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yogirlturkey Sep 2018
it felt like my heart and soul were right next to each other
falling out of my chest slowly
painfully...
it hurt more than it ever did out of just realizations
i couldn't walk
i felt like throwing myself on the wood floor of the entrance of my new home
it felt like there was a black hole inside me
literally...
"come on open your present"
i don't answer because of the ******' pain
i throw myself on my bed and keep crying and crying...
"hey, open your gift!"
i don't bother to answer just to see if she'll come and comfort me
i left my door open on purpose
"hey, do you want to open your gift?" she sees me crying and sighs
she lays down next to me, hugs me and sighs once again
me?
i'm still crying and i don't really know the reason why yet
"what did he say to you that made you cry this hard?"
i cry harder and i can barely breathe
i stop just to answer
i think twice before saying what 'i want' to say, but i don't care at this point
i should be able to express myself 'exactly' how i feel it, so then i say...
"he's just a ******' *******"
this isn't really a poem but i wanted to put it out there, i hope you can feel it with just my words and explanation. :)
c Jan 14
My father
Has been a Man
All his life
And I capitalize Man
Because his terms
Of masculinity
Include being
The Man

He doesn’t like the word
“No”
Unless it’s in his voice
And under his control

Control is his ego
I think
He likes a grip on everything
So tight it chokes us
And he wonders why
I’m slipping away
AKIKO Oct 2017
Dear Daddy,
Why do you have to leave me when I was so young?
I need you always here by my side
You are so selfish for leaving me I'm nine
Thought's and memories isn't enough dad
I don't even have a clue that life is tough
10 years passed
I'm nineteen today
I'm still missing the man I used to call Daddy
Now I'm blowing my candle wishing all the times back
The times that I had a father who thought me how to smile
..............
Now I realized
That My Hero
Is gone
Evelyn Genao Feb 2018
… close!
They’re close!
What do I do?
CloserI’m not ready.
CloserI don’t want this.
CloserHelp me.
CloserI’m too late.  
They’re here.

Rotten teeth,
Greasy hair,
Alcohol breath with a mix of tobacco,
Eyes that abandoned all emotion.

Why did I think I could push down my fear?
How naive I was!
I see it’s fist clenched and come up.
SMACK!
I’m knocked to the floor.
My cheek red and swollen.
They do it again,
And again,
And again,
And again.

I scream and plead for them to stop, but they don’t.
They never do.
Next, is feet.
Kick
Punch
Kick
Punch
Then repeat.

A ruby liquid is enveloping around me.
Getting bigger,
And bigger,
And bigger.
No matter what I do or how hard I push or how loud I scream, they continue harder.
It’s laughing… at my pain.
A laugh that will forever haunt me.

My vision… blurry.
My head pulsating.
I know… I’m going to die.
If the cause for all this would have been different then would I have had a better life?

They suddenly stopped and I thought it was over.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I felt a hand, their hand slide up my shirt.
No!
Going to my bra and squeezing the outside. They licked their lips as if they enjoyed the look of horror swells up in my eyes.  
No!
Wrapping the very same hand around my back and clips off my bra.
NO!
Pushing up both my bra and shirt, they flicked my ******, twisting it between their fingers.
NO!
NO!
NO!
NO!
I don’t want this!
I push harder, I don’t want to die like this.
Screaming louder, hoping someone can hear my cries for help, my throat burning for some water.

They gave a hard slap to my face, adding onto the countless bruises, as a warning to shut up and then continued to feel me up.
Crimson drops flow freely down my bruised face and into the puddle beneath me.
My bones growing tired and the strength I had, in the beginning, is slowly depleting, but I can’t give up.

Light.
I can see it.
I can see her, walking out with pure wings strapped to her,
looking even more heavenly than the last time I saw her.

I look up and into the eyes of the person on top of me.
I can feel their other hand reaching for my pants.

“I love you,” I whisper, my voice raspy.
They stop and meet my eyes, confused.
“Even if you hate me. I know you think it’s my fault she died
and punish me for it. I let you because I thought so too.”
Their face is cloudy. My vision growing blacker.

“Since she died, I’ve put up with this abuse and I knew she wouldn’t have wanted me to hate you, even as you do this.
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I took her from you.
You will always hate me for what I have done.
I don’t blame you if you do.
I can’t go back and fix what has been done.
You don’t know how much I wish it was me instead.”

The eyes that had been dead, since her, softened.
“I need you to do something for me. For us.
We need you to live like we never entered your life.
We both want you to be happy, but if you keep holding onto the past,
you never will. Do not mourn over us.”
My vision is going in and out and the light is getting brighter.  

“I love you, daddy.”
I feel water falling on my face.
He’s crying. He cares.
My heart starts to slow down and skin grows cold.

I run to her, to mom, and jump into her awaiting arms.
Tears of joy.
I close my eyes and wait for the darkness to take over.
The last of my words cascaded out of my stained lips,
Goodbye, daddy.”
It might not be the best but I hope you like it and tell me what you think!!!
thelemonpolice Aug 2018
I didn’t want to talk about this
It feels cliché
Like a muslim boy
telling his parents he’s ***

No I didn’t want to write about this
Its not okay
I feel overused
As a song; overplayed

But the truth is I need to
I need to address
Address is the same place
I do rest my head

And my head isn’t rested
I have 20 thoughts
Or more when I’m resting
I feel so contorted

The truth is I have issues
And really who doesn’t?
If you talked to a counsellor
Would you feel confident?

But today I met friends
Who are doing just fine
said I wasn’t jealous
And that was a lie

Because this isn’t fair
How you grew up like this
How your home is your home
And you always felt safe

It just isn’t fair
That I didn’t get that
That I didn’t get
Healthy and positive chat

I don’t mean to be bitter
I mean no disregard
to your life, but it’s strange
How shuffled the cards

It’s scary how scarred
A person can be
From events that occurred
Not so recently

How do I accept love
If it is not in my nature?
I was brought up by a
Suffering, cruel creature

Who pushed everyone away
And twisted my words
And laid hands on me
Didn’t let me be heard

Friend, how do you date
And feel so secure?
I’m clingy, they string me
It never endures

And how do you talk
And feel like you mean it?
Everything I say
I feel so defeated.

And how do you dress
And act so confidently?
I feel like a fraud
It shows prominently

And how do you travel
And explore the world?
The anxiety I feel
Makes me want to hurl

but I know we are different
I know I feel deep
I know I have issues
I know that they creep

Up on me and I fall
Into states of despair
And replay my past
Takes me months to repair

You’ve not been depressed
You’ve not seen all the things
That honestly make me
Question everything.

Maybe I shouldn’t compare
My entire life
To your different hardships
and dealing with life

I just wonder how different
I would have been
If my parents just cared
A bit more about me

I said it was cliché
it feels crap to write down
But honestly that’s
What’s getting me down

But I guess I must end
On a positive spin?
I wouldn’t be me
If it weren’t for them.

I wouldn’t be writing
I wouldn’t be sad
But you wouldn’t be reading
So, I am slightly glad
I don't like this poem, I feel like it is laced with self pity, but it's how I feel sometimes, so I had to write it down.
Hey it's her Jul 2015
the human soul is a treacherous place
he threw me here; my mission is to pretend..

pretend that the night has settled
pretend that this is the final stage
pretend that this is what it's meant to evolve into
pretend that i'm okay.

i watched the world give up on me
cored these lungs away.
cast me out to sea as if i were a mare human being
he took away what i thought wasn't much of a heart anyway.

heavenly to have a dark pit bestowed in me
heavenly to be carefree

but what am i supposed to do;
when the best part of me was always you?

-Inside H. Cranium
The Spider Apr 2017
When I was very little, my dad used to make up songs about what he was doing around the house.
Getting ready to go fishing, he'd make up a song.
Making lunch; he'd make up a song.
And once, he was making coffee, and I vaguely remember it.
My dad was holding me while he was pouring the coffee into the coffee filter,
The water in the coffee ***.
I remember him looking at me and smiling and then he sang:
"I love coffee," he'd sing and I'd echo with what he'd sing.
"Coffee every day,"
"When I wake in the morning,"
"It gets me on my way."

-J
I love you dad. Even all of your weird embarrassing songs.
Gingers' Ginger Jul 2013
Once when I was younger
I had a broken heart
I couldn't find all the pieces
I didn't know where to start
The rain started pouring
Just in time to hide my tears
I was crying for you Daddy,
Wishing you were here
To show me Real daddy's Love
And how it's supposed to feel
To be a "Daddys Little Princess"
And how to tell when the love is real
I looked for you everywhere
Sometimes
all day and night
I'd even think I'd found you
But it was never you or right
I prayed you'd hear my calling,
We would reunite at last
Well eventually I found you Dad,
But our time had already passed
Still I kept on searching
There might be someone else
Who'd share a part of you with me and offer me some help
As the years went by I collected pieces along the way
I still I felt a little empty
But I still hoped and prayed
One day a prayer was answered Dad
Much to my surprise
Aunt Mel and cousin Donna
Had found my desperate pleas online
Through them I've got to know you
Thank God they found me too
I get to see another side of me
And a part of me that's you
My heart is on it's way now Dad
And all I can say
is that you've got my Mom in Heaven now too - so wishing you Happiest of Birthdays today
❤️
a poem for my dad I never got to meet edited for his birthday 4/23 -
dear daddy,
this is to inform you of the up-coming
arrival. have you remembered? you better
have!! you're a BIG part of this special
happening. you're my "daddy". you don't
have to listen to other peoples' advice-
follow your own, i bet its' the best. i am
YOUR baby!
there's nothing anyone can do to hurry up
and get me out of this dark lonely place,
is there? i can hear you, feel your warmth,
your pressure, and recognize your voice.
what else could i do, but absolutely
love you?
mommy loves you, too. she's constantly telling
me "mommy and daddy love you". i believe her!
and when you rub over me and say "ELISHA, i love you"
it makes me feel so good.
you are going to be a good daddy to me. i
just know it!! i can tell already. i'm glad
you'll be in the room when i'm born. i really
wanna see how you look. i wanna see it for myself.
mommy says you're **** good lookin' should i
believe her or just hope for the best in you?
no matter what i think of you, i know "i luv u".
you've got to be the best person to be my daddy
or mommy wouldn't have picked you to have me with,
or she wouldn't have accepted your perposal back
in july last year. yeah, mommy's told me all
about that. and one more thing before mommy catches
me with my hands out of here again, you can't hurt me.
i love the feeling. knowing you do love her is the greatest.
i love you dada!!

love your little girl,
your daughter,
Elisha Teres~

1988

COPYRIGHT; Sabrina Denise Healey,
~Angelmom~
dear daddy,
you won't recognize that title for a
few more months still, but yet it is me.
this is "your baby"!
i can recognize your voice, though.
just this morning, i asked mommy, "where's my daddy?" mommy said, "i'm not even sure."
she then explained to me about you helping 'america'
put out a disasterous fire.

"memo of love"

i am writing to tell you that i care...
let's get to know each other better.
this morning, i showered a brilliant sunrise
with all the colors of the rainbow into your eyes,
hoping to get your attention. but you hardly noticed!
that afternoon, as you sat with your friends, i warmed you in sunshine...
flowers still blooming with God's love. yet, you didn't notice me!
i wanted to speak with you so i shook the world
with my heart of wonder and made you a beautiful rainbow.
yet, you never noticed me!
tonight, i tried desperately to move you with a full moon
to lighten your sad face and a cool breeze to delight you.
you wouldn't believe your eyes, unless you heard it from me...
i even put you and mommy's star out,
hoping to see a warming smile upon your face
you never looked up!
in your sleep, i gave you
your dreams so lovely that a smile then appeared on your face.
i was amazed!
i'm here to watch over you, to guide you,
to reassure mommy, and to love you.
when you are ready for me,
please remember i'm waiting for you, in the care of mommy's love
for the both of us!!!
she loves you daddy-
and take care, i'll be watching you!!!

love, your little one,
"your baby"

1988

COPYRIGHT; Sabrina Denise Healey,
~Angelmom~
dear daddy,
hello, its your baby!
i have kept your star
out since that one night
in august. mommy can even
see you. she sure does miss
you. all i mainly hear from
her is "i love your daddy!"
she's very proud of you.
bye daddy, i'm busy trying to take an early
morning nap. mommy has the sniffles. she's up & down
constantly for another tissue. she keeps disturbing me.
mommy has sat for a few- think i'll take advantage
of it.

love, your little baby,
take care- i'm watching you!!

1988

COPYRIGHT; Sabrina Denise Healey,
~Angelmom~
Evelyn Genao Mar 2018
"Please, daddy!"
You were walking so fast.
Too fast for my little feet to keep up.
Was it that easy for you to leave me?

You heard my tear-filled screams, but you never stopped.
You just kept going.
Farther and farther away, not even trying to get one last look at me.
I punched, pulled, and pushed trying to make you stop.
You didn’t.
You just kept going.
Leaving me behind.
"Please don’t leave me!"

Pain.
I remember it too well.
The heart throbbing pain.
We watched as you left.
Me and mommy.
My eyes were wet.
Hers were dry, cold.
As if she knew this would happen.

I looked into mommy's eyes.
Her brown eyes tangled with lies.
Lying to me for you.
How long do I have to wait for you before you realize that what you did was a mistake? What was the reason you stayed away for so long?
Was it all the stupid crap you did in the past or is it because you don’t want me anymore?

Since you left, I dreamed of your return.
The day you would wrap me in your arms and whisper in my ear,
"I'm sorry for what I did. I promise I will never leave you again,
my little Cookie Monster
."
Then I wake up, hoping to see you.
Praying that it wasn’t all a dream.
But reality soon caught up, and the dream quickly died.

I remember all the tears I had rushing down my face
as I saw you leave me and mommy behind, to never return.
I'm so incomplete without you, I need my daddy back in my life.
You deceived me, you said you would always be there.
You pinky promised.
You broke your promise.
How can I trust you again?

Do you still think of me as your "cookie monster" or
a daughter you never loved, a daughter you could leave behind without a single goodbye in the blink of an eye? I wish you were here to watch me grow up but we both know that will never happen.

"I miss you so much! Won’t you please come back to me, daddy?
I just need to see your face one last time
."
Am I that disappointing I need to work to make you love me?

Hey, daddy even if you don’t love me I will always love you no matter what happens.
I bet you didn't even think about how I would feel when you left.
No, you only thought of yourself like you always do.

You missed all my birthdays, first dates, father-daughter dances,
and you may even miss my wedding, not that you even care.
Did you know that I would wait for the postman to bring the mail and check to see if there was a letter for me? But there never was.
I eventually stopped going, knowing nothing was there for me.  

"Well, daddy looks like you really didn't care about me buts it's in the past. Now I have a family who loves me, stays with me, and likes for who I am.
I don't need you anymore
.”

Daddy, I still need you. Please, come back.
When I was 6, my dad was deported to the Dominican Republic. I remember visiting him in prison before he was booted out of the country. I was only a child then and I don't remember much but the pain is still there. I didn't ever write down my feelings until my English teacher assigned the class a project where we had to write a poem about a struggle that impacted our lives. It was not the best and as the years went by I would add more to it, pouring my heart and soul into it. I think the day presented my poem to the class was the day that I wanted to become a writer. I hope you love this and be sure to comment your thoughts on it. Also, check out my other poems!!
BABBY DADDY

in your tiny hand
I become a crayoned man
much better than I am

Bluetack'd to the fridge
I an icon
made holy by my child

"I love my b a bb y!"
you name me in rainbow
all my "d's" look the other way
Bella Jul 2018
I don't have any pretty song floating around in my head like leftovers from my childhood
but I have Reno

"when I was a baby
my momma told me son
Now always be a good boy
and don't ever play with guns
but I shot a man in Reno
just to watch him die
now when I hear that whistle blowing
I hang my head and cry

now when I was a baby
my mama told me son
now always be a good boy
and don't ever play with guns
but I shot a man in Reno
just to watch him die
now when I hear that whistle blowing
I hang my head and cry"

and I do
I Cry
and I Cry
my tears they take me back to a Time when my daddy sang even when I didn't want him to
My tears they take me back to a Time when everything was peachy
and I didn't have a single worry
I was so free
and I wrote of those x with every new year
I wrote of crying
tears and memories they come together
wrapped in a bow
inseparable
I wrote a song
several years ago I sang

"so dad,
if it's not too much
won't you sing a song
for me
Take out your guitar
I just want to hear your melody"

and I Cry
and I Cry
and the tears take me back
to every song we ever sang
every word or hum mumbled through my lips with eyes closed
deep in the music
like it was the only thing on my mind
every song my dad ever played
strumming his guitar like a harp
and I Cry
and I Cry
and the tears take me back
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