No, I've never felt
Such calm and such peace,
As when I have walked
These crowded streets.

With nods and smiles,
They call out to me,
To offer me greetings,
Or something to eat,

"Do you need a smoke, sir? "
"Hey,  I've got some ****, "
"It's always good to see you
Here,  Mr. C."

I just smile and I nod,
And say nothing at all,
I just give them a wave,
And remind them to call.

The dealers,  the junkies,
The sets and police,
They all know my name,
On the cracked Houston streets.

I know it's respect that
They're showing to me,
For all that I've done as
Who I used to be.

The scars on my knuckles
Still have yet to fade,
I carry my violence
And two deadly blades.

And those who once knew me,
As I was before,
They bow and they nod,
And they offer me more.

TRIGGER WARNING- ABUSE

cold, colder yet colder.
i watch as his eyes fill with rage.
from being a strong shoulder
to cry on, to being impossible to engage.

as red as blood can be,
as blue as bruises can get.
i pray and hope no one sees,
or again i'll face another threat.

if love were enough,
scars and bruises i'd ignore.
but reality is just that tough,
one day i might just turn to gore.

Open those cracked lips
And let out croaks and painful yelps

Drag that bruised and bloodied hand
Against the stained floorboards

Flinch into the boot in the ribs
And let those purple tears swell

Give a broken smile
As you speak misery to me

A dance of pull and push back
A fist encircling a heart
Clutching, Squeezing
Power on one side
Pleading on the other
Out of control
My stomach feels sick
My mind blank
Grasping toward where you were
Spirling into past comforts
Delusional daydreams
Days become memories as they happen
Irrefutable anger
Violence on the body
A mind of blame and contortion
You lay out boxes I can’t fit into
Telling me to get in
I can’t breathe, but you tell me to melt like water and flow.
All I ever wanted was some pull from you
Acceptance and patience of my becoming
But all you know how to do is push back.

You fell under his embrace
a long time ago,
trusted his words
and his fake love.

Shouts came,
hits,
never ending fear
impossible to deal with.

Bruised face,
broken soul.
You should know it's time
to let him go.
'Cause although you wished so,
that isn't love.

when violence will stop?
when will wake up this world? when evil will be gone?
when will we take masks off? when will we learn tell true?

Crazy thing is
Sometimes I really like the rain
The pitter patter of the water
on the glass window pane
Creates the drumming of memories
Of the time of the past
When laughter danced through
This barren household.
What memories we shared
Until that one time
Where you struck me
And both our worlds ended
I couldn't take it
I couldn't take it any more.
All the abuse
All the emotional pain
All the tears
It needed to end.
So it did
And now there is just
Rain

He left
A mark the color of red wine
Zinfandel
Placed high on cheek bone
Directly under her left eye
Such tears only bruising
It further

I didn't mean to
He simply stated

She left
A note the color of resentment
Charcoal
Placed atop bedroom dresser
Directly over her exiled contents
Such emptiness only reinforcing
It further

Once was more than enough
She simply stated

Give me pain and do me *****
I want to die before I'm thirty
I like it rough, don't pull your punches
I look my best when I've been gutted
Drown me in the river I made crying
I want to look pretty while I'm dying