Tell me why I left you
Why the fox escaped to gray
You believed in all my promises
But nothing I've ever said was true.

"You'll be back next summer, right?"
You asked, full of hope
"I'll be back every summer."
Grimace twisting like a rope

Your smile lit up my days
But oh, how sparkling eyes do fade
Life was shining, we were brave
Until the day I went away

Maybe I was just too shy
Maybe I was small and weak
I'll be strong now, I won't cry
I'll be lonely in my sleep

I didn't know I wanted to leave
It still shocks me all the time
I hope that you can rest in peace
Away from all my desperate lies

I wanted to be with you again
Before we parted ways
But hesitation choked my breath
Filled with words I couldn't say

With our fingers intertwined
We would've left the past behind
Yet somehow time escaped us
Amongst the singing stars and gold and wine

With my final fragile breath
I have left these words for you
With the sounds of all the laughter
We, as lovers, never knew

I love you like i love my cup of coffee.
First thing in the morning
In the middle of day
Or late at night.
Dark, bitter, sweet or both.
Right now, later, and always constantly.
Forever.

Another rainy night a lost emotion and a dependable vice did the train simply pass in the night leaving only a smokestacks embrace to the moonlit sky .

A single scar in a ocean of bad choices the naked view and the want is not need can we build from the nothing we are I lost interest and you simply lost the desire .

Passion is a infection that often is cleansed with time .
Old fools often resemble a mirrors reflection don't ask for what I cannot explain just be the person you no longer are and I will fade for now as well.

In steady rhythm together and so easily apart.
Salt water I recall the fantastic buzz by the ocean before the storm .
And now we are left only with this .

Its a perverse ending a dying flame .
I lost a time and you just simply a thought.
The page turned and we found a different story altogether.

Sometimes I think about viewing those pages deep within you.
Sometimes when it's dark and I'm alone.
Then I recall how I came to be here to begin with.

And I simply pour another drink and let those thoughts die with the passing night.

We are all shadows of are own choosing.

Part One

                              A  American Madman's Farwell

I was fried from the scene in LA the lights the fake women with the perfect smiles and quick to jump in bed mentalities that if thinking you were a casting director were all to eager to sell there souls .

The were twisted insane drug addicts maybe that's why I had grown to feel at home amongst them and there demented ways.
I had grown numb to the excess the high quality drugs and all night binges .

My mornings were like rising from the dead more agony than pleasure
I found even now to arise from the crypt it took far more than a stiff drink and a good **** I had to dam near summon a voodoo priestess to bring me back to the living good thing even the masters of the occult all desired to be famous and were already here .

Everyone was after the fast track that quick fix and I was just after yet another story.
I was just another snake in the garden all to eager to take advantage of the first opportunity to strike the innocent then leave them with a expensive habit and some cab fair in the morning .

I sat there as I do now ice in glass bottle on the table frustrated in need  of something more one last adventure was on the horizon .
And my sights were set on the land down under .

Were the heat and mystery surrounded my thoughts where the page could breathe and my thoughts could  take flight one last time .
I sat there a addict in need of another fix one that only a finally dose of adrenaline and adventure could curb my desires .

My choice was made long before my bags were packed.
and few lines and some stiff drinks were all I desired to see this road to its end .

I paid my bill packed my **** and was ready to be lost .
L.A. was a mistake always willing to happen and a new Atlantis destined to be at the bottom of the sea .

I was buckled in  and blown out of my mind as the 747 blasted from tarmac bound for escape pointed towards the sky .
I was higher than Jesus and bound for a story that would be far beyond the depths of my own madness .

Sir would you like a drink ?
The stewardess asked me when we were stable within the clouds.
You can fill in the blank when it comes to my reply .

Just make sure it's a double .

Please fasten your belts ladies and gentlemen the madness will begin shortly .

Why do I sit and ponder and analyze every aspect of this life?
Spending hours and days contemplating my place in this world
Day dreaming of how I wish my life had turned out
Imagining the day that fate will finally show me favor

Why are some people easy to leave behind but others break you to your soul?
Why do we want the ones who don't want us?
Why is that I can't bare the thought of not having you in my life?
Why can't I see the reality in front of my face?
Is it just a chemical reaction that causes the bond I feel?
Is it all in my head?
I feel as though I am losing what is left of my sanity
I would live through a thousand heart breaks to be in your presence
Would endure any pain that may come from this decision
With ease and pleasure
why?

Why do I seem to seek those who take my love for granted?
Those who use and abuse me
Why do I always look for the other shoe to drop?
Why can't I at least have contentment?
Why is happiness so brief and fleeting for me?
Why do I see only certain people through rose colored glasses?
Why am I cursed with an imagination so vivid that fantasy and reality begin to blur?

She had no reason and I wasn't going to ask.
Her  body left as her thoughts I was removed from long ago.

The rides that we viewed from the pier the sunrise and passed drinks I was a phantom a shadow of the man who gave all to the page and nothing to her.

No magic holds more true than the waves crashing endless into the fading darkness shore .

I had stood long before and I would stand long after .
They all leave you empty as when you first met.

This was far from my last .
The page held more than a shallow hearts departure .

There's no regret in goodbye .
Just a change if scenery.
A bottle in the sand and my thoughts to themself

She left the room.
And left me together thinking I'd be torn apart.

But my thoughts are all that has ever been the whole of me .

And the silence played endless in perfection with the crashing tide.

Your passion remains where they leave just the same.