The french Figured
Out a way to
Simplify the cooking
Experience

Sheer brilliance
I say, Sheer brilliance

But I wonder why the
Bologna doesn't Fry until the Bubble
Forms when my grandma used to cook it?

I want to take a walk in the wintertime
So my heart can identify its external condition

Staring at me
Cooking my food
In the shadows

Yeah you thought
I didn't see you
Creeping by
To see if I'm
Watching you watching me

Creepy

Death,  peace,  love
Freedom,  silence,  pain
Caring,  hope,  perspective

She loved
She lived

Hope dreams of another day
Another second mirrored
Etched into my heart

Making peace my Foundation
She taught me well
To sacrifice
Determination

Live,  love,  peace
Silence,  Foundation,  peace
Finding myself
Allowing her to live forever
In heart and spirit
We will meet again

That sultry buttery edge of iron skillet toasted Pumpernickel toast

Lavished over the tongue
No words to fully explain how buttery bread taste just like a type of meat you've never experienced

Hiding in the shadows of Destiny...you await me...you see you had me from the beginning because fate wrapped my heart around yours and it took traveling into the future to realize...you were my love unforeseen, unknown and ever present simultaneously..never knowing how love would seem...between you and I...Because you were the unknown factor...I never knew acceptance until i met you...knowing that love such as yours existed in distant place...hiding in the shadows of Destiny...locked behind the gates of my heart...stirring my in my soul...you move within me forever...cloaked within the shadows...hiding behind trees of wisdom...holding knowledge in the palm of her hands....she freed me...how could this be...this love, this passion, unseen yet felt and known...how is it that my heart leaps to the sound of your voice and my spirit breeds truth when you're near...catering to the stealth of my emotions...hiding in the shadows of Destiny...locked behind the gates of my heart...you exist within the safest place in my world...behind the gates...in a place where the pain of heartbreak shall never exist...where pressure is in the simplicity of a smile or a dance...the uncomplicated reciprocity of an unforeseen love...hiding behind the gates of my heart...skipping a beat in your presence...assured, reaffirmed, unadulterated, unforeseen, L-O-V-3.....

To face this day in the still of night
How brave am I to tears
And decades of time
Wrapped in memories

Memories and flashbacks
Childhood. . . Grandma
Spoiled
Peaceful, country meadows
Ponds
Spaghetti O's
Roast beef,  beans and cornbread
Homework
her third grade education
Finding me with n Strangers
When my mom decided to go on drug fending binges from city to city
The swingset I wanted
The mudpies she ate
The sacrifices she taught me of
The determination she instilled
The cold mornings she made fires
Warmth,  breakfast in bed
Kittens, clotheslines,  and the never ending biscuit bowl that I never understood how it remained full day after day.
The plaits I hated yet love now
The smell of her clothes
How she sashayed when she dressed up
Her anger
Sitting in the porch with our dog Spot
Princygal the cat
Late night peanut butter cookie baking
The sign in her wall that said
Life is one fool thing after another
Love is two fool things after each other
That I read over and over again until finally I understood.
Everything clean and cooked by noon

What happens tomorrow?

The most uncomfortable silence I've felt is the one I've recently experienced on my way to take my grandmother home who is much like my mother because she raised me when my mother wasn't around. 

The dead of air
The thickness of silence
Coated in negative possibilities
With her words echoing through the shock of my mind.
It is time to say goodbye...

As I gamble with the thought of responding and respecting my elders.

Not able to hold my tongue now because time is of the essence.  Its now or never or now or next lifetime.

As the emotions Weil before the surgeons crackling words of such paralytic news.  Words and emotions
forgiveness and peace

Nothing to explain what could and would be to come next.

As long as she knows she's loved
And I did everything I could to the point of exhaustion

The unmoved,  unloved,  yet never foresaken or so she says...

Grandmother,  Granny,  Grand ma ma

He lived within my normal
Without catechisms
One leg at a time
Pants and glory

He loved within my normal
Without judgment
A freedom to live
The freedom of happy

He lays within my Normal
With complete peace
a freedom to laugh
A kindness to smile

He loved my normal
And put me to sleep
He slept,  we sleep.
Then dreamt

My normalities became his freedom to be
His laughter Her Cadence
A rave of emotional dialect
Nothing to conquer
Nor ranks to achieve

He lived and loved within
Within my normal
Within the normalities.

[You] were written
Never ₩ could my feelings spawn, >>>mediocrity<<<
{You} were Written
With |time| and ■sincerity■
You were --> written
             With love♡
                        
                        and...    ­        
          
                                     ••••• hesitation☆

I could only find you to be provocative and Inspiring... But never mediocre.

Maybe this death marks the stake post
Of a past life...
Something that says act right
Or make them chain fight

The french Figured
Out a way to
Simplify the cooking
Experience

Sheer brilliance
I say, Sheer brilliance

But I wonder why the
Bologna doesn't Fry until the Bubble
Forms when my grandma used to cook it?

To know such things as the smell of beauty in the air... And the creativity a woman forges like her captive...Only to think that I could never walk away unless forced or asked. . .

Have you ever forced yourself cold as to protect oneself from harm.  The soft sharp edges. . .her nothingness and everything. . .

Only to think that I could never walk away from something with someone which honors worth... and caters love. . .yet, forced...as it burns.

Forever on the verge of revelation only to remain sealed. For the cost of self unflicted pain,  without mercy.   Yet grace lies upon her tongue like temptation.  Seducing my mind into moments of forever.

What  of this marriage
Promised Companion?

                   Trading of Friends
                   Lavished in Lovers

Hatred@Sharing ■Families&Responsibility;
       Differentiation shifts all dynamics

Waiting...
                    to
                 make.
                 sense
     《《《   of
                    it
                    all 》》》
All the While acknowledging
t
   h
       e
             ex-
                  -hilar
                              -ating­,
in.       cating
    toxi                   feel of Chaos and Love

{Love} and War
To struggle to get out of the straight jacket of your love...
Yet, it is your unconditional clause that makes me come back to perch on your familiar limbs...
Binding our vows
This living Freedom
This allowance
This You that We Are
THIS is what I Love ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I wondered if I told her that I loved her would it save her life today
Amidst the face of her depression...
Did you know,  I've thought about texting you every moment that passed
I wanted to make this word her breathe of life
I wanted her touch
I wanted to make this vessel a reason to love again
Leaving everything and nothing
Love is about losing
Fainting
Faith and being weary
Dying, Hurting, Starving
the filling and emptying of Body and spirit
Like liquid is to air
Longing and yearning
I remember what your eyes do
I hear the pain
And feel the pleasure in a, solitary glance
This frequent change of tide
Hosting beauty and misery....

wondered if I told her that I loved her would it save her life
Did you know,  I've thought about texting you every moment that passed
I wanted to make this word her breathe of life
I wanted her touch
I wanted to make this vessel a reason to love again
Leaving everything and nothing
Love is about losing
Fainting
Faith and being weary
Dying, Hurting, Starving
the filling and emptying of Body and spirit
Like liquid is to air
Longing and yearning
I remember what your eyes do
I hear the pain
And feel the pleasure in a, solitary glance
This frequent change of tide
Hosting beauty and misery....

Its such a shame to lose beauty to the lack of emotional intelligence

Especially when beauty comes with the responsibly to uphold

One that must be guarded and protected
And never misused

It's such a shame to not hold the confidence reflected in your smile nor can the fortitude of your conversation be rectified by the mere reflection of charm holding no true class

Depicting shattered shallow Armors of glass

Broken under the least bit of pressure

The things we do for the sake of love
Wielding love as a weapon
Something to fight for
Nothing to conquer
Everything to hold
somewhere to let go
Does it come back
What will be lost
In time for eternity
Forever Love

I wondered if I told her that I loved her would it save her life today
Amidst the face of her depression...
Did you know,  I've thought about texting you every moment that passed
I wanted to make this word her breathe of life
I wanted her touch
I wanted to make this vessel a reason to love again
Leaving everything and nothing
Love is about losing
Fainting
Faith and being weary
Dying, Hurting, Starving
the filling and emptying of Body and spirit
Like liquid is to air
Longing and yearning
I remember what your eyes do
I hear the pain
And feel the pleasure in a, solitary glance
This frequent change of tide
Hosting beauty and misery....

Making me edit my emotions
Cutting away pieces of how I captured
Our experience
To naught is sacred
Being
This nothingness
Taking its pure
And tainting this love for words
With your editorial hated

I wanted to taste Freedom
                                  
                                 When she came

Touch me with eyes
                    
                             Cress me with smile

I want to taste your spirit free

                                     Come with me

Their eyes glow...
              
               black with universe,

As the stars burn out.