Laid here counting roof tiles...

two at a time

my eyes heavy
but my lids in denial
of sleep

she whispers in my ear

are you awake
then adds
good
with a grin

WHY NOT abandon one basic need
for another
why not rest
upon anothers flesh
soft and warm
scented with the promise
of dreams
insomnia so cruely denies

Pillow pressed beneath her back
giving support
so sorely needed
amid the punctuated night time prayers

God called upon in blasphemous tongues
praised and cussed
in unison of mouths wet and open

Sheets that offer no warmth soon cast off
replaced by heat of breath
and perspiration sweet and salty
to the lips
kissing
nibbling
biting
nails find no fault inscribing thank yous
in reddened ink

Falling back exhausted yet wide awake
as by my side
cuddled in she sleeps
smiling

and I close my eyes and think myself blessed
for every night the first
for we two
have yet to sleep
together.

Entering the void with rainy eyes induced by the manipulating agent who was undercover under her covers. And as the rush came this lush dame was soon abandon in the emptiness which were her hopes and dreams/ she could not cope but scream in the darkness that now became her home. She graps at truth but it eludes her, only the false promises that were pumped into her heart remain. They whisper to her constantly, spewing poison in a fading mind, eviserated spirit; body laying in twisted sheets staring at a pitch black celling that reminds her of the heart that was cruely tricked and abandoned longing for the simpler times, but is now choked by the thorns of lost love.  Faith fades, confusion takes hold of once unshakable consciencness of oneself, paradise is lost; a dystopia now surrounds a once blissful secure island of Elysian splendor. Left alone, scorned; this furious angel is being driven maddingly insane by the cold silence that has taken the place of a loving embrace. A million thoughts and questions flood her mind but only one replays itself, "why"? And each time a tiny piece of her heart falls into her hand and slips out of the cracks like grains of sand. But this once radiant muse that would make even the mighty aphrodite envious must pull herself together for the burning light of reality is shining through the darkness cutting through revealing the vacancy which she did not think was possible and face the truth that her thoughts were not her own, but a well contructed fairy tale told from the parasitic snake that fed off her passionate trusting heart. She cries for release to come soon, but alas a new day is steady approaching and now she must hide that pain with a untruthful smile to take attention from the empty void left in her chest; as for the rest? That is unknown......

You've taken every Dream i've had
Laid waste to every plan
cruely taken all i've Loved.
Left me in this Godforsaken land,

When I called out in the night
while in hot writhing agony
with a troubled heart unconsoled
Why did you not answerer me?

When I begged you take this pain
from my aching breast
I felt the arrow through my heart
Blood pouring from my chest,

I Prayed to you a thousand times
and pled a million more
Why leave these fiery beasts
Banging,busting down my door?

You left me in the dark
with Demons and no control
I couldn't help but think at last
this my death bell toll.

You left my life to Satan
when I did but beg release
and like a fool I still Prayed
for my Soul--Abiding Peace

You left my prayers unanswered
night after night- No Reply
What did I ever do to you
That even my death you would deny,

As silent tears run down my cheeks
I will Pray to you No More!
I realize you have Forsaken me
and left Demons at my door.

they told me I couldn't love you
not in the way one would expect
but from snide comments and laughter
the cruely of homophobic friends
not bad people, just confused about what's right

but all I wanted to do was hold you tight
and feel the echo of your bones as we stayed up all night again
in our rightful place together
I never thought it'd be them,
with their judgemental jokes and comments
I thought they would come to their senses
wouldn't they? They're my friends after all
they're not bad people
just confused and with their confusion
the words they produce burn souls and snap bones
they crush dreams and shove people into the dark

it's from the people I know best
the guardians of my own heart
and the keepers of every breath I breathe

but how can they guard and keep my breath
if they can't save my love?
All I need is you, to hold me tight
until my bones break and my tears
are full of blood and happiness

we can guard eachother's breaths until they
slowly run out floating into the lost souls eyes
and staying there forever,
while we lay there with our faces upwards,
a river of our love,
a river that runs red late into the night

I still miss you, sometimes.
In the aching quiet of the night
When my thoughts wander to the smiles
And the laughs, and kisses.

I remember how you looked at me,
Like I was the answer to a thousand questions
I know you answered all of mine
Or at least, you did at the time.

You taught me lessons.
Like how to sing freely,
And how to love
Both openly and cruely.

I'm starting to forget your voice
And the way your hand fit in mine.
The smell of your skin
Has long since been washed from my sheets

I know we'll never be friends
You don't want to see me again.
And that's alright.
Thanks for the adventure.

By: Cedric McClester

The men and women
Who wear blue
Risk their lives
For me and you
With some exceptions
But here’s what’s true
Most do the job
They were hired to do

So if one goes down
In the line of duty
At the hands of some ****
Who shoots ‘em cruely
I can’t help but morn
I mean that truly
And I pray for their soul
So go ahead and sue me

The men and women
Who risk their lives
To serve and protect
That some despise
Deserve our respect
We should realize
What a tragedy it is
When one of ‘em dies

So for those who have
I say rest in peace
Cos one day I know
The violence will cease
Unfortunately now
It appears to increase
So I pray for those
We call the police









Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2015.  All rights reserved

Mirror, mirror
On the wall
Who’s the fairest of them all?

This cracked reflection
Haunts me,
Taunts me.
Do they see,
What I see?
If they do,
Lie to me.
This beast before me,
Knows no love.

Oh twisted mirror,
You’ve ruined me so.
They see a pretty face,
With a precious glow.
And if I dare to look
I tremble at the image
You cruely bestow.

Mirror, mirror
On the wall,
Tears knock me
To my knees
Forever I’ll crawl.

This world
takes you
and holds you
and shows you all that you could have.
Then it forsakes you
and throws you,
cruely,
into the bone crushing groundswell,
the fountains,
the wells,
and tells you to sink or swim.
Do or die.
Survival of fittest.
and you curse the sky.

O Human give me love
O beautiful girls give me love
Where is priceless,matchless,countless love in the Universe.
Their is no measure's,no wall,no limits, no boundaries in love.
But we human's cross every limits, breaks every tradition in love.
We betray our loved ones
We do not remain faithfull to our loved one's.
But we find our love in strange streets, blue and red streets.
Roaming here and there for love.
At last not least
We **** our loved one's love  very cruely
O my love, there is no love between us.
World and Universe are full with technology and money minded
But their is no place for love and beloved one's.

Little red riding hood
Running through the forest
Doesn't even see the wolf
She doesn't feel his presence

Little red is rumored to
Have senses keen and quick
But she doesn't feel his pounding paws
Or hear the snapping of a stick

All she thinks is "Get to grandma's
"Before it turns dark"
But he's sneaking his way to her
Blending in with the tree bark

Her heart is pumping up a storm
From all the adrenaline
While he is hiding in the bushes
His stare is quite intense

Just before she can stroll by
He pounces from position
And strikes her with his paw so hard
She loses her ambition

Seeing death before it comes
She curls into herself
Her life just flashes cruely
To where all she thinks is "help"

A bang as loud as thunder
Echos hauntingly to her ears
And she flinches away from where
The wolf should have been, submitting to her worst fears

A gentle voice calls Little Red's name
And she snaps her head up fast
Seeing a dead wolf lying there
All she can think is "at last"

Remembering the person who'd called her name
She witnessed a scene of her grandmother
Slowly lowering the tip of a gun
And giving her a smile like no other

"Well done, grandmother," Red quickly cheered
Clapping her hands as she stood
But her grandmother shook her head and sighed to herself
"You've got dirt all over your hood."

It begins with a thought a glimpse of the past slowly transcending into a ride. I begin to realize that I'm loosing ahold of reality like the ripples in water from a drop of time falling down upon its suttle nature. I'm looking up at the stars as if there's a message for me or a beautiful escape to distract myself from the coughs and the clouds burning inside of me that I create with the lungs I treat so cruely night after night. Breath after breath the clouds surrond me as if to enclose myself in a place without fear or Worry, without pain or sorrow. These grey clouds whisper in my ear explaining how things work and filling me with questions. I count down starting from three and with each blink I descend deeper and deeper to only be brought up higher. I blink hard, I'm looking down upon a  child who's seen so much, who's felt too much, who's going through so much hes tryng to cry to wash away and let go of his pain but all his tears have already been spent long ago. So he inhales the grey clouds and with each breath he takes his eyes begin to wonder, his mind is rather occupied by the memories, overflowing and drowning all at once. I blink a second time, The clock strikes midnight, time takes its toll and with each second I'm falling back to where it all began, I try to claw my way back up but the clouds have disappeared no longer there to float me back up to the gates of heaven. I feel a hole in my stomach as I lick my lips, I realize the music has ceased to move in me so I remove the technology from my ears and begin to listen to the hunger in my stomach instead, forevermore growing stronger and heavier, a hunger that strikes me like lightning whenever i get a hint of its aroma in the crisp and cold air, an aroma that reminds me of what it was like to taste heaven and forget about all the people that have died, all the beatings I've endurerd. A little boy still trapped inside of a growing mans body.  The feeling to be separated from the part of him that's still scared stirs in his heart like an ocean filled by tears and years. I blink again, time speeds back up my thoughts cease to crowd me I realize and visualize what it was like so see the stars move contemplating and waiting impatiently until the grey clouds return .

"Smothered Love"

Don't make me any more promises from ur mouth of swelling  lies. Go ahead and say u hate me more and dry those fake tears from ur eye's.

Talk to ur ****** men when I'm away or my back is turned. And show me all that sluty deceit of being a ***** that u have learn.

Watch me as I get eaten by my sickness to a weakness of no coming back. As the sore and wounds forget to heal and my strength becomes slack.

Look in my dying eyes as I lay upon my long awaited death bed. Smother the air slowly out of me with a pillow u hold and pushed tightly around both sides of my head.

Watch me as I die the death that I dreamed and spoke of for so long. Then rejoice in ur laughter as my last breath is cruely and painfully pushed away with a weak *** grone.

.

Fragile, you say?
And that may partly be true,
but defenseless? I am not.
Weak? Possibly—
Scared? Definetely.
Even so, my body will try—
I will try—
everything pushes so I could be alive,
every single cell
wants me alive,
people that love me
want me alive...
I want to stay alive.
So as you hammer at my shield
and twist my thoughts cruely,
just know that I am not defenseless—
and I might give in,
but not without a fighting chance.

I will try until the very last second
because the only person wants this
is you.

The first thing you see
The thing I despise,
I'm trying to cope with
To say I am is a lie.

I'll admit to be better
Than back when I spent
All my time concerned with
What meal might come next

I've treated you cruely
Both inside and out,
I thought you deserved it
I know I'm wrong now

My body, my body
I promise to love,
At least try to be kind to
And heal these old wounds

I tried to **** it
But if came back to life
I tried to choke it
But it refused to die
I took my car and ran it over
But it just gave  me a smile
I tried to drown it
But it kept on breathing
I left it dying
But it went back to being
I pushed it in front of a moving train
But no luck as of yet, it still remains
One time I locked it in a room that had no door
But it managed to escape and punish me some more
I left it in the middle of nowhere
But it refused to get lost
I pushed it down a flight of stairs
But that only ****** it off
I poured gasoline on it and lit a match
But it refused to burn and proceeded to laugh
I tired to convince it, it doesn't exist
It refused to believe me, then cruely hissed
I tried to bury it deep underground
But it dug a way out thru a hole it found
I tried to shoot it in the chest
But of course it was wearing a bulletproof vest
My list of premeditated plans of the destruction of "it"
Has not gone well, in fact the opposite!