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This is NOT me!
This is NOT who I am!
This is NOT who I want to be!

I don’t want to be this person anymore,
This fake person who doesn’t belong.
I want to be my old self again.

I changed for you,
So you would accept me.
You still haven’t,
There’s always something wrong
That needs to be fixed.

Can I ever be someone you’ll be proud of or
Will I always be a disappointment?

Am I Perfect?
“No.”
Do I have your love?
“No.”
Are you proud to be with me?
“No.”
Would you replace me?
“Yes, in an instant.”
To you, the me that I am now is a bad thing,
So I need to reinvent myself to match your taste.

Well, I’m over it!
Find someone else to do your bidding!
Because I’m DONE being your little doll!
  
“WHO am I?”
I am someone I don’t want to be.
I hope you like it!! Please tell me what you think!!
The cold moonlight pierces my heart and
leaves me undone

Your thought gives me the warmth of a thousand suns
I shall dance through rain, through fog,
through day light that turns night.
I shall dance inside the wind,
when things don’t seem so right.

I shall breath deep inside me
to mediate and be.
Focusing on wisdoms light.    
I’m meant to feel so free.

To know I’m sacred and a gift.
I shall dance inside rhyme.
As I move in my path
I’ve learned I am divine.

So I shall dance inside rain
in days of clouds and sun
Integrating both as gifts  
with purpose to have fun.
Life grabbed me so I am slowly coming back to HP. Not that I haven't written of course I have perhaps I shall post them.
Inspired by Rose.
i will admit
i am not the type of girl
to go to a bar and sit in a cloud of smoke
and listen to music purely because it is live
and i apologize if that is what you were expecting of me
but that is just not me
i am the type of girl
to go to old hidden bookshops and inhale the scent of literature
i am the type of girl
to sit on my bed at 4 am and talk about all the thoughts to a friend
i am the type of girl
who is more interested in sitting around a bonfire than going to a mall
i am sorry to any human expecting anything more or less of me
but i am not like that, it's just not me
i am a homebody, i am an lover of the arts, i am an introvert
i am a lot of things, but i am not a loud and extroverted human
i love my comfortable home and my few friends
now you are aware of my awkwardness and inability to be uncomfortable
i refuse to do something i don't want to
i am not going to do something purely because of the view of others
i am me, i am not going to change
and you are you, and you shouldn't have to change to get along with me
i apologize for expecting that of me, but then again
i am not going to apologize for being me
i just had a very interesting weekend
the difference between 2017 and 2018 is

in 2017 i met you
in 2017 i fell in love with you
and in 2017 i lost you
and in 2017 i must leave you

in 2018 i no longer have but a memory of you
in 2018 i have myself and layers of trauma i'm not too sure me and my friends are ready to deal with yet

in 2017, you were You
in 2018 you are now Him

he does not deserve the privilege of You if He didn't recognise the privilege he had when he had Me.
going into 2018 with this mindset. let's hope it gets better
Dance with me;
Under this moonlight -
A song hangs prosy,
Through the January air ~

Give me your heart,
Send it to the angels -
Ut benedicta cor meum
Ut novus dominus est scriptor;
Up into the air,
Of our divine night
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