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Apr 29 · 52
Fragile Beauty
On the other side of the fence,                                                                    ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
a wild yellow flower grows,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
sweet smelling so
intense,                                                         ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                          
It takes first place in show                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­  
   If only I could reach it
                                                              ­                                                      
    I'd take it just for me                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
Go home & showcase
it                                                               ­                                                                                       ­                                                   
  and all its fragile
beauty                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
Yet it is out of my reach                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
Like a star up in the sky,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
   a rare shell on a forbidden beach                                                            ­                                                                 ­          
 I will stretch & I'll still try                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                        
Straining past the fence
post,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                        
touching it with fingertips                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
  I realize what I need
most,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                      
is just to stop admire it
Another morning that I wake up depressed,                                                       ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
it's painful to see that you're not home yet                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                        
As my heart beats hard inside my chest,                                                                                                                         ­                                                      
     it breaks from your constant disrespect
                                                                 ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                  
Leaving my mind to play the blame game,                                        
                                                                ­                                                     
    what did I do, what is this one's
   name?                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                              
You've broken every vow you've ever made                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                     
 and every time you did, I   always
  forgave                                                       ­     
                                                                ­                                              
  When & if you ever decide to
arrive                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
  still drunk from the night & probably
high                                                  
          ­                                                                 ­                                   
You'll tell me all my nagging caused
this,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                            
point your finger & call me a
*****                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                    
   I'll bottle all that pain up deep
inside                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
  but my tears are harder for me to
hide                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                           
   My heart can't take another
hit                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
   I know I deserve better than
this                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
   As you sleep soundly till five or
six,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                           
  I'll pack up myself & then the
kids                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                  
  You have nothing that I want to receive,                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                 
tomorrow it will be you waiting for me
Everyone's breaking off their pieces,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
                                                                ­                                              
  leaving me broken & so empty                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
As long as they fulfill their needs                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
in the end who cares who bleeds?                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
­Tugging on the scraps of what's left                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                
pulling at the heart in my chest                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
They get their fill they leave the rest                                                        
                                                                ­                                                
finally feeling sated, I clean up their mess                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                                   
I thought that what I gave to them                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
would be returned to me in the end                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                          
Leaving me sick with my confusion                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
all I am is & disillusioned                                                    ­                              
                                                                ­                                              
Never give your love away
 you may need it yourself, someday
Those pent-up resentments                                                      ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
quickly turn into hate,                                                            ­                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
soon all your comments                                                         ­                         
                                                                ­                                              
become heated debates                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­                 
A once loving glance                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
has turned into a glare                                                            ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­       
Sometimes love can't be
repaired                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
Thick tension can be cut by a
knife                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
as we blame each other for our
lives                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                     
  The words I hate you, hang in the
  air,                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                            
  killing the love that was once
  there                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
We sleep with our backs turned at night,                                                        
                                                                 ­                                                 
get up before the other to avoid a
fight                                                        
                                                                ­                                  
Everything's wrong, nothing's
right                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                              
praying God will show us the light                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                 
 The distance between us grows on &
on                                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
we turn down the stereo playing our song                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                
Your wedding ring lies on the nightstand,                                                      ­                
                                                                ­                                                 
 and mine is no longer there on my
  hand                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                            
You're eating fast food all by
yourself.                                                        ­    
                                                                ­                                                   
  you know they're talking to someone
   else                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                    
There are times life is just not
fair,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
and sometimes love can't be repaired
Apr 28 · 235
Dealing With a Narcist
You are always talking about me                                                               ­           
                                                                ­                                              
because you can't talk to me                                                               ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
  You think you have me folding                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
but all this silence is golden                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                      
You hoped to leave me in pieces                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
but you only left me in peace                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                
I accept all your faulty
perceptions                                                      ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
  and I'm going in the other
direction                                                        ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
I'm determined to not be swayed by you                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                  
you can't bully me if I don't let you                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
You cannot change this situation,                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­    
until you stop your manipulation
PTSD from dealing with two narcists at one time for a very long time and will have to continue to for the rest of my time.
Have you ever held on to a love you know is already gone?                            
                                                                ­                                                        
Are they all you think about when you hear a certain song?                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
Have you ever reached out to an empty bed at night?                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
Just to feel the repercussions of always being right                                                
                                                                ­                                                      
Did you ever breakdown because you miss them so
much,                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
have you ever closed your eyes to remember their touch?                                        
                  ­                                                                 ­                                   
Do you ever wish that you could reverse
time,                                              
                                                                ­                                                        
change everything that has happened, make it all
fine ?                                       
                   ­                                                                 ­                          
Have you ever sat alone in an empty room,                                        
                                                                ­                                                
with pictures & cards that say, ''I love
you?''                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                         
Have you ever had such a badly broken heart,                                                    
      ­                                                                 ­                                             
you don't know how to begin or know how to
start                                                  
                                                                ­                                                     
 It happened to me, I must confess the
truth,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
my broken heart is the ultimate proof                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
If there's something I can say to help
you,                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                           
It's to thrown yourself back into loving
you                                                    
         ­                                                                 ­                                      
Toss away those things that remind you of them,                                          
                 ­                                                                 ­                                    
it's the best way for you to start living again                                                
                                                                ­                                    
Remember how beautiful you can be,                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
take the time to find the "real me"                                                      
       ­                                                                 ­                                          
Get up, get out, go with your
friends                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                
soon you'll find your hearts on the mend                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                                   
 If you ever find yourself in love
again,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                      
remember always being right can make that end
Apr 26 · 140
What's Killing You
When you've fallen & broken with tears in your eyes                                  
                                                                ­                                                       
      and no words can be spoken to make it all right                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
When you're on the floor, bent down on your knees,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                             
confident & assured you're right where you should be                                                        
      ­                                                                 ­                                             
When you beat yourself up just like you always do,                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                          
convincing yourself of that is what's killing you                                              
               ­                                                                 ­                                      
Get up, take a deep breath & stop all of this                                                
                                                                ­                                              
before you throw yourself down into the abyss                                  
                         ­                                                                 ­                       
   You can choose who it is that you want to be,                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                          
throw away all your fears & vanities                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                              
Don't invest in people who hold you down,                                              
             ­                                                                 ­                                    
the clock is not just a ticking sound                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
Act, change, before it is too **** late                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                           
  Reclaim your power, renew your faith                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                              
  You are the master of your own destiny,                                                         ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
rise up & shine, set yourself free
Apr 26 · 90
A Punishing Love
It is so easy for you,                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
to crush my self-esteem                                                      ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                                   I wish I didn't love you,                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                              
because I know you don't love me                                                               ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
You aren't who I thought,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­              
I guess I've been blind,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                
bruises heal & I forget,                                                          ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                
 how it affected my mind                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                         
Being punished for the past,                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                          
whether it was my fault or not                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I thought our love would last                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
but I settled for what I got                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
You take all that I have,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                
want me at your beck & call,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
then tell me I should be glad,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
I'm getting anything at all
Apr 26 · 49
The Blessing Is
So, you didn't get what you wanted,                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
don't look at me so broken hearted,                                                         ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
In this great land of opportunity,                                                     ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
there is still a lot of poverty                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
Instead of focusing on yourself ,                                                                ­
                                                                ­                                                    
look around & offer someone help                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                      
Go to places you would never go,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                   
 open your heart & let your love flow                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                   
Help a stranger across the street,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                
give a hungry man something to eat                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
Buy a child ice cream from Mr. Frosty,                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                                
hold open the door for someone elderly,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                   
 pay for groceries if you know it helps,                                                
          ­                                                                 ­                                       
the blessing is helping someone else                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                           
Drop A dollar, make a donation,                                                      
                                                                ­                                    
  volunteering can change a
situation                                                        ­        
                                                                ­                                        
Anytime that you ever feel down,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                          
  take the time to look around
I grew up in poverty. I came from a family of 10 who often had little to eat, grew up with no heat. I try now to give whenever God puts it on my heart to help others. I believe in random acts of kindness. I have paid for people's groceries, paid for other's meals, given when I don't have it to give & felt blessed to be able to do so.
Apr 26 · 113
The Hunger in Me
There comes a time when it's all or none,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
   when you don't want a bite or to even have some                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                     
Some people I know say, that it's called greed,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
  but I believe it is fulfilling your own needs                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                    
I always wanted more than some might,                                        
                                                                ­                                                
wished I had the wings to take flight                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                  
There is nothing wrong in wanting to succeed,                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
to set the goals that you want to archive                                                    
                                                                ­                                                   
 It's not like I take more than I can eat,                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
I am just a little more hungry                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
That gleam you may see in my eyes,                                 
                                                                ­                                                        
may take some of you by
surprise                                                         ­                             
                                                                ­                                                      
If it makes it too hard for you abide,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                    
  I'll step over you & not ask you why
Apr 26 · 52
Heartbreaker
I am tired of trying to read your mind,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I can't keep up, I am always behind,                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
never thought I could love your kind,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                                 ­   I 'm over chasing what will never be mine                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                         
Serial cheater, womanizer, that's you                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                    
only to your heart you can be true,                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                
Selfish *****, what can I do to please you?                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                       
Heartbreaker, I both love & hate you,                                                
                                                                ­                                                
even after all you've put me through,                                                
                                                                ­                                    
sometimes, I don't even know who                                                      
                                                                ­                                                   
   you are anymore & don't want to
Apr 26 · 65
Celebrate The Miracle
Some think true love is a dozen a dime,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
they don't know how hard it is to find                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                   
  I only know from my own history,                                                         ­                                                               
 ­                                                                 ­                                                      
 it hasn't happened that often for me                                                               ­                             
                                                                ­                                                        
So, when I find it I just as quickly,                                                         ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
   I celebrate the miracle happening to
   me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
   I just hold on; it may not last for
   long                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                   
   It feels so right, I want it to go
   on,                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
  I close my eyes &embrace the love,                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                        
cherish the memories, there's never enough                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                         
Open your heart & let it rush in,                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                    
flood your heart with happy feelings                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                              
Smile like a fool till your face hurts,                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
fill your heart with love till it bursts                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                         
Dance in streets, promenade in the rain,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                              
treat it like it won't happen again                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                               
 Send them flowers, chocolate or cards,                                            
                                                                ­                                                   
   Call them unexpected, wherever you are,                                            
                ­                                                                 ­                                  
 end every call with an I love
  you,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                        
show them what they mean to you                                                  
           ­                                                                 ­                                  
Wake up smiling & keep it up,                                                            
 ­                                                                 ­                                                
tell them they're everything you're dreaming of
Apr 25 · 52
My Careful Facade
So much pain locked within,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                
depriving me of oxygen                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
Will I sink or will I swim?                                                            ­                   
                                                                ­                                  
  Sometimes  I want to give
in                                                               ­                                                                                                             ­                                                   
 I've taken the time to build walls                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
as I try to contain it
all                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                        
Sometimes it comes seeping out                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                        
   like a scream or like a
shout                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
  I hold my breath, so no one sees                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
the battle going on in me                                                               ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­            
Pray to the powers higher than
me                                                               ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
to help me deal properly                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
My careful facade is crumbling                                                        ­            
                                                    ­                                                    
exposing my vulnerability,                                                   ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
I wish to hold my head up high                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
watch me stumble as I try
#facade#pain#breathe
Apr 25 · 38
What's Left of Me
I can no longer rely on memories,                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                        
of when I loved you & you loved me                                                               ­                             
                                                                ­                                                    
 I've been trying hard to remember when,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
we were lovers, we were friends                                                          ­                                                                
­                                                                 ­                                                       
A thousand years ago, so it
seems,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                        
 since we treated each other like human
beings                                                        
                                                                ­                                                      
It was easier to hold on to the
past,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
than it was to make our love last                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                       
I know I must occupy some same part,                                                            ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                                 
in the withered ***** you call a heart                                                            ­                      
                                                                 ­                                                     
I know we have gone way past the time                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
  of when our love flourished on the vine                                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
At least allow me some civility,                                                        ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                        
  and let go of what's left of me
Apr 25 · 106
The Truth You Can't Hide
You didn't confess when confronted with your lies,                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
how quickly I regret ever letting you in my life                                      
                      ­                                                                 ­                               
  You think you were so smart, leading me along,                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
an actor playing a part, convincing me I'm wrong                                                          
                                                                ­                                                
Making me think it's me being paranoid,                                            
           ­                                                                 ­                                         
since then, I am done, it's you I now avoid                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
So now, you say that you are missing me,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
  like that will somehow change my mind,                                              
                                                                ­                                                
I think it is time for you to see,                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
these eyes of mine aren't blind                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                              
You are telling all our friends,                                                         ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
you don't know what you did,                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                             
when will all your lying end?                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You­ treated me like ****                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­  
  It isn't up to me to tell                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­  
everyone my side                                                             ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                     
 You just wait, you'll see                                                              ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
the truth you can't hide
Apr 25 · 140
An Empty Me
Pull my tongue out of my mouth,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
  use a spoon & hollow me out,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
  take off a chunk of my skin,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
  it's okay, there's life within                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
Pluck my eyes from my face,                                                            ­                                                  
I don't want to see the human race,                                                    
                                                                ­                                              
remove my fingers from my hand,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
you don't need to understand                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                 
 Cut my heart from my chest,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
I guarantee I won't contest                                                          ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­         
Go ahead & pick my brain,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
you will see nothing
remains,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
Go ahead, you will see,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
you will find an empty me
If the sun slid into the sea,                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
 If the moon lost its gravity,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
 If the trees never grew new leaves,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
there would still be you & me                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                                 ­
If I never walked again,                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                          
If nothing was how it should 've been,                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                             
 If I never had any friends.                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
  there would still be you & me                                                               ­ 
                                                                ­                                                     
    If no roses ever
bloomed,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                    
  If I lived in just one room,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
If the radio played one tune,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                            
  there would still be you & me                                                               ­     
                                                           ­                                                         
  If everything fell out of place                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
  or a smile never crossed my
face,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
  If astronauts never went to space,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                       
there would still be you & me                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                                
 If all the stars fell down                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­            
and streams went
underground,                                                     ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
If all that was lost was found,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
there would still be you & me
Apr 24 · 96
Nothing to You
Take my heart, tear it in two,                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
put it back when you are through                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
You are the best at what you do,                                                          
                                                                ­                                            
showing me, I am nothing to you                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                
Knock me down, step over me,                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                      
you treat me with such cruelty                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                
Punish me with severity                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
for just trying to be me                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
Was there a time that you cared?                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
Did I imagine what we shared?                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
My heart is filled with despair,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
the hole you've left is beyond repair
Apr 24 · 58
The Beauty of You
With all the intensity of a hot blazing fire,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                      
  you captured my heart, stoked my desire                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
   Just when I though it wouldn't consume me,                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
  you added more flame & burned right through me                                          
                                                                ­                                              
Forever your face is in my mind's eye,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                      
you meant more to me than I realized                                                         ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
      I still hear your voice in my dreams at night,                                                    
                                                                ­                                            
I can almost feel you holding me tight                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
I can still taste your skin like it was yesterday,                                              
                                                                ­                                                  
the beauty of you in my dreams on replay
Apr 24 · 56
My Heart on Ice
This is my heart on pen & paper                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                              
you always tell me, you'll read it later                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                                 Meanwhile my life is passing by,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
filled with excuses & alibis                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
  I wish you would just plug-
   in,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
  I am tired of always begging                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
  Taking scraps that you throw me,                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                      
acting satisfied was killing me                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
I had to put my heart on ice                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                 
 and stop being so **** nice                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
All so I could act, just like you,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                   
 let you know what you put me through                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
You remained selfishly absorbed,                                                        ­    
                                                            ­                                                           making it easier for you to ignore                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                             
anything that was going on with me,                                                              ­                                        
                                                                ­                                          
it allowed you to continue to be                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
the same person I couldn't see                                                            
                                                                ­                                              
while I loved you foolishly                                                        ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
I am glad that I stepped back,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
­it helped me to see all you lacked                                                           ­                                                             
You weren't about me, now or then                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
but now my eyes are opening                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                              
  While my heart was in deep freeze,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
I thought less about you, more about me                                                               ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
 I guess it's about time that I see,                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
that this the way It has to be                                                               ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I am all I'll I ever need                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
and I actually feel free
Apr 24 · 149
Aren't You Ever Lonely ?
I can't look at the stars                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
and not think of you                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
   I wonder where you are                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
and if you lonely too                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I can't look at the sea                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                        
or it's waves of blue                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                              
without remembering me                                                               ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
being there with you                                                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I can't gaze at the sun                                                              ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                              
when it's shining outside                                                          ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                              
only you light can me up inside                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I hate being out at night                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
if the sky is too clear                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                
knowing the moonlight                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                                      
is reflecting off your hair                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­       
 If I were to go blind                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                   
and I couldn't ever see                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
I' d see you in my mind                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
you haunt my memories                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I can't live without you,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
how can you be without me?                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                              
Don't you miss me
too?                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                              
Aren't you ever lonely?
Apr 23 · 84
Let Yourself Live
Open up, let it in,                                                              ­                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
  feel it under your skin                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­        
Observe the beauty of the Earth,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
let it give your senses birth                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
Allow yourself to feel,                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­   
help open wounds to heal                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
Learn how to forgive,                                                         ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
let yourself live
I am a huge nature lover & truly enjoy the beautiful world we have been blessed to live in.
Apr 23 · 37
Ronnie
When the day comes that God calls you home,                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
   I hope I am with you, so you won't be alone.                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I often try think of what I could do,                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                        
to make that departure easier for you                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                                
I know you like me to sing to you,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                          
if I can, I will, I promise you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
I'll try not to cry, put on a brave face,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
you are not someone I could ever replace                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                               
  When I see you make your way to the light,                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I will comfort you, hold you tight                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                 
 The stars for me will still shine bright,                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
I know you're up there & are you're all right                                            
               ­                                                                 ­                                  
No one else could fill that hole on in me,                                                        
     ­                                                                 ­                                      
though I may try, however foolishly                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
Once someone like you touches my heart,                                                
          ­                                                                 ­                                         
I'll need someone to love so I don't fall apart                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
My days for me will never be the same,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                          
  I'll never forget you, forget your name                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
I'm sure I'll say remember you with a smile,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                     
 it will bring you back if even for a little while
This was written in 2013 for my beloved, stray/feral cat Ronnie. I loved her & she loved me. She imprinted deeply on my heart. Beautiful & scared she trusted only me & sadly passed in 2016 after a reoccurrence of breast cancer in 2016. I was with her when she passed & did get to sing to her & hold her until I saw the light go out of her beautiful green eyes. I miss her.
Apr 23 · 111
I Will Never Grow
Here I am feeling your pain,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
that you've afflicted over & over again,                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                                   
I'd like to give you some of the same,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
but sadly, some love still remains                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
Claim you do it 'cause you love me
so                                                        
      ­                                                                 ­                                               
But all that your love is letting me know,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                                
is you love yourself way more than me                                                            
                                                                ­                                                    
That you can only fulfill your needs                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                      
They say time is a good remedy,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­ 
but there's not enough time for healing me                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                               
So here I am, I am letting go,                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                    
of the only love I have ever known,                                                        
                                                                ­                                              
where I'll end up, you'll never know,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                          
because if I stay, I will never grow
Apr 23 · 139
I'm A Bird In Flight
Lift me up to the highest height,                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                                
release me, I'm a bird in flight                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
Let the Earth's beauty fill me up,                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
until I'm breathless & had enough                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­   
Let me soar into the azure skies,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                
spread my wings so I can fly,                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
with soft wings, I sail, gliding by                                                               ­                         
                                                                ­                                    
Everything is different way up here,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
the beauty of life is much more clear
Apr 23 · 118
It Is What It Is
I've been running around trying to change                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                              
   but found one mold doesn't always fit                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                
There's not a lot I can do about being strange                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­       
it is what it is & that is this,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I may not have the typical family,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm not ashamed of being me,                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
there's no reason for trying to be,                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
someone else other than me                                                               ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
I might not share your point of view,                                                  
         ­                                                                 ­                                    
that's because I'm me, not you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­  
If we were to act exactly the same,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                              
we may as well all have the same name                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You­ might not like how I carry myself                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                               
but I don't want to be like everyone
else                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I like the differences I see in me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                      
I am not a clone or a wanna
be                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
You can point at me in judgement,                                                       ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­            
pretend you are heaven sent                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
But I know I have common sense,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
I don't want to live a life as someone I resent
Apr 23 · 60
It's Heavenly
I open up my window & shades                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
and let the fresh air rush in                                                               ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
Feel the sun's warmth on my face,                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
get ready for the day to begin                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
Smell the fresh cut grass                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­               
see it's covered in dew                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­             
  a lemon lime zest draft,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                     
  I drink in the view                                                             ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                          
The birds are outside singing,                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
the tree's rustling in the breeze                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
All the while I'm saying                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                               
Thank you, God, it's heavenly
The sparkle in her eyes,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
get fainter every day,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
no one can deny,                                                            ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
that she's fading away                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­  
Sometimes she doesn't speak,                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                
there're times she won't eat                                                              ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
We watch her grow weak,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
as we tend to her needs                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                            
There're days she lays in bed all day,                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
up inside her head it's okay                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
Her memories become a haze,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                  
bringing smiles that quickly fade                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I wonder what she's thinking today,                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                  
you never know what she'll say                                                              ­          
                                                                ­                                                  
Her skin like tissues in my hands,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
she says things we don't understand                                                       ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
  We all love her the best we can,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                
she is such a strong woman                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                          
  Pict­ures of family on the wall,                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                          
  nursing station down the hall                                                             ­           
                                                                 ­                                                 
We can't invoke new memories                                                         ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                        
but that doesn't stop us from trying                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                      
Some day's we feel like crying,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                              
while we love her while she's dying
This is for my grandmother who I visited while in a nursing home.
Apr 22 · 44
Seventeen
With a head full of anger, a heart filled with rage,                                  
                         ­                                                                 ­                            
she ran away from home at an early age,                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                         
she headed to Hollywood to take the center stage,                                      
                    ­                                                                 ­                                   
a predictable ending before the last page                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                             
She spent all her money on a ticket there,                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                             
she didn't make plans, she didn't care                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
Just the kind of person ripe for abuse,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                                 ­ vulnerable, scared & very confused                                                         ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                  
He bought her dinner, she sold her soul,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
she dressed the part & played the role                                                          
                                                                ­                                                
Now she walks the track, every night of the week,                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                  
does as she's told, listens when he speaks                                                
                                                                ­                                                 
 She longs for the life she used to have,                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
misses her mom, misses her dad                                                              ­                                                                
The drugs he gives her, numbs the pain                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
from when he beats her, calls her names                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
The stories she could tell you, things she's seen                                          
                  ­                                                                 ­                           
make her look much older than seventeen
It's been a long time since you loved me,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
   even longer since you held my hand,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                                
my walls are working perfectly,                                                       ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­          
now I don't give into your demands                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
  I don't think often about you                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
  or the way you made me feel,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                    
convinced myself I don't love you,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
 It was the only way I'd heal                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                  
Why did have to come over here,                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
telling me that you still care?                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                      
Showing me, eyes filled with tears,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
you never did play fair                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                    
I'd be a fool to let it get to me                                                               ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
and be your victim once again                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                              
When it's all been done, I'd rather be,                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                  
someone else than who I've been                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
 I'd like to think I learned a thing or two                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
in the time we've been apart,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
I can't fall back in love with you,                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                             
you­'re no good for my heart
Apr 22 · 261
Look At What We've Done
I don't know why I cried,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
when you walked away,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I felt like we had died,                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­               
long before that dark day                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
    I think I was still holding                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
on to a sweet memory                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                        
as I felt my heart folding,                                                         ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                     closing in around me                                                               ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
It had really hit me,                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                 
that our love was gone                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
and I would then be                                                               ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­      
forever lonely & alone                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
My heart was aching                                                           ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                
and no one really cared,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                              
inside I was shaking,                                                         ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­             
broken & scared                                                           ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                  
We both knew it was coming                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­
but let it happen anyway,                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                
both hell- bent on burning                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                     
the one we loved in every way                                                              ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
a lesson worth learning                                                         ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­              
look at what we've done today
Apr 22 · 162
Get Yourself Some
Laugh loudly, walk proudly,                                                         ­                           
                                                                                                              
     dance around till you fall down,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                  
smile until it hurts your face,                                                            ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                                   move your body, don't stay in one place,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
sing even if you know you're bad,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
tell dumb jokes & be stupid glad,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
drink wine, get buzzed,                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­                 
give a total stranger a hug,                                                             ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                        
      wear something you never would                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
act a fool, you know you should,                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
this is my recipe for fun,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
go ahead & get yourself some
Apr 22 · 46
That Love's Long Gone
She comes at him, hot flushed face                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                           
  She's throwing things all over the place                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
Her eyes are wide & mostly black,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                      
 facing her enemy, about to attack                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                     
 She pushes away a strand of hair,                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                
making   a scene & does not care                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
Just found out, he's cheating again                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
and making sure he knows he's sinned                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                                
She's screaming, bringing the house down,                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                              
along with anything else that's around                                              
                                                                ­                                              
While she's cursing up a blue streak,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
a thrown book makes him shriek                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
Even after what he's done to her,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                  
he's wondering what just occurred,                                                        ­        
                                                                ­                                                  
he's sure she will come back easily,                                                          ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
just like before, so greedily                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
He can't let go; he can't hold on                                                               ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
but for her, that loves long gone
Apr 22 · 80
Tainted Memories
Every lie you say to me,                                                              ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
every infidelity,                                                      ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                               
taints another memory                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­               
 and you are slowly killing me                                                               ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                      
You have filled my heart with hate,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                  
every time you come home late,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
  my heart & head has to debate,                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­   
  you always end up second rate                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                       
Why didn't you just walk away?                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
  ­How can you treat me this way?                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
  You want your cake & eat it too,                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                 
 and **** you got a big, sweet tooth                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
She didn't take you away from me,                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                      
I will give you to her, gladly                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­    
then I will sit back just to see,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                
what happens when she becomes like me
Apr 21 · 117
Another Me
Like a tape player on rewind,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
          ­                                                                 ­                                           
 I see it all clearly in  my mind,                                                     ­                             
                                                                ­                                          
memories flash before aged eyes                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­    
                                                                ­                                                    
of the things I lived before I die,                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I see my children, small & frail,                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                    
acknowledge attempts that I 've failed                                                           ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                    
that I would have done differently,                                                     ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
in the life of another me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
  I remember first days at school                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
  picnics­ at the swimming pool                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
  all of those wonderful
memories                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                 
 and others not so
pleasantly                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
I remember how love can hurt                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                              
 of things that were far worse                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
All of this pain I pushed away                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
to remember another day                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
I hope if that day comes,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
I can stand up & be the one                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ that is so convincingly                                                     ­                 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­       
another version, another me
Apr 21 · 81
My Tortured Mind
I am not a writer, I 'm a prisoner in my head,                                              
                                                                ­                                          
compelled to think, to write, what is being said                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                
Feeling too much, it comes pouring out of me.                                          
                                                                ­                                            
bleeding onto pages, demons exorcised from me
Apr 21 · 90
All This Drama
Broken glass on the floor,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
  holes punched through the door,                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
all say I love you & more                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
to those who've been there before                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                             
Pictures out of the frames,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
piled up ready for the flames                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                              Curse words & then your name                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
all in efforts to assign blame                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Cell phones with cracked screens,                                                         ­   
                                                                ­                                              
police called to a domestic scene                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                    
Bleached clothes strewn in the tub                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
   all this has to be true love                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                             
Ripped clothes thrown on the floor                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                              
along with your heart & more                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
All of this drama, what's it for?                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
This isn't love, it's settling a score
Apr 21 · 91
We Once Used To Be
You are here right here with me,                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­ 
looking through, not at me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
We are suffering quietly,                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                                 so much is said, silently                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
The TV plays way too loud                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
You stomp your feet too proud                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                
  Neither of us is willing to do,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                
what's needed to get us through                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
You give me an icy glare,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                     
interrupting my focused stare,                                                           ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                  
slapping me into reality                                                          ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­               
of how bad it is between you &me                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
  The washer machine in the background,                                                      ­
                                                                ­                                              
   cleans up dirt without a sound                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
   But you & I can't get
by,                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
   our dirt gets materialized                                                     ­                 
                                                                ­                                            
   Behind the walls we are seen,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                    
as a couple whose grass is green                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                              
  While eating our dinner we fall apart.                                                           ­                                                       
         ­                                                                 ­                                        
  as we eat the other's hearts                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                 
 The fence is white & the flowers bloom.                                                
          ­                                                                 ­                                         
as we explode in the living room                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
The pictures hung so perfectly,                                                       ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
like we once used to be
I've tried but I can't get enough of you,                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                                     
no matter how I try, it will not do                                                        
                                                                ­                                                       
   When I see you smile, I can't contain mine                                                
                                                                ­                                                        
  I want to play it cool, but I lose my mind,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
Whenever we touch, I just want to feel.                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                    
something beautiful, something real                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
My heart beats wildly when you're near,                            
                                                                ­                                          
whenever you whisper, "I want to be here"                                                      
                                                                ­                                              
  Wrap me in your arms, I'll melt into you.                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                         
Put your hand in mine, I love you                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                            
  Hold my face in your hands, when we kiss,                                                
                                                                ­                                                      
I won't close my eyes; I won't want to miss,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
any kind of look or sign that says to me                                                               ­                                                         
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
I love you as much as you love me
Apr 21 · 134
Smiles
There are smiles you use to greet,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
there are smiles when you meet                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
The kind that looks into your heart,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
that cause your pulse to skip a beat                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
The type that can ignite a flame,                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
so, you never feel the same                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
  A smile that reaches their eyes,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                          
a kind of flirty surprise                                                         ­                             
                                                                ­                                            
There's the one reserved for you.                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                  
a look that's shared by you two                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                            
Where words are never said,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
it is a look to be read                                                             ­                                                       
         ­                                                                 ­                                
between two lovers, privately.                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                     
 it looks like the one, you just gave to me
My heart looks like a crime scene,          
                                                                ­                                                        
   a victim of love bleeds profusely                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
So many cuts inflicted on me,                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
your love has left it's print on me                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
Your weapon of words cut like a knife,                                          
                                                                ­                                              
causing me pain, threatening my life,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                  
only held together with caution tape,                                                
                                                                ­                                                
sealed with lies & bitter hate                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
Hit & run, I am left dealing.                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                
with a heart that has no feeling                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
You are guilty, the jury is in                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
may you burn with others condemned
Apr 21 · 74
A Small Victory
We are living together yet falling apart.                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                      
the word forever isn't written in our stars                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                        
Heartache is the only thing that we share,                                          
                ­                                                                 ­                                   
now nothing matters & no one cares                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                                I take from you, you take from me,                                                          
                                                                ­                                              
hurting each other deliberately                                                     ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
So far gone we don't care to see,                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm killing you & you're killing me                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
You push my buttons & I push yours                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
so many times, we stopped keeping score                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                                  
  I keep on threatening to walk out that door,                                                      
                                                                ­                                            
you're screaming at me; I can't take anymore"                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                      
I am ashamed of what we have become,                                                
         ­                                                                 ­                                            
but I have the sense to know we are done                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
Broken hearted, I'm standing my ground,                                                        
 ­                                                                 ­                                                
you are someone I can't be around                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I detach myself & I wrestle free,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
  I got away, a small victory
Apr 21 · 68
How Do You?
How you rekindle a flame that's gone cold?                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                
  Play a bluff hand you know you should fold?                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                               
                                                                ­                                                
How do breathe life into a faded romance?                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                           
How do you know it's even worth the chance?                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
Do you move on & start love anew,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
or be true to what your hearts telling you?                                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
How do you convince someone to try again,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
when it's hard to even remain being friends?                                                  
      ­                                                                 ­                                         
How do you go about making the first move,                              
                                                                ­                                              
when you know they will just reject you?                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                            
You can tell yourself, maybe they feel the same                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                     
but if not, you're opening up for pain                                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
So, you wait & another day goes by,                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
do you harden your heart or even try?                                                          
                                                                ­                                                 
 The longer you wait, the harder it becomes                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
till your loves gone forever, it's all come undone
When my heart was broken,                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
    there was a boy who cared                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
   no words were louder spoken,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                    
   than the flowers he shared                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
  As I cried in my misery,                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
he waited in the wings                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                              
  Hoping one day he would be,                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
my all, my everything                                                       ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                  
He focused his attention,                                                       ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­       
 and each & everyday,                                                        ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­               
he showed his affection,                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                
with a floral bouquet                                                          ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
But so pained was I                                                                ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
and blinded by hot tears,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                             
I closed my swollen eyes,                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
and he then disappeared                                                      ­                                
                                                                ­                                             
 Lately he's been coming back to me,                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                  
sometimes in my dreams,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                             
I can remember him vividly                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                
even though it's longer than it seems                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
He loved me then, now I see                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                 
 The boy with the flowers waiting,                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
for me to love him, patiently                                                        ­      
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                             
                                   ­                                  ,.
Apr 20 · 59
Those Walls
Those walls that you put up to protect you from everyone.                                                        ­                                             
                                                                ­                                                  
can isolate you from those who mean you no harm                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                           
I see you seeking safety and holding your breath                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
 but hiding from your life is like hiding from death                                        
                   ­                                                                 ­                            
  Sooner or later, something falls between the cracks                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
You only get one life, and you don't get yours back                                              
                                                                ­                                            
Everyone makes mistakes & you learn from them all,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
  so, knock down your barriers with a wrecking ball                                        
                                                                ­                                                
With tears comes growth & lessons learned                                                
         ­                                                                 ­                                    
Don't think that everyone   doesn't take their turn                                
                            ­                                                                 ­                           
I think it's true, that you reap what you sow,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                
plant a seed of trust and watch it grow                                                    
                                                                ­                                        
Embrace your life & proceed carefully,                                                       ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
no life is perfect & neither are we
Apr 20 · 87
Left Wondering Why
I will be okay, she said to me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                           
wiping a tear off with her sleeve                                                           ­                                                 
                                                                ­                                              
blood shot eyes looking at me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                              
smiling at me with false bravery                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                        Embarrassed by emotions shed,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
she put her hand on top of her head                                                            
                                                                ­                                              
Pushed me away & said,'' leave me alone''                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
I just need some time of my own                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
I did as she said out of respect,                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
she reacted in a way I didn't expect,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
she left the house, she was distraught,                                                      ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
I sat there, left with her thoughts                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                          
She was one of my best friends                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­         
after that day, never seen alive again                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                      
They found her after a few days                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                   
someone killed her in a bad way                                                              ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
I always felt responsible                                                      ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
but stopping her was impossible                                                       ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
If she had not run away,                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
she would still be here today                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­      
 So many things I wanted to say,                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
that may have changed that day                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
  I should have said,'' you can count on me''                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
That her friend, I would always be                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  and that if she ever fell apart,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
that I would hold her broken heart,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                   
until she was able to mend,                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I loved her, she was my friend                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
now I am filled with, ''if only I's?"                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
and left with wondering why?
For a friend who's no longer here. She'll forever be 18.
Apr 20 · 233
The Road to Depression
There's a long & winding road,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                 
 where for the price of your soul,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                    
depression will give birth                                                            ­                                                 
                                                                ­                                                    
 It costs whatever you are worth                                                            ­                                                
   If you chose to reside,                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                      
you better swallow your pride,                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
It'll take the strut from your stride,                                                          ­  
                                                                ­                                                
possess you from the inside                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
It lives to take your voice,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                              
make you surrender your choice                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                
                                                                ­                                                    
To dry all of your tears,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­        
pain is music to its ears                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        It gathers it's strength,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                   
during your quick descent                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
As you slowly wind down,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
no solutions to be found                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
The road is covered in vines,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                          
growing fast over time                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                    
don't find your way there,                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's the road to despair
Apr 20 · 94
This Is The Love
You deserve to feel heartbreak,                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
be forced to give, not take                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
I want you to feel devastation,                                                     ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
be put in awkward situations                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                      
You should endure deep pain,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
have it inflicted again & again                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
None of that will even come close,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
to what you gave me, what you chose                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
You should feel how it feels to cry,                                                            
                                                                ­                                          
wonder why I am not home at night,                                                        
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
ask yourself a million times, why?                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                
  keep getting up to look outside                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
You need to walk a mile in my shoes,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                             
while my decisions cause you to lose                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
Have your heart shatter like glass,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                               
  get no answers, but continue to ask                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                      
Screamed at by me while your frustration rises,                                                
          ­                                                                 ­                                         
as I cover up truths with fake disguises,                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                               
  look at you boldly while I am lying                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                            
This is what you have done to me,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
  this is the love that I have seen
Apr 20 · 80
The Devil's Due
You're cold & callous, a mega *****                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
and that's not even the half of it                                                               ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                
hope you get what's coming to you                                                              ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­               
but that is not for me to do                                                               ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
You'll hang yourself when you're through                                          
               ­                                                                 ­                                        
and I don't feel sorry for you                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
What you put out, you take back in                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
and you'll be punished for your sins                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                    
So, while you're laughing at my pain,                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
I take comfort in what I've gained,                                                    
                                                                ­                                              
some insight into your black heart                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
and a front row seat to you falling apart                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
Yes, I thought you were a friend                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                            
 but in time, my heart will mend                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll put to use to what I've learned,                                                         ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
that some people want to watch you burn                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­          
That smirk you have on your face,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
will be the first thing that gets erased,                                                          ­                                                                 ­   
whenever the Devil collects his due,                                              
              ­                                                                 ­                                   
you will have hell to answer to
Apr 20 · 153
The Insect In Me
Somewhere deep inside of me,                                                            
                                                                ­                                              
there's an insect squirming                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                            
waiting for an opportunity                                                      ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                   
or a perfect morning                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­                     
It laid dormant for so long,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                       
I thought it was dead                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
but I was dead wrong,                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                          
it chose to be hidden instead                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
I would get a glimpse of it                                                               ­                                                                 ­                              
                                                                ­                                      
Somedays, I would cover it up                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                      
I tried to forget about it                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
but it was never enough                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
One day it just emerged,                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                      
quite by mistake                                                          ­                                                                                                                      ­                                               
right on the verge of its big break                                                    
                                                                ­                                                     
 It struggled inside of me,                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I could feel it writhe                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                
It wanted to be free,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I could sense it try                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­             
What could this insect be?                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
It was a butterfly
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