#torment poems on Hello Poetry

Breon Jul 2019

The summer sun's an auger drilling deep
To sap my will and hasten my decline,
And by the time night falls, I'll pray for sleep.
From when its faintest rays begin to creep
Beyond the long horizon's boundary line,
The summer sun's an auger, drilling deep.
When morning comes, I'll buy my living steep,
But living wilts me 'till I can recline
And by the time night falls, I'll pray for sleep
As if I died, as if I'd get to keep
The scrapings that I'd earned, as if they're mine.
The summer sun's an auger, drilling deep.
Each moment sowing seeds I'll never reap
Comes twisting down around my brain and spine -
And by the time night falls, I'll pray for sleep.
All wisdom, wits, and words ring hollow, cheap,
Some wilted offerings at a broken shrine.
The summer sun's an auger, drilling deep,
And by the time night falls, I'll pray for sleep.

#villanelle #summer #fatigue #torment #toil

Carl Halling Jul 2019

Oh! With What Unspeakable Anguish

Oh! With what unspeakable anguish
Do I regret the vocation
I came so close
And so oft to having
The sweet acclamation
That might have been mine.

Had I tried and failed,
That would scarcely concern me,
Yet, I squandered my resources
Time and time again,
And failed so unnecessarily,
That is what so torments me.

I only wish I could contemplate
More than a mere handful
Of past achievements with pride
And satisfaction,
But even this paltry compensation,
Remains stubbornly beyond me.

Oh! With what unspeakable anguish
Do I regret the vocation
I came so close
And so oft to having
The sweet acclamation
That might have been mine.

'Oh! With What Unspeakable Anguish' almost certainly dates from late May 2019, when it was conceived in a state of genuine anguish (as clearly evidenced by the piece’s title), related to my past; although this has since faded, so that I don’t feel it so intensely at the time of writing, viz., a little under two months after it assumed its final shape on the 16th.

#anguish #vocation #acclamation #torment #achievements

Eloisa Jun 2019

I’ve Forgiven the Devil

My stronger warrior soul is confused and lost
Longing to be free from the visit of unpleasant thoughts
For five years, I was a wanderer between the glorious light and the evil of darkness
Which seldom renders me adrift but often empty and frightened
I would only try to dismiss the spell, the fight
Then battle to find my soul and to restore my heart
At length, amidst these giant storms and misery
Never would my tongue reveal my real unutterable agony
But the memories of the past became too haunting, more violent
And now I’m at the edge of the dark and eternal uncertainty
For sometime, I continued to believe that the nightmare was gone
That my visions were blessed with joy, and my dreams were untroubled
Suddenly, I awoke with the same frightful dream as before
The devil visited me again in my hours of sleep
Where did he get his powers and permission to torture me?
I contemplated one more time and realized
I understood why I dread my dreary destiny
I have not completely forgiven the devil for what he has done to me
So now to release myself from the chain of pain
and suffering
I’m breaking free from the sweet revenge I daily seek
As I command my wings to flee from hell and whisper my forgiveness
I heard a hymn from my guardian angel’s melodic voice
A wonderful prayer for my deliverance

#devil #torture #selfdisdain #forgiveness #torment #agony #deliverance

Kenji King May 2019

Darkness

Hello darkness, my old friend.
It's been a while.
Can you feel the tension, the pain.
The blood has started pouring again.
The blade hit my thigh and drip, did the drops go.
The depression came back, harder than it did before.
Sudden, like an electric shock.
Sitting all alone in the darkness.
My body feels numbs, but my wounds hurt, but not as much as the pain inside.
Feelings of intensity, emotion of density.
Fragile and lost.
Soulless and incomplete in these dark stages I encounter.
Drag me along to the pits of the underground, where I belong.
Burn me alive whilst I ache in torment and misery.
Banish me, whilst the claws rip me apart, inch by inch.
I am exposed, while hiding my feelings is something I'm used to.
But, you opened me, and there's no sewing me back together.

My depression lingers, as it started again, 10X harder.

#depression #pain #torment #linger #emotion #intense

Andres Mar 2019

undress

my head could last for days
my head could think up a hole
It would take me a minute to try to distinguish a cold shoulder from cold
or maybe I’m something nice looking to ****
With men, that just be my luck,
Never know if it’s something to fear or if it’s truly something to trust,
but baby, you should stay, my head told me you wanted to go
I can’t take another heart break, so my heart, let’s just take it slow
Do you mind just actually leaving,
It would hurt less without an explanation
I’ve never felt worthy of one longer than a couple words,
Lonely and broken in the heated train station
my feelings and ego go away as soon as i look at your eyes
But come right back up on late night train rides
I wanna text you, but you’ll probably be suffocated
don’t expect gifts on my birthday unless it’s belated
momma reminds me to not settle for less than I’m worth
but momma don’t know that for love I’m a serf, for love, I’ll rebirth
But no worries, the couch is super comfy tonight
Your quickest replies are the ones that say goodbye, or so it seems,
My head is spinning like carousels after hours and behind the scenes
Shoot my heart like you on a dolly, got every angle
Hold my hand like you know who i am, baby, what can you handle?
I’m a mess inside and when I’m without you it spews
So doctors resort to telling me
“Honey, go sit in the pews”
But prayer to god, pray to allah and mami, nada me sirve
Y mami, con este dolor, amor nunca me hace libre
So anxious, and nervous, with no repercussions
So baby hit hard, slept w several concussions
Not the ones you think you got
But the ones that hit you in parking lots
You thought he would love you, but you can’t be loved
You thought it was his treat, end nights in Hyatt’s
Rent out a Beamer, **** it, a fiat
And baby you got me
Baby you got me

I wish i could see you and look in your eyes
I’ll sing some long and distracting lullabies
Don’t focus on the man you never signed up for, hes been through it all
You really wanna find a place with some privacy when weather gets cold in the fall?
his sisters running his life
And his parents not fit for the world
and if these planets don’t stop ******* moving, i swear I’m just gonna hurl
My body is broken in all the right places
if i don’t leave, he’s smashing all the glass vases
I should relax, pay attention to what makes sense
I’m over here in round two with my brain, playing chess
If you have hidden motives, would you promise to reveal?
If i had all these scars, would you help me to heal?
I have important questions to the subjects that matter
if something doesn’t go my way, it’s mind over the latter
My feelings are unattached, it’s my brain getting it twisted
So i think I’ll just go home and get myself lifted
blowing through cartridges like my gameboys too brolic
Can’t go a day without it, like a ****** alcoholic
I like you a lot, but my feelings won’t grow
I stress you a lot, but only on the low
I **** with you heavy, but my body’s too light
we could share stories in a dark room restricted of sight
Maybe you could feel what i feel and see what i see
I learn thrown in the deep end, but forget all out in sea

i added some Spanish in there.
I’m trying to be vulnerable with you. Spanish is my family’s language, and it’s my family. To speak to and about you in Spanish is to do it fearlessly. Challenge your language.
I learned that as opposed to living a life that is full of prediction and control, you could live a more fulfilling life of vulnerability. Risk your emotions, be the first one to take that step. Life rewards those with growth.

#love #confusion #torment #vulnerability #control #and #predict #poem #anxiety #nervousness

Nadine Mar 2019

My mental torment

When I was small, carefree and young
I would laugh, giggle and have so much fun
Who would of known or ever could see
What I would go through what I would be

The roads I would travel the things I'd go through
I had love and friendship that never seemed true
Break ups and make ups, good times and bad
I lived through the fights and the memories I had

I believed in that prince on a white shinny horse
Will he still come and sweep me up of course
I'm still so young and many years are ahead
But at times I feel alone and in side so dead

I have worries and dreads and flights of fears
Its my demons and emotions that I mostly fear
The nights bring no comfort the day no peace
I wish this battle I face would just ceace

I can't explain and I don't know why
Sometimes I break and all I want is to die
I try to reach out and speak from my heart
But then the pain and emotions restart

You'll never know or understand if you tried
The mental agony and pain that inside I hide
Now I'll be fine and all seems so well
Then in an instant I pull into my shell

I know you worry I know you wonder
How can you calm my raging thunder
You cant help me you can't heal me
Cause I cant explain, I so wish to be free

It comes from within and it blows in an instant
Then from the world I keep my distance
It's emotions and worries and panic attracts
When you think it is over it's suddenly back

Where do I turn to where can I run
I wish to be happy carefree and fun
It raises in an instant and stays for so long
Then there goes my quietness like distant song

People try help and give there advise
They tell me to stand up, they tell me to raise
They say I'm stronger than what I believe
I must try harder and to advise give heed

I have tried this and that so many times
But it doesn't help cause it's more than my mind
Its deep in my soul my gut and my heart
If only I could figure out from where is all starts

How to control it so that it won't last
Maybe it's hidden deep in my past
I've dug and I've dug and pondered on things
All that it does is another one brings

It doesn't help me when you stare at me
You think I don't know but I always see
The whispers and giggles and ugly remarks
Don't be back stabbing take of your masks

It's a constant battle to keep it together
I'm even effected by the change of weather
But I keep on going and pray to keep standing
And always on my two feet to be landing

So next time you see me distressed and ranting
Tears in my eyes and heavily panting
Try to be loving, understanding and gentle
It hurts me more when you are judgement

I know that you battle at times understand me
Do you stay away or reach out and hold me
I wish I could change and be more stable
Believe me I would of if only I was able

#torment #anxiety #emotions #turmoil #growing #up #head #scared