They come to me,
They come to me

When they speak
I listen

I can't breathe
Am I living?

They're all my eyes would see
When they come to me

I hate the voices that speak to me.
They are nothing but liars.
******,liars.
When I was young, I believed them.
They convinced me that I was an angel from heaven.
They ruined my early childhood.
And persons close to me (that are real) are ruining my teenage years. The earthly ones.

They come to me speaking things preposterous,
No wonder when they're around,
I get real anxious
Getting jittery, hormone levels rising
Wish there was real hope on the horizon

Am I crazy or purely insane
For those like me I can feel your pain

Not till I got wiser, I realized that I should be careful

Dear diary, is it in my genes to have schizophrenia,
Stabbing pains and paralytic dreams

I always hear things
But ignore them when I'm busy
So when I'm bored that is when they come to me

I like my father.
The earthly one.
I miss when he could see.
So many times we would have fun together.
But that was another day.
A day of the before.
Looking back won't change anything.
I don't even know why it is done.

Can't comprehend my inability,
To understand is something wrong with me?
I don't get man, not humanity.
Is that because they come to me?

They come to me in pursuit of my mind
Wish someone fully human was on my side
No wonder I tried to commit suicide
But I miserably failed many times

Why can't I die?!?
I know I have a purpose, but does that mean that I an not allowed to die.
Just because I won't die, I can consume anything and everything without getting sick, so far (does my malfunctioning mind blind me?).
Even bleach!
My body has immunized to them all.
That will just make me live longer.
Is life a never-ending torture?

My torture Is real despite what they say
The pain is real just walk with me for a day.
This torture is mine it won't go away
I can't forget it and just walk away.
Despite my plea it is still here
It is this torture that I fear

I'll give you a nightmare so raw and true
For all the stress you put me through

Drag your body to the ground
Stab you once, don't make a sound

As your blood starts to pool
And your breath begins to cool

I'll cut your neck from side to side
Sink my fingers in as the skin divides

Grasp your ****** flesh with my fingertips
Pull down hard, watch your skin rip

The slower I pull the harder I play
As your lifeless face starts to grey
And your worthless life fades away

Slicing along your ***** bone
Is the most satisfying feeling I've ever known

I hold above me my treasured prize
My gleeful face I can't disguise

From your skin I'll fashion a light
It'll shine and make my darkness bright
Forever mine, always in my sight.

Come to me my little fiend
Come dine with me
On the blood of the weak and thine enemy

Demon of flesh and darkness of old
Take him down before you in his arms he enfolds

Slashing at flesh, cackles of glee
The demon strikes at your miserable plea

He says don't struggle now, your souls bound to me
Nails of searing heat tear at your flesh
As your agony and his delight, like light and dark firmly mesh

He is yours and now you are his
He licks his lips and sighs out a hiss
Take me as i am, your darkness of retribution
Enemies downfall and your weakness persecution.

Drag me under and hold me down
The more i choke the faster i drown

Take my horror and wield the knife
You pierced my skin will you take my life

I grit my teeth when the blade sinks in
Moaning in pleasure with this painful sin

I crave my torture to keep me sane
Begging you to do it over and over again

The cutting, the pain, i feel so alive
In this nightmare is where my sense thrive

My nerves on fire as blood fills my mouth
I laugh in glee as the blade slides out

Now you know my secret...
What i dream about.

Reviles gnaw on her somber thoughts
as she hangs between beige curtains
tightly thick around her neck
absorbing lachrymal crystals under her eyes
Her many faces retreat—implode under
pressure—like glass borne on a cliff
As for her, herself, come forth many
holding stones—boulders to her—
ready to strike this candle;
intimidated by fire, she melts
And as the flames are roused
watch her re-harden: an exquisite tragedy

I deserve all this pain and torment
Cut my writs and numb my heart
Use the blood to create your art

Cast the stones
Break my bones

Let me choke on my blood
Agonising but deserving death
Loosing each and every breath

Hold a gun to my heart and pull the trigger
Let the bullet flow through me like fish through water
Let this be my ultimate slaughter

Round my neck with a noose
Tighten it and make sure it is not loose

Tie an anchor to my feet and throw me in the ocean
Let my scream not be heard
And my vision be blurred

Lay me on the road and run me over
Let the tyres crush each and every bone
Let my existance become unknown

Throw me into the fiery pits of hell
Let my flesh burn to ash
Then throw the remains in the trash

Throw me out of a plane
And let my life flash before my eyes
Let me remember all the lies
Let me remember all the forgotten cries
Let me remember all the false allies
And as I look at my final sunrise

Let me say...

I deserve it.

-T