i used to be so in love,
a feeling blessed upon me from above.
and the girl i loved,
made my heart jump.
and in such an amazing way,
whenever i thought about her my sordid thoughts would melt away.

and somewhere along the years; she twisted and changed,
she wasn't the same person; in only a matter of days.
as if the innocence and eloquence of her person had died,
but i fell to my knees whenever i reciprocated eyes.

the girl i knew died a long time ago,
i can't even recall her eye colour; blue, green, hazel? i don't know.
the girl i knew fizzled away,
her heart grew cold, and the love got frayed.
and maybe i shouldn't of saved her,
it would of saved me a lot of ink and paper.

because the girl i loved died a long time before i,
the girl i loved died,
the girl i love died.

A wretched boy slumped through the winter snow,
Ashes scattered; the remains of whom he'd once known.
He clambered, shook, screamed and fell down,
And his knees pummelled into the cold winters ground.

He began to decline into the pebbles, snow, and dirt,
As the blood seeped through his paisley shirt.
Each breath became more withered and cold,
He grew beastly with fear of not growing old.

Just as the soul started it's ascent into the clouds,
He caught the shadow of an ashen haired shroud.
His soul was saved, captured, and regained,
But once a boys soul starts to leave; it never fits the same again.

She wakes up everyday,
To her the sky is always lined in grey.
She breaks down in a pit,
And her mind is so corrupt and split.

She covets for answers to what she desires,
As she gaits on a tightrope wire.
Barbed wire knots around her heart,
It constricts with every decision her mind can't bare to start.

She can't bare to think,
With everything that piles up; her soul starts to shrink.
The parables that play out so well in books,
Doesn't seem feasible on Hades sordid hook.

With all good stories luck starts to change,
Even those in the darkest of abyss.
Though some skies are dark and grey,
Each new day brings a new day.

Tomorrow she might wake up and the sky may be clear,
And facing obsidian decisions won't be riddled with fear.
Then small happiness will reignite her soul,
And so a peaceful mind won't seem such an impossible goal.

There once was a boy,
Lonely and stripped of all joy.
He burnt his skin,
As his soul withered within.

As the days passed,
He coveted for the days that'd be his last.
And all his acquaintances shrugged,
But it was his grave they dug.

All those nights alone in a room,
On parchment pieces he sculpted his doom.
And with prowess he slipped into the unknown,
Into the hell where youth and laughter go.

I reminisce on those last few months a lot,
And I wallow in things but this I really overthought.
I just want to say I'm sorry it took me so long to visit,
And I wish I saw you eat that meal; I can't believe I missed it.

I know you'd of hated this pity I stew in,
But you meant so much it hurts within.
My eyes get heavy when I look at your picture,
There's so many things I'd wish I'd let you lecture.

If there's one last thing I would say,
It's that I hope you're safe and heaven is okay.
That I pray you're smiling and are proud every second,
And everyday is one day closer to being with you,
In heaven.

Hot breath warms her face
As it settles in thick blankets
Making it harder and harder to breathe.

The rest of her body feels chilly
As a fan circulates cold air around her,
But her face only grows warmer.

As she tells herself all the things she doesn't want to hear,
Yet would feel incomplete without,
The heat only begins to rise,
Swelling from her eyes,
Like thick globs of lava,
Crashing into the tightly held blankets.

She opens her mouth,
To tell herself to stop,
That she has no reason to be this upset,
That shes embarrassing herself,

But her throat fills with hot air,
And she lets out nothing,
Only sobs,
And hopes that tomorrow is a better day.

i find myself crying on the floor,
with not a soul by my side.
i've a habit of staying in doors,
i dont believe in love anymore.

i dig my nails deep into my skin,
to try find veritable love within.
to my chagrin its just senseless gore,
i dont believe in love anymore.

when i fall theres no-one there by side,
no-one there to tell me things will be fine.
so ill stay inside;
ill lose my mind;
ill lay on the floor and ill cry every night.

ill say once more;
heartbroken on the floor;
that i just dont believe in love anymore.

I can only picture dying,
I've exhausted my own mind.
It's not for lack of trying,
To extinguish these thoughts of mine.

All things I see are blue,
But I love the blue Winter air.
I'm scared of heights; that's true,
But I walk on a tightrope without a care.

I'm toying with a sordid thought,
Just to see if madness is that bad but it's not.
Insanity and madness is all that I've got,
I've tried and I have tried but it just won't stop.

This may be the last you read from me,
I just can't keep up the lie.
This may be the last I write to you,
But when it's time, paint the flowers blue.

I thought I was finally over it.
I thought I’d gotten past this.
But then this has to go and happen.
This has to bring it all back.
I finally thought this had died down.
But i’m the only one that can’t get past it.
I don’t know why.
It’s haunting me.
I’m scared it will haunt me forever.