
  the sunshine would still sing
    instead of shrilly sting

Our days would be far too sappy,
  making each other far too happy.
Better to **** it to death
  before it could draw another breath.
Why would we want all those years
  helping each other laugh at our fears

If only You had truly Loved me
  then the salvation promising to eternally kiss me
    would not be the damnation forever killing me

Our nights would be shared heartbeats,
  making Love on sweet sweaty sheets.
Best to just strangle that sucker,
  we must mangle that ******.
But what was the miniscule worth
  of sharing this miracle on earth?

If only You had believed in me,
  that I wasn't Joe,
    i was just noe.

Then i could have been good enough,
  could easily have fixed the ****-ups...
And i was soooo ready to too,
  i was excited to push anew
    from that night of February Two

I was supposed to amplify Yur positives,
  help You handle & heal Yur negatives!
**** i failed to remove
  my own scratched grooves...

And then so suddenly i was incapable of breathing,
  i was no longer even remotely being.
Stabbed in the eyes was my soul-seeing,
  thrown away was a Love no longer breathing.

Holy miraculous universe
  suddenly jarred into reverse.
Everything reverts to nothing,
  horrific heart-hurt the only something.

The butterflies born from every single second with You,
  shall forever flutter shudder wounded within my bleeding being...
And i don't noe what they think they want me to do
  or how to convince them to please stop screaming

Sooooo many seeping weeping scars,
  burning novae dead stars.
Just glad it's me who's gone,
  and She can smile on...

Adrenalin is already in play
  even beforeplay
So clip in
  (no, not *******)
grasp the bars you'll grip as you ride
  (not gasp as hard and slip & slide)
and start to pump
  slow at first
    and then faster
(okay, it's not all ******
   but it is all intimately sensual)

Welcome to Wonderful,
  the eternal quadrangle
    of physical/mental/emotional/spiritual
      (which makes love with ego's inellectual)
  where you can taste your health
    as yur in tune with yurself.
  mind drives body
    body alives mind
  it's a complete circle
    a beautiful cycle
      (a bi-cycle lol)

this movement
  this energy
it speaks to me
  both secretly and directly

Somehow effort seriously extreme
  is easier than anything should seem

Smooth & Fast like Dream Flight
  it soothes & excites!

just steady the climbs
  zoom the downs
    & pump the flats
or get stronger
  ride longer
push the legs and lungs along
  speed and speak to any ascent or descent
    until you Noe its song

This was meant to be my forte
  I was made to ride 100 miles a day!
Dude,
  distance disappears in Zen & Grace,
    it's my 2nd favorite place to have my face!

And I actually catch myself wondering what it would be like just  to keep rolling until I saw Canada and stopped to sample some salmon.....

Have you ever gazed up at your goal
  knowing it was just the first of many,
then given in to the siren call's control
  and joyed your away along the journey?

So you know teaching yourself to increase your best?
You know the ******* reaching of the crest?

Then you will Love the mint fire on your nerves
  as you *** alive cruising these curves

maybe there is no truth
  perhaps those were lies in your youth
could be there is no comfort
  mayhap all effort is merely hurt

I don't want to believe that's true
  but the only proof I have for you
is something She gave me that I Love even more than I like
  and now I Noe everything is Better on a Road Bike

the zoom, the move, the smooth
the intimacy of the power transfer
body is bike is body is bike
  check one, two, always the live mike
hills are merely miles
  and homeless heartless boy actually smiles
    (from the inside, not just the surface!!)

the only music is in my head
  are the sounds which surround me
    the hum of the tires on the asphalt
    the whoosh of the wind in my ears
      (and blowing back my hair hahaha lol)

Seriously,
  when I'm cruising my climbing
    along grades my truck hates driving
  or flying floating down descents
    as Joy earned after that ascent
  or inside my mind across miles of miles
    I ACTUALLY HAVE REAL SMILES

and as my legs link to my lungs
  muscles humm oxygen rhythm
I feel the whistle in what was once my soul
  and it feeds the underwhelming wish to be whole

at times the chills spill up & down my spine
  and I Noe there is no end of the line
just the preparation & anticipation
  for the next time.....

BOMBDIGGITY

Marijuanna is great makes it good,
eats your brain tords the end insane.
you dont grow even though you know.
Its hard to spit and, Its hard to quit.
gets you hungry,
eat, puff, chew,
          lets get high and off we flew.
I can do this i Dont care,
I'll be different want to stare?
lets be bold,
when were cold,
we'll just light up
             bought and sold,
who has my back,
        who the **** needs the crack?.
I lack my money thats ***** funny,
                    bought a sack sold yur sisters bunny,
ahhh now I'm out ,
  **** I'll give you a try,
snort, smoke, shoot,

never toot ya the boot...
your hand just took me oh hard so shook me,
so Im hear depended my gear,
I need that lift,
  ya satins gift,
rock and roll,
I'm a beaty troll,
           your things i stole,
                  lost out control
                       You'd have my back?
I really need you,
                I left them all,
family friends put up a wall,
           I am bound now all around I just ask no more a hit.
         Hey you there you got the "$hit"





Hey its true tell me about it!


Jesse   Mckush

You walk down the *****
cobblestone street
there is an old man
that you're going to meet

He has with him a paper
that contains my last wishes
It explains what to do
with my vast wealth and riches

You meander along
confused at this mystery
you see, we haven't spoke
since 2nd grade history

You enter the office
and are offered a chair
the man's tired eyes
give you a rather bored stare

He gets down to business
he hands you a key
and a card with an address
then he asks you to leave

Your curiosity wins
and you see yourself out
next thing you find yourself
in front of a house

This house is old
and decrepit and weary
hell, you'll admit it
it's just a bit scary

Taped up on the door
of this nightmarish lair
Is a note with your name
that just says "Downstairs"

Inside the house
the place looks like a wreck
as you do your best to ignore
the chills down your neck

You go down to the cellar
and you come to a halt
nothing to find
but a large metal vault

You grin with excitement
and you giggle with glee
your hand is shaking
as you put in the key

You swing open the door
and what do you find?
naught but a note
folded three times

You cautiously open it
and read it aloud
It says "Yur a dorkhead"
You furrow your brow

You haven't a clue
You turn the note in your hand
You're about to walk out
when the vault door is slammed

You scream and you shout
But try as you might
No one can hear you
that vault's sealed tight

While you sit in there rotting
just try and remember
who read that note?
Just who was the sender?

Who's the dorkhead now?

If you ever wanted a second chance a second try wanted to fix what was broken i'd do it in a heartbeat i would control myself not to crack and fall apart i'd give a second chance for my heart that still beats every time  your name comes out your looks your smiles your glowing eyes your passion in love everything in you deserves a second chance you showed me the world from a different side . Wouldnt it be the perfect crime if i stole yur heart and you stole mine?!

The domino effect of positive energy sources from your smile like a flowing river in spring
Tilting your head slightly to the side and letting yur spaghetti hair cascade to your shoulders
Soft eyes the color of clouds blanketing the skies of Great Britain filled with empathy and tranquility
A voice dripping with a Brighton accent
Smooth and sweet like pure maple syrup drizzling off a stack of fluffy buttermilk pancakes
Your laughter powerful enough to supply a whole city with energy

My little Goldielocks,
Growing up before our eyes
You were just a shy little fanboy praying to posters on walls
Mayday Parade, Sum 41, and My Chemical Romance creating the Holy Trinity of Punk that you adored so much
Who knew you would be touring cross the world with your little pop punk band,
Opening for your heroes.

Your guitar sheds tales of sleepless nights due to long hours of practice
Tales of channeling blood, sweat and tears to create powerful lyrics
Tales of performances and tou pranks pulled with your four best mates
An anthology of memories that endlessly grows as As It Is explores new worlds
But don't worry
We will always love our kangaro racist ostrich

Oh Benji boy,
A new chapter is being typed up in your autobiography:
The chronicles of Benjamin Biss
You have gained a siamese twin to look after and care for
The pic to your guitar that you carry with you all the time
A shadow to follow and stand with you
The energy card to your Charizard
A wonderful wife to enjoy life with

Bissington,
With love I say this to you
Change that Never Happy, Ever After to a Happily Ever After and remember
Stay posi bro

So this is my fate?
This Rock hard
Silver Slate
Of Metal...
Stick it to my wrist, then shove a little.

Leads me t my thrush holding dream
Take me away to destiny,
Fantasy,
All my blood inside of me

Gushing Out,
Rushing out,
No other ways to get out!

So I depart,
Broken heart, new start.

No more decisions to be decided
No more laws to be abided

Hell, Imma do what I want, and say what I like,
Yah know why ******'? I run this life.

Ain't no one gonna tear me down,
Shoo, listen hear baby, I own this town.
Don't waste yur time trying to flip a frown
This one's solid, like cemented ground

If yah like what yah see
I'll break down to my knees
Begging you to set me free
Emotionally, mentally
Anyway, let go of me!

Burst my brains out, so I know how you feel
Baby, these emotions are too unreal

As I leave your ring
Beside your bed,
Kiss your head,

Light the match,
No lookin' back,

Burn myself to the mother ******* ground,
Ashes, ashes, my body falls down.

baby gurl
u are my world
when i look at yur curls
the stars unfurl.
i want 2 make you my gurl
fur real
the smallest of coffers
carry uncountable coins.

if i write you a poem while i m drunk will you
still love
me in the
morning
would yuo take me
two breakfast or for coffee
wood you kiss me befroe i leave
and miss me while i am gonw
can you look at me liek
i am yur sun and moon and sea
love me becuase i wrote
you a poem while i was
drunk
i am
drunk

Tears roll
  I ain't no stone
tears whose only smile
  is a rock n roll ringtone

If all you wanted was a miracle
  to finally make Yur life full
then just have another beer
and you'll end up here

broken
  again
**** beyond broken this time
  (stare if you dare into within the hole)
all that's whole is your rhyme

(I assume you realize,
  you're somehow aware,
     that the hole unwhole is my soul)

Or maybe mayhap perhaps its my heart
  I done been infused with the confuse
    since the break apart start

lying about not dying
  when all that's true
    is all about You
and crying
and why'ing

cuz we were the miracle
  we were a forever full
forever is a lifetime and then many more
  which tweren't enough for all we had in store

everything the song could sing
  of all we could need or desire
love hope strength fuel for the fire
  that was what disappeared into instant nothing

will it always haunt me??
how can she not want me??
hearse curse
  never worse
hope??
happy??
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Hey even though I  got 'dem Blues
Ya Mama still loves you
Cryin' I have all night long
Missin'  our  little love  song

Only you know how to thaw my Heart
Oh Daddy - Oh Daddy - yur so Smart!
Sing me Baby our Winter Song
That warms us Honey all Night Long.

(c)DLR
06/07/2024
☀♥ƸӜƷ✿♬

yo, all I need is one mic, one dream, one chance
One guy to have my back, when I take my stance  
Only if I had one run, one fight and one lance
one night, I would do right, by anyone that glance
me, puttin on a show,
to show everyone
anything is possible
as long when you chase your dreams
you pursue it like yur unstoppable
these laws of attraction make anything probable
speak it to life, dont settle for comparable
life is about making moves and, plottin ****
moving forward, never quit
ignore the politics
the real recognize real, and
and karma never quits
i’m just too honest to politic
cause if its truth or lies,
its the lies they pick
so i just stick to my lyrics
like flys on ****
stay away from all that gossip
too busy trying to catch up to my potential
so it's essential that I, prepare my mental
and use my mind like a utensil
to sharpen my pencil
to the point of influential

Someone once told me, in life yur always left holding the same amount of cards
I never really thought of life as a game of cards until now,
Its true in all things in life you get dealt a hand and its always the same amount of cards its just
Up to you how you decide to play your hand
You can go all in,
Go out,
Check,
Or draw,
U can trade some or trade them all,
But in the end  you're still left with the same amount of cards....

from ear to eye, what's to be written is to be reheard; it was never about living with other people... it was always about living with yourself - which explains suicide, and the strength to commit to it.

whichever rib it was, she nonetheless  came from
the complete arm - manoeuvre dubbed the
Heimlich bypass - she was born more from
jacking off that the scarce clarification
of the book of genesis - after all, a price of Egypt remains
a prince of Egypt, even  if downtrodden by god -
and still the encompassing  of a courtesan of Judea known
as Isaiah cut in half - imagine watching
your lower body chicken-twitching like from
a decapitation while your former compatriots of strut
encompassed a cannibalistic slurp of your blood
on a stump, no mourning, just the impulse to slurp
up your remains - as with man, the inverse existence
of Narcissus - to be honest man seeks god because
he's found himself imitating the life around him,
he's hounded by imitating animals that he had to invent
a god - Darwinism is just a postscript to this fable
of Narcissus declared prior un-inventing the image
presented, not content with the one given, seeking one
in ape, not content with the one in ape, seeking one
in anything other than the two skeletal forms,
poetically, variations of metaphor.

kān skāl syngj'yur me'g*                                       (egg)
e dāl svang nos leen'ger m'eh                              (linger)                
nor helg-org-helvegen go'h                                 (woad)
orrg dei spóraj tjor, er kalda, sá kalda -             (kiln)

the tatragrammaton and snorkel - or voiced operatic
softening, extending, twilight in York - or simply Dwight -
a name like any other, but less of a fidgety chess piece -
rabbis' riddle could have been -
between a    &    b
                       Y
                                 between   d      &     e
                                                            H
b­etween    h      &      i
                           W
                                                between    m   ­    &      o
                                                         ­                     H              -
leaving      u        only the parabola
of sounds encoded and free adequacy for the posterity of
practising science and the fable of Dr. Faust;
otherwise required H in catching vowels like in baseball ol' -
some form of punctuation of the soul / breath;
if the german schrafes is applicable in English,
then only akin to: claß - claßic - so too in mind a
variant of R and twin -e.g. resuяection - double up;
it's not like the kids cherished the tongue
tugging Shakespeare along, what with texts, acronyms
and :) and genitalia - why should i?