"eastenders" poems - Hello Poetry

(with apologies to Gil Scott-Heron) You will have to stay home, sister. You will charge up, tune in, drop out of all activities. You will scroll through memes, trawl the news, Skip the tea, you're running low. The epidemic will be endlessly televised. The epidemic will be brought to you in a trillion parts, With declining commercial interruption. The epidemic will show you pictures of Trump and Boris blithering, Dreaming of fried chicken at the end of televisation, "Oka-a-ay...". "You are a terrible reporter!" NHS-badged Hancock will look the part, But cannot answer the question Should I look after my sick self-isolated seventyish neighbour? Fauci facepalms And is gone. Watch out, guys. The epidemic will be televised. The Epidemic (starring Tom Hanks) will not be brought to you on the big screen. There will be no big screen. The Epidemic will not play Glasto Lit by 300,000 Androids. The epidemic will be brought to you by friends and strangers. The epidemic will be televised. The epidemic will not inject fat into your posterior. You will not need to shave or deodorise. As it turns out, you are not worth that expensive holiday. The epidemic will make you a bedroom star Vlogging your incarceration to ten followers. The epidemic will be televised. There will be pictures of coughing queues at supermarkets Toilet roll riots, thermometer wars. There will be pictures of you and your best mate Pushing that cart down the block, Packed with Branston Pickle baked beans Though you posted fifty times online about hoarding. You will not have dressed for the occasion. You will not care who wins Love Island. You will not care who wins The Great British Bake Off. Eastenders will be cancelled After 35 years of continuous drama. You will dodge the police for a quiet walk On a brighter day. The epidemic will be televised. Reporters will cough. Ministers will be replaced Suddenly Parliament will be suspended. Politics will cease to be televised. The epidemic will be right back, after a message. You will have to worry about a germ in your bathroom, Your food supply, the tiger in your tank, your loved ones, Whether, if you cease to breathe, there will be a ventilator. You will consider getting in the driver's seat. Where to go? Would you like to see your mother? Would you like to cross a border? The Caravan Park is occupied By the Military. Slowly, slowly The screens will darken. The epidemic will no longer be televised. The Epidemic is not a game. You cannot return to a previous Save. The epidemic is live.

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Mar 24, 2020

Mar 24, 2020 at 3:38 PM UTC

zoe-roberts

The Epidemic Will be Televised

65

(Voice 1-male) This is not living This sitting, nightly arrangement Its purpose of entertainment How could I care for the world around if I cannot hear it, touch it, taste it for myself? We watch the same screen from opposite ends of the world You have the best seat and I allow it, so you don't miss out And we fill the void between us with empty crisp packets and the last dregs of a lonely can. Once not so long ago You would rest your legs over mine and consume the space. And although I complained, I never once minded, not really. (Voice 2-female) I wish you would touch me Like you used to Before we stagnated somewhere between Eastenders and Big Brother. The way you would run your fingers up and down the soles of my feet. Before work piled on the pressure And you became too tired to tell me about your day I remember when we didn't need the tv, When our entertainment was the sound of each other’s voices, Or the crackle of vinyl as we made love under its arches of sound, Upon this very sofa Where we now sit in awkward silence, together, yet apart. (Voice 1-male) I wish you still asked me about my day, Even though I may not answer because I don't want to bring you down Still it would be nice to know you cared. I wish that remote would separate itself from our relationship, Instead of being our adulterant, as we use it for the only pleasure between us. I wish that at the end of the night, you would sit with me in silence, The way we used to Just wrapped in each other’s arms The only entertainment we needed then, Was listening for the moment our heartbeats synchronised I wish we could have that again Instead of you going to bed without so much as a good night kiss. (Voice 2-female) I wish you would follow me to bed Instead of wallowing in front Of your latest boxset conquest You don't even say goodnight As if I am doing you a disservice And i wish you knew that in bed I cry Longing for you to be as enthralled by me As you is the TV. When was our bed no longer the source of entertainment? (Voice 1-male) I wish you knew that I cry when you go to bed Missing the time When we were more important than sleep. I wish I could turn off the television I wish I could turn off my mind. But I see that you no longer want me, Or have any interest in me When all I need is for you to ask How are you? Throw your arms around me Take me away from the world I need no other entertainment than that Most of all What I wish Is that we could silence the world And just be honest And see that we are not that different We are the same as we used to be Before television took the life Out of you and me I wish, just for once, we would talk

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Sep 3, 2016

Sep 3, 2016 at 7:52 AM UTC

phillip-knight

Home Entertainment

(Voice 1-male) This is not living This sitting, nightly arrangement Its purpose of entertainment How could I care for the world around if I cannot hear it, touch it, taste it for myself? We watch the same screen from opposite ends of the world You have the best seat and I allow it, so you don't miss out And we fill the void between us with empty crisp packets and the last dregs of a lonely can. Once not so long ago You would rest your legs over mine and consume the space. And although I complained, I never once minded, not really. (Voice 2-female) I wish you would touch me Like you used to Before we stagnated somewhere between Eastenders and Big Brother. The way you would run your fingers up and down the soles of my feet. Before work piled on the pressure And you became too tired to tell me about your day I remember when we didn't need the tv, When our entertainment was the sound of each other’s voices, Or the crackle of vinyl as we made love under its arches of sound, Upon this very sofa Where we now sit in awkward silence, together, yet apart. (Voice 1-male) I wish you still asked me about my day, Even though I may not answer because I don't want to bring you down Still it would be nice to know you cared. I wish that remote would separate itself from our relationship, Instead of being our adulterant, as we use it for the only pleasure between us. I wish that at the end of the night, you would sit with me in silence, The way we used to Just wrapped in each other’s arms The only entertainment we needed then, Was listening for the moment our heartbeats synchronised I wish we could have that again Instead of you going to bed without so much as a good night kiss. (Voice 2-female) I wish you would follow me to bed Instead of wallowing in front Of your latest boxset conquest You don't even say goodnight As if I am doing you a disservice And i wish you knew that in bed I cry Longing for you to be as enthralled by me As you is the TV. When was our bed no longer the source of entertainment? (Voice 1-male) I wish you knew that I cry when you go to bed Missing the time When we were more important than sleep. I wish I could turn off the television I wish I could turn off my mind. But I see that you no longer want me, Or have any interest in me When all I need is for you to ask How are you? Throw your arms around me Take me away from the world I need no other entertainment than that Most of all What I wish Is that we could silence the world And just be honest And see that we are not that different We are the same as we used to be Before television took the life Out of you and me I wish, just for once, we would talk

69

It Seems ... Mr. Ross ... Has BROKEN Some ... " Boundaries " ... But ... If It's Not Him ... It's That Man ... " Ali G " ... !!! Or Maybe A ... " Pundit " ... On Late Night TV ... ?!? But ... Shows That They're SLAMMING ... Claim To Be ... " Comedies " ... ?!? Can Someone Explain ... How They Get On ... TV ... ?!? " Have I Got News For You " Is On ... BBC ... As is ... Mr. Ross ... But NOT ... Ali G ... Channel 4 ... Is The Channel ... Where He Seems To Be ... But ... Now They're Complaining ... That Things They Are Saying ... AREN'T Really ... " Funny " ... !?! But ... THIS Is ... LONG After ... Execs' Get MONEY ... !!! NOT Just Celebs' ... But THOSE ... TV Heads ... Who CLAIM That ... " The Edit " ... Didn't Get To ... THEIR DESK ... !?! So .... What Were They Doing ... ? Instead of ... Tape Viewing ... ?!? Now ... That Is A Thought ... To Leave Your Mind ... " Stewing " ............. See ... THIS Is ... " The Problem " ... With Critics and ... " Liberals " ... THEY ... Twist and Turn ... Like ... " Arjen Robben " ... !!! It's OKAY To USE Blacks ... For ... SHAMELESS Displays ... EVEN If A GREAT MANY ... DON'T Behave THAT Way ... !?! But Some SILLY Blacks ... Are READY To Say ... " Don't worry i'll do it ! " Just For A ... " PAYDAY " ... !!! That's Just My View ... Cos' TV ... Is SEE THROUGH ... DON'T EVER Be Fooled ... They KNOW What They Do ... These SHOCK VALUE Stories ... Remind Me of ... TORIES ... !!! and Like ... MOST of Them ... THESE Stories Just Bore Me ... !!! I Thought This Was WHY ... We Have The ... " Watershed " ... !?! Cos' ... By The Time ... Half Past Nine ... Shouldn't Kids Be IN BED ... ?!? Parents ... Be CAREFUL ... Which Channel You PRESS ... !!! Cos' Your Child May Just Be ... ??? REPEATING ... What Is Said ... On ... Late Night TV ... To Get Some STREET CRED' ... !!! This Is MY Belief ... It's Those SAME TV Chiefs ... That PUT ... FOUL-MOUTHED Actors ... On .... " Comic Relief " .... They KNOW What They're Doing ... They SET UP ... SHOCK Viewing ... !!!!! From Soaps Like ... " Eastenders " ... To ... Late Night Agendas ... To ... CONJURE UP ... Figures ... From Ali G ... " WIGGERS' " ... To RAPPERS Who YES ... Are REALLY ... Gold Diggers ... !!! Who Just Try To ... SHOCK ... With Words That They've Got ... !!! THESE Rap Battles Generate ... MILLIONS of Sales ... !!!!!! Don't You SEE ... ? Thats' The Plot ... DON'T Sit and COMPLAIN ... Cos' The Lot We've Now Got ... Is Running ... AMOK ... Somewhat Like ... ... Your SNOT ... !!! Whatever Has Happened ... To .... TECHNOLOGY .... ?!? Unless The Show's LIVE ... Can't They Just Use The BLEEP ... ?!? EVEN If The Show's LIVE ... I Suggest They Start Using ... Technology ... " Tricks " ... And Then THIS Whole PROBLEM ... Could Simply Be ... FIXED ... PROFANITY Is ... Part of ... REALITY ... And REALITY Is .. A Reflection of ... " WE " ... The Image of ... YOU ... And The Image of ME ... I Hope ... This Little Poem ... Has Helped You To SEE ... That ... ALL of This ... NONSENSE ... Is Simply Just ... BLEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPP ... !!!!!! And THAT Is My View ... On These **** ... .... " Boundaries " ....

0

Nov 3, 2019

Nov 3, 2019 at 5:26 PM UTC

big-virge

"Boundaries" ... A Poem written by Big Virge 20/4/2005

It Seems ... Mr. Ross ... Has BROKEN Some ... " Boundaries " ... But ... If It's Not Him ... It's That Man ... " Ali G " ... !!! Or Maybe A ... " Pundit " ... On Late Night TV ... ?!? But ... Shows That They're SLAMMING ... Claim To Be ... " Comedies " ... ?!? Can Someone Explain ... How They Get On ... TV ... ?!? " Have I Got News For You " Is On ... BBC ... As is ... Mr. Ross ... But NOT ... Ali G ... Channel 4 ... Is The Channel ... Where He Seems To Be ... But ... Now They're Complaining ... That Things They Are Saying ... AREN'T Really ... " Funny " ... !?! But ... THIS Is ... LONG After ... Execs' Get MONEY ... !!! NOT Just Celebs' ... But THOSE ... TV Heads ... Who CLAIM That ... " The Edit " ... Didn't Get To ... THEIR DESK ... !?! So .... What Were They Doing ... ? Instead of ... Tape Viewing ... ?!? Now ... That Is A Thought ... To Leave Your Mind ... " Stewing " ............. See ... THIS Is ... " The Problem " ... With Critics and ... " Liberals " ... THEY ... Twist and Turn ... Like ... " Arjen Robben " ... !!! It's OKAY To USE Blacks ... For ... SHAMELESS Displays ... EVEN If A GREAT MANY ... DON'T Behave THAT Way ... !?! But Some SILLY Blacks ... Are READY To Say ... " Don't worry i'll do it ! " Just For A ... " PAYDAY " ... !!! That's Just My View ... Cos' TV ... Is SEE THROUGH ... DON'T EVER Be Fooled ... They KNOW What They Do ... These SHOCK VALUE Stories ... Remind Me of ... TORIES ... !!! and Like ... MOST of Them ... THESE Stories Just Bore Me ... !!! I Thought This Was WHY ... We Have The ... " Watershed " ... !?! Cos' ... By The Time ... Half Past Nine ... Shouldn't Kids Be IN BED ... ?!? Parents ... Be CAREFUL ... Which Channel You PRESS ... !!! Cos' Your Child May Just Be ... ??? REPEATING ... What Is Said ... On ... Late Night TV ... To Get Some STREET CRED' ... !!! This Is MY Belief ... It's Those SAME TV Chiefs ... That PUT ... FOUL-MOUTHED Actors ... On .... " Comic Relief " .... They KNOW What They're Doing ... They SET UP ... SHOCK Viewing ... !!!!! From Soaps Like ... " Eastenders " ... To ... Late Night Agendas ... To ... CONJURE UP ... Figures ... From Ali G ... " WIGGERS' " ... To RAPPERS Who YES ... Are REALLY ... Gold Diggers ... !!! Who Just Try To ... SHOCK ... With Words That They've Got ... !!! THESE Rap Battles Generate ... MILLIONS of Sales ... !!!!!! Don't You SEE ... ? Thats' The Plot ... DON'T Sit and COMPLAIN ... Cos' The Lot We've Now Got ... Is Running ... AMOK ... Somewhat Like ... ... Your SNOT ... !!! Whatever Has Happened ... To .... TECHNOLOGY .... ?!? Unless The Show's LIVE ... Can't They Just Use The BLEEP ... ?!? EVEN If The Show's LIVE ... I Suggest They Start Using ... Technology ... " Tricks " ... And Then THIS Whole PROBLEM ... Could Simply Be ... FIXED ... PROFANITY Is ... Part of ... REALITY ... And REALITY Is .. A Reflection of ... " WE " ... The Image of ... YOU ... And The Image of ME ... I Hope ... This Little Poem ... Has Helped You To SEE ... That ... ALL of This ... NONSENSE ... Is Simply Just ... BLEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPP ... !!!!!! And THAT Is My View ... On These **** ... .... " Boundaries " ....

113

Modern love Plays out All over Facebook And the social feeds Not quite Shakespeare It’s more Love Island themed It started with a kiss And ended with disease True romance Cozy nights in A three course meal Just for you By him Catching feels ***** flutters Where digital love begins Smitten kittens Tagging each other In the latest memes A selfie before The cinema screen Holiday snaps “A pic of my man I love how he naps x” Status updates Painted on the wall From single To a relationship In no time at all Not quite Notting Hill Just another IG Story Eastenders drama Is social media glory Posting again At 3 in the morning The lies and deceit Not so discreet Posting the screenshots And read receipts “U ok *** Wot happened Babe DM me ** Love to air your ***** laundry And filthy sheets Content’s like clockwork When a new lover’s On the scene Breaking up in style Part of the routine For an audience That can’t help but stare I’m obsessed When a post is shared No need for the town square We’re all living Vicariously through You and your private affairs

0

Apr 14, 2025

Apr 14, 2025 at 3:30 PM UTC

northernpoet

Digital Love

Modern love Plays out All over Facebook And the social feeds Not quite Shakespeare It’s more Love Island themed It started with a kiss And ended with disease True romance Cozy nights in A three course meal Just for you By him Catching feels ***** flutters Where digital love begins Smitten kittens Tagging each other In the latest memes A selfie before The cinema screen Holiday snaps “A pic of my man I love how he naps x” Status updates Painted on the wall From single To a relationship In no time at all Not quite Notting Hill Just another IG Story Eastenders drama Is social media glory Posting again At 3 in the morning The lies and deceit Not so discreet Posting the screenshots And read receipts “U ok *** Wot happened Babe DM me ** Love to air your ***** laundry And filthy sheets Content’s like clockwork When a new lover’s On the scene Breaking up in style Part of the routine For an audience That can’t help but stare I’m obsessed When a post is shared No need for the town square We’re all living Vicariously through You and your private affairs

57

once upon a time, my english teacher (a pict), blamed english soap opera (namely eastenders), for his students treating books like bricks, or at least door stoppers. yep, and the most entertaining drama i've seen unfold, was between my neighbour's dog, and my pavarotti's worth of a cat: every time it rains and his meowing, i'm an inch's worth close to phoning amnesty international on grounds of: human abuse... hate this ginger **** this castrated frankenstein monstrosity meowing all the time... it almost feels like i guillotined his ******** + testicles off, even though i'm the ******* of pedigree annoyance tactics... but, really? it must be the jazz pedigree in me, transitioning from classical music that really, gets me, i hate bands that disrespect bass guitarists... i'm either sly, or pedantic, or simply nerdy... i don't like bands that forget bass guitars, i like to think of them as a buffer criterium segregating rhythm guitar and the drums, bass guitars allow a harmony, listen to enough jazz, and you'll know - i like, and i also don't like bands like metallica... i must be deaf... i must have had a mumbai elephant stamp on my trombone's worth of owing an ear, but i can't hear drums... so i must be deaf... i know the bass is there, but it's subtle... too subtle for my liking, it might be a guilt-ridden thing, having lost cliff burton... but i have to be a bit deaf guarding a reminder... i have no respect for bands that hide the bass, and bask in rhythm guitars and drums... sorry, but bass guitar is a crucial mediatory medium of what comes after: either solo guitar or the already apparent "stage fright" of vocal exfoliation... and that's truly the case, the most "soap opera" i've seen these days, was staged by my ginger-ninja and my neighbour's ***** when people become too docile to become interesting or entertaining, you revise yourself using animals as a blank slate... and i must be deaf, i can't hear any bass guitar on the majority of metallica's songs... devil's dance is besides the point, being stated; just call me deaf and we'll be ripping a dollar bill to the hush of: evens.

0

Aug 30, 2017

Aug 30, 2017 at 7:36 PM UTC

removed.polaroid-scrabble

i must be deaf

once upon a time, my english teacher (a pict), blamed english soap opera (namely eastenders), for his students treating books like bricks, or at least door stoppers. yep, and the most entertaining drama i've seen unfold, was between my neighbour's dog, and my pavarotti's worth of a cat: every time it rains and his meowing, i'm an inch's worth close to phoning amnesty international on grounds of: human abuse... hate this ginger **** this castrated frankenstein monstrosity meowing all the time... it almost feels like i guillotined his ******** + testicles off, even though i'm the ******* of pedigree annoyance tactics... but, really? it must be the jazz pedigree in me, transitioning from classical music that really, gets me, i hate bands that disrespect bass guitarists... i'm either sly, or pedantic, or simply nerdy... i don't like bands that forget bass guitars, i like to think of them as a buffer criterium segregating rhythm guitar and the drums, bass guitars allow a harmony, listen to enough jazz, and you'll know - i like, and i also don't like bands like metallica... i must be deaf... i must have had a mumbai elephant stamp on my trombone's worth of owing an ear, but i can't hear drums... so i must be deaf... i know the bass is there, but it's subtle... too subtle for my liking, it might be a guilt-ridden thing, having lost cliff burton... but i have to be a bit deaf guarding a reminder... i have no respect for bands that hide the bass, and bask in rhythm guitars and drums... sorry, but bass guitar is a crucial mediatory medium of what comes after: either solo guitar or the already apparent "stage fright" of vocal exfoliation... and that's truly the case, the most "soap opera" i've seen these days, was staged by my ginger-ninja and my neighbour's ***** when people become too docile to become interesting or entertaining, you revise yourself using animals as a blank slate... and i must be deaf, i can't hear any bass guitar on the majority of metallica's songs... devil's dance is besides the point, being stated; just call me deaf and we'll be ripping a dollar bill to the hush of: evens.

57