The embers of a dying fire
can still hold warmth
can still provide light

a sign of health
a sign of wellness

the tide pools at the shoreline
provide life
provide food

a sign of health
a sign of wellness

the promise that the universe will raise you as her own,
is a promise to all those of past, present and future
the cycles of life and death will always be present
the changing of this promise will never be doubted,
but it will be taken advatage of, be appreciated and be used however we decide.

a sign of health
a sign of wellness
for all those of past, present and future

In some point of your life,
Which has been pain of your living.
It can be at any point of your life...

A sudden refresh of all yoursef,
Pops up as a regular coincidence.

Suddenly, all the weight of painful
Memories, thoughts, feelings are gone.
As well as potent satistafaction,
Becomes the field of your experience.

You feel like you are returned to
First home of humans, Garden of Eden.
Even you are looking to the
Boringly plains of detesting
White walls of your home
Or in the middle of the tedious lesson.

You feel like you are in the heaven.
Vast skies of azure,
Vast plains of shamrock.
Or the forest of complex Red pine...

Between the leaves a light ball shines.

It feels like a dream,
But concentration to atmosphere is
So high that it is
More factual than a dream.

Purple azure skies,
Candy red sun sets as a single god,
In rainbow of oranges and yellows.

Or you may be in the space,
Gazing thousands of
Little glittering color
In the vast darkness.

A nearby yellow star shines
As well as reveals thousands of
Spheres in vast colors,
Each of them an infinite heaven
With infinite liveliness.

Than you realize that all pain is gone.
You are refreshed, calm, in pleasure
In the highest forms.

Than you also realize that,
All of these is just a dream.
Imagined stuff being creation of you.

Even you attempt to leave
Beacuse of its fakeness,
You find the hardship in leaving.
Because it is the music
You are dying for hearing it.

Know that it doesn't come form
Your cushiony headphones.

Remember, that's the thing
You are striving for.
The complete well being of
All yourself, all your senses!

But the case is
We have big flows of energy
In our complex pathways of
Neural circuits and spiritual fields,
Avoiding the strenght of good
To hold us in good.

Because we laboured ourselves to
Live painful and weak lives
Just sake of survival.
So our brains are more able to
Suffer than satistfy,
More capable to experience and be
Bad rather than good.

What's avoiding this is the
Unconditional stabilization of
The experience of the good.

Owingly,
Even when the whole world is hellish;
You are the shine of the heaven,
Refreshing heights of elegance, content

Than you ask, how to do this.
I say; become that wholly,
Unconditionally,
Without any negative and bad.

If you still ask the same question,
Follow me! Just follow me!
Continuously, unconditionally!
This is all you need.

As the result, you will feel the
Depths of positive flow of love,
Heights of infinite continuous pleasure,
Taste of sweetest sweet without sweet.
In all of your life, unconditionally.
Even when everything is
Going painfully, badly, wrongly.

I call it the nectar!

I’m fine
is what you start to say
when you’re not, but
you’re sick of not
fine
And you
don’t want to be
             a
               downer
And you’re

sick

of having
to accept
advice
like
you just haven’t
thought
      to bother to try everything
yet.
       to
be
       fine.

And you’re sick

of explaining
every excruciating
detail
of your history
     and meds
     and procedures
     and life method

like you’re defending your
right
to make your own decisions

like you’re defending

that it’s not just

      ‘YOUR FAULT’

that you’re sick, it

    must be
       YOUR FAULT

Hey —

Have you tried:   ?

you must not have thought of that
yet.

I’m fine
  is because you need me to be
Because I am
       TOO SICK
ALL THE TIME

to deal with
     your hurt feelings

when you can’t

fix

me.

I’m fine <u>for you</u>

So I don’t hurt your feelings by
my feelings getting hurt when
I can’t just me honest that

   I.      AM.   NOT.   FINE.

without that being

        a crisis

for you.

Without you needing to come up
with a solution right then and
there to make me all better like

I don’t know how to
                                                                                         eat veggies
                                                                                               exercise
                                                                                [not **** myself]
                                                                                              try CBD
                                                                                             meditate
                                                                                 take time to cry
                                                                                                get rest
                                                                                  drink more tea
                                                                                [not **** myself]
                                                                                                 stretch
                                                                                 --hey, have you
                                                                                         tried CBD?
                                                                                it works for me.

And I –
    don’t want to be rude.
And I –
    hey, I’m here for
            you

So instead of being who I am
and owning my try, but

getting snippy when you’ve
beat me with your
good intentions
    and then
feeling guilty and attacked
and needing to take MORE time
to cry –
            I –
                      I’m fine.

Dear Death,
I have nothing left
No more room on these arms
No more room for these scars

Nothing but a empty shell
Happiness left as tears fell
What is left for you to take?
How many more years must I wait?

The light shines bright in my face
Not ready to imbrace
The love she radiates
Lifting off the shoulder weights

Why did you set her apart in my eyes?
To give me hope then turn it into lies?
She said she loves me for being me
But does she truly know me

The wars in my head
The countless of times I wanted to be dead
She can never know what she truly saved me from
I love her even if i dont know where she came from

3 years now I count her as a blessing
I dont feel the need to be depressing
My arms are free of scars
And happiness runs through me like shooting stars

For people who suffer
Surround yourself with love its so much tougher
Be who you want to be
What you want to strive to be

I live after all I've been through
And you can to
But the first step comes from you
And only you

I’ll be here with my arms stretched wide

Ready to catch a break

Instead of all these curveballs

That keep hitting me in the face

I don’t even like baseball

⚾️

I hope you are fine,
To know you’re doing well
It distracts of all my constant hell
I won’t get far, but to know you’re okay
It helps me to forget the end’s near for my day

I hear voices in my head
I hear them sound like dead
people on Any Given Sunday
an ungracious abundance
of other peoples’ voices

I hear them most
when other people speak
loudness leaks from moving lips
to say words that make no sense
that say something else
the Politics of Experience
unfold me like some geometric inkblot

I see Batman
I see Batman
I see BATMAN

Did you hear that?

It sounded like Batman
like a Batarang
catching some villainous cape
like a car door closing
on a Great Escape

it sounded like
                     two people
competing for head space
the one being said
the one being meant
the silence in between them
speaks volumes to itself
No, please say that again
in a sonorous tone
it snores my inner demon
to groan behind an asinine
slumbering inside each line
wound with reservations grinding
our hero chopped off from loose lips
to fit in the caustic grimoire of actual fact

I am the Bat
I am the Bat
I am the Bat

I hear voices in my head
that sound like conversations
an unwilling participant am I
by virtue of presence, my
lips unlocked never seem
                       to speak enough
though lips move more gratefully
than these feet that just want to leave
this place, to never talk again
sit behind a screen
be pixelated, a thinly
gleaming monitor
of the fun facts lacking
in a lark-full repartee
I check up on myself
look up the words that I doubt
check my bruises
from roundhouse kicks
split lips bloodied with small talk
sweet silence is
to stay home and smoke

I should stop talking

Did you hear that?

and when they play like they don’t know
don’t let them go
make them stay
to tell us what
they meant to say
#againandagain
#againandagain

I hear voices

Did you say something?