You learned to be a victim, at a very early age
Father beating mother and witnessing the rage

Crying mother in the night, her pleas that went unheard
Knowing that it wasn't right, your life you thought absurd

Mother learned from mother, then passed it down to you
There is no blame, there is no shame, for it's all you ever knew

Now the time has come my friend, to rise and fly above
You have a daughter of your own, the one you truly love

You say that you're a writer, you wield a mighty pen
I say to you, "then write your life," pay attention to the end

Write of new beginnings, your history be ******
Write of all your strength, and love, and feel your joy expand

So be the author of your life, your legacy control
Now break the cycle of abuse, dig deep within your soul

On stormy seas your daughter sails, seeking mother's light
So brilliant shine the life you pen, to guide her through the night

I broke up with you
Because I'm dishonest; a cough syrup symptom of walls I built so high.

I broke up with you
Because when I look at you I hate you; that glare of pain in your eye. The pain I've caused it hangs like smog over once beautiful hazel-greens.  

I broke up with you
Because you remind me of my parents' relationship... If you could even call it that. Doomed from the beginning, loomed and grinning over my sister and I.  

I broke up with you
Because I'm an *******.
Because I'm afraid.
Because I'm selfish.
Because I don't deserve love.

It's funny how it all pans out,
Life with it's ups and downs
Happiness can seem miles away
As smiles turn into frowns
  
It amazes me faced with strife
Whilst struggling not to drown,
How something so magical comes
Armed with a tainted crown
  
Yes, everyday is a blessing
A blessing on this earth,
We live it and we fight for it
We fight for all it's worth;
  
Worthiness is a point of view
Which carries its own curse,
Such curses just like old wives tales
Hold substance on this earth
  
So what is it that's driving us,
Guiding us on our way?
In the hope that we grow wiser
Wiser about our ways
  
Of seeing things, perceiving things
Taking things for granted
Not knowing just how good it seems
Until shelves look slanted
  
Lesson's learned every day my friends,
Every waking hour
What use are all these lessons if
Forgotten when turned sour?
  
'Happiness' the one common theme
We'd all like in our lives,
Happiness doesn't come for free
We pay a ghastly price
  
A price is paid, no choice given
As we live treasured lives...
Would we really know happiness
If hurt had not passed by?

  
  
© Karen L Hamilton, 2013

To have all you've known tumble down
You're sole existence starts to drown,
You're watching as you hold your breath
Count to ten and try to forget

Forget your worries and your woes,
Life's unpleasantries, all you know
You know nothing, not any more
You watch the slowly closing door

It's closing right before your eyes
You've lost the keys, there's no sunrise
Closing in, surrounded by dark
Darkness consumes your breaking heart

It beats one less than once before,
You hold it tight and hope for more
Pain you feel is out of this world
Hope that someone undoes the spell

The spiders web that's spun for you,
You're fighting, trying to get to
The place once loved, you thought you knew
Too scared to trust, too scared to move

You're slowly crawling through the dusk
In hope that soon you're good enough,
Enough to walk back to your home
To open arms - the ones once known



© Karen L Hamilton, 2013

There’s something that makes me spend
more and more time in my room.
It is a dark place,
the lights never get through the window,
there are monsters under the bed,
but they never sleep.

People are not allowed in my room
they can’t even knock at the door;
Some of them know it,
they just let me be alone.
—or maybe they just don’t care—
But sometimes new people arrive in my world,
they try to save me
so they just come in.
And that’s when I hurt them.
And then the monsters make me lock the door,
light a small candle
and read from the book where the pain
writes poems every day,
while they show me pictures of all the people I've hurt,
of everything I've destroyed.

And then my entire being starts screaming, mad at me,
until I shatter and pieces of me cover the floor.
After that comes the silence.


You don't know  how afraid I am
of silent, dark nights
how something just makes me go in there
every time I start feeling
love.

And I wish I could let people in
without hurting them.

But I can't.

So please, don't come in
don't even knock.
Don't try to save me.

There are monsters in my room
and I am the worst of them.

because when she was young,

people would ask her

"what superpower,

do you wish for?"

so without any hesitation

she replied "invisibility."

and then,

and then she grew up realising

it came true.

"What's wrong with you?"*

That **** question
Destroys me every
Time someone asks
For I have these words
Waltzing in my head
But they cant seem
To get the steps just right.
They keep tripping
Over twisted imagery
Crawling across
Wilted floor boards.
Splinters sewing
Themselves into
Anything they touch
Keeping every hope
Of an explanation
Tangled together
As nonsense.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

-ARI