"seroquel" poems
In response to the text: *"who wants to get ********* this weekend?"*
I reply: I'll bring donuts, Gatorade, and Cards Against Humanity.
I tell the girls that the snacks are for them, so they don't get too drunk or hungover.
But really I know myself too well, and I binge when I feel lonely.
Its hard not to feel lonely, when you're the only sober one there.
At the Party:
Never Have I Ever reveals more than I ever thought it would.
I might be the oldest, but I am by no means the most mature.
Things I have never heard of, things I could have never thought of are things of which they speak.
Two donuts are gone.
Their alarms all go off at 10:00 for birth control. They take out their mini purse packs of 30 pills, no bigger than a credit card.
I don't take birth control, because my periods are regular, and well:
Depression+antidepressants+confusion of sexuality= no *** drive at all.
I mean zip, zero, nothing.
Leaving me to be the only ****** of the six girls here.
Three donuts are gone.
Hours ago though, I took my 300mg of Seroquel XR.
I timed it just right.
This time I won't fall asleep hours before everyone else
'Pong' requires drinking so I sit their and watch.
Four donuts are gone
Shots are taken.
I pour more tea into my mug.
Five Donuts are Gone
Drunk face-timing old friends who have moved away results in much yelling, and her hanging up.
I start a new group text where I talk only to myself.
All Donuts are gone
There is no wonder why alcohol and depression don't mix
Jun 16, 2015
Jun 16, 2015 at 11:48 PM UTC
you see, i like partying, these celebrities ain't partying, they are popping pills
in the wrong way, you see i have thoughts that athena heals me in my sleep
and sometimes those pills could help, but really dudes paracetaol is good, it's just
that that people want to be so ****** perfect, like, i just woke up from a dream
where an old mate named james taught me all the mistakes i made when i was young
and a bit of mum and dad was thrown into the conversation, when i wasn't paying much attention to what james was actually saying, you see i know i was a crazy mother ******
but that doesn't mean i approve of their partying, but a lot of people don't approve of my partying, but i don't care, athena is helping me, with coke and paracetamol and fluoride
and seroquel and serenace, some people hate partying because they are too old, i just
say, hi, old i am brian and partying is going to community events and dancing by the stage
and i know, that looking and examining this documentary, it shows hos partying can lead
to rotten religion, but i believe in rotten religion i believe if you wanna have *** go ahead and have *** and if you like to party into the night, go ahead, just because you
party doesn't mean you ain't grown up. it just means i like partying and another thing
i am a grown up dude, i loves to party, with coca cola, you see i feel my voices are
trying to make me a fucken moral citizen, what is the hell wrong with partying at community events, my motto is learn about your drug your taking, saying, do you really
want this kinda life that the drug will provide for you and stay with partying with sugar or alcohol and leave illegal drugs alone, paracetamol is a pill you take to release pain
and if you believe it, send spiritual healer athena to you
ATHENA WORKS WONDER, take paracetamoil
let's party at community events
you don't have to look like you party, just say, at least i am out
i don't want to be the kind of old dogie who says no to going out partying
well, i don't think much of nightclubs anymore
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 11:38 AM UTC
⚠Trigger Warning; the following poem contains subject matter pertaining to suicide, self-harm, and eating disorders⚠
-------------------------------------------------------------------
how do u know if ur having a nervous breakdown
-------------------------------------------------------------------
signs of a nervous breakdown
-------------------------------------------------------------------
can u be hospitalized for having a nervous breakdown
-------------------------------------------------------------------
grounds for admission to a psychiatric ward
-------------------------------------------------------------------
what's it like being admitted to a psychiatric ward
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker suicide scene
-------------------------------------------------------------------
how do u know if ur having a panic attack
-------------------------------------------------------------------
are panic attacks and anxiety attacks the same thing
-------------------------------------------------------------------
whats the difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack
-------------------------------------------------------------------
generalized anxiety disorder symptoms
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker suicide scene
-------------------------------------------------------------------
borderline personality disorder symptoms
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
why are my hands always cold
-------------------------------------------------------------------
prozac side effects
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
bipolar disorder symptoms
-------------------------------------------------------------------
seroquel side effects
-------------------------------------------------------------------
does seroquel make you gain weight
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
how to refrain from eating
-------------------------------------------------------------------
how to force yourself to throw up
-------------------------------------------------------------------
eating disorder symptoms
-------------------------------------------------------------------
binge eating disorder symptoms
-------------------------------------------------------------------
bulimia symptoms
-------------------------------------------------------------------
anorexia symptoms
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
insomnia
-------------------------------------------------------------------
can you overdose on melatonin
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
how did sylvia plath **** herself
-------------------------------------------------------------------
carbon monoxide poisoning
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
how many advils do I have to take to **** myself
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
major depressive disorder symptoms
-------------------------------------------------------------------
suicide warning signs
-------------------------------------------------------------------
IS PATH WARM
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
tortured artist
-------------------------------------------------------------------
why did vincent van gogh cut off his ear
-------------------------------------------------------------------
virginia woolf suicide note
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
songs about suicide
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why soundtrack
-------------------------------------------------------------------
billie eilish lovely lyrics
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
why do I feel so empty
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
empty
-------------------------------------------------------------------
thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
-------------------------------------------------------------------
i wish i was dead
Jan 13, 2019
Jan 13, 2019 at 1:49 PM UTC
They watch me closely
They feed me with pills
Until I'm fat and unhealthy
They show me the hospital bills
nine-thousand dollars for me
being sent to a facility.
I'm drugged up and ****** up
Is that rabbit really there?
I lay in my bed then I sit up
Am I really, truly, honestly here?
My plan didn't work unfortunately
I woke up in a hospital
with an IV dropping ever so slowly
"How could you be so irresponsible?"
Wellbutrin, Geodon, Zoloft and Clozapine
Latuda, Synthroid, Seroquel and Clomipramine
One after the other goes into my mouth
Lined inside my little pill box pouch.
Maybe life will get better some day
Not today, or tomorrow, or next week
But someday, I promise you, I'll be okay
I am no longer a failure, I am no longer meek.
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015 at 12:27 PM UTC
Dean Roberts had two homes
One was in port Adelaide and the other was in rhw Adelaide hills and he lived in the adelaide hills but he had paranoid mates living 3 doors down from his Port Adelaide home
You see there were squatters living there making everyone living around there scared to leave their homes and this usually happened every night from 4pm till dawn and then it appeared to be early but nobody went near the hooise except for dean Roberts who was hermless but the residents
Of the nearby homes barocsded themselves in their homes and there were psychiatrists around for anyone who becomes too scared to cross the main road and making sure no vunerable person was struggling getting to where they wanted to go or where they lived and dean Roberts was unaware of all this because there was no sign of people living there and dean's best friend Toni was the target in some way, you see she lived in the house opposite that house
And she called the police numerous times which forced cars to follow her making her look very scared but she still wanted to help the police remove them so she used herself as bait to catch them
But this was easy for them but Toni was in danger of losing her life making her scream so loud
But while Toni was with them dean was trapped inside his port Adelaide home but he broke the window and iinstead of going home to the hills he slept in his car waiting for the
Squatters to come back and When they did dean grabbed a broom and came in there saying come on get out of my house and then while that was going on Toni was panicking crossing the road making it half way across and then going back especially after they took her from her place of work and dumped her at the lights making her scared to hold someone even the police
Cause she watches the news where people dress up as police to take advantage of ladies like Toni and after dean got rid of the squatters for bow
He drove home with people yelling out to him hi mr hero
With people bipping their horn
Saying you are port Adelaide's
Hero but Toni was still struggling to get home and this forced the police to grab her and take her home
To take her medication and go to bed and one of the squatters returned and was caught and shoved in Ron coopers psych ward where he was put on eppelim and he was forced to one day tell them why he lived in dean Roberts property and squatter said his name was ken
Psrtley and Ron gave ken an injection of abilify to calm
Him down and Ron went back home and had pizza and coke
While ken was stuck in a Place he hated and Toni was still paranoid about crossing that road and dean helped her get through this like a friend would
Dec 1, 2016
Dec 1, 2016 at 6:10 PM UTC
Party zone with johnny Brown
Johnny'. Hi guys and welcome to party zone and without further ado here is a song from
The ***** hater and no one here will like him I can tell you
***** hater'
The drunks of Australia
Have made their choice
Getting drunk and bashing people up
The drunks of Australia have actually learnt
That their behaviour is so disruptive
You see it is me sitting in this bar drinking everything that came out like taquila and kalua
And a nice cold beer
You see a big mean biker dude
Came up to me and said
You are singing about my friends
And I said
The drunks of Australia have
Made their choice
Getting drunk and bashing people up oh yeah
The drunks of Australia
Should actually learn
Their behaviour is so disruptive
You see I went over to the stage
To put $20 in the bucket because this band asks for donations to help support their kid in chile, as usual there was
A lot of money there but as a natural fact everyone in here is a helper apart from
The drunks of Australia have made their choice
Getting drunk and bashing people up
The drunks of Australia
Should actually learn
Their behaviour is quite disruptive
Johnny'. Thank you ***** hater
And now here is Toby with his
Song about partying
Toby'. I wanna party I wanna party
All ****** day and night
I will upload my song about bullying on YouTube to raise
Awareness that it is wrong
To bully
I wanna party I wanna party
All day and night
I will post this song on hello poetry to inspire people
To feel good about posting their
Stuff
I wanna party I wanna party
Like meat loaf and noiseworks
And twisted sister
I said pass the carrots please
And then I went upstairs to yell at my son using the army is better than music gag
I wanna party I wanna party
I wanna get wasted every day and night
I really wanna party dudes
Johnny' thank you Toby
And now here is mentally ill Harry
Harry'. I go to see my case manager to get a script for seroquel
It is ****** ****** annoying
How they don't give it to me
I don't spend that long away from my phone
Please please please I want
You understand that we ain't robots mate and my beard and glasses and my filthy feet and hands and toe nails and finger nails about as long as a tree branch
Please provide me with a script for seroquel please please please
Johnny thank you Harry
And we will see you next time on party zone bye
Sent from my iPhone
Jun 24, 2016
Jun 24, 2016 at 9:06 AM UTC
The lifeless nights
The fog-filled days
I miss my step
You are my crutch
But to trust in you
Is to trust in Satan
The healing you offer
Is vile and tainted
Yet in my eagerness,
In my haste
I gave way to your seduction
And I became sedated.
Jan 31, 2013
Jan 31, 2013 at 8:11 AM UTC
it’s what’s done
that can’t be said
stupidity you can see
it’s just me
can’t tell you all the things i see
cause i don’t really know it all
i cry and lament of whats uncanny
sensibilities for unnecessary
points of grandeur
don’t help me
all they do is keep me awake
Feb 5, 2021
Feb 5, 2021 at 6:22 PM UTC
It's the night,
before another rotation,
things feel right,
unspoken words,
have turned into one way actions,
elusive internet *******
replaced by the piggle wiggle's,
chainsaw snoring,
the room smells of seroquel, feet,
and the helping of hope,
sticks from a recovery melted poet,
legs of jell-o,
mood of mellow,
dancing twilight in a skyline,
of building and buses,
a year ago he was drunk,
and jail was his entitlement a week,
later,
two years and more,
have evaporated to chemicals and nights that no longer exist,
and lust,
and fair share of unalibitical rust,
the sounds and smells he's,
holding onto this year,
the only hourglass sand bits,
not fallen through, for the feels of fear,
will only disappear,
Birthdays in rehab,
birthdays ad non infinitum,
courtships of programming & meetings,
the poet,
now producing naturally foreign unforced smiles,
better get his sponsor,
to sign his slip.
Nov 18, 2017
Nov 18, 2017 at 4:22 PM UTC
Do I take a clonazepam
Do I take a seroquel
Do I take the new antipsychotic
Tight skin
Tight skin
Tight skin
If i smoke **** do I long term fertilize my paranoia
Is there a way to live without sedation
Tight skin
Tight skin
Tight skin
Agitation
Irritation
Sensitivity
Anxiety
Paranoia
The collective static of the tension spots
Internal screaming
Waiting for the clonazepam to kick in
Sep 28, 2017
Sep 28, 2017 at 1:23 AM UTC
you see just because you suffer from bad teeth and need to see dentists a lot of your time, it still can just mean you are reforming your body, like i have an infection in my mouth which is totally powerful and i am taking cephalexin every 12 hours till the capsules will run out, and if you pay attention to that, you can live longer, and i am not
saying in one life, like you need to drink coca cola to improve your cosmic energy
you need to eat junk food, because it helps you understand how healthy you are
you need to understand buddhism, right, so if you look after yourself right, without
worrying about your past health issues, you can have a healthy future life pattern
and improve the quality of your life, you see the world will be better if people didn't obsess about weight loss, and when they get an ache they say, why is god hassling me
no, the only way for people being turned into robots, is for people to understand each
other, we still have a long way to go, my dad's next life is a girl, but i reckon she is healthy because dad was healthy cosmically, you are not healthy if you think boys are better than girls but it's good to have a joke about it, that is healthy
i am on seroquel and serenace as well as this new drug, i believe in taking prescribed drugs because it helps with the future cosmically, and force me to be very fit
they said i might need to go to hospital if i have drowsy eyes, but he has to say that, because it is his job, i find out, if i take this medication by the right dose, it'll run smoothly, and athena is the god of love and war, the war on people suffering health problems and love being the idea of helping in this field of expertise
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 3:09 AM UTC
it's cold in the gut, like
that first time you had to throw
a sea robin back, even after
the hook had reached through his
left eye. cold like the flapping
of blackfish in a bush asphyxiating,
as i have all day. if dying as a
fish were so easy, oh how i'd love
to jump from the caves of anchorage
into the pacific; how ironic, an iron
islander on your brittle coast.
sometimes the way you hold your spliff makes
milk come out the bottom and i love to
watch it dance around your bottom lip.
i can't bring myself to scan the past, the
beads falling to my cheek refuse to
move, even in my highest doses.
sleeping without you,
it's free and slow but it's also 6am.
and what do i really want? with freedom?
with comfort? forgiveness wraps her white
chiffon around my breast, heart vibrating, but
the horns on my temples take it away.
those old relics, the constant frontal pyramids,
they rip everything open without my permission
and yet they hold the fire through which i thrive.
if you were here you would say, do not
take the seroquel. i listen even in your void.
sleeping without you,
it's a crater in my back, right now i
don't want you back but —imagine!
i wail right away when i see your
frown in my third eye, where would my
anchor be and how would you find sails?
and your hair, would it darken from
missing my fingertips? and my waist,
would it harden if you did not open its
harbors? and what about our hands?
the magnets in the lines of our palms,
they will probably tie cords to each
other until a loss of frequency.
most importantly, what would the
stars think? would they form the same angles
or would the earth be forced to move backwards?
sleeping without you,
i'm so enraged, but please don't
make me do it. you are not an ocean,
you're a fjord. glacial ice irises, a
buffer for the north sea's calamities, a
singular and diverse habitat. if i could no
longer rest my head on those whisper
waves, i'd stare at my palms all day,
i'd wait until they found your lifeline.
Aug 22, 2014
Aug 22, 2014 at 5:57 AM UTC
This medication is called Trilafon or Perphenazine.
When I took it, I had the worst nightmare I've ever seen.
Life is something to be cherished.
But in December of 1996, I almost perished.
After my doctor wrote the prescription, I took the Trilafon.
If I hadn't been taken to the emergency room, I'd be gone.
Trilafon helps some people but it makes other people sick.
After taking this medication, I learned that I'm allergic.
I'd like to say it was all just a dream but it was real.
The doctors in the ICU saved me with Benadryl.
I foamed at the mouth and it felt like the Trilafon was burning out my brain.
I hope nobody else experiences this pain.
My doctor ticked me off when he wanted me to continue taking Trilafon with a side effect pill.
There was no way in Hell I'd keep taking it after being so ill.
Now I take a different medication and all is well.
It's much better to take Risperadol or Seroquel.
I was only twenty-five in 1996 and that would've been far too young to go.
If a doctor wants to prescribe you Trilafon, please say no.
Dec 8, 2017
Dec 8, 2017 at 8:35 AM UTC
Logic says to me,
"You've really gotten better!
You don't breakdown so often
You smile more."
Yeah, its the medication!
It says, "You handle things with grace
and don't fly off the handle.
You aren't so easily angered."
Yeah, its the medication!
It says, "Yeah, your emotions are foggy
but at least you aren't crazy.
I bet it's hard to feel things, but
you aren't crying all the time.
And you haven't collapsed in bed
and begged to die.
Or at least, its been a while."
Yeah, its the medication.
"Why do you have tears in your eyes
and why aren't they falling?
Does it feel like your chest is made of concrete?
Like a sneeze that hurts but it just won't happen?
Can you feel the attack waiting in the corner
leaving you with dread and adrenaline?"
Yeah, its the medication.
"Seroquel for seratonin
Buspirone to breath,
and ****** to calm down.
So what could go wrong?
Is it bad to not be able to feel
even though you know you have the right to?
And your chest feels heavy and full
like an awning with too much water
and you kind of want it to collapse
because you so badly want to remember how to cry
And the blackness you were so afraid of
seems like home
and you're homesick?"
Yeah, its the medication.
Apr 14, 2019
Apr 14, 2019 at 12:11 PM UTC
12/6/2015
*"my pill is white.
It is a splendid pearl;
it floats me out of myself.*"
Anne Sexton
a dose of one
i douse myself with cold
exposure therapy. extreme temperature.
too late
i already did that last year
smoking new ports down to the stub
in 15 degree weather,
frost bite settling in
oh well time to go back inside
and I begin to think a little too fast
one foot in front of the other
my head pulses, a cardiac muscle
on its own,
the nerves pressing my cranium
I wince,
think,
decide that that is disgusting
take three pills and
it is like being held
i almost never feel this way
entangled in a sort of woolen comfort
synthetic tenderness that
lulls me to sleep
forces me with sharp hand
to count the sheep
Dec 6, 2015
Dec 6, 2015 at 11:08 PM UTC
i have these little movements in my hand
which i don’t know why they are there, it could be my past
catching up with mr, i wish they will go
you see as i spreat my fingers out
seroquel shows you how my fingers move slowly and weirdly
i used o grab kids and i feel the movements were caused by that, you see it’s the guilt from doing that
i say i shouldn’t have done that,oh no
you see the movements are abnormal from a sudden moment in a dream, like you being punned down off a ladder
or being knocked off a bridge
or simply being punched by someone in a dream
like last night i dreamt i was given a bag of syringes
too dangerous to pick up
and i felt every syringe pricking into my body
yeah, it pointed into me, i wish it’ll go away
the movements could have been coming from the fact i liked feeling my body
waiting for an itch, I AM NOY GAY OR HOMOSEXUAL
you see instead of liking fighting my parents
i tried to say i hated it by feeling my body
i hated other people feeling me
i say, that if you have a ***** you a boy or man, so obvious
i don’t want to be treated like a little girlie
i think it could be my hand puppets like a bird and crocodile
and grub and possum like other young dudes use weird hand signals
Jan 29, 2016
Jan 29, 2016 at 5:36 AM UTC
You see I wanted to be a young dude and sit on my chair with my little mouth half open
You see I can vision people saying I hate life and they call me bud I hate that
The hooligans are trying to reach my body and they are trying to make little
But it is the medication
Cause I am not living in the past
I don't want to be turned off
I don't care if it makes me a hooligan I am a family person
Who loves life a lot
But the big fat body needs to offload the stress on his body
So I try and bring back my little young dude
It isn't really want I want
But I understand that you would
Want to protect me
I understand that you are tying to stop me pooing my pants
Or peeing my pants
And I don't care if I have to wait
For my next life to finally learn
But I am going to the toilet
But I don't want to drink wee
I don't want to get teased
By people who used to like me
But now hate me because they can't get their faces out of my past
You see I used to like pat more than Lyle
And I was and am a nice person
Who loves life
People say I sound gay
But I am not gay
I am as straight as a knife
A knife I tells ya
You see I don't want to get killed by psychos who are having problems
I understand why you need to protect me by making me a little young dude
Hey dude don't take a long road
And makes you suffer more than anyone else
You see I can live forever like a Buddhist
I am not a little yeah Nate yeah kid
I am a Buddhist
I know all I can about Buddhism
To believe that it is true you come back and that is the truth
You see people std trying to bring my little shy kid back
But I have killed him off out of my body
You see the only thing that
Is going to bring my fucken shy kid back is people who want to protect me like I partied in nite clubs
I danced to bands in clubs
I went away with people in sports
I walked up mountains
In shoes and thongs too
I have voices of people trying to
Bring back my shy kid because
They are scared of what will happen to me if they found out it was me is that him, mate
I have been everywhere man
I have been Gold Coast south coast Adelaide Melbourne Hobart Newcastle Kosciusko
Tumut Sydney Hervey Bay
And broken hill travelling on the Indian pacific and off to kangaroo island great ocean road and Grampians
I have been to Dubbo zoo Dubbo gaol Merimbula where I partied on New Year's Eve
And the people thought I was cool yeah I partied at uni of Canberra and Ainslie and southern cross club
But the medication is stopping me in my tracks dude
I have been everywhere
Sep 20, 2016
Sep 20, 2016 at 3:26 AM UTC
The Bible has some interesting characters.
We can see in stanzas and rhymes
How they might have received some help
If they'd been living in modern times.
Lot, for example, had a drinking problem.
The man got drunk and slept with his daughter.
Actually with two! Advice to Lot:
Go to A.A. and stick with water.
An inferiority complex
Must have driven the angry Cain.
No matter what he did, he always
Seemed to incur God's disdain.
In searching for pairs of all animals on earth,
Noah's compulsion crossed the border
Of what today we would call
An obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.
Saul had to be extremely bipolar.
Talk about mood swings! On different occasions
He tried to **** David, who luckily escaped
By the skin of his teeth and with no abrasions.
If someone--like Solomon--had seven hundred wives
And three hundred concubines, we'd tend to say
That he had a number of serious issues,
But we don't want to go there today.
Moses talked to a burning bush,
Samuel and Elijah heard voices that told them
What to do. Now we’d say they
Were schizophrenic if voices controlled them.
Harod was really into himself;
He had to be highly narcissistic.
When Paul was persecuting the Christians,
His behavior was rather sadistic.
Without A.A. or psychiatrists,
Or drugs like Prozac, Zoloft, thorazine,
****** Haldol, Abilify, Lithium,
Seroquel, Xanax, Paxil, and clozapine,
Our Biblical characters were on their own--
To fend for themselves to carry out their mission,
Without medical insurance and someone
To say, "Get thee to a physician!"
- by Bob B
Nov 5, 2016
Nov 5, 2016 at 8:26 AM UTC
I'm not afraid of the dark anymore and it could be because of this heavy medication or it could be the way the trees look like the most beautiful people I know and they shake and they droop like the way you do when you're alone with me and they tell me secrets like you did that night when I stayed to make sure you'd be okay and you survived that night because I held you and I've never felt so important as I do when you say you need me I've never felt so glad that the quivering willows remind me of her too long fingers and they graze the ground like they once did to my face I've never known that a tree full of leaves could be as wonderful as the spindly bones of bark in winter that remind me of the hollowness I've known until I felt the strength of your torso keeping me from stumbling to the ground and doing the no good messy thing that trees are incapable of. And I'm not afraid of the dark anymore because I have a purpose.
Dec 4, 2015
Dec 4, 2015 at 7:01 PM UTC
she numbs the smell of cigarettes
with bleach and tears
and she tells me that she doesn't know why
she cries at night
but i know that there's something
that hides behind the light
as her shaking hand reaches out
to flip the switch
i know that she is scared
i ask her what she is thinking
and her lips freeze in an o
and she tells me she's uncomfortable
and that her thoughts are made of nightmares
and codeine mixed with seroquel
and blood on her favorite t-shirt
and she's too scared to tell me
why
her lips are chapped and peeling
her eyes are screaming
so loud that
i can hear it ringing in my ears
and she asks if i can hear them singing too
anjelica says she likes to play games
and she tells me we can have fun
but where is the fun
when she's always just about to run
she asks me to dance
dance
and i realize she never had any chance
to save herself
and my mind says how i should have saved her
i see her in my dreams
and i don't see the cherry tree
along the cobblestone walkway anymore
rather i see dead roses
scattered across a dirt path
and the roses are painted with blood
anjelica screams my name
she asks if i still write about her
she asks if i still love her
she begs to know if i still know her
she tells me she stopped loving me
she tells me she never knew herself
she tells me she tears my poetry because it is
too real
and i realize my dear anjelica
is not
real
she is a thorn i would
bury into my own chest
so that she is near my heart
she smells like cigarettes and bleach
there are tears that stain her cheeks
and mascara that runs down her face
what's wrong with me
i hear her say
and i would love
to tell her that
she is perfection
in the form of a mortal
but i say nothing
and she says nothing
and i can feel the silence
weighing on my head
and it weighs her hair back into curls
and my mind shouts
to know why we do
nothing
i beg the world for something
she tells me she is not alive
and i realize once again
she is not real
anjelica will forever fill my poetry
but anjelica does not
speak
she does not speak to me
unless she needs
more air to breathe
she does not speak to me
she looks at my eyes
with her burning eyes
and we create a new language
that neither of us know
she says she is okay
and she is not okay
she is broken like a lamp
that has fallen off a building that touches the sky
she is not real
anjelica exists only
in my poetry
but she consumes my thoughts
with her charred lungs.
Apr 27, 2017
Apr 27, 2017 at 6:44 PM UTC
I smashed my glass of water all over the cat and I saw a creature to small to be a rat
I am listening to Christmas in Vienna from 2015
It is cool and rad
Please don't stop it continuing
Into other years
My voices are trying to het me to buy a big bottle of flavoured milk and a few chocolates and popcorn as well
I know if I threw my things over the bslcony
I will go to the psych ward
Be placed on an order
And my life will turn upside down
You see my voices are trying
To stop me contacting my late father's spirit and as I see his reincarnation doing a dance from FROZEN
You see I want to contact his spirit to say to him
I am exercising to bring my weight down
You see seroquel makes me hype right up
And with junk food it can bring you down
You see I need to even the flow
To keep me out of the psych ward horrible place
Please god bring the earth dome peace
Nov 28, 2016
Nov 28, 2016 at 5:46 AM UTC