"lamer" poems
Could I be any lamer?
This is the disclaimer
of an avid pc gamer.
The original doom sayer.
Not your average KrakPott priest
Resurrecting the deceased.
Carrying raids to keep pleased.
And a night elf none the least.
While your out chasing hoes.
I be on my MMOs
Healing tanks of heavy blows.
Mind controlling enemy foes.
Check me on my youtube channel.
In an epic arena battle.
My heals to great to handle.
Got the horde all screaming 'Scandal!'
My reality was so droll
that I decided to re-roll.
Maybe next I'll be a troll
to fill this empty hole.
Could I be any lamer?
This is my disclaimer.
An avid PC gamer.
The original Doom Sayer.
The End Is Near!!! 0o
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 11:35 PM UTC
She doesn't exactly follow an ambition to be part of a new world
She isn't exactly the definition of your typical post-modern-feminist girl
I'm sorry princess, that you had to have me on this day
But you could have made it easier to find something to say
Jumped up and done some doing about how my foot got in my mouth this way
Instead you're sitting, pouting pretty cause your pretense won't get played
I'll watch you smoke your cigarette, while you're in your loose thread Sunday clothes,
Let's take one of those strings, hold your dress to the wind and see if it floats
Disposable cameras,
Forever fights.
Forever cameras,
Disposable nights.
Hey there weary stranger, I'm sorry I got you confused,
It's just in my lamer moments like this, I don't know what to do,
My silence won't tell you you're beautiful, so I overload and surge through the fuse,
Let me shut up and take you to dinner, if you're lucky we'll both get used.
We're so over the disposable camera generation,
Disposable cameras,
Forever fights.
Now it's a forever rolling fixation,
Forever cameras,
Disposable nights.
So watch out how you smile,
Maybe try to be nice,
Cause if happiness is found in teeth, I friend the crocodile,
And the coolest cats do the same for the mice
So watch out how you smile,
Maybe try to be nice,
Cause if happiness is found in fangs flashed then I friend the crocodile,
And the coolest cats do the same for the mice
We're so over the disposable camera generation,
Disposable cameras, make way for
Forever fights.
Now it's a forever rolling fixation,
Forever cameras, only roll on
Disposable nights.
Nov 7, 2013
Nov 7, 2013 at 1:22 PM UTC
is a governing **********
is lamer than Carrot Top cracking ***** jokes.
has a secret blog called "Pro4Life4Guns4God".
mentions the sexiness of my beard every time we hang out.
spills coffee on his crotch every time we brew a batch.
paints his **** for sporting events.
won't drink alcohol.
***** himself daily to clear his head.
prays for forgiveness every day after ******* himself.
is a box in a cage.
is beige, nursing home wallpaper.
is a real barrier,
to really living.
Nov 24, 2010
Nov 24, 2010 at 8:47 AM UTC
Love mourner
Angst angler
Thesaurus eyer
Rip-rapper
Suet idler
Dream creamer
Cascade scribbler
Intro-pee-er
Guts gusher
Endorphinater
Sonnet snoozer
Trochee tripper
Iambic lamer
Spondee sniveler
Whisper whipper
Music quencher
Apt-less adjectiver
Yeast yearner
Simile stitcher
Metaphor monger
Exclaimationizer!
Nov 1, 2010
Nov 1, 2010 at 7:58 PM UTC
Met this easy chick that don't **** **** she a no brainer
I said **** my duck and she said "What could be lamer?!"
Defamed, I went home cried and smoked some ******
Watch teletubbies in my ****** like my last name was schiefer
I went to bed and heard a scream
like R.Kelly I peed my sheets
Turns out the ****** was laced some sort of hallucinogen
I'm worried that in my bloods a carcinogen
decided not to worry cause whats the point
We all die so chill and roll a joint
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 12:28 PM UTC
I now present to you the talk of the town Mr Page
He looks are deceptive; please don't be fooled by his age
He lives alone in a house near to his office in front of a park
He has far too many enemies for he is a loan shark
Before I tell you more let me put a disclaimer
Now days anyone can sue you, even a lamer
So if there is any resemblance with anyone dead or alive
It’s a mere coincidence, have checked all archive
Mr Page as you read this, is now in a court
Facing a trial bravely and holding on to his fort
Lawyer asked him if he would promise not to lie
Mr Page told, truth it shall be, till he would die
Not only was he a loan shark whose guts every one hated
He spoke in rhymes, even when he debated
All he did was to threaten people all the time
He made them sound ridiculous adding punches and rhymes
When the lawyer asked, 'Mr Page can you show us how you rhyme.'
He replied, ' No sir this is neither the place nor the time.'
'Besides I am not carrying any dictionary or copy of rhyme zone'
'Watch what you say Mr Page' said the lawyer, 'I don’t like your tone'.
'Order order', said the judge, 'I don’t want any rhyming in my court.'
'I can see my lawyers have started rhyming too', he added with a snort
'Do you see Mr page what a bad precedence you have set'?
'Why my lord how could I corrupt the court, ' said Mr Page, ' we have just met'
'There you go, rhyming again even when I told not to'
'Sir why are you so against rhyming I have absolutely no clue'
'Mr Page, please stop.'
'Sorry sir I will try to drop.'
'Mr Page I warn you.'
'I am trying, I am trying, and it’s hard! Phew'
'A phew! Did you have to add that'?
'Sir please, it’s all part of a chat'
'Mr Page you are not helping'
'Please my lord, stop yelping'
'What! How dare you! Handcuff him and put him in jail,
No books, No net, No friends and No bail.'
So you see this how Mr Page landed up in prison
And for what, rhyming, which was certainly no treason
Funny laws, funny punishments, this certainly was a funny case
But the people were happy as long as they didn’t see Mr Page's face.
Jul 14, 2011
Jul 14, 2011 at 1:54 AM UTC
We lay awake sometimes, staring at the ceiling.
But not really at the ceiling. Our minds are running
Thinking of how we can change the world tomorrow.
We'll make posters get signatures and do that one thing everyday.
Starting tomorrow.
The adrenaline pumps and makes it hard to sleep.
The possibilities are literally endless.
Oh, the things we can do tomorrow.
Then we wake up,
And everything seems so much lamer than it did the night before.
Jan 8, 2012
Jan 8, 2012 at 4:59 PM UTC
This is a disclaimer
Despite the fact
That I wish they would attack
To bite your fat ***
In zeal cause you might
Taste like veil
Zombies are not real
This is a disclaimer
Contrary to your belief
And desire to find relief
Angels do not exist
The spirit does not persist
And you waste much energy
In the pursuit of this
Fear of death
This is a disclaimer
Cause it’s lamer
By todays standard
To stand hard
Against the ignorance
And superstition
Than it is to sit around fishing
For fantasies
To comfort ourselves
This is a disclaimer
It would be far vainer
For me to say
That I know it all
I may
I have been wrong
All along
But I highly doubt it
May 25, 2015
May 25, 2015 at 2:35 PM UTC
my heart has hallways
it's a lot like valhalla
only a little smaller, squishy and pinkish-red
a lot lamer. in rooms i'm playing guitar
or maybe i am playing with the dogs
or fixing myself something different to eat
hey, it was actually good
these walls caught the sound of your voice
and held onto it
when you walked with me here
i was excited but not ready
you were older
i bought you all these things
but you just got me Emily
and it's coursing through his mind
and he only wants you and he means that
and he doesn't have the patience to write a great poem right now
barely the patience to accept you won't ever date again
he can imagine other things but he rejects them in real life
he just wants you, her voice, her body
he knows it's in there if he could just dig it out but no
i've decided it's much better to leave you alone
considering me and considering you
only i ******* can't
i really, really want you back
and it kills me
every ******* day.
Aug 16, 2016
Aug 16, 2016 at 3:59 AM UTC
A night where one side of the world still sleeps,
You ask yourself "Is it still worth it?"
Taking a big leap?
When you already know the piece does not fit.
Not anymore, not this time,
You try to push. Like trying to make poems to rhyme,
And it gets lamer each line,
But remember it is okay; it will be fine.
Do not forget that there are other puzzles,
Waiting for the piece that they need,
The one who can make the picture complete.
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 2:38 PM UTC
Stagnant and thinking
Confused and blinking
Age draws on
Yet still a pawn
Standard and simple
Dull and wimple
Wrapped in indifference
Trapped warm desire
In need of deliverance
If I come un-strewn
May I be blessed in womb
Re-birthed and open
More accepting and woken
New insight could dislodge this anchor
Only I can treat my own lamer
Once in motion
Loneliness is in emaciation
Finding friends in exploration
Finding one for intimacy
Not based on elegancy
Venerate character
Each must love the other entire
Both exchanging devotion and tenderness
Only full of equality, truth, and openness
Nurture platonic love, beautiful and scarce
Defend it like a dove, only vicious and fierce
Nov 3, 2019
Nov 3, 2019 at 5:29 PM UTC
I just woke up from a nap in my car.
I can't drive it home because my keys are trapped.
I can't free them
so I'm writing a poem.
Let's make this lamer and call it a wrap.
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 5, 2015 at 5:02 AM UTC
the moon pulls me just like it pulls the waves
(sometimes I am pulled back with the tide)
I am drawn to the skies every starry night
and my mind is drawn to your eyes every time I close mine
because love makes it easy to drown in your blue stare
(how cliche)
my fingers get lost when they run through your hair
and all I ever write anymore is how I love to be tangled in your bed sheets
because that is all my free-roaming mind ever wants to jump to.
You are my favorite place to be
and this wasn't going to be about you, but
the moon pulls me just like it pulls the waves
and I daydream of being pulled into your arms
I won't choke on salt water anymore,
I'll choke on the words I'm learning to understand the meaning of
"I love you"
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015 at 3:28 AM UTC
Voy a soltar frutos
raíces amasadas en mi cráneo
como azúcar querrás frotar tu dedo
y lamer su polvo dulce,
blanco granulado
en mi maceta crecen triángulos de sombras
llenas de cuadrada soledad
en su tierra querrás meter
y embarrar tu dedo
después sin pensarlo te lo acercarás
y te lo meterás a la boca
y ahí en tu lengua
también mis raíces crecerán
Dibujando mé
hasta que en ti quede yo
y en mi termines tu
Soltando raíces
Jan 15, 2019
Jan 15, 2019 at 10:10 AM UTC
Besos que te sobraban en los bolsillos, caricias que hace tiempo expiraron, tus ojos y tus labios que soltaban cantos de sirena me fueron guiando al pantano donde me ahogo. Volví a lanzarme sin pensarlo dos veces y fue lindo mientras duró gracias por las heridas de guerra, algún día seré más fuerte, es hora de volver a mi caparazón, tocar la retirada, entrar en un letargo y lamer las heridas abiertas de par en par.
Nov 12, 2019
Nov 12, 2019 at 11:43 AM UTC
Sólo tú me acompañas, sol amigo.
Como un perro de luz, lames mi lecho blanco;
y yo pierdo mi mano por tu pelo de oro,
caída de cansancio.
¡Qué de cosas que fueron
se van... más lejos todavía!
Callo
y sonrío, igual que un niño,
dejándome lamer de ti, sol manso.
... De pronto, sol, te yergues,
fiel guardián de mi fracaso,
y, en una algarabía ardiente y loca,
ladras a los fantasmas vanos
que, mudas sombras, me amenazan
desde el desierto del ocaso.
491
He cruzado los mares,
mientras cargaba mi propia cruz pesada.
He escalado los valles,
mientras cargo mis propias montañas.
Todo esto y más,
dudo que puedas hacerlo por tu cuenta.
Y es por eso que tú y yo somos diferentes.
No puedes ganar una guerra,
sin ser tu propio paraíso e isla.
No se puede saborear la victoria
sin lamer los terrenos del Gólgota.
Todo esto y más,
seguro de que no lo sabrías si no te lo dijera.
Y es por eso que tú y yo no somos iguales.
He surcado mares de fuego,
mis dientes salieron más fuertes
que cien coronas.
He cavado mi propia tumba,
y regresé más poderosa
que mil mesías.
Y por eso soy reina, una eterna.
Y por qué eres sólo un hombre, un mortal.
May 31, 2024
May 31, 2024 at 4:50 AM UTC