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WickedHope Sep 2021
You burned me  
We smelled like Mary and Jane
I laughed hard
Dug my nails in deep
As I writhed in pain  

I was too quiet
But I screamed too loud  
You didn't care
We were like fvcking kings    
Living in a cloud

You tied me up  
So I could stay resting in bed
Lied to me
Betrayed by a kiss too is how  
Jesus ended up dead
How do I stop being a fvcking *****
Will you let us ****?
Under the moon
where we lay our hands to each other
whispering loud noises of our heartbeats
colliding as our chest gets close to each other?

will you let me kiss those lips of yours
both horizontal and vertical ones?
Will you let me hear that wonderful sound
of your moan
as the night let the wolves howl in jealousy
of the love we make?

Let me hear you scream of my name
for the night is ours
and tomorrow
we're not the same.
This just a dream.
As the Sun rise
I'll wake up
knowing you are never mine.
Dreaming you are with me
put a bullet in your fvcking head you're not even worth the fvcking lead or jump off a fvcking building and hit the pavement the concrete could care even fvcking less
Yea I wanna die at 23
Cepheus Aug 2018
Oh Glenda
Have you received your karma?
I sure hope you already did
'Cause if not, I'd give it myself

I was reminded of what you did
So subtle, it took me three years
You probably don't even remember
But to me it still lingers

If you think about it
The beginning of the end all started with you
Sure it could've happened either way
But the finger who pulled the trigger was yours

Oh no, don't worry
It's not only you who's to blame
I still find her the most guilty
Oh you won't mind joining my little hate-game

Remember your seemingly innocent teasing?
Like you were so fond of us back then
But at the back of your mind you find me so naive
The truth is, you were really disgusted

That's why you had to step up
You felt the need to save
Oh yes, 'cause a fully-consensual-same-***-relationship is a no-no to you, no, not on your watch
Who knows, I might've gotten her enslaved

And so you had to evangelize
Just in case she had forgotten hell
Shove the grisly details into her mind
She's fragile, so she kissed-and-tell...

Goodbye to me
She won't fight for a love if it'd deny her an entrance to the pearly gates of course
Who'd trade an eternal happiness for a mere human being like me
So much for a "loving god", huh, go figure

Anyways, I am holding you accountable
For one soul was apparently being saved,
is equivalent to one soul to fall
How are you going to own up to this, babe?

You know you didn't have the right
IT WAS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
I would've tore your nose apart
For rudely sticking itself to what was clearly NOT YOUR MESS

But then you were instantly gone
I couldn't even shot you a deathly glare
You just went AWOL, over and done
Oh dear, do you fvcking think that was fair?

And so you two left me in despair
Desperately wishing that karma's really an evil *****
Giving my faith to it that you two'll eventually get what you deserve
For making a perfectly loving person turn into an insane world-hating ****** who with just the mention of the word L-O-V-E, in anger and sorrow, cringe and twitch

Don't even try to wash your hands, no, no
No matter what you say I've made up my mind, I sing blah blah blah
Dareka no sei ni shitai yo
Tsurai na iya iya


For your weak brains to understand, in other words
Listen, or rather, read:
I want to make it someone else's fault
It hurts so much. I hate it. I hate it.


If you didn't know
Love + pain = hatred
Oh, of course you won't
I forgot you two are saints

Well, wait 'til you experience the same judgments and emotional torture I did
I just have a few last words to bid
Like what's in your surname, ABOGA-something, memory's not that sharp, aye
The letters I'm sure in it is, **DIE
Throwback hatred Thursday.
basil Dec 2021
red
sitting in traffic staring
at a horizon of red
thinking of her unintentionally

i dyed my hair again
taking comfort in being able to look different
looking different than when i fell for people that were just shells
of bad decisions and ****
people that gave me goosebumps because they were so cold
but i used to mistake the chills for butterflies

i've been worried about repeating myself
cycling around my bad habits
like i'm on a ferris wheel that doubles as a perpetual motion machine
but i haven't texted her in a few weeks so
that must be a good sign
still

i listen the playlists i made when i was so busy over thinking i didn't have time to do my fvcking laundry
i wore her sweater for days on end and i hummed those songs under my breath
and now the melodies just remind me of how starving i was
laying in the bed of nails i made for myself
and they remind me of her. always her. and how she never gave a **** about me, but somehow taught me to give a **** about myself.
these stupid, beautiful songs remind me of how much i pretend to hate her. and they make me want to write poems about the idea of her again
even though i swore i wouldn't. on several occasions.
and so this poem isn't about her, or the idea of her, or the stupid playlists i was obsessed with when i called her mine

this one is about the horizon of red
as i sit stuck in traffic, staring
blurring my vision on purpose
as the crimson lights move at the speed of my slowing heart
trying. trying. trying.
trying to forget about her, as i think of her unintentionally.
trying to live in a world where people don't always mean the 'i love you's that so carelessly drip from their open mouths.
trying to care about those people anyway and pretend that i don't.
trying to love.
trying to love myself.
trying to write more poems in the first person as a form of self care.
trying to figure out if that counts.

trying to not be so fvcking lonly all the time.
i wrote this in my notes app in the car. if you can't tell ****. drink water, love. and remind me not to romanticize being treated like **** <3

12.10.2021
PoeticEvade Jul 2013
If you go, you go, you don't come back.
It's like Tupac being resurrected,
returning to rap.

The door of my life is always creaked open a little.
I trust too many,
people play me like the Fiddle.

But what's the answer to this riddle?
When will it be solved?

It's like I'm the prey
and I'm in between a lion's Jaws.
I mean we all have flaws,
no one's perfect.
Society fvcking with people,
boys telling girls to "twerk it".

Is this how things are now?
Everyone wants fame.
People can't remember Nakia,
I'm No Name.
Cepheus Aug 2018
It's a paradox

You're not fvcked up
But someone fvcked you up
You become fvcked up
So you fvcked someone up
And that someone becomes fvcked up
And will eventually **** someone up
Until everyone in this fvcking world becomes fvcked up

And we all end up in a fvcking ****-radox
XIII Nov 2019
It's a paradox

You're not fvcked up
But someone fvcked you up
You become fvcked up
So you fvcked someone up
And that someone becomes fvcked up
And will eventually **** someone up
Until everyone in this fvcking world becomes fvcked up

And we all end up in a fvcking ****-radox
© Cepheus August 10, 2018
el Mar 20
no mercy?
no mercy?
how can you say that when we have been through everything that you see
and we still chose to stay?
how can you say i have no mercy when i only stick around from the goodness of my heart?
how can you say that i have no mercy when all i do is think and do for you
all i want is to make you happy
how can you forget that i am constantly being mowed down?
no fvcking mercy?
PoeticEvade Jul 2013
I'm not your fvcking best friend.
Is friend-zoning the new trend?
Sorry, I didn't mean to offend...
but, can I ever win?

So you're telling me those long nights of talking
were all fake and pretend?
Will this broken heart of mine
ever mend?

This isn't hard to believe.
Maybe I should throw myself into the deep end,
so the sharks can feed.
Go ahead, stand there and watch me profusely bleed.
You've got your soil, your water, just plant that seed.
Enjoy your garden, pull me out
I'm just the weeds.

Love is blind.
I need to love at my own pace.
Maybe this is the wrong time
but I'm in the right place...

Hopeless romantic, that's what they say,
I figured there was never going to be a "we".
Wow, this really ruined my day.
Guess you two were meant to be.
Now I'm left with the one and only me.
You will get
fvcking easily dameged
day by day
in your feelings.

Sometimes
people do not care about
who you are.

And sometimes
people care about you
because they have the same feeling with you.

They just want to know
what you feel
but they do not care
what you do after.

You just feel your feeling
by feeling your feeling
day by day
until you do not feel
again
and again
that you are feeling
every sadness
every madness
everything you feel
you are nothing
about you.

Sometimes
you want to die
but dying do not solve your problems.
Anxiety is like you feel dizzy
in your head when you do nothing
but the atmosphere like want to **** you
bit by bit and you feel in your lungs step by step.
Sometimes you feel nothing.
In feeling nothing
you feel you are real.
The real creature that is you.

You deserve to be happy
one day,
and when you get it,
there is nothing
to care again
about what you feel
in the past.
Indonesia, 30th March 2021
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
Cepheus Aug 2018
I understand
I hurt you
You did not deserve that
But I did not deserve this too

What, you ask?
YOU PLAGIARIZING MY POEMS
Everytime I read yours, I gasp
Those were my children, my words

STOP COPYING ME
Can you not think of something original?
True, you alter it subtly
But those bullets are obviously from my arsenal

Some might say that I should be proud
For you drew your inspiration from mine
But gods, I am those kids' dad
I fvcking have the copyright
©
XIII Nov 2017
Ber months probably got him going
The lack of warmth and the upcoming winter
Though without snow
Got him in the mood

He got his pen out
Writes numerous twists on the plot
Changing the dull, routinary daily life
Into an action-packed comedy-drama genre with a slice of heist

I wonder how he looks like as he smirks in amusement
From the roller coaster and everyday torment
He casts upon me
Is it self-satisfying, you fvcking sadist?

I am a writer, too
It's karma, no?
Shall I extract revenge on my characters?
Vengeance is so sweet, it's time for another update
XIII Nov 2017
A love that can easily be mine
It's already in my hand
All I had to do was to grasp
But it was left undone

A love that came back
It still won't come true but
It was still in my hand
And I was taken aback

Being the weakling that I am,
My heart wavered and I was shaken
To the past, I felt regret
To the present, I felt guilt

And now I'm stuck
Which way? Left or right?
And since I can't decide
I am dropping them all, leaving nothing behind

Go! Go all away!
Leave me be for this is where I'll stay
In the middle of nowhere is my imprisonment
To the future, I feel nothing

Love? I won't ever fvcking wish for it
Just let those love I've let go to find it instead
Let them find peace, and maybe someday forgiveness
At my sanity's expense
XIII Nov 2019
Oh Glenda
Have you received your karma?
I sure hope you already did
'Cause if not, I'd give it myself

I was reminded of what you did
So subtle, it took me three years
You probably don't even remember
But to me it still lingers

If you think about it
The beginning of the end all started with you
Sure it could've happened either way
But the finger who pulled the trigger was yours

Oh no, don't worry
It's not only you who's to blame
I still find her the most guilty
Oh you won't mind joining my little hate-game

Remember your seemingly innocent teasing?
Like you were so fond of us back then
But at the back of your mind you find me so naive
The truth is, you were really disgusted

That's why you had to step up
You felt the need to save
Oh yes, 'cause a fully-consensual-same-***-relationship is a no-no to you, no, not on your watch
Who knows, I might've gotten her enslaved

And so you had to evangelize
Just in case she had forgotten hell
Shove the grisly details into her mind
She's fragile, so she kissed-and-tell...

Goodbye to me
She won't fight for a love if it'd deny her an entrance to the pearly gates of course
Who'd trade an eternal happiness for a mere human being like me
So much for a "loving god", huh, go figure

Anyways, I am holding you accountable
For one soul was apparently being saved,
is equivalent to one soul to fall
How are you going to own up to this, babe?

You know you didn't have the right
IT WAS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
I would've tore your nose apart
For rudely sticking itself to what was clearly NOT YOUR MESS

But then you were instantly gone
I couldn't even shot you a deathly glare
You just went AWOL, over and done
Oh dear, do you fvcking think that was fair?

And so you two left me in despair
Desperately wishing that karma's really an evil *****
Giving my faith to it that you two'll eventually get what you deserve
For making a perfectly loving person turn into an insane world-hating ****** who with just the mention of the word L-O-V-E, in anger and sorrow, cringe and twitch

Don't even try to wash your hands, no, no
No matter what you say I've made up my mind, I sing blah blah blah
Dareka no sei ni shitai yo
Tsurai na iya iya


For your weak brains to understand, in other words
Listen, or rather, read:
I want to make it someone else's fault
It hurts so much. I hate it. I hate it.


If you didn't know
Love + pain = hatred
Oh, of course you won't
I forgot you two are saints

Well, wait 'til you experience the same judgments and emotional torture I did
I just have a few last words to bid
Like what's in your surname, ABOGA-something, memory's not that sharp, aye
The letters I'm sure in it is, **DIE
"Throwback hatred Thursday. "
© Cepheus August 9, 2018
XIII Nov 2019
I understand
I hurt you
You did not deserve that
But I did not deserve this too

What, you ask?
YOU PLAGIARIZING MY POEMS
Everytime I read yours, I gasp
Those were my children, my words

STOP COPYING ME
Can you not think of something original?
True, you alter it subtly
But those bullets are obviously from my arsenal

Some might say that I should be proud
For you drew your inspiration from mine
But gods, I am those kids' dad
I fvcking have the copyright
"©"
© Cepheus August 17, 2018
They say the worst heart break was the first,
Not the second, nor the third,
Not to question the fourth,
And the fifth, never heard,
There's not much on this list,
Even if there was a sixth,
So the question is,
Why the **** does this still fvcking hurt?

— The End —