I thought I was fine.
I thought it would be easy to just shut out the feelings, turmoil, and anguish that one feels when we realize we are not as wanted as we believe we are--
Yes, I took my feelings too far.
But you have to understand that you are not at fault, never were, for the things that happened to me long before we knew we existed in the same space between life and death--
Sorry, I need to catch my breath.
And even when I thought I was okay with knowing you do not want me, I made the mistake of thinking the casual playfulness with which you lured me was just a little bit of fun--
Fun? **** it. Can't be done.
You're not responsible for the way the others used and abused me, treated me like a toy to turn on and off at their leisure; however, you don't know how closely you remind me of that pain--
Can I feel empty again?
You made me feel too comfortable with my own discomfort, and I was not ready--but it felt so good to think I was desired that I crossed the path divine--
You make me happy, but I'm not fine.