When you try to find the one
You end up with nothing but pain
and absolute agony with a hint of despair
You end up trying to change yourself for
someone you're not sure exists
You try and try and try
To be perfect, the perfect match
The perfect piece to that glorious pair
You try, but somehow you find yourself
failing, falling in misery and an anguish
you cannot bear

The only bond between us was the illusion of what could have been.
A lie that I kept in my heart like a prayer that I believed in.
Just a delusion of finding someone, who could have, would have, understood me beyond the touch of my skin.
But, once the smoke cleared I found myself again standing in the shadows of a hope that was never there.

Love is that fine line
between heaven and hell,
took me to heaven
and now it keeps
dragging me down to hell.

You never loved her. What you really loved is the way she made you feel, like the whole universe collapsed and nothing was left for her to live for but you. The way she made her existence revolve around you. How she made you forget the worst in you and always knew how to bring out the best in you. So don't you dare saying that you loved her, because when she left that day you didn't move an inch to get back that so-called love you were almost always bragging about.

I have a cold heart,
and whenever I try to
find a glimpse of
warmth I end up
setting it on fire.

The creative soul
never rests, as it
keeps longing
to create.

Remember how
the United States
tried to go back to
isolationism after
the great war, but ended
up caught in a more
deadly and
catastrophic war?
That's exactly how
I feel right now.
I just want to build
Ford automobiles and
washing machines, but instead
I'm shooting Atomic
bombs across
the Pacific.

Truth be told,
I'm a cold hearted *******.
Love was never meant for me,
but you'll always find it in my writings.

Beauty fades,
but a heart of gold
will never rust away.

Love yourself,
cherish your self-worth,
& most importantly
forgive.
Forgive for yourself
& not for anyone else,
because nothing
will haunt your existence
like the memory
of a wound that didn't mend.

Great things
always end
in catastrophe.
Like the war
depression
love
& us.

Sometimes all you need is to
isolate yourself from the world's
madness retreat back to a place
where you can recognize yourself
again and take a moment and
start thinking about yourself and only yourself, the decisions
you've made, admit your
mistakes and maybe let go?
It is never easy, but nothing is impossible
Baby steps won't hurt, just trust
these words

Letting you go felt like pulling a string right out of my heart.

You're gone but I won't get high
Cause I'm already fly
My aspirations reach the sky
There's no need to even try
You left without saying goodbye
There are no tears in my eyes
Just for you I'll never cry
No I'm not that shy
To tell you that I'll forget you in a blink of an eye
Don't forget that I'm the queen of July

The only ones
who see
my true colors,
are black ink
and a white paper

I don't know
if I'll ever get the chance to tell you
how the whole world
disappears when you're here

But like the sun
hugs the horizon
and the moon
kisses the sky

Day by day
I am here
and my love
for you is real

She gave him the world, her world
But it wasn't enough, nothing was ever enough

Inspire me to be the me I wish to be

I look into your eyes and see an immense love
A love I can't take anymore
A love that breaks my heart in bones
A love that is not right for me
A love I do not deserve
And a love,
a love that can fill the valleys with flowing rain

He doesn't love me

*He loves who he thinks I am

I don't need a hero
In this story I will be
My own savior and you
Won't be my conqueror
I don't need to be saved
I need to be left in my solitude
With my thoughts & perceptions
I don't need you
I need me

If your job is becoming less than a passion and more like a wrecked marriage.
You get up, you take a very deep breath and run.
Run like you're fighting your life, run till it's no longer killing you from the inside.
Because every time you decide to stay, to give it a shot, a try a do-over, you always end up getting hurt.
Even though you never show it, you put on that million dollar smile and get back to trying.
You try until it kills what's left of your will to live, your will to dream, your will to be the person you aspire to be.
You become less like an employee and more like a zombie.
You get up, get dressed, go to work, you wait for that magic hour; 5 o'clock, you go home.
You do it over and over and over, but you don't realize the compromise you've made.
That compromise to save a sinking ship; your marriage to your job, a kind of compromise that will poison your existence and take away not only your life, but every bit of feeling you have left.
So run like there's no tomorrow, run fast to the life you've always wished for.

Anxiety is like a spouse you'll always be stuck with, for better or worse, who drives you crazy but you cannot live without. It lives with you throughout the day and night, holds your hand, nudges you to act, urges you to get up, to do more, to fix something or even make something. It pushes you to the edge, then holds you back right before you fall. It wants you to win, outshine the others, to impress and astonish everyone around you. And just like any marriage, you go with the flow, agree, and nod with a smile. Then one day, it has you by the throat and you find yourself losing it and losing yourself along. And just like friend you can rely on, Xanax is there, offering you an intermission, the gift of quietude, a break. Because the truth is, and I’ll speak for myself here. I want tranquillity once in a while, but I don’t want a tranquil life.

I want a life
With hope
And happiness
I want a life
With love
I want a life
With a blooming spring,
A brighter dawn
And a dream to hug the sky with

I came to forget, but all I've got is regret.

People come
To the city of love  
To fall in love
Fall in lust
Fall in liqour
Fall in junk
But me
I've come
To make peace
With the me
I've left back here
The me that fell
So many times
I cannot recall
But I'm going back
With sweet lies
That won't ease
The aching pain
And a numb heart
That won't feel
A thing

7:34 AM and I still love you
Last June, I loved you
Five years later, I'll still love you
& that my dear, is my problem

Sometimes, at 3 AM in the morning
I lie awake and wonder about the unknown
Where would I be?
Who would I be with?
Would my children have their daddy's eyes?
Or would they have my madness?
And I wonder  about all what could have been
But what I wonder about the most is..
Would I be happy?
Sometimes when I'm wide awake at 3 AM in the morning I just wonder

You stumble along the road
And suddenly feel so lost
People are not same no more
Faces ain't so familiar anymore
Memories faded to the floor
And you,
Your mind and soul
With the wind
Are gone

When it comes to pain
she never fought it
she embraced it
then wrote it away
in a poetic way

I was never perfect
I can be the calm after the storm
rage when its about to transform
I am a mess in its clearest form
but I'm not here to misinform
all I ever wanted is to let go of the norm
I was never perfect
but I can be madness in its unconditional form

I followed the stars
of the late night skies
and the raging waves
of the deep seas of blue
that didn't lead me
back to you

Lost within an irrational equation
more like a unpredicted invasion
never knew what was the occasion
that forced me into this with no persuasion
not even an explanation just an evasion
a conflation that led me to devastation
of madness and rage straight to desolation
to the point of no return, the almighty isolation

They said it was passion
but there was no compassion
just an inglorious fatal attraction
that only wanted the satisfaction

Beware of the throne
that will break your bones
until your mind is blown
and your intentions are shown
your poor heart is thrown
but it's no longer your own
they will throw sticks and stones
at you till your sorrows groan
and with your agony you're alone
weeping flowers will be grown
that will sing your misery a tone
stay away of the unknown
the beautiful danger zone

It beats
then races
till it falls down
and breaks
till it's no longer
the same

Thursday night stress
no words to express
bottles and cigarettes
shots, more or less?
now it's time to undress
living life with no regrets

I go to bed everynight trying to escape
the weight that of the world
I run from every time I close my eyes
the weight of the world
that burdens my whole existence
the weight of the world
I couldn't carry on my shoulders

You left me
scattered like cigarettes ashes
and shattered like broken glasses

No, you're not the one who completes my sentences nor the one who reads my mind.
You're never there when I need you the most and you never listen to the words I say.
You're loud and obnoxious, but your noises are much like music to my ears.
You're not the one I would die for, but you're the one I want spend the rest of my life with.
You're not the one who would fight for me, but you're the one I would fight for with every bit of my restless soul.
You're not the one who completes me, but you're the one who makes me feel whole.
You're the one I would tell my darkest secrets and worst stories to.
You're the one I would want to have next to me in this unknown journey of life.
You're not the one, but you're everything I've ever wanted.
You're the one I want.
You're the one I need.
You were always the one, but you never noticed, you never knew.

I'm tired of waiting
but I'm still hesitating
The silence is invading
and I'm somehow fading

Crash into me
with the fury of the waves
of a wild sea that drowns
the whole town
and the wrath of the flames
of a volcano that lights up
the night skies

Circumstances, time and people
they change
Feelings will fade
Love will stray  
Everything is ruled by change, but you
you're here stuck with a broken
clock, no more tick tock
a broken heart that
won't beat no more
and a broken soul that haunts
you till your sanity is no longer whole.