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Victoria Feb 2017
Soft grunts of morning love
Anchoring down the blankets
Rolling over begging you
Pet my belly
aar505n Jan 2015
It was at the party that you would see,
the nonconformist spirit of Ernest Hokum was alive and well.
He would not strive for mademoiselles
Since that would be dishonest, and Ernest was a honest man.
Not Iago honest for his desires did not lay doggo.
However, Hokum was known to succumb to a glass of ***
resulting in Hokum to become squiffy.
And any iffy encounters, he would shake them of with his usual aplomb
remaining so calm they thought he was just bored. Or dead.
And then they would leave poor Hokum to his horde of  ***.
"Lord, old chum, thank you for this ***!" Hokum proclaimed.
And he drank til he was famed for his *** drinking.
Thinking they saw him and thought "That's Hokum for you!"
Hokum knew this to be wishful thinking,
and listen to some blues.
Full of innuendos and nonsense.
Hokum's favourite combinations.
He ignored his conscience and allowed the blues to occupy his mind
Dwelling on such twaddle until he finds another distraction.
Probable ***, if he was being honest, which, as previously stated he is.
Hokum didn't take life too serious
for that would be to make life into work
Any work is tedious at best, so why be so serious?
Hokum enjoyed the simple pleasures of strong alcohol and humorous inappropriate songs,
And such that was the hundum life of Ernest Hokum.
A man with a charming smile that spoke blarney with such conviction
turning fiction into facts you would believe it, just for a little while.
Why wouldn't you? That's Hokum for you, afterall.
I like to think we all have a little Hokum in us
Samantha Dec 2017
Anyone here have
Any quesions about the
Latest announcement?

We may be getting
Our first doggo tomorrow
and I'm excited

Each fan role gives you
Access to a special chat
Related to them

So I learned that there's
A website that lets you make
Your own fonts for free

She kept slapping and
Throwing things at me so I
Kissed her and she stopped.

Ahh... yeah. Kind of the
Reason why I thought you were
Older honestly.

Cats walk by putting
Both right feet forward and then
Both left feet forward.

I was unaware
I was being annoying,
My apologies.

But then again, in
That case you can use your socks
To kinda itch them.
A collection of accidental haikus I found. Some were mine, others were said by other people.
JM Romig Feb 2020
It's the first good day in a month.
After two weeks, bedridden
I finally have the energy
To take the dog around the block

She stops to sniff
Every single tree,
Patch of grass,
Stop sign, and telephone pole.

Normally, I'd be annoyed
Angry even
"****** Anna!"
With frustration, I would bawk.

But not today.
It's fifty-five degrees outside
And I'm not in pain
So sniff up enough
- to fill your little doggo soul

Just don't pull so hard.
I know, I know. You don't wanna stop.
Ok, Ok. Just one more time
Around the block.
Carlyy Jun 2017
Meeting my best friend whose first identity was my neighbor

A (friendly) doggo on every corner full of excitement and perhaps joining you on your walk

Feeling so confident that you know how to drive by age 13

The school, YMCA, and grocery store all down one street and up a left or down to the right

Friendly hellos and sweet compliments from fellow town members

The only thing brighter than street lights are the stars on a clear dark night

The smell of a wood stove or campfire burnin in the summer night air

The dirt roads behind the town roughed by ***** ole trucks and four-wheelers

It's not paradise but it's home to the heart
To be more specific, a town on the reservation. Home(:
D Baby Bey Jan 2018
Pup
Why are you so tense my boy?
I can tell by the way you point your nose
Perhaps it brings you a sense of joy
To bark at every leaf that blows
Look at the way that tail does wag.
Seeing you romp, play, and go
How you make my heart so glad
I love you boy; such a good doggo.
deadboycreek Mar 2018
when you were a baby
I gave you a name
called you "hope"
****** dog

I do things for you
that you can't do for yourself
in return you lick my face
when I tell you sit you obey

no words in our arrangement
no room for misunderstanding
you understand tension
sensitive beast

in ten odd years or so
you will be gone
you will be a ghost
and I will miss you so much

your warm body
my brown baby
****** doggo
a friend and a brother
rm Mar 2020
no more time
lesser will
no more hates
lesser tears
no more swears
lesser mistakes
no more scars
lesser darts.

falling out
of the stairway
was the most
hurtful thing
she ever felt.

worse than dying
worse than living
worse than worst
worst of worst.

everyday was filthy,
*****,
teary,
furious,
curious,
woe,
loathe,
gloat?

feli­citous smiles
bargained
additional lies.

feline's wet
with sweats
of the eyes.

doggo's dead,
by the hands
of her love.

he was lost
when she was found.
Macho Mole Mar 2020
Evil lives above me.

Who would have guessed?

And so seductive.

Reaching inside to my own evil.

So I played doggo, I didn't respond.

Evil escalated control, and half by luck, I played dead.

My strength is of the strength of ten, because my heart is pure.
And evil has superhuman strength, with a black heart.
Evil destroyed property, but left me standing.
Receding like a giant tsunami, leaving me behind.

I tell myself I triumphed over evil, but it was mostly luck
I shiver at the thought.
Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch
Bang in the first measure
Came the congenital seizure
Skewing the first invention from scratch.
The campfire skied its sparks
Into the ghost-ridden void,
The skittish tchotchkes
Of paradox and entropy
Quirks and tics as dumb as bricks
Until a headstrong mongoloid
Started groping for rhythm
In the quavering spasms.

Oh, but it was a jawdropper
A bang-up tour-de-force
A horrorshow time-warper
Of Luke and Kirk and spice,
The good apple ran the table
Till the old goat hacked the matrix
And the young hawks did their mind-tricks
Of a tessellated cat’s cradle...
And paparazzi made the odyssey
From planets Claire to Z
To dish how cosmic *******
Trysted protomolecule
As the major ghosted ground control...
In all, a very large array
Of bingeworthy groundhog days.
Lukewarm confabulation
Of the smoking embers
From the essential tremor
Ceaseless oscillation
Between good cop and bad copper.

And the girl scouts chorus
With cheeks full of S’mores
“For all of your fables
Of hobbits and hubbles
And sabering at windmills
You will never untie the volition
Riddled into the convulsion,
Nor how the campfire kindles
Nor be one of us.
You will always ***** the pooch
Halfway to the paw-paw patch.”

Nurse Dipso-Etheromaniac
And Dr. Thorazine-Brainiac
Shoved their two-part invention
Cold turkey into the clockworks,
Cleft lip
Fetal eyes
Flipper-fingered
Riddled with the shakes
Cold-shouldered him to another dimension
Where muggles punk ETs,
And their whiskey wizards
Serve up mock elixirs
Not some hair of the dog to undistemper
The secondhand DTs,
His doggo superpower.

Bill Grogan’s goat
(Bam bam bam bam!)
Was feeling frisky
(Bam bam bam BAM!)
Chased three red skirts
Across the galaxy...
“I knew you were one of the ***** boys
But why do your hands shake like that?
They flipper and gibbet all over the keys”
The sour-smelling teacher spat.

And the mean girls echoed
With tongues of acid
“See how they lurch and squirm!
You will never get to the paw-paw patch
You will never find dear little Susie
She will never teach you to hulu
And you will never two-step
With dear old Johnny
With fists of wiggle worms.”

He touched off the fireworks
Torching all your pomp and cirque
In some skullduggery
Of **** and villainy.
I, Dropout
Outcast
Clonetrooper
Mutineer
Hitched a ride north of the watchtower
Where imperial walkers with hooves of ice
Stomped the land flat, and late-blooming
Summer never shakes the phantom menace
Of the winter that is always coming.

Somewhere in the interstellar distances
Of Kantian prairie perturbed by auroras
Like those night-blooming skyflowers
I glimmered back into existence.
I drank with wildings dropped with the dead
And vaped the contrails of the mad rocketeers
(Kid Rambo, Def Louie, Jedi Freddy and Manny
Steampunk Sal and Wig Out Johnny)
But never found sweeter ******
Than the next bridge to burn.
I, callow flamethrower
Of Shiva, the destroyer.

Marshall Gunpowder Jehoshaphat Miller
The bad apple of the force
Hatchet-faced and porkpied
Dead by ****** suicide
Born again old-schooler,
Packing halitosis
From ossified canon
Skywalked me down.
Gospeled me like Luke
And knee-capped me with a curse
Shame; the oldest mind-trick in the book.
I served out my prodigality
In Ludovico therapy
Which for a half-life, somewhat took.

Headlong into retrograde
I crashed the zero-sum arcade
Fed a quarter into the supercollider
And with some crazy tic of the wrist
Spooked the ball’s trajectory
So it champagne supernovaed
And spat out the shabby ghost
Of a birthright lottery.
Thirteen golden statues.
But as the digits flipped
And the mission crept
As it does to one and all
Faster than a cannonball
I flashed back to renegade.

And the made girls chorused,
With cheeks full of Botox,
From their partial-view suites
And partner-track perks
Of bottomless cups
Of shut the **** up,
“You nearly made the grade, you!
But then you had to mouth off job-hop Hulk
Out, which finally betrayed you.
Now Security Guard Miller
Will escort you off the premises
For a reckoning with your nemesis
Regret, the silent killer.”

True, for a season I was a bluepilled moon
Marooned with space junk
And cypherpunk
Doomscrollers
Of deadend might-have beens,
Like the lunar sonata’s
Primal whisper of futility,
Until it tripolars
Into ultraviolent agitato
And hits escape velocity

Now loosed from orbit of the Goldilocks planet
I tumble through space in dumbstruck rapture
Of hurricaned stars and thundercloud nebula
I tremble in the thousand-parsec stare
Of the headless horde of dark riders
That stampede the stony hobbits,
Through the looking-glass of lightyears past
I see monstrous galaxies in ungainly copulation
Blushing Hiroshimas of atrocious release
And multi-sunned planets where misbegotten
Beings shudder into self-consciousness,

While I drift toward the event horizon
To be gobbled into the enigma
With a little gasp of gamma
Hammerstricken wires frisson.
Where the eleventh measure of the first invention
Counterclockwise corkscrews
Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch,
After a very long array of groundhog days
My skeleton crew bunch into alignment
Like that hunch of spooky entanglement
Or just possibly like that eternal dissonance
Quelled by a quanta of true arrogance,

In a clockwork grotto
Grows a chrysalis F-sharp
Where fingers at last Goldilock
Into queasy equilibrium,
To my dumb surprise
The dark sac butterflies
And there is Susie
A little tipsy
On hard compatibilism,
With hips of pulsars
And hands of auroras
She hulus like the time warp
Not spasm without rhythm
But otherworldly vibrato.
On the infinitely big and infinitesimally small, and deeply personal.
Jay earnest Oct 2023
I'm gonna take a screwdriver
and jam it into her eye socket
and then
take pliers
and twist her tongue
until it's unhinged from the jaw

I'll then pour acid down her throat
and **** her ***
while she squeels in agony

then I'll
make some pancakes
for my doggo
Jim Jim
and he can eat the leftovers

then I'll do it again maybe
and then some day I can smile with Jehovah

— The End —