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Jay Feb 26
I've seen the pattern. It's almost always like this.
Either they're too scared to go out with me
Or they are too intimidated and ends up
Not being able to express their feelings towards me.

I've seen the pattern. I've seen this more than once before.
I become wary of whoever's trying to get close to me
And when I decide to open up, I end up falling hard
Falling so deep, I become unaware of how he's actually afraid.
Another unfinished poem. It's difficult to put into words thoughts that one's self can't even comprehend.
Jay Feb 26
I'd like to write about this good news,
This good news that arrived unexpectedly.
It wanted me to embrace it fully however weird and awkward it was.
It wanted to stay and be with me even if it was unconventional.

But the good news is not for me.
For the good news was young and was not ready for the real world.
I can't seem to wrap my head on the idea of having you. You who seem like a bad a idea but makes me feel so good everytime.
Jay Nov 2018
Fly
When people wanted to fly and envied the birds, they didn't grow wings.

Instead, they changed their point of view and built planes.

So now I've decided.

I won't change who I am, but I will change how I do things.
I'm still unsure of this poem. A lot of thoughts came to me as I flew across the country to take a big leap in my career. This is the closest to how I felt as I was  inside that piece of metal surrounded by floating dews of water.
Jay Sep 2018
We love the waters
But we were always afraid of diving in

We were scared of
How the water could be so shallow we could get hurt.
When we dive in and our heads
Or hands or knees would bump
Into the cold earth that holds that which we adore
or the concrete that contains the water we thought was endless.

We were scared of
How the water could be so deep we could drown
When we know how to swim
But forgot everytime to hold our heads up high
Breathe and relax
Because these waters are not trying to suffocate us
Nor drown us
But our thoughts have already assumed the worst of these waters.

But when I asked you
(...)
Jay Apr 2018
Bec every time someone's selfie is in my feed
And I see how beautiful his/her smile is
I find myself trying to mimic that radiant smile
And wonder every single time
How come I couldn't do so anymore.
Jay Apr 2017
Love was not shaped like a heart but a question mark
Too many wonders, Too many questions
I knew love was open-minded, love was optimistic
I knew love inside and out
But love remained a question mark, unsure of the love, love found with me.

Love changed
Love silently became an exclamation point
Love had clouded thoughts, twisted feelings
Love felt happiness, sadness, madness
But beneath all of those, love gave out silent cries - I have never heard.

Love, then again, changed
Love took on a shape of a comma
Love became afraid of ending the sentence, ending us
Love made us complex, made us complicated
Love had a lot of pauses in between the non-stop wishing and non-stop desires
Love hated itself

Love wanted to change
And he did
Love finally became a period
Because commas were suffocating and periods end suffocation
But love, love did not just end the sentence, nor the paragraph, nor the story
Love ended us

But here I am, standing in front of Love again
Staring at the Love who's oh so different again
Love was not just one dot but three
Love became an ellipsis
Love wished for more of our story
Love hopes to continue us
Love started wondering about the possibility of having us again
Love wanted us again
Love is slowly turning back into a question mark again.
A school requirement that brings satisfaction only to me who wants to have a good grade in her philosophy class.

— The End —