I haven't felt this low
In my life
I don't understand
What's wrong with people
And what's right with the world

I'm a mess and hard
But you come around to understand
You aren't like them,
You seem to care
But only when you're here

I want to feel youthful
With you
Bend my body in ways
The others can't do

Show you love and warmth

But it isn't like that,
You seem different but the same
Can you picture it?
Me with your name

It's too soon,
You don't feel it

He shows up if
I let you go
Or I can wonder why
My new worth isn't enough

I want to buy it,
Dress sexy for you
Call you daddy and
Touch you in ways that are new

But he isn't you

He has someone new,
Someone better than I could ever do
So what's stopping me
From diving headfirst
Into another lifelong regret
To see if you love me too?

You make my heart beat,
Would you like to feel it?
I already know how this goes,
The way it's written...
By me

But stop for a minute,
Understand I'm just like
Any fucked up human

I care but I won't
Ever consider twice at playing games
Do you understand?
I won't fall until you do,
I picture us a year from now
But I won't verbally tell you

My chest tightens
But he isn't here
Do I let it go and hope for the best?
You said I'm crazy,
I heard it myself
You don't know crazy
Until I show you it myself

But I can be you're daydream,
Talking shit so sweet
Or would you want to know the real me?
Because I care.

I'm socially awkward,
I have trust issues that grow
I don't know the difference between
Fast and slow

Care to show me what's right?
Between what I wrote and
How it feels to picture us
On a roller coaster ride of your life
Three years down the line?

If you consider what was done
Anywhere different than me
I would attempt and fail
At feeling sorry for you

If you think it's what I deserved,
I'd simply ask how it's your place
To ever consider that for me
A tale as old as time,
Two wrongs do not make a right
You'll get yours too

Like I have time and time again,
By people dragging a dead horse around
The stench slows me down,
Kills me a little every time

Any line of view is better
Than the face I want to punch,
You were just like everyone else
So I'll tell you the same thing too

You're not above me,
You never were and you never will be
You were just another disappointment
In the long list of them

The equivalent of another shout out
If I ever decide to grow the backbone
It so rightfully takes
To end it all

Fuck You.

Look
Who's
Nonexistent
Now
That
I
Found
It

Replaced me
Or
The replacer?

A swirl of clouds
And thundering rain,
Winds ungodly and
The stench of fear and death

It is done,
Unthought of all
The memories created there
Families and love stories

I dreamt a dream,
It was us two
At Disney and universal
You asked me as a ride was ending,

"Are you having fun?"
And I couldn't look at your face
But I timidly said,

"Mostly because you are here"
And I kissed you
Where the mouth ends and cheek begins
And you vanished as I pulled back

It was over like
A hurricane and a waterpark
A memory of us
In the tunnel of love
For children who hasn't
Seen each other in a year

But you knew it was me
And I felt this pull,
I knew I would disappoint
Like I did that day
Climed to the top of Black Hole,

I remembet it now

And it was our turn,
I cried because I couldn't see
I cried because of the height
And the unknown
So my mother took me down

We went to the wave pool
And it was of luck,
Just a wave of destiny

Because I hadn't seen you
In what seemed like forever,
I wanted you there because I was alone
But you were here in the water

You were here and
I felt like home

Now it's gone
The tunnel and a piece of
Black Hole remains

What if I never cried?
Would you have looked at me still?

It's childish to remember
But you were it
And now I'm in a wave pool
Alone

Where's the tunnel?
Where's the scary ride?
The embarrassment of being scared?

You knew me
Better than anyone else,
You still do

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