I seemed to be on a good curve toward healing
Everything was falling into place
Then a wave came
and washed it all away
It’s what the doctors call
ICD F33

I was crying in your arms
Then I lifted my head and looked at you
You blinked at me, not knowing what to do
And right then I knew
The journey to finding myself
would be mine
alone

I hate you
Don’t be alarmed
They’re strong words
But what I feel inside me
is unbearable
The truth is, I’m afraid
Afraid to say goodbye
and end up in the arms of another
who might hurt me
Not you—you’re good
But still
you’re hurting me
My heart races
because it knows what it wants
Freedom
Yet I keep it
caged

One day I went to a very rich man’s house for dinner
He told me:
“You write cheap poetry”
I replied:
“Yes—because if it were expensive,
even your heart couldn’t afford it”

I am the Samaritan woman
I understand her completely now
Every day I went to the well to draw water
But I never truly drank
Drank to quench the soul
I found my Christ—stunned
Dehydrated
Needy
It’s too much, I can’t contain the emotion
I want
more
more
more
more
and never stop…

I want to do other things
the chores call me
but each time it’s harder
poetry has tangled me in such a way that
ah…
I just want to keep drinking from it
forever

I thought only in prose
I could be whoever I wanted to be
How mistaken I was—here too!
I can be a thousand and one things
And you? Can you be who you are without art?
I doubt it
But if you show up before me painted in gold
I’ll believe
Yes, I’ll believe
The world is mad

Wholeness
That must be the word
If it’s not, that’s fine
I couldn’t care less
I know what I feel, and I can’t deny it
My verses are not for you
They’re for me
Period.
If you understand, congratulations
If not, I’m sorry
Go find a book—one with over a thousand words
Even better if it’s self-help
I need only a few words to say what I want
My therapy is in the verses
I owe nothing to anyone
Liberating
That could be the word too
Doesn’t matter to me
I simply cross my legs in the hammock
and spot a new world of possibilities
waiting for me