You're cold & callous, a mega *****                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
and that's not even the half of it                                                               ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                
hope you get what's coming to you                                                              ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­               
but that is not for me to do                                                               ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
You'll hang yourself when you're through                                          
               ­                                                                 ­                                        
and I don't feel sorry for you                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
What you put out, you take back in                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
and you'll be punished for your sins                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                    
So, while you're laughing at my pain,                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
I take comfort in what I've gained,                                                    
                                                                ­                                              
some insight into your black heart                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
and a front row seat to you falling apart                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
Yes, I thought you were a friend                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                            
 but in time, my heart will mend                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll put to use to what I've learned,                                                         ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
that some people want to watch you burn                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­          
That smirk you have on your face,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
will be the first thing that gets erased,                                                          ­                                                                 ­   
whenever the Devil collects his due,                                              
              ­                                                                 ­                                   
you will have hell to answer to

Somewhere deep inside of me,                                                            
                                                                ­                                              
there's an insect squirming                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                            
waiting for an opportunity                                                      ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                   
or a perfect morning                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­                     
It laid dormant for so long,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                       
I thought it was dead                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
but I was dead wrong,                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                          
it chose to be hidden instead                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
I would get a glimpse of it                                                               ­                                                                 ­                              
                                                                ­                                      
Somedays, I would cover it up                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                                      
I tried to forget about it                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
but it was never enough                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
One day it just emerged,                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                      
quite by mistake                                                          ­                                                                                                                      ­                                               
right on the verge of its big break                                                    
                                                                ­                                                     
 It struggled inside of me,                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I could feel it writhe                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                
It wanted to be free,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I could sense it try                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­             
What could this insect be?                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
It was a butterfly

Standing on the front porch on a hot summer's day,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­
pregnant & barefoot, you chose to walk away                                                  
                                                                ­                                            
Standing in a pool of freshly cried tears,                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
enabled me to regret loving you for years                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
As your tires kicked up asphalt & dirt,                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
I was busy calling you a liar & a ****                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­    
I swore after that day I would be strong                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
and my grieving time wouldn't be long                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
I had our baby two months after you'd gone                                              
              ­                                                                 ­                                 
with him by my side, I was never alone                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                              
He was beautiful & you'd never know                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                   
because you weren't there to see him grow                                            
                ­                                                                 ­                                     
I never told him his daddy's name                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                      
I didn't want rejection to bring him shame                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
So, I just loved him for the both of us,                                                            
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
and always let him know that he could trust                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I know that you were trying to punish me                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
but I was the one doing the punishing                                                  
                                                                ­                                                          
I got years of his unconditional love,                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
not once were you mentioned or even thought of                                        
                      ­                                                                 ­                             
Now that you've grown into an old man                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                               
 and his life turned out better than you planned                                                      
   ­                                                                 ­                                                  
I don't feel bad that you are all
alone                                                          
                                                                ­                                                     
it's just a shame that your son is now grown

I see you smiling through your tears                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
   You still amaze me after all these years                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                              
                                                                ­                                                
Your strength helps me to believe                                                        
                                                                ­                                                   
   That all will be okay with me                                                               ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
   In your eyes I see a glimpse of hope                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
You are the only knot in a flimsy rope                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
  An anchor buried in me so deep                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                         
holding me steady, firm on my feet                                                                        ­                                                      
I often wonder where I would I be                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                           
without you always supporting me                                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
I admire every aspect of you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
You have always told me the truth                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                    
No secrets & nothing to hide                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
  So easy for me to confide                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                              
Na­turally beautiful in every way                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I love you more than I can say                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
You accept me just as I am                                                                  ­                                               
 Push me to be all that I
  can                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
You listen to me & you understand                                                       ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
I'll walk through life with you, hand in hand

You are drowning me with your negativity                                                       ­                                               
Coming off you like waves soaking me                                                               ­                    
                                                                ­                                                          
I look for the sunshine, I long to see,                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
feel it's rays on my face & be happy                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
You are the darkness, I need the light                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
You feed off me like a vampire at night                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                       
 Slowly draining me of my energy                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                               
Leaving me feeling weak & empty                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
You were a dark soul when we met                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­               
That I couldn't help you, I regret                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                            
You've one foot in the grave & one on my chest                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                
You've taken my all & stolen the rest                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
A dried-up flower I have become                                                           ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                  
 my beauty & scent are long gone

On the day that my Daddy died                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
I went home for my last goodbye                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
                                                                ­                                                
Took my last walk around that place                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
Held his jacket up to my face                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                             
breathed in my last scent of him                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                              
thought about how I'd miss him                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
paid my last respects at his grave                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                              
thanked him for all the love he gave                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
Then I cursed my stubborn pride                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                      
  because I wasn't there by his side                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
we had drifted apart with time                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                           
but he was always on my mind                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
I was stubborn, I was proud,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­
didn't say I was sorry out loud                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                
That was the pain I'd always have,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
after all, I still loved my dad                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                      
  I felt guilty for many years to come                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
  didn't want to face it, I'd rather run                                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
But in the end, it catches up to you                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
and when it does, it still rings true                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                      
I had to choose to forgive myself                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                           
or live a life writhing in hell                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                        
 I've come to grips with that pain                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                         whenever I see my dad again,                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                        
 I'll tell him that I was so wrong                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
I didn't know I didn't have long                                                             ­                                                                 ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­               
I have learned lessons along the way.                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
  I tell my loved ones I care every day                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                                  
  I know I'm still my daddy's girl,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
that he's watching me from his world                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
I sense his presence time to time                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
  He tells me he is doing just fine                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I know that he has forgiven me                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                                 
  and that knowledge sets me free

Anything I did to you is less than you deserved                                              
                                                                ­                                                 
When I said I hated you, I meant every word                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                   
your lying & cheating didn't break me down                                                        
You can do what you want, I won't be around                                                           ­                                          
                                                                ­                                                
 You can let your girlfriend take care of you                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                             
I am sure you will tell her what to do                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
You two can run off in the sunset today                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Don't let the door hit your *** on the way                                                        
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
You are Mr.Irresponsible,is she aware?                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                               
  That when she needs you, you won't be there?                                            
                                                                ­                                                
That when she starts acting just like me,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
that I wasn't the ***** you made out me to be                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                         
Goodluck, good riddance, you're not killing me,                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
I should thank her for setting me free                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                               
I hope you are happy now I am gone                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
she will go too & you'll be alone

I feel like I am shattered glass                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­   
Splintered, broken, still intact                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                               
Held together with resilience                                                       ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­     Straight forward no nonsense                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
You tell me I am too serious                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
you don't understand any of this                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                      
If you walked a mile in my shoes                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                
then you would be somebody who                                              
               ­                                                                 ­                            
trusted in people & was hurt in return                                                        
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
was fed to the fire, charred & burned                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                    
 who put their faith into backstabbing *******                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
held together with a thousand stitches                                                         ­   
                                                             ­                                             
walking wounded casualties of war                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
what are you judging me for?                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
I am a survivor despite my pain                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
  who's learned to never trust again                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­         
  Don't look at me as injured & flawed                                        
                                                                ­                                            
  despite the odds, I have stood tall

You wonder why I am with you                                                              ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                        
I hear you ask the reason why                                                              ­   
                                                                ­                                              
Because no one loves me like you do                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
You make me laugh until I cry                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                          
There'­s no one I even think of                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                            
                                                                ­                                            
 When I'm with you it feels so right                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
  I love the way you love me                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­    
  I don't want you out of my sight                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                              
When you wrap your arms around me                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
pull me close & hold me tight                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                 
 You make me so **** happy                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
It gets me through the night                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                              
  When we are not together                                                         ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I close my eyes & see your face                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
I want to be with you forever                                                          ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                         
No one could ever take your place

Even though the love is gone                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
I am still holding on                                                               ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
  I am too scared to let go                                                               ­                                                   
I don't want to be alone                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                        
I am protecting my heart                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                     
It bears so many scars                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                        
I need some time to heal                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
I'm still afraid to feel                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't go back to us                                                               ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­    
You're someone I can't trust                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't forge on ahead                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­           
with a heart that is dead                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I can't keep up this pace                                                             ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                        
I just need a safe place                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I need to catch my breath                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                                      
I need to give my heart a rest

If this is the last time I see you,                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                
please know that you were loved                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
and is you're missing me too                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                    
then you can look up above                                                            ­                                                
I will always be watching,                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                            
making sure you're okay,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
 even though we aren't touching,                                                        ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
I'll be with you each day                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                                
  You were my favorite treasure                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                 
 that I was blessed to have                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
and it was my pleasure                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
to guide you down life's path                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
  If you ever loved me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                
keep me in your heart                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                
with your love & memories                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
I will never part

She holds her hand over the flame,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                         
                                                                ­                                            
 trying to tolerate the pain                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­        
behind her someone calls her name,                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                        
in their attempt to make her refrain                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
She blinks back her hot tears,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                     
 that she's held back for a thousand years                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
but it isn't the pain she fears                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                     
 and not from the voice she hears                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                    
In her mind she is not there,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
she's taken herself to somewhere,                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
  that she can escape & not care                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
from the reality she cannot bear                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                     
  running fast, she's broken free                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                    
  of all those painful memories                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
like a horse out of the gate                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
she runs from her growing fate                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
as a child, she was abused                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
as a teen, she was confused                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
a little girl who was used                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­
helped all that anger to fuse                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
into the girl whose name                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                      
  is being called again & again                                                            ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                       
so many people are to blame                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                    
for hurting the girl who seeks the flame

I am broken into pieces                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                     
  No glue will ever mend                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
Out of anyone's reaches                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
  I will no longer pretend                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­                     
I am holding onto ledges,                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                          while defying gravity                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                    
with oil on the edges,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                        
I cannot rescue me                                                               ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
I am walking a fine line,                                                            ­                                                              
wi­th a heavy heart                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
But I'll say that I'm fine.                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
so, I don't fall apart                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                              
  Inside a war is raging,                                                          ­                        
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's me against myself                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
But I'll keep on staging,                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
So no one can tell,                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                
that I am really close to                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                    
 going straight to hell                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
No one knows what I go through,                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                      
  I guess it's just as well

This is my heart broken in two,                                                             ­                                                                      ­                                                      
it can't heal; it still loves you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Th­ese are my eyes tearing & blue                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
They can't dry; I still miss you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
These are my hands, shaking so bad                                                              ­                                                  
              ­                                                                 ­                                 
They just let go of the best I've had                                                            
                                                                ­                                                 
 These are my lips cracked & dry                                                          
                                                                ­                                              
Missing your kiss, asking why?                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                               
 ­ These are my feet unable to move                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't live here without you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                
This is my life without you in it                                                                     ­                                        
 Missing a piece that only you fit

During the time we were apart,                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­  
wounds formed scars on my heart                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                    
Now whenever I close my eyes,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­     
I see you & her, I can't deny,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
when we kiss it isn't the same,                                                            ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                          
I feel your mouth say her name                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
then I flashback to where we were,                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
when I caught you alone with her,                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
I know you want us to move on,                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                              
but I'm not sure I am that strong                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                    
It's not easy to forgive & forget,                                                                    ­                         
because I am not over it yet
                                                                    ­                                                  
Just because it fell through for you,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­               
doesn't mean I should go back to you                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
You should have thought about it first                                                      
                                                                ­                                             
 before you decided it was me, you'd hurt                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                                 
I 've been with you through thick & thin                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                         
and you **** on me again & again                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
Don't blame me for what you've done,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
I won't miss you when you are gone                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
While you were busy replacing me,                                                        
     ­                                                                 ­                                                
I was seeing what I couldn't see                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­   
Now that I have really opened my eyes,                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                        
I love you less than I realized                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                                    
So, thanks for the favor for me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                     
Maybe she is still there waiting

What words do you say to your only son,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                         
When he's going to jail on a ****** one?                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                        
Do you tell him to be brave & strong?                                                          ­    
                                                            ­                                                          
Do you confront him on being wrong?                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                       
Do you hug him knowing his life is through?                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
Remind him of what he's done to you?                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                               
  Do you smile & put on a brave face,                                                   
                                                                ­                                                  
  knowing he'll spend life in a hellish
place?                                                        
                                                                ­                                                      
Do you promise to visit him frequently,                                                      ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
Knowing he'll serve his life lonely?                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                       ­                       
What do you say to your only son,                                                             ­   
                                                                 ­                                             
When you know he's guilty on a ****** one?                                          
                  ­                                                                 ­                               
Do you support him as best as you can?                                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
Do you tell him to be the better man?                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
Do you tell him to tell the whole truth?                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
Knowing exactly what it's going to do?                                              
                                                                ­                                                  
Do you blame him or blame yourself?                                                        ­                                                                 ­               
You didn't load the shotgun shells                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
Do you throw your hands in the air?                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                 
Cry out to God in your despair?                                                         ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
Do you fall to your knees & pray?                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
Do you let him find his own way?                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
Do you cry & break down
inside?                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                             
 Tell him there's no reason to
lie?                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                       
What do you tell your only son,                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                             
Whe­n he's going to die for a ****** one.

Sixteen years ago, on this same date                                                                      ­                                                    
 I was in such a different headspace                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
Hopele­ss & thought that nobody cared                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                        
I convinced myself to not be scared                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                               
I gathered up all the medications                                                      ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
More than enough for relaxation                                                       ­                     
                                                                ­                                                    
Laid down on the couch like I had                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                           always done before when I felt bad                                                      
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
I had spent so much time lately                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                               
Planning & plotting ******* me                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
  That night I couldn't take it anymore,                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                       
  I had pain inside of my inner core                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I put my faith in the whole amount,                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
A handful of courage, I drank them down                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                           
All of this dialogue in my head                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                     
   would soon be silenced, would be dead                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
But God had other plans for me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­       
  sent an angel and his mercy                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                
Now I am feeling so differently,                                                     ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
I thank God for loving me

There is an ocean deep inside of me                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                                     
and lately I've gone deep sea diving                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
I'm doing a little bit of self-reflection                                                  ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­   
Making sure I'm headed in the right direction                                                    
   ­                                                                 ­                                        
Trusting my intuition, no second guess                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                          
It's working pretty well, no problems yet                                                    
         ­                                                                 ­                                    
Walking in the path that's right for me                                                            
                                                                ­                                            
Standing tall in the face of adversity                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                    
Saying what I believe is the real truth                                                           
Even if it's not hitting your sweet  
tooth                                                    ­                
                                                                ­                                                
Hold my head up & walk through the crowd                                                  
                                                                ­                                                
This is me being me, me being proud

So, while I'm here broken & ******                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                              
Mascara smeared; she still looks pretty                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
Even with that smile in her eyes                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                
  That ***** is the devil in disguise                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
She took my love & my pride                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­         
Now every day, I die inside                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
Puffy faced & pouting mouth                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
She shows you what love's about                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                  
She was a habit you couldn't quit                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                   
  It was me you chose to forget

Unblinking eyes, plastic smiles                                                                       ­    
Not seeing me, this thing defiled                                                                      ­ 
No friends, many enemies                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                             
No one cares about me                                                                          ­                                        
                                                                ­                                        
 Shunned kids at school                                                           ­     
                                                                 ­                                                     
Not good enough, too uncool                                                                      ­                                           
 Taking me to my limit
                                                           ­                                                            
I just kept on taking it                                                                  ­                                        
Pushing it down deep inside                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                           
Shows itself as I hide                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
A target, bullied every day                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I die a little more each day                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                      
Collapsing inside, heart first                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                        
Don't they how much it hurts?                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                      
In private, hot tears slide                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                              
Won't let them take my pride                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
I pretend that I don't care                                                             ­                                               
                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
Don't return their cold stares                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                
Rush back home to get away                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                              
Don't want to be bullied today

Between you & me the sands of time ran out                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                        
So many memories that I forgot about                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                
Riding out on a canoe, swimming at the Gap                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
The first time you kissed me, I was taken aback                                              
First date in January snow, it was so **** cold                                
                            ­                                                                 ­                       
Your love was the first I'd known & it felt like gold                                              
              ­                                                                 ­                                   
  Going out to your parent's place, I was so **** scared,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
  and from the look on your face, you were scared as well                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                           
  but it all worked out & we had a good time                              
 Without any doubts we got along just fine                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
We dated for a long time & before we knew                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
You were all mine & our love grew                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
  Sadly, I was much younger than you                                                                      ­                                                
  You grew more serious than I really knew                                            
                ­                                                                 ­                                 
  You were ready to marry & wanted to have kids                                
                            ­                                                                 ­                 
  More quickly than I ever did                                                              ­                                            
 You began to scare me with all your
needs                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                            
  And I wanted more than I received                                                         ­ 
                                                                ­                                                  
You were my first love, but the timing was bad                                                                            ­                                                     
I was too young & you were all I'd had                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                                  
I wanted to live, I wanted to love                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
I wanted to see what else there was
                                                                 ­                                                   
I'm so sorry I hurt you, it wasn't my intent                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
I was too young to know what love really meant                                    
                       ­                                                                 ­                              
I know you loved me & wanted it to work                                
                                                                ­                                            
Believe me, I never wanted you to hurt                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
It wasn't until the same thing happened to me                              
                                                                ­                                                
 That I knew I had to tell you, I am so sorry

Get your knee off of my neck                                                             ­                                                                 ­                
Take your foot off of my chest                                                            ­                
 You used to say I was the best                                                             ­               
You fill my heart up with regret                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
You build me up to bring me down                                                             ­                                                
I do better when you're not around                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
You want me 6 feet underground                                                      ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
Prefer me not to make a sound                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                    
At one time, those big dark eyes,                                                            ­                                                          
      ­                                                                 ­                                       
made me feel safe inside                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
but there was hatred brewing there                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                              
  exposed by your cold, blank stares                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
  Y­ou are not who you used to be                                        
                                                                ­                                  
  Sometimes, I think you'll **** me                                                               ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I think you have a monster inside                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                
That you wish you could still hide                                                             ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                              
I no longer feel love for you                                                              ­                                                                 ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
  I only stay because of what you'll do                                                               ­                                                                 ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
  I'm too scared to run away                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
I know that will fan the flames                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
The thrill of the hunt in you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                 
                                                                ­                                                
will give you any **** excuse                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                    
  To give me what you think I need                                                             ­                                                                 ­
  A lesson you're sure that I'll heed

They were breaking her, she was their favorite game,                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                
Her face was a blur, they all called her names,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
She could have been anyone; they just had a need                                                                   ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
to hurt someone with their reckless deeds                                                            ­                                                           
     ­                                                                 ­                                          
Fragile as glass, they chipped away at her,                                                                      ­                                                   
all in the same class, they liked throwing dirt                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
Some said she had demons of her own                                                                     ­                                               
they exorcised theirs by computer & phone                                                
                                                                ­                                                
They saw her as weak & hoped to bring her down                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                           
They sought out to seek someone to push around     
                                                                 ­                                                   
It all became too much; she committed suicide                                    
                     ­                                                                 ­                                
It was just too much for her to abide                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
They had broken her, she was their favorite game,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                            
   To them a faceless blur whose life forever changed

What are you so afraid of?                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­Being gay isn't contagious                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
Why can't you be true to you?                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                                   
Love anyone that you want to.                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
Is it wrong to be different?                                                       ­             
                                                                ­                                                    
Who are we to consequence?                                                     ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
We're all unique in our own way                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
What is wrong & who's to say?                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                         
Judgement is passed so easily                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
Like a cycle of stupidity,                                                       ­                                                              
Do you believe you can choose                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­
Be careful of who you lose                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
Friends come is all colors & size                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
Do you have so many by your side?                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                
That you can choose to discard                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                        
everyone who's not your star?                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                        
  Words can hurt so **** much                                                             ­                                                                 ­    
                                                                ­                                                
  Stop the hatred, enough is enough!                                                          ­                                                      
          ­                                                                 ­                                     
  This hate could only make sense                                                            ­             
                                                                ­                                                      
If we embraced intolerance

Behind brown eyes & a beautiful face                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                                       ­              
Lay sad memories she wished to erase                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
She longed to not be part of the human race                                                  
                                                                ­                                                   
 Now God has set her free                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
Not always what we hoped she would be                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
We needed more than our reality                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
We saw things she couldn't see                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
Now God has set her free                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
I never thought we would be friends                                                          ­
                                                                ­                                                  
But that's what happened in the end                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                        
Sharing memories & making amends                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                               
Now God has set her free                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
I know she's in a better place                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
All her pain has been erased                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
   I 'm sure there's a big smile on her face                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                             
  Now God has set her free

Don't you know once we're down this road, there's no going back                  
                                                                ­                                                      
All these years of loving you, where did we fall off track?                                
                                                                ­                                              
Looking back at all the years, I doubt we would know when                                                             ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
We would rather hate each other than to call the other friend                          
                                                                ­                                                    
No use getting sentimental, it is what it is                                                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I don't know where we go after all of this                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
You can go your way, and I will go mine, there's no turning back                      
                                      ­                                                                 ­               
The cards are laid & they've been played but the cards were stacked                
                                                                ­                                                      
It was felt but not said aloud for a long, long time                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
We could have lived in ignorance & it would be just fine                                      
                      ­                                                                 ­                           
But I decided that truth would set us both free                            
                                ­                                                                 ­             
What we couldn't see was how it affected us emotionally

I'd like to thank personally                                                       ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
For all the years of misery                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                     
That you have inflicted on me                                                               ­         
                                                       ­                                                                 ­  While I gave of myself endlessly                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
You always treated me like ****           
                                                                        ­                                                         Telling me that I deserved
it                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
And yes, it hurt quite a bit                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                
I'm glad to say I am past all of it                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                
 You really hit below the belt                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                          
Making me hate even myself                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                      
Oblivious to how I felt                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
You lit the fire, watched me melt                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
I absorbed your every blow                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I didn't have the sense to know                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                
That I could just turn & go                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
  and in return I would then grow                                                             ­                                                                 ­        
                                                                ­                                        
Through God's strength & mercy                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                  
He had a different plan for me                                                              
                                                                ­                                                  
He opened my eyes so I could see                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
That you weren't worthy of me                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                           
  Looking back on those dark days                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
  I can't imagine why I stayed                                                           ­                                                             
   ­                                                                 ­                                              
  and let a man treat me that way                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­  and told myself it was okay                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I have learned from my mistakes                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                                
That real love is about give & take                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                                 
  the next time, that I fall I'll make                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                  
**** sure my heart isn't at stake

You said you would never call me names                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
But you lied & now nothing is the same                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
If you hit me, it would be less pain                                                             ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                               
 Love is replaced: resentment has remained                                                         ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
 I remember when you loved me much more                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
And now you don't love me anymore                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­   
We live together, yet we live apart                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
  Our hatred has changed our hearts                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
  We'll never go back to what we had                                                              ­                                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
All the good in you has changed to bad                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
  I can't be who you expect me to be                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                            
   You've ****** the light right out of me                                                               ­                                                           
                                                                ­                                                      
   I won't try to hold on to you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
   Make my heart numb. not be a fool                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
    It won't help to say that you're sorry                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                  
    You meant what you said, no apology                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
    I guess I needed to hear a moment of honesty                                                
                                                                ­                                                
    Even if was peppered & haughty                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
   I won't say that you didn't tear me apart                                                            ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                           
   With your wandering eye, wandering heart

I like the Darkside, what bumps in the night                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                            
   I can't hardly wait till you turn out the light                                                            ­                                                                                ­                                                     
I creep around trying to give you a fright                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
A Vampire's instinct a big appetite                                                                     ­                                                     
I am the monster who's under your bed                                                      
       ­                                                                 ­                                                  
I am the reason that you can sense dread                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                      
Turn on the flashlight, cover your head                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
Don't call for your parents, they're already dead                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
  I like to tease the victim before the ****                                                             ­                                                           
     ­                                                                 ­                                              
  So, I wouldn't run, be very still                                                            ­                                                                 ­                               
                                                                ­                                                  
   Just like a child who won't swallow their pill                                                             ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                                  
  The fear gets to them, I like the thrill                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
   I've practiced along time hunting the scared                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                
   They like to scream & run to nowhere                                                    
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
   But in the end, fair is fair                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
    I've given no recourse but to get scared

She hurts herself, it's all she knows                                                            ­                                                                                              ­                                                   
the pain inside grows & grows                                                            ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
It runs too deep from head to toe                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                         
                                                                ­                                                
How do you stop the wind that blows?                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
Self-inflicted wounds, no relief in sight                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                           
Light the fuse on the dynamite                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
She scars herself, but can't release the knife                                                            ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
Can't see the sun, it's always night                                                            ­                                           
 She cries & cradles her legs with her arms                             
                
Knows the enemy who does the most harm                                                      
                                                                ­                                                          You'd think that would set off alarms                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                 
Can't someone save her with their charms?                                                          ­                                                      
          ­                                                                 ­                                       
  She has never known the feeling of love                                          
                  ­                                                                 ­                         
Noone has held her high enough                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                       
Is there some way she can rise above                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                
  The self-destruction she's proof of

You were ravaging me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                            
Tearing my soul apart                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                           
                                                                ­                                                    
Why can't you let me be                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                  
Leave what's left of my heart                                                            ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                             
                                                                                                                      
I feel like I can't breathe                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                    
Your hatred is all around                                                           ­                                               
                                                                ­                                              
Making you too blind to see                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                      
You have lost what you found                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                              
Wipe that smirk off your face                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
You're not as smart as you think                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
I am leather not lace                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  My heart black, was once pink                                                             ­                                               
                                                                ­                                             
 When I let myself feel                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
I lost all control                                                          ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
Now my wounds are healing                                                          ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                             
I am reclaiming my soul                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                      
I am walking away                                                             ­                                           
                                                                ­                                        
Thinking only of me                                                               ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                      
I don't care what you say                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­                This is the end of "we"

I can feel the heat                              
                              ­                                                                           
 Coming from your fire                                    
                                                                  
my heart skips a beat                                                                          ­                                                       
  I am burning with desire                                                                        ­   
                                                                      ­                                                
    Put your hand in mine                                              
                                                                ­                                                           Come along with me                                                               
         ­                                                                 ­                                            
    As our fingers intertwine,                                                                                          ­                                                     
I can't even breathe                                                                   ­                                                      
I can smell your scent                                                                       ­                                                    
 It smells so good to me                                                                    ­                                                
You are heaven sent                                                                      ­                                               
This is meant to be                                                                    ­                                                  
Let me hold you near                                                             ­                                                                                                                          ­                                      
Feel your strong embrace                                                                                ­           
  Whisper in your ear                                                                         ­                                    
My breath on your face                                                                      ­                                  
Want to feel your touch       
                                                                                  ­                                    
  I crave your caress                                                                     ­                                                      
  I love you so much                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­              
     Will accept nothing less                                                                      ­                                             
   Want to taste your lips                                                                             ­                                                
   Run my hands over you                                                                    ­                                                
   How could I resist                                                                      ­                  
The fire inside you

The wind whispers softly to me                                                               ­                                    
                                                                ­                                            
 Telling me how my life could be                                                                  ­                                                    
 A story unrehearsed                                                                          ­                                               
Love in every verse                                                                    ­                                                   
Of two who overcome                                                                            ­                      
the odds to falling in  love                                                                          ­                             
Gentle breeze , tell me more                                                                         ­                                                  
Let me know what love is for                                                                                 ­                                                      
I listen quietly every day                                                                          ­                                   
To hear if love is on the way                                                                     ­                                    
Even leaves fall in pairs                                                                          ­                                                     
It seems that love is everywhere       
                                                                                                    
Everywhere but here with me                                                                            ­                                                     
all alone under this old tree                                                                                                                                                      ­   
The wind caresses my skin                                                                  ­                                                    
Where loving hands could have been                                                                    ­                                              
Why must I be all alone                                                            ­                                                                 ­                    
I want a love of my own

You're cheating on me with her                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                  
  She's believing your every word                                                                       ­                                              
Does she know you promised me                                                               
To be all mine for eternity                                                                      ­                                               
Does she know you said you'd die                                                                                 
If it didn't work out for you & I?                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­              
   Couldn't you make her understand                                                                     ­
That you & I had made plans?                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                    
Is she ready for a broken heart                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
or did you leave out that part                                                             ­                                                
 Is she ready to sit by the phone                                                                          ­                                                       
Is she happy home & alone                                                            ­                                                                                                                 ­                                                
Does she like heartbreak                                                                                       ­                                         
  Can she handle more than she can take                                                             ­                                          
 Does she want to be taken advantage of?                                                   
Then I am sure, it's true love

I call you up to hear your voice                                                            ­                                                  
I know it's lame; I have no choice                                                    
   Now what am I supposed to do?                                                              ­                                              
   It's all that I have left of you                                                              ­                                                   
 I know that it has been years                                                            ­                                                  
  But despite crying many tears                                                            ­                                                  
  They've never stopped or healed                                                           ­                                           
  My broken heart & how it feels                                                            ­                                                  
  Since the day you didn't come home                                                             ­                                                
  I 've left your voicemail on the phone                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
Your things are how they were left                                                             ­                                                     
I haven't changed anything yet                                                              ­                                                   
    I just can't bring myself around                                                           ­                                               
 To the fact that you're in the ground                                                           ­                                       
Because I can feel you here with me                                                               ­                                              
 Exactly where I need you to be                                                               ­                                                     
   I have all the pictures you made                                                             ­                                                 
Been on the frig since second grade                                                            ­                                                  
   It's like you never went away                                                             ­                                           
  And I need it to stay that way                                                              ­                                         
 Your clothing still smells like you                                                              ­                                                   
I can't even clean your room                                                             ­                                                 
    I open the window each day                                                              ­                                               
 So, you can come in & play                                                             ­                                                 
  I still long to see your face                                                             ­                                                  
 I wish I could take your place                                                            ­                                              
  So young & carefree of heart                                                            ­                                                
Your passing tore me apart                                                            ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                    
It's something I can't accept                                                                      ­                                         Perhaps until my own death

I know I was drawn to coming here                                                             ­                                               
to a dark room with a mind to
clear                                                            ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
I need some time to think about me                                                               ­                                            
                                                                 ­                                              
And find out what my life needs to be                                                               ­                                                          
 I have a habit of blaming myself                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                             
    Give all my love to everyone else                                                             ­                                                
   So, what I have been repressing                                                                  ­                                                
Has bubbled up & effervescing                                                     ­                                         
A hard battle that I have to win                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
   Am I worthy of self-forgiving?                                                                     ­                                                 
    It's time to let all the past go   
                                                                ­                                               
Less ebb & much more flow

You have taught me how to hate    
                                                                 ­                                                
You have yourself to congratulate                                                                    ­                         
 You showed me what would be my fate                                                                    ­                                           
 and it was more than I could take                                                                    ­                                                   
  I still gave you everything I had                                                                          ­                                                
 You left me holding an empty bag                                                                          ­                                              
 Now you have dug your own grave                                                                       ­                                                      
I hope when you crawl in, it caves                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                        
I have since removed my heart                                                                 
   You'll never get another part                                                                      ­                                         
   It is time you feel the loss                                                                              ­                             
   Miss all the love you've lost                                                             
                                                                ­                                             
 When you realize that you were wrong,                                                                    ­                                        
  I will already be long gone                                                                                                       ­  
And all the hate you showed to me                                                                      ­                                                 
Will come back on you times three

I know you know you hurt me                                                                         ­                                                     
with words that were damaging                                                                             ­                                                  
I'd wait around for an apology                                                                                ­             
Wanted you say you were sorry        
                                                   ­                                                                   
I'd get angrier every passing day                                                                       ­                                                
And you never had anything to say                                                                      ­                                               
Like a fool I'd forgive & forget                                                                          ­                                       
Thought you still loved me yet                                                                              ­                                               
 kept chasing you as you ran away                                                                           ­                           
 Until I saw the truth today                                                                    ­                                    
 You never really loved me                                                                   ­                                        
  And that's why you aren't sorry                                                                          ­                                                     
I never had you to begin with                                                                        ­                                                
That is the sad fact of this                                                                         ­                                                       
I wished you had let me know                                                                                                                      
  Because I would have let you go      
                                                        ­                
  I know you never really loved me,                                                                    ­                                                
                                                                                                                
  But I was too in love to see

You left when I needed you most                                                             ­                                        
   When I was desperate & needed hope                                                             ­                                               
You didn't think that I could cope                                                                   ­                                                 
But I made it & cut those ropes                                                            ­                                        
  Now that you see that I'm free                                                             ­                                                   
You suddenly still love me                                                                       ­                                               
Now who's desperate & pathetic                                                                       ­                            
  How does it feel to be rejected?                                                                        ­                                                 
  I'll do the best that you did for me.                                                                            ­                                                     
It doesn't take much to give nothing.

I don't love you, nor you me                                                               ­                                               
   We are fused together in misery                                                           ­                                       
   Once hidden from visibility                                                       ­                                         
Now we radiate hostility                                                        ­                                            
    No more I love You's are said,                                                            ­                                                
Insults get hurled instead                                                                          ­                                            
 Back-to-back we lay in bed                                                              ­                                    
 Wishing that the other was dead                                                             ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                      
A volcano ready to erupt                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
Yet nothing left between us                                                                     ­                                            
  Makes me wonder if there ever was                                                                                                      
Except the hate I always got                                                                   ­    
It's sick, it's sad, it hurts so much                                                                      ­                                
 That I chose to hate over love

I have been spiraling down                                                                    ­                                 
Clawing at the muddy ground                                                           ­                                                              
 I pull myself up just to sink         
                                                                              ­                              
Always hanging on the brink                                                                       ­                                                    
  If I'd call for help, who'd hear                                                                     ­                                                  
  I'm all alone & my minds unclear                                                                     ­                                                    
 I scream in silence, so it seems                                                                    ­                                              
Haunted every night by dreams                                                                      ­                                                
   What is real & what is not                                                                        ­  
My pulse races, nerves are taut                                                             ­                                          
                                                                                                              
White knuckling through this life                                                             ­                                                                 ­                      
  Filled with pain, the future's blight                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
I am a human stain bleeding out                                                              ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                 
 No tunnel light, just doubt                                                                     ­                                                     
I 'm dead inside & life is hell                                                                      ­                                                 
This is the hand I have been dealt

When I walked into the bright light,                                                                    ­                                                        I knew I had just lost my life                                                                             
I came upon a set of stairs                                                                         ­                                              
 Saw the Lord waiting up there                                                                     ­                                      
  He said, "My child you are free"    
                                                                 ­                                
  Come on up & you will see                                                                         ­
All your pain & your despair                                                                      ­                           
You've left behind, down there                                                                      ­                                                     
I saw the angels coming down for me                                                                       ­                                              
 Light & goodness, an ocean breeze          
                                                                                                     
Lifting, gliding, peacefully                                                                        ­                                           
Feeling their light passed through me                                                                                    ­                                                 
  As Jesus stood watch over me,                                                                                 ­                                                        I raised my eyes up to see         
                                                                                                                    ­
The gates of Heaven & beyond                                                          
                                                                ­                                               
People gathered singing songs            
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
Old friends, dear pets & family                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
All waiting for me so patiently                                                                          ­                                                      
Surrounded by love & purity                                                                       ­                                                      
I knew I was where I should be    
                                                                                                                       
A joyous rush poured over me                                                               ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                
When Jesus extended his hand to me

You are a brick tied to my neck                                                                    ­                                        
Concrete blocks on my feet                                                                     ­                                          
I have given you my best,                                                            ­                                              
  but this isn't meant to be                                                                      ­                                            
 I held you up until I was tired                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                            
Wiped tears as they fell down      
                                                                ­                                                       
Your insecurities start to fire                                                                     ­                                    
Smothering me, I am bound                                                            ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                           
You have called me a liar, a cheat                                                                    ­                                                      
  and as soon as I start to react                                                                       ­                                               
 You are either crying on your knees                                                                       ­                                                  
 or rising up for another attack                                                                   ­                                                
You are ******* the life out of me           
                                                                ­                                                        
Not happy unless I am suffering,                                                       ­                                                                 
I just want to break free                                                                      ­                                     
  Take your chains off of me

After all the **** you put me through                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                        
   Claiming all along it's been me not you              
                                                                ­                                    
  You made me feel you were doing me a favor                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                              
  While I gave you all my best behavior                                                                   ­                                
Still, you say I am not good enough                                                                      ­                                                    
   I tell you that I am sorry that my love                                                                   ­                                                
Was something you wanted more of          
                                                                                 
  When I wasn't sure you loved me at all                                                                      ­                                             
    You pushed me away & put up walls                                                                     ­                                                      
  So here we are now, there is no mistaking                                                        ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­           
  Loving you was a huge undertaking

We don't even talk anymore                                                          ­                                                                             ­                                                  
No goodbye kisses at the door                                                             ­                                               
  I've got my life & you have yours                                                            ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
  We are still together, what for?         
                                                   ­                                                                   
You pretend that you still care                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                   
   Your mixed messages aren't fair                                                             ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                                      
I can see through the blank stares                                                           ­                                                                   ­                                          
 You're still here, but you're not there                                                            ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                        
    What the hell have we done to us?                                                                       ­                                             
Broken hearts, broken trust

Depression is a weight you can't  see                                                                        ­                                        
 Invading every fiber of your being                                                                     ­                                        
A black cloud that you carry with you                                                  
                                                                ­                                                        
It affects all that you say & do                                                                       ­                                          
A heavy sigh can never clear                                                                    ­                                                 
The pain & hopelessness of the years                                                                              ­                                                    
It can feel so suffocatingly tight            
                                               ­                                                                   
Just to breathe is a fight for your life                                                                      ­                                                    
 I 've heard people say you can't give in                                                                              ­                                 
But dying is less painful than living                                                         
  An uphill battle that never ends                                                                     ­                                              
Climbing that, you can lose wind                                                                          ­                                                      
  I have never made it to the top myself,                                                                        ­                                                   
So for now, I live in this limbo of hell

You can burn this book                                                                        ­                                            
Watch it die in the flames                                                           ­                                                 
                                                                ­                                              
  Every word that is in it                                                               ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                              
Won't make anything okay                                                                        ­                                                   
It's all about you & I                                                                       ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
How much I sacrificed                           
                                                                                          ­                             
It's about a man who cheats                                                                      ­                                             
When caught, he tells lies                                                                      ­                                                     
A story about a broken heart                                                                     ­                                                
  That once had a loving start                                                                        ­                                                      
 It questions why we're here                                                                  ­                                                    
Why these roads were never cleared                                                                   ­                                                      
I read it whenever I think that I                                                                    ­                                             
Want to give us another try

We fought until we fell apart                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                         
 No love left in each other's hearts                                                                        ­                                                      
All these years we can't regain             
                                                                                    ­                            
Any empathy that once remained                                                                 
I have always wondered why I stayed                                                           ­                                            
                                                                ­                                              
While you continued to push me away      
                                                                    ­                                                   
Now all of the love that we once knew                                                                     ­                                        
Has become a stain of me & you

You are in the corner you backed me into                                                                   ­                                              
 How does it feel to wear the other shoe?                                                                        ­                             
Tables have turned & I'm not going back                                                                         ­                                                  
 to being the rag doll in your attacks                                                                     ­                                               
Who's wearing your pants right now.              
                                                                ­                                               
Who's mouthing off, feeling **** proud?                                                                       ­                                              
Don't you just want to take control?                                                         ­                                                                 ­             
                                                   ­                                                               
 See how really deep you dug your hole?                                                                   ­                                        
I'm sure you don't know what this is                                                                    ­                                                      
  I always sat there & took your ****                                                                        ­                                                       
I think it's about time that you & me                                                                      ­                                       
Changed our shoe's permanently

You want to scream out loud in your rage                                                             ­                                          
                                                                ­                                                 
Like a circus lion trapped in a cage  
                                                                ­                                         
  Someone should teach you how to behave                                                                        ­                                                 
 All the while you treat me like your slave                                                                    ­                                                
You are a dictator through & through                                                                          ­                               
I cannot help how much I hate you                                                              ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                      
 What makes you do the things that you do           
                                           
And I am the one with the attitude?                                                        ­                                                       
 You throw affection like a dog's bone                                                                       ­                                              
Often enough so that I know I am owned                                                                            ­                         
With a noose hung around my neck                                                                         ­                                                
You pull on at times to keep me in check                                                            ­                                                          
You've­ had control of my entire life                                                                     ­                                              
I am a prisoner, I'm not your wife                                                                      ­                                    
 Let me go, please let me be free                                                                    ­                                                 
the way you love me is killing me