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"vhs" poems
they emerge from the wooded neighborhood ridge and fringe at dusk into breadth of lawn & limb. witchy chicks casting banter n bitchcraft. teenage dead end dreamers tipped in black magick lip gloss & glitter, their genderfluid familiars &/or wayward boyfriends apparate in the street pink cloud spinning wheel, & hawking bile. ****** stella smile. swallow a hex, send a snap, tongue along his neck promising to fold bodies before sunrise. the effervescent gasp of post-ritual clarity. in the house, is a kid. a gig. the devil with a younger grip. & the kid thrills on a bit of the ol’ u l t r a v i o l e n c e. ****** videogames, ****** anime, ****** mayhem n melodic music. he is a conduit of dark energy. a pure blooded offering of the stone age/video age, mind in a kind of kaleidoscopic way. he is me. bred on televised bucket slime ceremonials. she checks her purse. drugs & snacks & juul & a pretty dead bird. a daughter of delphi watching your kid. tending to him. trending him. popcorn smelling him, the texas chainsaw massacre on vhs just before bed. palace of teeth n twigs. just a short walk to the edge and then its bath time. the demon version is grisly and cruel. the angel version is starry-eyed and adventurous. to conjure some thing, at the cliff jumping. it was fun.
0
Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 2:54 AM UTC
babysitters on acid (eat, pray, love, conjure satan)
the dendrites don't know what's right anymore. the tipsy balance is falling off the table, and there's nothing there to stop it. gravity is such a ***** but, so are a lot of things, and i can't seem to grasp onto anything good anymore by standing right in front of the doors that lead to something better. i knew it when i found my body still in the second row of the dark movie theater, crying at the smiling stars on the explosion of a projection screen. i'm pretty sure i was feeling sorry for myself lapping up some kind of enlightenment. i've been too nice for too long, but i've been old since the day i turned eight. that was when i learned about the rough bodies portraying the new style of *** on a vhs, and my eyes stung because i didn't want to watch and it seems to hormone driven boys that it's ingrained in my dna. i have been uncomfortable for ten years now. but not as winded on the day it burned a hole in my solar system, the milky way told me to love the metal hearts and always be kind. i can't do that anymore, there's too much anger in my stomach for my body not to convulse in shame. it was never my fault, but everyone else likes to think so and i've always held it gently so no one else would have to breathe in sawdust and exhale hurt. i always had it covered with my hands lined with fortunes. palms, can you tell what's in store for me now?
0
Mar 27, 2011
Mar 27, 2011 at 6:40 PM UTC
**** in patterns.
THE ALLAN FAMILY STORY YOU SEE MY FAMILY WERE A GOOD CAMPING FAMILY AND WE HAD THIS BIG ORANJE TENT, WHERE THE FAMILY BROUGHT TO CAMPING GROUNDS, TO ENJOY WEEKEND CAMPING, I REMEMBER CAMPING EVERY WHERE AROUND NSW AND THE ACT AND AS A WAY OF EXCAPING THE NORMAL LIVES ME AND MY BROTHER PUT THE TENT UP IN THE BACKYARD AND HAD OUR OWN CAMPING GROUND, AND I HAVE SO MANY GREAT MOMENTS, LIKE NEW YEARS EVE PARTIES WITH LYLE AND YEAH, I WAS LIKE A NORMAL TEENAGER, WITH SLEEPOVERS IN THE TENT AND HAVING AN ESKY OF DRINK AND SAUSAGES AND OTHER THINGS LIKE CHIPS AND I GOT SOME GREAT PHOTOS ME AND LYLE ARE HAVING A GREAT PARTY FOR NEW YEARS EVE, WE CELEBRATED WITH POISON AND DEF LEOPARD AND LYLE BOUGHT AIR SUPPLY, OH MY GODFATHER, I HATE THAT BAND I REMEMBER WHEN ME AND MY BROTHER WENT IN THE TENT, WE WATCHED TV AND WE TALKED FOR HOURS LIKE ME AND LYLE, WE HAD A HEAP OF ****** FUN YA SEE I REMEMBER LYLE SAID HE WASN’T SCARED OF THE OLD BOOGIE WOMAN AND I AM NOT SCARED OF THE OLD BOOGIE WOMAN EITHER AND MY BROTHER LOVED TO JOKE AROUND WITH US YA SEE, LYLE WAS ENJOYING PUTTING THE TENT UP AND WE BOTH HAD OUR STEREOS, AND WE PLAYED GREAT TOP 49 HITS OF THAT ERA YOU SEE, MY DAD WAS A GREAT CAMPER AND BUSHWALKER, AND BUDDHA’S SPIRIT MADE ME INHERIT DAD’S ADVENTURE BLOOD, BECAUSE, OF MY LAST 2 HUMAN LIVES BEING GREAME THORNE, AND PATRICK DUNBAR, BOTH KILLED AT 8 AND BUDDHA MADE ME AN ALLAN, TO KEEP ME SAFE BUT I WAS A KEEN BACKYARD CAMPER, COOKING ON GAS BBQS AND EATING CHIPS, AND HEAPS OF CHOCOLATES, AND ME AND LYLE BOTH WATCHED THE CRICKET ON THE TELEVISION IN THE TENT AND NEW YEARS EVE, WE WATCHED THE GREAT BICENTENNIAL NEW YEARS EVE CONCERT IN 1987, ME AND LYLE HAD FUN DOING THIS AS WELL AS WATCH GREAT MOVIES ON THE VHS RECORDER, BUT THAT ALL ENDED, WE RAGED A BIG PARTY IN THE TENT, WITH MUSIC AND GREAT FOOD I CAN’T REALLY HAVE *** I AM NOT THE *** TYPE, I TALK ABOUT ***** DONORS BUT ONE THING I WAS GOOD AT, WAS TALKING, WITH LYLE, PATRICK MY BROTHER, SCOTT, AND MANY MORE, AND THE BIG ORANGE TENT WAS FINALLY BOUGHT BY A FAMILY I THOUGHT I SAW IT AT THE ABORIGINAL TENT EMBASSY, IT COULD’VE BEEN IT LOOKED LIKE IT, AND IT’S GOOD THAT, IF IT IS, THAT POOR PEOPLE WITHOUT A HOME ARE ENJOYING THIS TENT AS A HOME GREAT ALLAN FAMILY CAMPING OVER
0
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 10:50 PM UTC
THE ALLAN FAMILY TENT, FOR US TO PARTY IN
THE ALLAN FAMILY STORY YOU SEE MY FAMILY WERE A GOOD CAMPING FAMILY AND WE HAD THIS BIG ORANJE TENT, WHERE THE FAMILY BROUGHT TO CAMPING GROUNDS, TO ENJOY WEEKEND CAMPING, I REMEMBER CAMPING EVERY WHERE AROUND NSW AND THE ACT AND AS A WAY OF EXCAPING THE NORMAL LIVES ME AND MY BROTHER PUT THE TENT UP IN THE BACKYARD AND HAD OUR OWN CAMPING GROUND, AND I HAVE SO MANY GREAT MOMENTS, LIKE NEW YEARS EVE PARTIES WITH LYLE AND YEAH, I WAS LIKE A NORMAL TEENAGER, WITH SLEEPOVERS IN THE TENT AND HAVING AN ESKY OF DRINK AND SAUSAGES AND OTHER THINGS LIKE CHIPS AND I GOT SOME GREAT PHOTOS ME AND LYLE ARE HAVING A GREAT PARTY FOR NEW YEARS EVE, WE CELEBRATED WITH POISON AND DEF LEOPARD AND LYLE BOUGHT AIR SUPPLY, OH MY GODFATHER, I HATE THAT BAND I REMEMBER WHEN ME AND MY BROTHER WENT IN THE TENT, WE WATCHED TV AND WE TALKED FOR HOURS LIKE ME AND LYLE, WE HAD A HEAP OF ****** FUN YA SEE I REMEMBER LYLE SAID HE WASN’T SCARED OF THE OLD BOOGIE WOMAN AND I AM NOT SCARED OF THE OLD BOOGIE WOMAN EITHER AND MY BROTHER LOVED TO JOKE AROUND WITH US YA SEE, LYLE WAS ENJOYING PUTTING THE TENT UP AND WE BOTH HAD OUR STEREOS, AND WE PLAYED GREAT TOP 49 HITS OF THAT ERA YOU SEE, MY DAD WAS A GREAT CAMPER AND BUSHWALKER, AND BUDDHA’S SPIRIT MADE ME INHERIT DAD’S ADVENTURE BLOOD, BECAUSE, OF MY LAST 2 HUMAN LIVES BEING GREAME THORNE, AND PATRICK DUNBAR, BOTH KILLED AT 8 AND BUDDHA MADE ME AN ALLAN, TO KEEP ME SAFE BUT I WAS A KEEN BACKYARD CAMPER, COOKING ON GAS BBQS AND EATING CHIPS, AND HEAPS OF CHOCOLATES, AND ME AND LYLE BOTH WATCHED THE CRICKET ON THE TELEVISION IN THE TENT AND NEW YEARS EVE, WE WATCHED THE GREAT BICENTENNIAL NEW YEARS EVE CONCERT IN 1987, ME AND LYLE HAD FUN DOING THIS AS WELL AS WATCH GREAT MOVIES ON THE VHS RECORDER, BUT THAT ALL ENDED, WE RAGED A BIG PARTY IN THE TENT, WITH MUSIC AND GREAT FOOD I CAN’T REALLY HAVE *** I AM NOT THE *** TYPE, I TALK ABOUT ***** DONORS BUT ONE THING I WAS GOOD AT, WAS TALKING, WITH LYLE, PATRICK MY BROTHER, SCOTT, AND MANY MORE, AND THE BIG ORANGE TENT WAS FINALLY BOUGHT BY A FAMILY I THOUGHT I SAW IT AT THE ABORIGINAL TENT EMBASSY, IT COULD’VE BEEN IT LOOKED LIKE IT, AND IT’S GOOD THAT, IF IT IS, THAT POOR PEOPLE WITHOUT A HOME ARE ENJOYING THIS TENT AS A HOME GREAT ALLAN FAMILY CAMPING OVER
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39
The sea cast a gift ashore one stormy sullen day and the barren rocky coast was suddenly recast as a natural history museum. A whale. A real whale, just lying there shining on the shale In another time, we'd have known how to react. This astonishing bounty would have been quickly stripped Bones for building baleen for support blubber and oil for fuel. But now it lay surrounded by detritus made of better stuff. The truth was, we didn't really need it, couldn't really use it, like being presented with Casablanca on VHS. A sign appeared: "Quad bike rides, £2", red paint on rainsoaked cardboard. I wasn't tempted. Children poked it with sticks in a desultory way, stricken, intrigued, ashamed, and utterly dwarfed. The weeks passed as we coughed in embarrassment not knowing what to do, until finally someone brought a digger down and discretely buried the beast. By now, it will be a perfect skeleton a prehistoric wonder an artefact from unjaded days when nature could still astonish, trampled by unknowing tourists as they dream of sunnier beaches.
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Jan 1, 2012
Jan 1, 2012 at 3:06 PM UTC
The Whale
Good Day spoken in a bad austrailian accent bad juju voodoo clear light poltergeist on disablity Hoarding every scrap of miserable memories attached to trash your apartment is a holiday for nightmares and childmolesters ******* magazines, old sanitary napkins , bad vhs movies lay like dead soldiers waiting for the war to end Black bags and boxes scattered every where are villages to rats and every unknown pestilence you can only read about in medical textbooks. half eaten pizzas covered in pickles dried up sadly looking at empty pills You have no hold on me I can't understand your pain nor will i listen to your overdramatic ******** about whoever or scheming to defraud Walmart Your mutilation is a scar spelling sociopathic miscreant child trapped in an old mismatched shell of no clear gender. Your diagnostic prophecies from the dsm5 dismissed like school on a snow day. Will commands the unentanglement uncurse unfear dispell all your contradictions accusations monologrhthyms bad music choices and echoes of muttered mustard. only truth will be uplifted Peace be with you whereever you are currently infesting enjoy your dora the explorer ice cream Was there ever a floor in here?
0
Mar 25, 2010
Mar 25, 2010 at 12:53 AM UTC
good day
It takes me back as I sift thru years of collected basement junk a rainbow milk hurricane thru time I jump into the vortex emitted from my dust-bound N64 an old tv I used for video games sits in a corner by boxes of board games & VHS tapes my dad bought me memories like shoelaces now untied, I trip on them an evanescent trip. The things in the vortex are warped by time blended from real things into memory cards memories like bodies decaying in the basement memories like apparitions diaphanous & ethereal but always somewhere in that dark it's a trip that I'm used to it takes me back
0
Feb 28, 2013
Feb 28, 2013 at 2:48 PM UTC
A Rainbow Milk Hurricane Thru Time
I woke up the sun softly breaking through resting on the wall, i left my radio on playing songs and songs that i love my hair is glued to my forehead i feel it scratching against my skin i look around piles of clothes laying on the corner of my bed empty bowls of  cheerio cereal my guitars laying up against a wall one that is laying on the floor two burnt matches on the floor a poorly painted zebra mask and a yellow leaf that fell from its place a lot of dried pieces fell off the dead leaf, old VHS tapes against the wall ***** dancing,breakfest club,ferris bueller , blues brothers so much more books piled in each other dorian grey,to **** a mockingbird, a farewell to arms i'm missing two books i lent them to my friend red ink from a pen on the floor i had to keep the guitar cord at a certain bend to it would amplify it gave in and exploded a green paint mark on my wall and a cut out mustache an old keyboard of the 80's sometimes it turns on sometimes it doesn't notebooks of poems and boxes of drawing i did when i was younger a big jar with two dead roses pencils and pens cross in and out a little emptied out honey jar filled with all my train tickets my bracelets laying on the floor except for the blue one my wrist it never comes off my camera lays beside the camera beg drawings on the wall and my hats on top of each other and my sweaters all over the place vinyl album covers of the Beatles and Pink Floyd My mom calls it a mess i call it me...
0
Dec 26, 2013
Dec 26, 2013 at 12:09 AM UTC
Je t'aime a lot
[ final, before flight ] learnt through dusty feet and stomachs growlin’ their dyin’ growls. days and weeks with leakin’ roof, and nature’s bountiful army marchin’ on and through. candle-lit synthetic canvas absorbin’ fired raditation, *** upon baked ground starin’ at drunken fire pit – conversed two hours, and with dawn one side meld’d in the dancin’ orange and reds. walk’d macadame, in full June the tar bubbled to the surface and patch’d holed soles – surfaced skin, turn’d black. graveyard of gypsum; burnt out child’s playground; horse protectin’ territory, or life; pawnin’ everything not bolt’d down – death of materialism, birth of a **** off mentality. bought Black-and-Milds so to reroll a few cigarettes, save wood tip for later use. save everything for later use, stash everything for later use. stab’d in stupidity and made to mend the wound with worries of:    will i use this hand again? [ C ] cryin’ for Annie, cryin’ out, knowin’ she will return without my concern. knowin’ she’s probably rummagin’ through some neighbor’s house. cryin’ out. cryin’ out. lyin’ down on pallet’d floor, gettin’ usher’d out so she could **** [ A ] mouse detectives on VHS, an awkward glance at left – all the signs, none of the glory. misdirectin’ for no reason, reappearin’ without reason, disappearin’ for every reason. [ T ] road impart’d day’s heat through all the night, and moon lit unknown paths. cryin’ out, peddlin’ faster, carryin’ weight in hope at final penance. no penance. [ O ] an artist’s rush, turn’d paper to masterpiece with seemin’ lack of effort. stole heart, keel’d in, cast off to placebo girl in roomate’s bed. - - - abrupt ending
0
Dec 28, 2012
Dec 28, 2012 at 3:43 AM UTC
CATO
[ final, before flight ] learnt through dusty feet and stomachs growlin’ their dyin’ growls. days and weeks with leakin’ roof, and nature’s bountiful army marchin’ on and through. candle-lit synthetic canvas absorbin’ fired raditation, *** upon baked ground starin’ at drunken fire pit – conversed two hours, and with dawn one side meld’d in the dancin’ orange and reds. walk’d macadame, in full June the tar bubbled to the surface and patch’d holed soles – surfaced skin, turn’d black. graveyard of gypsum; burnt out child’s playground; horse protectin’ territory, or life; pawnin’ everything not bolt’d down – death of materialism, birth of a **** off mentality. bought Black-and-Milds so to reroll a few cigarettes, save wood tip for later use. save everything for later use, stash everything for later use. stab’d in stupidity and made to mend the wound with worries of:    will i use this hand again? [ C ] cryin’ for Annie, cryin’ out, knowin’ she will return without my concern. knowin’ she’s probably rummagin’ through some neighbor’s house. cryin’ out. cryin’ out. lyin’ down on pallet’d floor, gettin’ usher’d out so she could **** [ A ] mouse detectives on VHS, an awkward glance at left – all the signs, none of the glory. misdirectin’ for no reason, reappearin’ without reason, disappearin’ for every reason. [ T ] road impart’d day’s heat through all the night, and moon lit unknown paths. cryin’ out, peddlin’ faster, carryin’ weight in hope at final penance. no penance. [ O ] an artist’s rush, turn’d paper to masterpiece with seemin’ lack of effort. stole heart, keel’d in, cast off to placebo girl in roomate’s bed. - - - abrupt ending
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65
I wish I could wish I was more in the moment and less in the haze of a memory Find me in a nonregulation tankless sensory deprivation simulation to deep dive into why my history grips so tightly It's not lost on me that it feeds off of the litany of my bad energy, a never ending supply and still greedy Can't say it's a mystery, not completely, hesitation is hard wired in on the heals of every lesson in misery Honestly it's never a surprise, not really, the first complication to arise naturally is my own reactionary jurk of the knee Even though that's never worked out for me, never seem to benefit any, quite the contrary actually It's entertainment for my inner dialogue, continuously laughing menacingly as it nurtures this three-ring calamity And I'm left to recite a sorry apology with the conviction of a hostage on VHS tape through a grainy TV So why do I do it? Clearly it's not a chosen journey but rather some hopeless, helpless destiny One I prayed would never find me but it was as timely as untimely could be And now, this is me ©2023
0
Jul 8, 2023
Jul 8, 2023 at 7:22 PM UTC
~•§•~ This Is Me ~•§•~
I carried you on my back Like a sack of potatoes. Back and forth and back and forth Caught between Daddy Issues and Words that call forth memories That call forth pain that call forth Vomiting Monday nights before therapy. All of our VHS boxes are packed up neatly In the attic between old photo albums of Broken family after broken family after Generations who don’t know each other’s Stories. We’re ****** up. That’s all we’ve ever been as a family. And she sings jellyfish clouds While he rhymes puppydog tears Somewhere between the nature of agender, One gender, two gender, red gender, blue gender. They’re the first kid in generations to write. They’re the first kid in generations to escape. They’re the first kid in generations with mirtazapine dreams. And no one lets them forget it.
0
Jan 28, 2013
Jan 28, 2013 at 11:46 PM UTC
Broken Home, Broken Bones
You’d do well to keep in mind The lines falling short inside And all the people standing outside Looking in Feeling the sin Sink down their arms Into their shoes And out of brain range This is it The reckoning Of sorts anyway The lost keys found The square peg round The light at the end of the tunnel On an extra long chord Finally being pulled Nighty night Let all that ails you tuck you down tight Bring back the child of let’s say 10 That version of you And start explaining As you have much to do He might look up and say “Who are you?” And that’s a valid ******* question you know *Valid ******* question* Cause he won’t know And neither will you The disconnect is growing moss Off the side of Highway 2 And memories are like old VHS tapes That nobody watches anymore Don’t have time for that Too much going on With all the nothing to move and stack Rearrange Sifting for change Like it’s in your pocket And you’re at the soda machine After walking back into town mid-June Cause your car breaks down In the middle of the Middle(est) West And you are thirsty But the machine is all out And the clock is broken Along with your need for concern It just doesn’t matter now And you are more than well aware You are ****** scope From 300 yards up and away aware There’s no move (even the slightest) getting past you You guard that tower Like an insecure guy guards his bestest (crush) girl –friend You know the one that takes him shopping And tells him secrets That should be dropped in a volcano – but regardless He will never see the color of her ******* Unless she has him do her laundry
0
Mar 4, 2014
Mar 4, 2014 at 6:27 PM UTC
The Danger Zone, The Twilight Zone And The Friend Zone Walk Into A Bar ...
You’d do well to keep in mind The lines falling short inside And all the people standing outside Looking in Feeling the sin Sink down their arms Into their shoes And out of brain range This is it The reckoning Of sorts anyway The lost keys found The square peg round The light at the end of the tunnel On an extra long chord Finally being pulled Nighty night Let all that ails you tuck you down tight Bring back the child of let’s say 10 That version of you And start explaining As you have much to do He might look up and say “Who are you?” And that’s a valid ******* question you know *Valid ******* question* Cause he won’t know And neither will you The disconnect is growing moss Off the side of Highway 2 And memories are like old VHS tapes That nobody watches anymore Don’t have time for that Too much going on With all the nothing to move and stack Rearrange Sifting for change Like it’s in your pocket And you’re at the soda machine After walking back into town mid-June Cause your car breaks down In the middle of the Middle(est) West And you are thirsty But the machine is all out And the clock is broken Along with your need for concern It just doesn’t matter now And you are more than well aware You are ****** scope From 300 yards up and away aware There’s no move (even the slightest) getting past you You guard that tower Like an insecure guy guards his bestest (crush) girl –friend You know the one that takes him shopping And tells him secrets That should be dropped in a volcano – but regardless He will never see the color of her ******* Unless she has him do her laundry
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59
Was watching Disney's The Lion King on VHS Got it from the thrift store for a dollar When it started up It was halfway through That realization made me wonder Someone somewhere started this movie But they never finished it They stopped it Took it out of their VCR They never picked it up again Except to pack it in a box of old forgotten things I wonder what made them stop it Was it a child who went to play outside with his friends? And when he returned Was he grown with no desire to be a child again? Did he find a better movie to watch? Or did he find the movie boring and never bothered with it again? Was it a Mother watching it while feeding her baby? Did she leave to get more food? And while she was out Did she come across the new and improved DVD player? Did she find it on sale and thought it must be better than VHS? Maybe it was an old man reliving an easier day when he was younger Was it the last movie he watched Before the paramedics stopped it And took him away to his final resting place? Was it his daughter who took it out of the VCR Placed it carefully in its casing Put it with all the other VHS tapes she found in an old box Gave that box to the thrift shop Where I inevitably found it and brought it home Why was this VHS forgotten?
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Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 5:38 PM UTC
Old Forgotten Things
By Arcassin Burnham She stands to pass the test, With a brand new vhs, In new York, in new York, I don't know what I could do, But to be right next to you, In new York , in new York, I could possibly put her in the first lane of my mind set as I swerve, Trailed down with minor regrets I did later, Love you deserve, Turtlenecks itching my skin, Foot on the gas, Too much caffeine In my system just to let her pass, She didn't fail the test , so its only temporary that she .... .....stands to pass the test, With a brand new vhs, In new York, in new York, I don't know what I could do, But to be right next to you, In new York , in new York.
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May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015 at 10:54 PM UTC
"90's Love Affair" (A Touch Of Skin mEP)
Is it my counter-counterclockwise mind wasting time? Elbows on the dining table pulling my angel hair into grid-like times tables. I’m invested in this non-conversation table. Ich liebe dich, mein Freund. I’ve got commitment issues and four-ply tissues for when my eye lashes start peeling apart. My grandpa died in 2005 and I’m all but over it. I’m holding his kite string, but the reel is almost done, like VHS tapes rewound then fast-forwarded to the good times. Power Ranger birthday and everyone’s wearing dunce caps with elastic chin straps ‘til they snap. Snap! Snap! Snap me back to three-years-old, and I’m singing in a Robin costume ‘cause I knew I’d always be second best. I had an identity crisis around fourteen, so I stopped buying sunglasses because I found myself in other peoples’ shadows. But now the only shadows they’re casting are the ones from their headstones and from the fields of flowers cradling them like they once cradled me. Fast-forward, I’m genuflecting in gym shorts before myself in a mirror smudged with plum felt. And I seem small compared to my life spelled out in Expo marker markings.
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Oct 21, 2014
Oct 21, 2014 at 9:31 PM UTC
My Life Spelled Out
Chapter I I once was young minded, vulnerable with wide tooth grins and fluttering words, binding soft skin with liquid metals - like gallium, clustering in my ribbed fingertips and letting love level in my lips. I turned old the day I watched rough bodies portraying the new style of *** on a vhs tape, and he gave me a shaking milkshake to turn off my developing voicebox. I always wore this barbie nightgown that had tears from the nights before, but that's ancient dust that folks flip past in encyclopedias. as he knelt down to tie my veins together in little bows, I untied after each loop was set in my bones. his acidic fingers braced my eight year old metal frame, so I broke the nuts and bolts since I wanted to see if he was a part of the human race, I wanted to see if he could bleed iron-richness that kept myself breathing. Chapter II he was beautiful. his philosophy branched in segments and he tasted of earthy tones, but sometimes he couldn't smile easy and I felt his love only in acts of passion. The football game stuttered in pure vertigo, as if my body was still positioned in missionary. he held me in concern, his arms laced as protection from myself. as a survivor, his words felt like whiplash or lagging from too much flying in the high altitude. I needed to forget, float, forgive and begin the process over again. I would never see the shades of love from anyone other than from him, his words used to brand me. Chapter III I drank too much. I wished on meteorites, lead-filled, hoping they wouldn't fall on the tent. my luck was never strong enough. I felt as if a wildfire was singeing my dysfunctional limbs. I wanted him off. now. and my tongue was made of parchment paper. crisped. I woke up ten after nine. my body repulsed me, throwing up the last of poisonous alcohol I left stranded the night before. I devoted that I will never sleep in a tent again. Chapter IV I am finally free. I still have energy in these old bones, and I want to put them to good use. so I'll walk for centuries to find truth and trust. I use my voice to tell myself I am more profound than the surface film those insignificants swept on my skin. I found my voice again.
0
Mar 31, 2011
Mar 31, 2011 at 4:51 PM UTC
living, walking, proof of ****** chapters
Chapter I I once was young minded, vulnerable with wide tooth grins and fluttering words, binding soft skin with liquid metals - like gallium, clustering in my ribbed fingertips and letting love level in my lips. I turned old the day I watched rough bodies portraying the new style of *** on a vhs tape, and he gave me a shaking milkshake to turn off my developing voicebox. I always wore this barbie nightgown that had tears from the nights before, but that's ancient dust that folks flip past in encyclopedias. as he knelt down to tie my veins together in little bows, I untied after each loop was set in my bones. his acidic fingers braced my eight year old metal frame, so I broke the nuts and bolts since I wanted to see if he was a part of the human race, I wanted to see if he could bleed iron-richness that kept myself breathing. Chapter II he was beautiful. his philosophy branched in segments and he tasted of earthy tones, but sometimes he couldn't smile easy and I felt his love only in acts of passion. The football game stuttered in pure vertigo, as if my body was still positioned in missionary. he held me in concern, his arms laced as protection from myself. as a survivor, his words felt like whiplash or lagging from too much flying in the high altitude. I needed to forget, float, forgive and begin the process over again. I would never see the shades of love from anyone other than from him, his words used to brand me. Chapter III I drank too much. I wished on meteorites, lead-filled, hoping they wouldn't fall on the tent. my luck was never strong enough. I felt as if a wildfire was singeing my dysfunctional limbs. I wanted him off. now. and my tongue was made of parchment paper. crisped. I woke up ten after nine. my body repulsed me, throwing up the last of poisonous alcohol I left stranded the night before. I devoted that I will never sleep in a tent again. Chapter IV I am finally free. I still have energy in these old bones, and I want to put them to good use. so I'll walk for centuries to find truth and trust. I use my voice to tell myself I am more profound than the surface film those insignificants swept on my skin. I found my voice again.
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83
In my house there is a cupboard Full of VHS tapes One of them is a recording of a news broadcast On it I stand Hospital gowned and smiling Clowns are there on the terrace where it was filmed Painting our faces They all smile I smile The other kids smile None of us over 4 feet But balding Black eyed and missing toothed A clown takes my hand and begins to paint It is cold The paint And the Terrace I tell her how I want to run away with her She smiles Maybe On camera You can see my back through the open gown The bones make me look like a brontosaurus I turn to the camera Remembering I was told never to smile with the paint on or it will crack The circles under my eyes are gone My lips are red My cheeks are tan I look normal Off camera mommies and daddies are crying Off camera the clowns are crying On camera There is a terrace full of dying children In a hospital And we all looked normal
0
May 10, 2011
May 10, 2011 at 11:25 AM UTC
We All Look Normal
something about you. something about october the dried up leaves and the way everything feels quiet in the middle of the day like living inside of a vhs tape that hasn't been rewound in a decade or two makes me want to start visiting the cemetery make friends with the forgotten when we ended up walking the dogs there on accident it felt like coming home i'll bring my books and a bag of dried cherries, peanut butter bars of dark chocolate wrapped in gold foil, sunflower seeds the nightstand with the warped wooden drawer that's always getting stuck where i keep the half-melted birthday candles and a box of matches, just in case prop my pillow up against a headstone read vonnegut until i fall asleep grow closer to death until it doesn't scare me anymore i used to think ghosts lived in mausoleums but now i know they live inside of a twenty-four-year-old who watches the same vampire movie every time it rains just to feel safe inside the familiarity of the past i'm still the twelve-year-old girl just waiting for something to happen to her i burn my skin in the shower just to feel less alone
0
Oct 26, 2020
Oct 26, 2020 at 3:32 PM UTC
resting place
Ring the Bell for Old DePauw, Ha! Here's to Cold DePauw Here's to passing cars. Here's to winter, Here's to bars. Here's to frozen Noses, rigid Fingers Sore Livers, rough Throats. Here's to Shivers. Remember the beginning Remember waking up Remember lost keys. Remember yesterday, A year ago? Remember that longboard we found Amongst the art. Remember that sculpture, And the moving stone. Remember Heathrow. Here's to dreaming. Let there be Lighters! And ashtrays! Let there be fireworks Keep the air and the friends in Keep the door closed. Keep it locked, But let the noise out. Keep the fan on. Give me shelter give me recollection, give me choice give me space. We need more love more canceled flights, need more VHS, more wine more cheese, we need more heartbreak, more sweet dreams. Let us keep pictures Let us keep letters Let us keep papers Let us keep sweaters And glitter, Keep it all. Let us keep it alive.
0
Jul 31, 2011
Jul 31, 2011 at 5:37 PM UTC
A Brief note from the Carmarthen Office.
In her cartoon world in shades of pastel browns and reds, Little orphaned Ann Marie skips through twisted nightmare scenes On corroded tape on VHS or a flimsy plastic five buck DVD. Come home, come home to my heart Kneeling on pale, cartoon knees and singing sweetly of secret dreams, A haunted melody forgotten by all but a few jaded '90s college kids, Ann Marie wishes on stars in dingy cellars on days she cannot go outside. When you come home, we'll never be apart Trapped in her B-quality version of immortality, Ann Marie repeats her lines While the girl behind the microphone drops dead in a puddle of blood.
0
Mar 15, 2013
Mar 15, 2013 at 8:28 PM UTC
Just A Cartoon
this very fall reckoned everything loses its meaning under the strain of redundancy. I know this to be a perfect truth but I still revel in the images I keep sacred behind my eyes, with all my autumns boiled down (a bare bone), to a single one for me that was warm crisp and altogether virginal- my last one, as long as I live for it is replayed as each monarch rests in my sight and with each bird arrowed south- and I tongue things spiced to remember so I can go down with memory’s ship willingly with collapsed and stunted lungs tenderly warping it into something it never was bleeding it dry of auburn reds and gold, my attempts at keeping myself loved- young. but now what do those moments mean? there have been many falls since that one, nothing but I love yous on walls- played back so many many times, like warped vhs, warbling and clipping the inherent meaning gone or completely scrambled.
0
Sep 11, 2013
Sep 11, 2013 at 1:00 PM UTC
everything loses its meaning under the strain of redundancy
Plasmatic schematics mold plastics & filament dangles in the doorway. Grape fuit sweat, enough to fill a Basilisk flask, stains my nostrils. Thermodynamic hammocks solved the energy crisis between me & her. A golden silhouette postulates in my doorway; speaking in tongues to her **** She is the structure of water. The process of a thought. Gouge out my eye & hold it consciously between those clammy palms .
0
Oct 25, 2014
Oct 25, 2014 at 11:37 PM UTC
VHS
Lost in the fumes of a cloudy exhale I search for a glimpse of myself in grimy water. My remains are scattered somewhere between boyhood and gutter trash. The present is hardly of concern when the blankets of mud offer such astounding silence. This swamp was flooded with the prosperity of quitters. - The face of the street I grew up on has been radically warped and distorted. Leave a good thing to the elements long enough and you’ll see it begin to degrade. Dust gathers and mold begins to creep in from the moisture lingering in the air. It happens to our childhood toys just as easily as it happens to the people we know. - Everything still holds the same shape; the same structure that casts a shadow in memory, it’s just that now the cosmetics have worn off and you can see the tired lines start to show. You can hear the creak of arthritic wooden steps to front porches where old kin with liver spots sit and drink a shared Ice House 40 oz. while spitting into the wind. Cavities from a candy coated childhood. - There are strangers in my old home, that place where my uncle lives surrounded by VHS tapes, pictures of Brett Favre, and reminders of dead cockatiels. The biggest struggle is trying to recall if he was always this way, or did it take a forty year dope binge for the hoarder to finally stir? - I wrote my name in the sidewalk at the foot of steps. I search for a glimpse of myself in grimy water and check under the bushes for garter snakes . My stomping grounds have been wiped of footprints and grandma’s violets don’t come in very well anymore. They cut down the walnut tree, and got rid of the porch swing. No time for whimsy, no time for strays. The cicadas will sleep for ten more years, ‘til summer.
0
Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 3:57 AM UTC
Decatur, A Kingdom in Six Parts, Part V: Green and University
Lost in the fumes of a cloudy exhale I search for a glimpse of myself in grimy water. My remains are scattered somewhere between boyhood and gutter trash. The present is hardly of concern when the blankets of mud offer such astounding silence. This swamp was flooded with the prosperity of quitters. - The face of the street I grew up on has been radically warped and distorted. Leave a good thing to the elements long enough and you’ll see it begin to degrade. Dust gathers and mold begins to creep in from the moisture lingering in the air. It happens to our childhood toys just as easily as it happens to the people we know. - Everything still holds the same shape; the same structure that casts a shadow in memory, it’s just that now the cosmetics have worn off and you can see the tired lines start to show. You can hear the creak of arthritic wooden steps to front porches where old kin with liver spots sit and drink a shared Ice House 40 oz. while spitting into the wind. Cavities from a candy coated childhood. - There are strangers in my old home, that place where my uncle lives surrounded by VHS tapes, pictures of Brett Favre, and reminders of dead cockatiels. The biggest struggle is trying to recall if he was always this way, or did it take a forty year dope binge for the hoarder to finally stir? - I wrote my name in the sidewalk at the foot of steps. I search for a glimpse of myself in grimy water and check under the bushes for garter snakes . My stomping grounds have been wiped of footprints and grandma’s violets don’t come in very well anymore. They cut down the walnut tree, and got rid of the porch swing. No time for whimsy, no time for strays. The cicadas will sleep for ten more years, ‘til summer.
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1 Oz. Passionate Obsession 1/2 Oz. Dread 1 Oz. Insatiable Hunger 2 Cubes of Sugared Words Garnish with Broken Hearts and Candied Intestines Serve Cold, it’s what she would’ve wanted
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Sep 18, 2025
Sep 18, 2025 at 11:17 AM UTC
Recipe: VHS Tape in a Glass
Bright horizons rise up Over the broad, soothing, Pixelated mountains. A parse in the code wakes And shivers under the Blazingly cold sun. Drifting clouds, silvered with Pixels, flowing like a River of neon lights. The data streams above, Dreamy and nostalgic, Like quiet afternoons Inside, listening to the Cool, pattering rain tap Gently at the window. Dark clouds outside, stirring With a roll of thunder, And a screen, the music Chimes gently in your mind. Hums, chords, thrums, and a quiet, Beckoning warmth, waving Back through the pixel clouds Under the pixel sun. The colours blend with The sweet taste of cola. Salty crisps, shaken, bagged And popped open at lunch. Fresh tuna sandwiches, The click of a cassette tape. Unwrapped magazines. Old smells mingle on your Cool tongue. Lavender oil, Peppermints in Winter, Strawberries and cream. You Feel the pixels in your Pockets, like loose change. Those soft chimes return still To the old windowsill In the light breeze. Each leaf Its own story, washed in Streams of pixels, flowing Timid through the sky. A bird tweets. The dreams stir And fade into the clouds. Softly lit, glowing sun, Bathed in warm nostalgia. Nobody really goes To Earth, anymore.
0
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 13, 2018 at 2:57 AM UTC
VHS