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Jack Torrance Apr 2018
I thought,
that I've been hurt before,
but no one's ever,
left me quite this sore.

Your words cut deeper,
than a knife.
Now I need someone,
to breathe me back to life.

Got a feeling that I'm going under,
but I know that I'll make it out alive.
If I quit calling you my lover,
move on.

You watch me,
bleed until I can't breathe.
I'm shaking,
falling onto my knees,
and now that I'm without your kisses
I'll be needing stitches.

I'm tripping over myself,
arching, begging you to come help,
and now that I'm without your kisses,
I'll be needing stitches.

Just like a moth,
drawn to a flame.
Oh you lured me in,
I couldn't sense the pain.

Your bitter heart cold to the touch,
now I'm gonna reap what I sow.
I'm left seeing red on my own.

Got a feeling that I'm going under,
but I know that I'll make it out alive.
If I quit calling you my lover,
Move on.

You watch me,
bleed until I can't breathe.
I'm shaking,
falling onto my knees.

And now that I'm without your kisses
I'll be needing stitches.

I'm tripping over myself,
Aching,
begging you to come help.
And now that I'm without your kisses,
I'll be needing stitches.

Needle and the thread,
gotta get you out of my head,
needle and the thread,
ginna wind up dead.

Needle and the thread,
gotta get you out of my head,
needle and the thread,
gonna wind up dead.

Needle and the thread,
gotta get you out of my head,
needle and the thread,
gonna wind up dead.

Needle and the thread,
gotta get you out of my head, get you out of my head.

You watch me,
bleed until I can't breathe.
I'm shaking,
falling onto my knees (falling on my knees).

And now that,
I'm without your kisses,
I'll be needing stitches (and I'll be needing stitches)
I'm tripping over myself
Aching begging you to come help (begging baby please)
And now that I'm without your kisses
I'll be needing stitches
And now that I'm without your kisses
I'll be needing stitches
And now that I'm without your kisses
I'll be needing stitches
Lyrics from Shawn Mendes - Stitches
Jack Torrance Apr 2018
Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
but I just can't.

It isn't in my blood.

Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing.
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something,
I could take to ease my mind slowly.

Just have a drink and you'll feel better.
Just take her home and you'll feel better.
Keep telling me that it gets better.

Does it ever?

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
no medicine is strong enough,
someone help me.

I'm crawling in my skin.
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
but I just can't.

It isn't in my blood.

It isn't in my blood.

I'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious.
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this.
I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh.

Is there somebody who could Help me?
It’s like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
no medicine is strong enough.

Someone help me.

I'm crawling in my skin.
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
but I just can't.

It isn't in my blood.

It isn't in my blood.

I need somebody now,
I need somebody now.
Someone to help me out,
I need somebody now.

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
but I just can't.

It isn't in my blood,
It isn't in my blood,
It isn't in my blood.

I need somebody now,
It isn't in my blood.
I need somebody now.



It isn't in my blood.
Lyrics from the song In my blood, by Shawn Mendes.
Alizay Jul 2019
Admirable, Blissful, Bewildered, Curious, Capable, Compassionate, Determined, Daring, Delighted, Dazzling, Eagar, Edgy, Enlightening Enthusiastic, Elegant, Fabulous, Fantastic, Forgiving, Fictitious, Fancy, Feminist, Glamourous, Gorgeous, Glowing, Guarded, Greatful, Generous, Gloomy, Happy, Honest, Hopeful, Humourous, Humble, Humane, Heartiest, Heavenly, Imaginative, Interesting, Inspiring, Intellegent, Incredible, Impressive, Important, Indecisive, Invisible, Jinxed, Joyous, Judicious, Justified, Jobless, Jiggish, Jimp, Jittery, Jazzy, Jaunty, Kindhearted, Keen, Knowledgable, Kiddish, Knavish, Knockout, Kempt, Kween, Kin, Kittens, Kinder, Lazy, Luxurious, Lively, Loyal, Limit, Laminated, Lawless, Lightning, Lushious, Luminous, Lovesick, Logical, Modest, Marvelous, Motivated, Music, Momentous, Mindful, Magical, Memories, Merciful, Mellow, Mesmerizing, Malicious, Mannered, Noble, Nervous, Night, Naive, Noted, Natural, Nifty, Nurturing, Never-ending, Noteworthy, Neglected, Narnia, Native, Number 1, ***, Openhearted, O Canada, Obviously, Obidient, Obsessions, Open-minded, Oriented, O.K., Observing, OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD, Omnicient, Outshining, Obliged, Obsticles, Passionate, Personally, Poetry, Picture-Perfect, Positivity, Pulse, Painful, Physic, Power, Protagnist, People-Person, Pros, and Cons, Purity, Purpose, Pleasant, Pieces, Quiet, Quality, Quick, Quoted, Queen, Quirky, Quintessentially, Quest, Quick-Minded, Questionable, Quarter, Quiver, Quiddity, Quiescent, Qui vive, Quip, Quantity, Ravishing, Rapport, Reliving, Reassuring, Rebal, Rainbows, Reckless, Relaxing, Respect, Remedy, Regrets, Right, Relatable, Reliable, Rad, Ready, Responsible, Rainy days, Sagacious, Salutary, Sassy, Secure, Self-assured, Self-reliant, Self-confident, Self-disciplined, Selfless, Sensational, Sensitive, Stars, Shawn Mendes, Sénorita, Sentimental, Set, Serene, Seamless, Significant, Sightly, Trustworthy, Talented, Tender-hearted, Thriving, Thankful, Titanic, Touché, Touchy, Transparent, True, True-blue, Traveller, Transpicuous, Titillating, Timeless,Tidy, Teasing, Tender, Terrific, Thorough, Thrilling, Unarguable, Ultimate, Undefining, Under-the-weather, Unalloyed, Unassuming, Uncommon, Understandable, Undivided, Unique, Unlimited, Unstoppable, Uplifting, Upbeat, Uber, Unconvensional, Uhuh, Unbelieveable, Under control, Unquestionable, Utter amazment, Valiant, Valuable, Valid, Veridical, Valiant, Vibrant, Vigorous, Vigilant, Victorious, Visions, Vivid, Voluptuous, Vulnerary, Vulnerable, Venust, Veracious, Vestal, Violen, Vroom Vroom, Victory, Vows, Wake me up, Wise, Welsome, Well-behaved, Welcoming, Well-grounded, Woke, Whimsical, Whistler, Wholesome, Wired, Witty, Wondrous, Whilst, Winter, Wonderful, Wide-Awake, Walk it like I take it, ****-bang, Wishful, Wellness, Worth it, World-Class, Xo, Yolo, Zero
Any feedback? go for it
Alexander K Opicho
(Eldoret, Kenya;aopicho@yahoo.com)



I have been reading the old copy of Saturday Nation, a week end edition of the daily nation in Kenya. It was published some weeks ago. It has some enticing feature stories that have made me to reflect on a certain family value in Africa. The three feature stories I have been reading are ; Lupita Nyong’o stellar performance in the movie, 12 years a slave, in which she emerged a top American actor, attracting in the same course the most coveted Oscar prize, I have also read in the same paper the shooting literature star of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, an American based Nigerian writress, who had had her last book Americana win the American Booker Prize, and lastly , I have also ready  a very captivating account of Wanjiku wa Ngugi’s spellbinding debutante in her book, the fall of saints. Wanjiku account was written by Proffessor Evans Mwangi a Thiong’o literary scholar based in Newyork. Mwangi being a Ngugi wa Thiongi’o, scholar wrote this article because Wanjiku wa Ngugi is also a daughter to the world famous Kenyan novelist, Ngugi Njogu wa Thiongi’o.
In each of the three above cases, emanates a significant observation that the fathers to the respective ladies are great men in their respective capacity, and that the ladies mentioned are now obvious heirs to the family names, family intellectual domain and family selling point respectively.
Lupita is heir to proffessor Peter Anyang Nyong’o, Adichie is an heir to the African literary heritage of proffessor Chinua Achebe, and While Wanjiku is a promising successor to Proffessor Thiongi’o.
These are actually a crystallization of strange unfolding that time has now challenged old mindset among African societies. The mindset in which Africans have not been counting girls as children .This family value has been there up to today. If an African man tells you that I don’t have a family it means that he is expressing three connotations; he is not married, he is married but he does not have a children, or he is married but his wife have only been bearing him girls, because if anything; an African man is only responsible for siring sons, daughters are a mistake of the wife.
This typology of family civilization got to its peak in the mid of  last year, when the Luo council of elders, hailing from Siaya County of Kenya, where Baraka Obama is rooted, expressed their open puzzle over Baraka Obama as per why he can’t take his time to have sons. They are now organizing a delegation that will go to America to counsel President Obama over the matter that he needs to re-organize his posterity strategy other than thinking in terms of Sasha and Malia.
What I mean is that Africans don’t believe if at all family interests can be carried forward through a daughter. They don’t believe if a girl can be an intellectual or command any wisdom that can go places. But realities from a historical experience that great African men don’t sire great sons but instead they sire great daughters must make this society of male chauvinists to have a mental paradigm shift in relation to child valuation and recognition. To accept a social déjàvu that daughters have a big capacity to carry forward the family name than the previously mistaken notion that they are only sons who can do this.
Facts on the ground range from the case of Julius Nyerere,Kwameh Nkrumah, Malcolm X, Frantz Fanon, Richard Wright, Tom Mboya, Masinde Muliro, Nelson Mandela, Mutula Kilonzo, and Francis Imbuga just to mention a few African heroes. Justification of this list showing Africa’s reversal of Prospero complex abodes in the facts that; Susan Nyerere is currently the most outspoken in the Nyerere family. Similarly, Nkrumah’s daughter is currently a politician in Ghanaian parliament and very promising politically. Betty Shabazz X was recently reported to have put Louis Farrakhan on the spot over the ****** plot of her father the late Malcolm X.Mireille Fanon Mendes is the director of human rights activist organization known as Frantz Fanon foundation. This is the organization which recently recognized Mumia Abu-Jamal with a prestigious prize. Mumia Abu-Jamal is an African-American writer and journalist, author of six human rights focussed books and hundreds of similar spirited columns and articles. He has spent the last three decades on racially biased Pennsylvania’s death row. And now general population in America and in the world knows that Mumia Abu-Jamal was wrongfully convicted and sentenced for the ****** of Philadelphia Police man, Daniel Faulkner. His demand for a neutral trial and unconditional freedom is enmassely supported by heads of state, Nobel laureates, human rights organizations, scholars, religious leaders, artists and bioethical scientists. All this is nothing other than universal singing of the tune in the poetic writings of Frantz Omar Fanon entitled Facts of blackness, through his daughter Mireille.
And equally enough, those of you who have delved into posthumous family conditions of Richard Wright must have appreciated stellar performance of proffessor Julia Wright in respect to the genetic legacy of her father. Dr. Susan Mboya is currently living in South Africa and she is serving the society in the same tandem her late father Tom Mboya discharged anti-colonial service to the people of Kenya, Africa and world in general.Masinde Muliro has Mrs. Namwalie Muliro and Mutula Kilonzo has Kethi Kilonzo. The point is that, just like all of other heroes in Africa, these two great politicians have their daughters; Namwalie and Kethi as the heirs to their political legacy.
This phenomenon is not unique to Africa. But it is a universal genetic condition. The study of genetics has a concept that inferior genes of the mother are passed through an X chromosomes in XY to the sons, while superior genes of the father are passed through an X chromosome of the ** to the daughters.
Just but to wind up my story I want also to counsel The Luo council of elders that president Obama, their son who lives in America does not have misplaced values in projecting his posterity through Sasia and Malia. Personally I am aware that as per now there is no any African boy at age of Sasha Obama that has ever read Yann Martel’s Life of Mr. Pi. But in stark contrast the international media reported Sasha Obama to have vividly read this book until she commented to Baraka Obama that, ‘daddy, this is a very good book’.  And of course this is how an intellectual is made.
kiran goswami Dec 2018
" I  can treat you better, than he can "
I sang in front of her.

Thanks to Shawn Mendes,
I proposed her without feeling embarrassed.
judy smith Dec 2015
Aside from New Year’s Eve specials, it’s a lean week for original programming. Still, there are a few stand-out offerings. Here’s what caught my eye on television this week:

Sunday: “Undercover Boss” 7 p.m., CBS: Yeah, it’s just a reality program, but it’s one of the only new network offerings tonight, so we’ll take it.

Monday: “Happy New Year, Charlie Brown” 7 p.m., ABC: The ol’ blockhead hunkers down with some choice Tolstoy during these Peanuts’ festivities.

“******: Cape Cod, USA” 8 p.m., HBO: This documentary explores the grip of addiction through the stories of eight twenty-somethings.

Tuesday: “The 38th Annual Kennedy Center Honors” 8 p.m., CBS: Host Stephen Colbert pays tribute to Carole King, George Lucas, Rita Moreno, Cicely Tyson and Seiji Ozawa; James Taylor, Janelle Monáe, Yo-Yo Ma and others perform.

“Almost Genius” 9 p.m., truTV: This new reality comedy series looks at folks who fall just short of their goals. They should be knocking on my door any day now.

Wednesday: “The Twilight Zone” 6 p.m., Syfy: The annual marathon features 156 episodes of the acclaimed anthology series and ends on Jan. 3.

“In Defense of Food” 8 p.m., PBS: Michael Pollan trots the globe in search of people who eat for health.

Thursday: “The Simpsons Movie” and New Year’s marathon, 5 p.m., FXX: The animated motion picture kicks off a back-to-back showing of 56 episodes.7 p.m.

“**** Clark’s Primetime New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest 2016” 7 p.m., ABC: Whew! That title was so long that it’s almost 2017. The special breaks for local news and resumes at 10:30 p.m.

“Pitbull’s New Year’s Revolution, Part 1” 7 p.m., Fox: Jussie Smollett, Shawn Mendes and others help the performer ring in 2016 from Miami.

“Live from Lincoln Center” 7 p.m., PBS: Alan Gilbert leads the New York Philharmonic in a Parisian-themed New Year’s Eve special.

“NBC’s New Year’s Eve Game Night With Andy Cohen” 9 p.m., NBC: The Bravo star hijacks the prime time portion of Carson Daly’s annual holiday event.

“NBC’s New Year’s Eve With Carson Daly” 10:30 p.m., NBC: And again, Daly is relegated to late night.

Friday: “Sherlock on Masterpiece” 8 p.m., PBS: It’s practically the only non-rerun programming on tonight, but it’s really the only programming you need. The special finds Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman’s Holmes and Watson solving a case in 1895 London.

Saturday: “Galavant” 7 p.m., ABC: Four episodes of last season’s surprise hit musical comedy air back-to-back-to-back-to-back.

“Austin City Limits” 7 p.m., PBS: Alabama Shakes and Vintage Trouble perform.

read more:www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses

www.marieaustralia.com/short-formal-dresses
judy smith Feb 2016
With winter and awards shows upon us, the celebrity-obsessed wonder, "What are they wearing?" When it's fur, you wonder, "Why are they wearing it?"

Fur makes the shapeliest star look like a pudgy cave-dweller. Kim and Kanye become dumpy mall rats when they pile on the pelts. The matter of animals by the dozen being electrocuted for a single coat is of no interest to the self-absorbed duo.

Fortunately, the most admired and articulate personalities are speaking out. After winning a Golden Globe last month, Taraji P. Henson said, "I love clothes and to dress up, but no fur. Stella McCartney laced me with all these incredible faux furs." Taraji's ex-con character Cookie on Empire may have a fur fetish, but Taraji ditched the fur from her closets after seeing raccoon dogs skinned alive for fashion in a PETA documentary on HBO. She then ditched all of her clothes to star in a "Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" ad, which she unveiled at PETA's Fashion Week party with fellow animal advocate Tim Gunn.

Another dynamo who removed the unsightly hair from her back — I'm talking about fur — is the fabulous Wendy Williams. In addition to her daily talk show, Williams now hosts Wendy's Style Squad to cover red carpet fashions. "Fur is not the mark of success anymore," she said at the photo shoot for her PETA campaign, which she unveiled live on her show.

Sia led the charge this winter, with this imaginative computer-generated spot in which animal models strut down the catwalk in human skin.

And then there's Pink. "I would like to say I've always been fur-free so I could be proud of myself," says the pop icon. "Unfortunately, I went through a selfish phase and wore fur on a couple of occasions. But I wised up and now boycott fur completely. I wish everyone was forced to learn the horrors that these animals go through for fashion trends. I hope fur wearers get bitten in the *** by the same kind of animal they wear on their back." She took this message to the masses on a PETA billboard in New York's Times Square and stars with Ricky Gervais in avideo about fur and exotic skins.

Who else is fur-free? Lena Dunham, Rooney Mara, Jessica Chastain, Angelina Jolie, Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron, and Natalie Portman, to name only a few.

Sharon Osbourne, who won a People's Choice Award last month for The Talk, says, "The reasons I stopped wearing fur were because I was educating myself through documentaries on what goes into actually making these fur coats and fur scarves that I was wearing, and when I realized how it was done I was sickened." Sharon hosts PETA's newest video showing how hundreds of chinchillas have their necks snapped for just one fur coat.

Many of you may be thinking, OK — gross — but I don't wear fur. Terrific! I'll end by suggesting you take another evolutionary step by visiting PETA.org to watch Joaquin Phoenix, Eva Mendes, and Pamela Anderson reveal how less-furry animals live and die before ending up in someone's closet.Read more at:www.marieaustralia.com/bridesmaid-dresses | www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses-2015
lu Mar 2018
it's four in the morning,
and i'm thinking of you.
the song we used to listen to when we were on the phone is playing.
the words blast through my headphones,
but all i hear is your laugh.
when you'd laugh at me for choking up.

"sorry, shawn mendes always makes me sad."

it's four in the morning
and i'm missing you arms around me.
you only held me once, but it was for a few hours.
we were at your hotel after your stupid show.
the first and last one i went to.
i told you that you should go meet your fans,
but you shook your head.

"i want to hold you."

"why?"

"what if i never see you again?"

i almost laughed at you.
how you thought i'd never see you again.

but over a year later, here i am.

it's four in the morning
and i miss you more than ever.
i see you on tv all the time
and i miss your face like hell.
Michael Marro Feb 2020
Then She Appeared
                                                                 (XTC)          
In a Lonely Place
                                           (The Smithereens)          
Holding Out for a Hero
                                                  (Bonnie Tyler)          
Heartbreak Girl
                                   (5 Seconds of Summer)        
I Will Follow You        
                                                           (RIVVRS)  
      
Talk to Me            
                                                   (Stevie Nicks)
Say You Like Me  
                                                 (We the Kings)
See A Little Light      
                                                     (Bob Mould)
Wherever We Are  
                                                     (Oh Gravity)
(I’ll) Take You Home
                                                    (Scars on 45)

Come to Me
                                                (Goo Goo Dolls)          
(I) Miss You Like Hell
                                                           (Nightly)          
(I Know I Can) Treat You Better
                                              (Shawn Mendes)          
(In a) New Light
                                                    (John Mayer)          
Unity
                                                     (Shinedown)          

Eyes on You  
                                                 (Kings of Leon)
Crazy Beautiful
                                             (Andy Grammer)
Something Good Can Work
                                      (2 Door Cinema Club)
Swimming in the Moonlight
                                                         (Bad Suns)
Overjoyed
                                         (Matchbox Twenty)
A "playlist poetry" challenge.
I just hope she gets to listen to it someday.
🕊+❤
Destiny left me on the road
As the day invite the night
And night raised the day
My heart's too tired to go on
I let myself to listen to shawn(mendes songs)
That who'll be awake til the dawn
Sun shows openly itself
But I'm finding a side to hide myself
This reminds me to repeat maybe
To tell don't take hard, hey you crazy
Mateuš Conrad May 2020
it's become truly: self-evident...
why i haven't been able to write as i once did...
it's hardly a hiatus - or a writer's block...
it could be any of the cheap-thrills
of custard-brain and fudge-thinking...

but... i'm more or less... celebrating...
   a celebration: me celebrating:
me having to recalibrate lost details
of... the persuasive life:
it doesn't matter how little you do...
as long as the little that you do:
is the good...
              for example:
i'm not a big fan of self-help books...
jordan b. peterson
is hardly the sort of psychological
literature i'd venture to find...
r. d. laing: the divided self...
william james...
    jung: western man in search for
soul...
   julian jaynes: the origin of consciousness
in the breakdown of the bicemeral mind...
the anatomy of madness ed.
by w. f. bynum, roy porter and michael
shepherd - tavistock publications:
1985 first edition: cheap... at teasing
30 quid...

  rule 12: pet a cat... when you see one...
sorry... that can't be a rule...
oh today... today was just one of those...
american beauty: sam mendes is dead
sort of days...
  the air was cool in the evening...
it still felt like spring...
and i was walking back with a bottle
of scotch and some pepsi cola grenades...
and this ginger and white did
dance with me...
in view of traffic... clockwise: decently
understand in english terms...
but then he changed "lane" on
the pavement... so i changed...
then he changed... "lane" and i did too...
and we met up at a point when
he knew the "stalker" and i knew my:
forgot to bring a leash...
just my smelly fingers from...
just having roasted some pork ****
on the barbie (bbq) to a proper...
tender and juicy...
            yeah... i "petted" the cat...
more like: ****** felt it was necessary
to make me... obliged... to pet him-her...
mouth agape: snorkling / purring...
tease of the nose... grap of the tail...
stroke of the spine... sniff of my fingers...
but... rules for life...
                        it's not a given...
to pet a cat...
                  it can't be made into a command
that you should: when... chances are...
you won't be able to... not every cat
is a gambling addict: gambling on...
universal trust...

           i guess i felt right and the cat knew it...
i have two alternative rules...
but they would be deemed heresy...
one about attempting to pet a fox...
and a one about... sticking your hand
in front of a rabid dog let loose off his leash
chasing a more tame: yorkshire terrier
cowering under the bench i was sitting on
drinking beer...
with the free hand holding the terrier's
collar... and outstretching my hand
for the rabid dog to attempt to bite...
two conflicting parties came...
the owners of the yorkshire terrier...
thanking me for keeping the poor shuckles
in safety... a girl and a boy... zenith: 12...
18 for the both of them...
and the owners of the rabid tongue...
an almost feral family...
       i still have my arm and...
                       so sorry from the mother...
and her daughter...
with a straw in her mouth...
going to strut along like some illuminated
buddha: so... that's how you do it?
yeah... if it's not a hand on the iron...
or into the fire...
chances are... hand into ice...
or... between the affair of two dogs...
outstretched hand and a choice of 5 sausages
to bite off...
i don't like to gamble... unless it's with
my limbs...
or my life...
                  i enjoy money for the authenticity
of a transacation...
prostitutes in a brothel...
supermarket cashiers: the whiskey...
  i will pretend to not have...
when i buy a jazz vinyl...
      i wouldn't pay for...
people go to restaurants to talk... hardly places
to eat...
   well... good! i like to cook my own
food... and i don't like to talk
when eating it...
                     i like to know i have my hands
cleaned and the food is also readied
for cooking: clean...
i have a distrust for restaurants...
and for people... who'd want to talk
******* when they should be eating...
sorry: simon says olvier wants more...
plus... all those riddles of... complaints...
when someone paid to cook...
can't get a well-done or a decently rare:
bleu stake out...
                           what's the point?
a look of dis-satisfaction works so much
better: when it's no worded: Karen towing...
via... ******* a lemon and doing
the cooking yourself...
not that... shopping will open any time soon...
new clothes?
   for clothes you'd require to have arenas
to be seen in them...
yeah...             slow burner...
chew and choke on coal before you see
         a bonfire from that cul de sac of events!

     - it's a... william styron account in reverse...
well... he noted: he only wrote when sober...
or having a hangover...
and he reserved drinking to listening to music...
and then... melancholy creeped up on him...
romance of melancholy: depression...
michel de montaigne would tell more...
probably cite you a horace or an ovid...
while he was in a slump...
and if: the gods would provide...
snap his fingers and his quill... and spark
a joke of crown prince of terse:
a dead-end of rhetoric: a ridicule...

       a one most prized... self-deprecating
ridicule of the whole situation:
or none of it...
   to have quit smoking...
      i don't want to write because...
               i have quit smoking...
to have quit: yeah... when you see the remnants
of former you: smoking while walking...
smoking when waiting for a bus
at a bus stop...
   smoking when standing outside of a pub...
smoking when you might as well have been
eating a carrot: or a stalk of celery...
or chewing a gum...

whatever happened in the 20th century
for the benefit of man and the intellect of man...
and... what has become:
most probably... very ****** ***...
            nothing new: very ****** ***...
no ***: is better than: very ****** ***...
              the  neu-nein-neu regel...
  interlude between... shaking a glass:
look of inquiry: refill...
         and... jumping backwards and forwards...
the illusion of deviating from
the cold definition of a transaction...
   the pomp and circumstance...
              your house... your car...
your x, y, & z... the brothel... her pepsi...
your whiskey... no one's bed...
   the... love this part...
gloating of the winning parties that came
out of world war II...
gloating... israel is established:
peace in the middle east...
              the gloating of the winning parties:
communism bad... capitalism good...
the soviets launch a robot probe
that lands on mars...
all bad... the yin and yang and... now...
capitalism has to... cannibalise itself...
    fun times: pretending the competing side
to be wrong... when the competing side...
can also... out-compete you in scientific
and technological ventures... fun ******* times!
we have: zee bomb! shitz! they'z 'ave zee bombz twoz!
fun times... cornflake march
at the crack of dawn!

oh yeah... that 12th rule for life... really helps...
written by someone who...
well some cats will allow you to pet them...
some will shun you...
get over the rejection... treat them like ****
or... objectively... not as a photographer's
******* in visual media arts college:
the "subject"...
        
           even with this: i don't feel like writing...
or giving fictional credentials to the story...
i'm finally freeing myself from
a... 13 year old addiction...
      and come to think of it...
                  it wasn't so much an addiction...
as... a circumstance of obliterated willing:
or... un-willingness... the dimension of choice...
choice being: either the global curfew is
lifted and i'll get the usual cheap trickle of
moldovian cigarettes...
or... i'll cough up... the price in england...
which is... blackmail...

             no wonder i don't feel like writing:
maybe i should draw a schematic of hand
placement before the altar of the keyboard
so that... you're not looking down when typing?

ha ha! pet a cat when you see one...
because... all of a sudden...
see... that's a strange scenario:
what sort of a half-bred human do you
have to be... to conjure up...
a stray cat? how boring do you have to be?
stray dogs? i've seen how it's done...
a guy ties a dog to a park fence...
***** off...
   someone the dog escapes being tied...
joins a dingo pack and sleeping beauty: the end...
how ****** up do you have
to be... to... issue concerns for a stray
cat?
         it's like: the mind of the solipsist
never... bothered you?
the cat probably thought:
i be the solipsist and wander: **** knows
where...
than deal with this cookie-milk and sickly
sweet sort of *******...
solipsism i can heave...
i know of the hippocratic oath...
there's no sisyphean contract obliging me
to stay with this "camouflage" of mundane...
you'd be susprised:
cats tend to sleep... when and where
life happens...
a stray cat? is probably a cat with insomnia:
because: there was a "when" and a "where"
that supposed itself to be inclined
with all the geometry of dasein...

the lived life is better than voyeurism:
or a leeching off of life...
           that's also **** without *****
envy and: should i be jerking off...
to... photographs of people being tortured?
the ****** contortions of being skinned...
or being ****** like a duracel ****-it-****-it-****-it
bunny?
you tell me...
from ***** envy i came away with...
beard envy... mmm.... choke on this giggle i will...
b'lahahahahahaha!

  it's good being a man and growing old...
i'll know when to turn into a tree or a tombstone...
lucky for me i already know what it is
to become a genocidial maniac armed
with *******... a toilet + flush... a still brain-riddle
    (photoraphy of a blink... movies? no go zone
of stockholm)
of peaches... cow ******* and the anatomy
of a woman... the mermaid and the ***** ****
and the b.j. but otherwise the avenue of ovaries...
and salmon godheads with all our
children being named: bubbles and bob...
oh i do wish there was a *** life for me...
that invited me to the... to that other playground
of latex... and... the better sort of games...
past the music and the movies...
from scratch... the sandpit goldmines...
the... hidden bedrooms with bloated
barbie and ken's anatomy classes...
she's in her tattoos and i'm donning
my latex...

       now her ***** is my... one cigarette:
when there were 20 to begin with...
for the day...
              to smoke... when waiting for a bus...
at a bus-stop...
to smoke... at a bar... to smoke... on a bus...
i'd love to revise smoking marihuana while
drinking... but... i don't have the luxury
of the 2 hours it would take to reach
the nadir LD50 and the zenith of ecstasy...
of imitation ****** *****...
  no point seeking Parsifal and the glory
of objectivity when... any drugs or ***** are
concerned... so much for the objectivity
of the argument: the persuasion...
the persuasion is already lost...
to the argument for the subjectivity
of the "individuated" / placebo solipsism
of the solo- / dodo-project encounter...

i quiet like... schizophrenia... a word...
a metaphor... when it isn't a true scenario of...
low i.q. premature dementia...
when one is... misdiagnosed with it...
psychosis osmosis... i like that phrase too...
i asked to be: left the **** alone...
lucky for me... i'm the new age
cindarella ****** with a glass stilleto and
a kiss of judas to boot!
i may... oh: have the looks...
clue: what's a schizophrenic and also
    napoleonic hydra?
            my style of quizzing...  (9)
b-i-l-i-n-g-u-a-l...
           does schizophrenia exist...
           within a bilingual dynamic?
            no... out of curiosity... just asking...
perhaps i'm a case of the quadratic?
                 is there a known case of a bilingual
schizophrenic?! a quadratic?

well yeah... while those solid *****
over at mini-apple WHY-WAY...
charlize theron: gwoo YA novella wake me
up when september comes
and there's an iraqi farm of...
infidel pigs... blah blah...

riots happened whole i was... concerning
myself with... the "ad hominem" of...
gary glitter versus roxy music...
for the sole focus of a single song...
rock & and roll (part 1 und susie: deux)...

****... giggles... i'm even sporting the vogue
details... shorts... slippers...
day-two-ago smelly socks... a lebowski
robe...
   the day can seriously... happen all and freed
of me... even the cricket!
hell... i'll boycott drinking tea:
just in case the cricket players run out
of it!
always the best alternatives!

this is... best... oink oink: equpped with:
schadenfreude convening with
ridicule sort of jokes...
send in the orcs! no... SEND IN THE MONGOLS!
lest we forget about the middle-ages
framing of a looting of Baghdad!
SEND IN THE MONGOLS!

               or send those wheelz and tire-tracks
to... that humane... fifth assumption...
when capitalism had it so good:
two: towing each silly...
ideologies...
two: the germs and the slaves...
the day: when... ha-ha-h'america
rediscovered europe...
pretntious *******...
they're not native h'americans...
but they're still: dutch: all quizzical...

   capitalism never had it so good...
so much for the lost arts of breathing false...
when the slavs had communism and now...
if only mongolia was in the news...

SEND IN THE MONGOLS!
where are the mongols?
  not in dover... for sure...
             nugget of (the) ukraine...
known as crimea...
their capital: Sicz...
          and Siecz...
   "too many" consonants...
the Z is replaced with a H...
cheap: ****...
       чeap: шit..
                 "too many"...
                "consonants"...
oh i see how competing with communism
was always...
your... "thing"...
beside... exporting the capitalistic:
saves moneyz builds hou-hou-sez...
  and they do! somehow!
           but this... summons before
the court of the egregious...
             the fire... the cold-cod-blaster
events of: indiscrimenate... solace
of eventually tier upon tier...
lots of looted attributes...

glam rock: to see it... rather than merely hear it...
that was the prime concern...
glam rock is tamed punk...
glitter... roxy music...
                                 t-rex... bowie...
one song of glitter: is enough for me to forget
anything by roxy music...
t-rex... harder to confine: reproach...
and bozzo bowie remains:
intact: dulwich... born...
                                    brixton...
glitter was: but not when you hear it...
you need to see: glam rock...
to "know" you're listening to
glam rock... overwise...
tamed punk... trans-gender schizoid:
mohawks...
or... that one time when...
john wayne won an oscar for playing...
a one-eyed... drunkard
bounty-hunter...
when... the panoramic loot of time...
and avenue of scene was...
synonymous...
because: just because...
  40 circa 30... years later...
bon jovi was a ******* cowboy
sing-along loitering son...
or a trailer seller! type... typo...
sort of... th'ang...
  
          your st. thomas your st. peter...
never your ******* st. paul!
the newly wed:
   greco-heb propaganda machinery...
but i still write in sold the death of
latin... by god: ha-shem alone...
let's leave the evangelical avengers
of the stinking new continent
to their own wide-breath of hope...
own a car prior to being told: you're drunk!
says...
           the greco-hebrew conspiracy
of the new testament...
to counter... the match... the former...
glory of ancient greece...
with that... rome borrowed...
as troy...
            the hebrew helped:
hesiod minding folk...
       but the latin script...
the dead: unsaid... became...
revised... reinvented... became...
typos of coding transporter and terminator...
no... i minded to look...
no further than the archeology
of nebuchadnezzar's cuneiform...
              
wake me... this desired woo
of history revised...
the brilliance of the wake:
as cited by

the "failure" of casimir III...
point being: the nazis... either... existed...
or didn't... i much like the idea that they did...
i feel less obligated to ingest them
into my own shadow...
notably the amon goeth quote:

/today is history. today will be remembered.
years from now the young will ask with
wonder about this day.
today is history and you are part of it.
six hundred years ago when elsewhere
they were footing the blame
for the black death, casimir the great - so called -
told the Jews they could come to krakow.
they came. they trundled their belongings
into the city.
they settled. they took hold.
they prospered in business,
      science, education, the arts.
with nothing they came and with nothing
  they flourished. for six centuries there has
been a jewish krakow.
by this evening those six centuries
will be a rumor.
they never happened. today is history.
/

yes... today is history: today is also a past...
what past is clinging to these...
helio-centrists of vain... rekindle...
impromptu?
these... valkyrie: kyrie elision woes & woos?
this... multi-cultural german...
this franco-phone... "oops"...
this... sorry-saxon-cousin
of the pomeranian german...
the english the pseudo-german
having mingled with...
the welsh the irish the pict the receding
celt...
bigmouth h'america'ca'ca'nah! no?

       i'd sooner drink my own ****
and gorge on oral *** of a *******'s
****** and **** than kiss your:
ms. h'america... your guess who's h'american
woman... race war... ***** envy...
forget me so it's so...
12" envy and all that african woman's envy
of **** anything worth of as as ***!
burn... baby... burn...

federal s.a.
                    sounds like south africa...
sounds like... what... the banana republic
of ukraine...
   and the costa rica of bulgaria...
the ancient chore... the lore the lore...
the "taming of the dragon":
the rags to riches...
and all that... canadian bullshitting
the bulldozer... n'ah! gnar!
hell! summon the runes!
for the rottweiler!
   remains of: first invested in bark!
gnar! runes!
                ᚷᚾᚨᚱ! and that's when...
you last you "hear" / see the glagolithic
script...
                     so much for...
tattoo: cheap pork brides / prides
with chinese ideograms...
no runes no glagoliths...

                           gnar! ⰃⰐⰀⰓ!

how can you: write... a dog's digging...
a cat's climbing? for the former: barking...
for the latter: meowing?
Charles Sturies Aug 2019
Kristy McNickle beaming at me in
a picture when she was still nice.
Eva Mendes with a curled upper lip
like she knows who I am and she
wants me.
Adriana Diaz gazing at me displaying
her body wares discreetly
under a nice dress on the morning
CBS news.
Having Margaret Brennan on the
CBS evening news muttering
that she wants me back I guess
she thinks as a follower
of hers
oh heck I could go on and on
about some of my fantasies.

— The End —