I used to be alone.
I used to watch people.
I wanted someone.
But I hated people.

Then I met you.
I had been alone for so long.
I knew you too.
Everyone said it was wrong.

I've become addicted.
You are the drug I can't live without.
I'm addicted.
You are the thing I can't lend out.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry i wasn't active.
I'm sorry for all the wrong i did.
I'm sorry for not being there for some people.
I'm sorry that I put myself before my fans, my poetry, and my friends.

I'm sorry

Hey guys, sorry this isn't a poem again, but I'm writing a book To find out more information on it, message me and I will give a brief rundown of the book. If you have editors/publishers/artists you may know, please lend me their contact info so I may contact them when I am done writing

PS: The title of the book is The Fallout

Mirror, Mirror on
the stained walls
who is the scariest of them all?

Mirror , Mirror upon
the studs,
why am i who i am?

****** Mary, ****** Mary, ****** Mary,
will you listen to me?
no one else has....

the mirror quit answering,
you are the closest thing i have to a friend

There is
              a little bird
                                 that sings
              until a storm
approaches.
              when danger is near
                                                  it screams a warning call
               I lost the little bird.
i never know when
              the storm is coming

come hide with me now.
under the blankets (no one
will look for us tonight)

We can hide, and no one will find us
we will be free,
we will worry no more...

The fire in my belly
the boots on a dancefloor
the felt hat i wear.

Texas is my home
no one can take it away
lone star state of mind

Allan, Waylon, George.
my idols growing up.
Texas is home

frio river, gulf coast
fishing in summer
barbequing in spring.

my home sweet home
is the country music
in the truck

my home away from home
is in the shop
with my brother and a welder

Chocolate and beer.
anger and fear.
your hands on my body.
hard and softly.

cigarettes and love.
the lion and the dove.
***** and drugs.
the same old plugs.

**** these cravings.
**** these
****.

God help me...
I'm not me.
i can't control myself.

Nie wiem, jak się lepiej czuć
kiedy wszystko co mam ochotę to gówno

(Translation)
Title: Feel Better
Poem: I don't know how to feel better
if all i want is ****

Thanks for teaching me so many things about life.
You remind me that I am not worth sacrificing.
I am too unique to die.
I am worth it all.
you let me be weird.
You taught me to "work smarter not harder."
you judge the hell out of my welds, but hey, you are better at it.
you have the best hugs, and your laugh is infectious.
you are the best big brother this little sister could ever as for.
I am **** lucky to have you in my life,
and I don't want it to end.

the sweet somethings in
my ear remind me of
a simpler time.
gone is the pain of rejection.
heartbreak is a foreign concept
when i'm with you.

your words are the
liquor i can't consume.
they make me drunk after
a few rounds.

my life has become
better since the day
i met you.

the first time
i realized that
i loved you
was when we
where younger.
i had my first
panic attack by
your side.
you hugged me
and told me
everything was going
to be okay.

i never stopped loving
you from that point on.

I will not stand on the sidelines while he takes the glory.
I plan to wake up every morning to the cold Alaska air, grab my helmet and go weld on a huge pipeline. I want to work where I know I will be treated just the same, where I can weld in peace. Enough is enough when I say "I will not stand for this." I don't want to work in a cubicle and wear a pretty skirt, writing cute little stories that will never happen. I am  welder, and that is what I'll be.
-------------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------
FUN FACT: I love to weld, and if you have questions, feel free to message me. This poem is written to try and open peoples eyes up to the fact that women can weld just as good as men. we are no different.

I'm not.
I think the world is against me.
I think I will never amount to anything.
I think I can't do anything right.
I think it will be okay.
But it never is.
It will never be okay, not in a million years.
It will never be fine, like I tell my mom everyday.
It will always be a ******* **** show of my life.
The scariest part is, I can't remember how I felt before.
I can't remember the happiness, or the joy.
All I can remember is the sadness, the anger'
The pain, the ripping in my chest.
Every time I think I'm done.....

You walk through life, thinking, wondering.
you always look down, afraid of spoiling the end.
you never look up to see anything, but your feet shuffling along.
nothing can shake the feeling you get when you look p to see another human.
you feel ach, and nervous, and sad all at the same time.
you cant help it, it wont go away



it never left

the hardest thing to do right now, is choose.

Help Me
Help Me
I'm **** between Heaven and Hell. No one has come to save me. No One will help me. It's pure hell where I am. All I hear is screams and cries of painful torture. The Devil is among me, he wants my soul, he wants my heart. No one will save me, for all of my cries meld with the others. Save me. Please. I can't hold onto what little hope I have kept stored for years.  You are nothing without me. Please don't loose me. You are all I've got in this world.

Signed,
Your mind

There is no monster like the one inside your mind. There is no truth that can cut as deep as a knife, as the truth that is said inside your head. There is nothing heard clearer by your own ears than the screams your mind's screaming in your years. You are not the enemy, but you are the only one who can save you in a time like this.

Where I walk in the front door and see you,
sleeping on the couch,
I smile, kissing your hair lightly.
You smile, welcoming me home.

Work was crazy,
But coming home to you
makes up for it all.

I know now, i am home.

I never was alone.
I had a family.
one that cares,
unlike my blood family.

"So what if she wants to **** herself...
she wont do it..."

"all she wants is attention..."

"She will loose her friends faster than lightning..."

HOW ABOUT YOU ******* REALIZE THAT THE ONLY REASON I AM ALIVE IS BECAUSE OF MY FAMILY AT SCHOOL?

OPEN YOUR **** EYES TO SEE ME!

thats all i ask.... and its too hard for you

I made a friend,
He's just like me.
We feel alone at times,
But we aren't alone.
He's a big fan of my work,
Actually, the only big fan.
He is really supportive,
And He understands.

(Sorry, this wont be a poem.)
Many of the users of this page do not know me, so I might as well introduce myself.
Hey, My name is Lucy. I'm 16, about to be 17 in a week, and I love to write poetry. I'm a junior in high school, i love to weld, an I have an amazing boyfriend.

(Here comes the personal ****.)
I suffer from anxiety, and depression. Every great once in a while, I fall into these pits of anger, sadness, anxiety, you name it.  My boyfriend has been amazing and helps me through these pits. My brother is always there when I need that warm embrace. My best friend has been helping me through these pits and is trying to help me look at the bright side.

If anyone knows a way to help with these kinds of pits, please comment below or message me. I'm in need of some serious help.

i need to talk.

You think its gonna be a friendship.
You tell yourself, "No, hes not like that..."
its one drink after another....
next thing you know, hes got you right where he wants you.
he's got you panting his name among other things...

Then your his wifey... his boo... his shorty....

you do everything for him.
you clean the house, you dress up nice, you give him pleasure.
he's out late, comes home drunk and high.
Momma told you that he was bad news.
Dad wont even talk to you.

you act concerned, but your in too deep, you love the *******.
then it hits you when he hits you.
you say hes just mad, he'll calm down in an hour.
Yeah, an hour turns to a day, then a week, then a month, then a year. it never ends, the river of tears.

You are scared to leave him, but youre scared to love him too.

maybe you should have turned down that drink.....

You can do this. (Do you even understand?)

The fight is half over. (No. it's just begun...)

Don't stop believing. (can't stop if you never started...)

It can't be that bad... (Oh... It's much worse...)

What's wrong? (What isn't?)

It'll be okay... (No... It will never be okay.)

(No I'm not fine... No I don't want to talk about it... No I don't need a hug... I just want you to leave me the **** alone...)

I used to say i wasn't good enough...
I used to think i couldn't do it...
I used to act like i was nothing...

until i met him...

now i say i am good enough...for him
now i think i can do it...for him
now i act like i am something... the love of his life

I met him... and everything changed...

Kisses for the Good Girl.
Kisses for a sleepy Baby.
Kisses for a scared Kitten.
Kisses for a good Girl.
Daddy loves you, don't forget that, okay baby girl?
Yes daddy... I wont forget.

I hold one of your fingers, like if I let go, I wont have you.
You laugh and smile down at me, your Little Girl.
Nothing has mattered more to you, than being your Little Girl's protector, hero, everything.


I cuddle under your chin, your strong hands on my back.
the smell of your cologne is refreshing, like chocolate and lavender.
People look at me weird when i'm being your Little Girl, but I don't care.
I will be your Little Girl until the end of time...
your warm breath on my hair keeps me calm, comforts me when I have nightmares, and lets me know that you will always be there.
your laugh makes me happy,
your cuddles are the best.
no one can take away my Daddy.

Dear Mom,

I've gotten used to the boots, the heavy bags, the rapid gunfire, the swearing, the strenuous workouts, but I love it. Here, I belong. This is what I was born to do. I was born to protect the innocent, keep our freedom, and sacrifice myself for the greater good. I'm the Marine I was born to be. Tell my wife I love her, and our baby too. I don't know when I'm coming home, but I'll be okay, knowing you guys have one.

                                                                                        Love,
                                                                                   Spencer

Dear Dad,

The Marines has changed me. I'm not the angry kid I used to be. I've gotten used to the boots, the armor, the swearing, the yelling, and I love it. I miss Lucy like crazy, and I miss our baby too. I don't know when I'm coming home, but I'll be okay, knowing she and the baby are safe. tell her I love her, and Tell Mom I love her too. I miss home.
                                                                              Love, Spencer

Love is wearing his shirt around the house because it's the only comfortable thing.
Love is replacing your last name with his because it sounds wayyyy better.
Love is trying desperately to get his name out of your head so you can concentrate.
Love is quitting a 20 year drinking problem because you have a baby on the way.
Love is wanting to **** him every **** day, but then he makes you smile when you are crying.
Love is watching his play with his niece and trying not to cry at how adorable it is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
­Lust is yearning for her sweet kiss.
Lust is trying not to think of all the things you want to do to her.
Lust is biting your lip when she walks toward you.
Lust is thinking about her body....
Lust is loving her despite all her flaws.
Lust is the sensation that drives you mad at times....

Love and lust are two polar opposites, but they attract like the strongest magnet....

That's how I feel.
Not once do I feel as good as I should be.
I'm as useless as dead leaves in the spring.
New leaves make people excited because they bring shade.
All I'm good for is starting a fire that could **** a person.
Fire is bad, just like me.
I'm bad for the people around me, I'm bad to the people I love.
I'm just a bad person.
Sure I may seem successful, but I don't do anything.
I'm as useless as a wet lump of coal.

"Don't worry about the monsters under your bed, honey...
Worry about the monsters inside your head..."

It's hard to explain, the thought, the bad things.
They don't cross my mind, they flop down and make themselves at home.
It's not the simple fact of the matter.
Mom thinks I'm moody.
Dad thinks it's "teen angst". Whatever the **** that is.
My sister can't stand it...

HOW ABOUT YOU OPEN YOUR ******* EYES FOR ONCE?

HOW ABOUT YOU CRAWL INTO MY SKIN?

HOW ABOUT YOU THINK ABOUT ME FOR ONCE?

I'M FALLING APART IN FRONT OF YOU...

AND YOU DONT CARE...

DO YOU?

My poems are the black roses on the grave of the girl I used to be.
They came from the girl I am now.
Each rose has the title of each poem I have ever wrote written in gold.
"I" (meaning the girl I am now) stand in the rain, looking at the headstone, reading the words numbly.
No one can see me. I'm an angel.
I tell myself, "It will be okay," over and over again.
It's useless.
It will never be okay.
The part that scares me the most isn't moving on, but becoming numb to all the things I once loved

I'm running, from what I do not know.
It's dark, and everything seems to jump out at me.
"Make it stop!" I scream as I jump awake.
You wake up and hold me gently,
rubbing my back, whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
I hold onto your shirt, clinging to the first real thing.
Your low rumble of a laugh wraps around me,
sealing me in its warmth, like a giant blanket.
You trace my jaw with your finger, lifting my head to look up.
"I will always be right here... I promise..." You say.
I bury myself in your chest as you turn out the lamp and hold me,
You hum some song that I don't remember as you hold me,
trying to get me to sleep.
"Tomorrow, it'll be okay, my love." you hum as my eyelids close

noun

The matter in which my mind is screaming for help, but no one comes

All i ask is to help me...

why wont you help me?

why?

The crowd screams,
the lights blare,
the guitar whines.

The drugs kick in,
the *** feels too good,
the music soaring.

the high crashes,
i burn,
but that's the life
of a rock star

She consumed everything in her path,
leaving nothing but charcoal in her wake.
Hey laugh was like lightning, quick yet beautiful.
Her touch was electric, She shocked any man she touched.
Her body was a wildfire, out of control.

I know... because she is me.

It's easier to hide...
It's easier to lay awake at night...
It's the thing that could **** me,
but i keep going cause it makes me high...
There once was a time
when a razor blade was my only friend...
there once was a time
where i would watch my blood,
afraid of nothing.... feeling nothing...


i was nothing


But then I met him.... and her.... and my brother....
They showed me that i don't need to slice into my own skin and watch my blood flow to be happy. They pressed my wounds, stopped the bleeding, stopped the tears, stopped the ugly thought, the bad things, before they consumed me again.

He kisses my scars.... saying that they where beautiful, like me...
She reminds me it's not the end of the world... because it isn't
my brother has my back, no matter what..... he kept me alive for years

i


am


not


alone


...

for had it not come,
i would never have found
my will to live.

Thank you for the voices,
for had they not spoken up,
i would never have found
my poems.

Thank you for the tears,
for had they not fallen,
i would not have looked up to see
the beautiful world before me.

Lastly, thank you for the scars,
for had i not made them,
i would not have the tattoos
for wars fought and won.

Thank you.... for it all.

The greatest war is not fought
on muddy, barren fields.
The greatest war is not fought
behind the meager drywall.
The greatest war is not won
with bloodshed of thousands.
The greatest war if fought
behind my forehead,
in my brain,
with bloodshed of a single person.

The darkness closes in.
You feel as if you will never win.
Your soul is lost
Somewhere in the frost
Of perpetual winter.

The horror creeps in,
the dread sinks in...
"You'll never be normal...."

The art starts taking form,
everything you where afraid of takes form,
the pain, the loneliness, the loss of who you where.

What once made people smile,
makes then cry over you.
"What happened to my daughter?"
"I miss her..."

You watch from above,
seeing all the pain you left behind.




"I wish I could take it all back..... I'm sorry......."