We love the waters
But we were always afraid of diving in

We were scared of
How the water could be so shallow we could get hurt.
When we dive in and our heads
Or hands or knees would bump
Into the cold earth that holds that which we adore
or the concrete that contains the water we thought was endless.

We were scared of
How the water could be so deep we could drown
When we know how to swim
But forgot everytime to hold our heads up high
Breathe and relax
Because these waters are not trying to suffocate us
Nor drown us
But our thoughts have already assumed the worst of these waters.

But when I asked you
(...)

i torment myself for my inability to love,
my inability to sense the light after the storm.
i spend my days wondering when,
when will i give myself to another
when will the world be ready?

Sometimes I catch myself feeling--
something strangely indescribable
It's like--no matter the words I use to describe it,
they will never be enough--
to express it to its fullest extent

It's better to just let your body move together with--
the shallow currents of your overflowing emotions

It's better to just let your mind wander--
forever lost in the hollowed echoes of the catacombs

It's better to let your hands be guided--
by the puppet strings visible to only you

But if you keep yourself chained--
all you ever will be is a doll left unnamed

Sometimes I catch myself wondering why--
I seem to hurt myself with--
expectations I will never be able to meet
It hurts, but I just can't stop--
So I keep wondering--
                     Why?
                       Just why?