'i couldn't care less about him really'
'i am not even serious about him'
'it's just a big fat crush, you know'
'it will easily pass by, don't worry'

i want to say all that
with a straight face
but i'll be lying if i did
i'd be playing myself bad

i'm tired hiding under a mask
where I have to pretend
that I love you less
than I already do—  I don't.

— you mean everything to me

Sometimes I wish
My pencil will break
and that my heart will finally choose rest
little one, aren't you exhausted?
Of how the world give you thoughts
that makes you run and run to the void
When will this head of mine
come back down the clouds?
Till when will these eyes stay
blinded by a reality far from truth?

Sometimes I want to blame this heart
for taking in too much, too much
excessively from what it can ought to take
I want to hold a grudge, for it ever falling
to wonders that tears itself from reality
Don't strange, delicate things
draws us humans more onto it?
Why am I so eerily drawn
to such things far off this planet?
A dream that's far from my grasp.
So far off.

Won't somebody, anybody, I beg
wake me up from this dream already?

— shatter me already

sometimes my dear
I feel sorry for the times I lean
towards such light like you
like a firefly lured, I am blinded
by your shimmering glow

why do I only reach out to you
whenever I feel lonely in his arms?
but then you can provide me the warmth
his hands isn't able to give into mine

how could I even appreciate a sun like you
only when the moon is already at peak at night?

all these times, you've only brought me hope
you made my heart soar miles
it fluttered farther than ever before
you've brought me sunshine beyond compare

my knight, your back stands safety and comfort
your eyes resembles the sharp edges of the stars
but then your smile radiates a thousand suns
you are the sunshine to my beating heart

how many times should I learn
that you are always there for me
you have always been
even if it's clouded in the distance
you're always at bay

Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

i write because paper
always listens

Two shooting stars.
Two wishes.
Two chances.

I saw two shooting stars tonight.
First, as usual, I wished for you,
for me, for us to become true.

Then, I wished for me to stop
wishing for the impossible--
that I'd stop wishing for you.