Her timid, inexperienced hands
Young, unsure and insecure
Didn't understand
The power in her touch soothed his soul.
She had no idea she was the chosen one

As an evolved woman in her 40s
She now understands that
Her hands felt like heaters when they touched his soul.
Penetrating his skin
Skin smooth like silk
Passion hot like fire

The majestic curve of her hips
The fullness of her *******
The softness of her lips
Had a hypnotic effect
Shaking this very powerful man
To his very core.
To see your soul's mirror reflection
In another being
Was completely unnerving
The vicious battle of wills and ego
That later ensued
Was simply a defense mechanism
For the both of them

This level of intimacy
Felt like a personal invasion
What felt like an attempt
Of mind and body control
Or strategic manipulation
Was truly the essence
Of old familiar souls
Reconnecting with each other

This unbridled passion
Was electrifying
Every nerve was a live wire
Intensity so strong it was alarming
******* full body electrocutions
Powerfully addictive
Never underestimate the significance
Of the soul tie
For as ancient energies exchange
Souls intertwine

This is an unbreakable bond
Stronger than betrayal, conflict or estrangement
Its unforgettable

Holding this queen to your chest
Without uttering a single word
She was "home"
Only the two of you
share this special space
With the ability to speak to
each others thoughts
And feel the others' soul cries
You are deeply connected
You are not alone

So in the next lifetime
Be brave enough
To trust each other.
Respect this bond as something far more than simple lust
May we seize the opportunity
And learn, build and grow together

May next journey not be so lonely
Marred with confusion, insecurities
Ego and self doubt
May we find comfort
In our shared heartache
Of the loss of our earthly mothers
We will forever be connected spiritually
Throughout the passage of time
And the rest of eternity

Until we meet again.

© 2017

We said I love you so many times
that I thought leaving and
forgetting wasn't an option
for us.

It took longer to separate ourselves because
every time I wanted to untie my heart from yours,
you held on.
And every time you were ready to loosen the knot,
I came back around...

We did this for a while.

You see, soul ties aren't two heart strings in a loop knot
You can't pull away and it'll. just. come undone.

We had to fuss. We had to cry. We had to go through what we went through to finally
Untie ourselves
from each other.

The way we deal with death is funny.
The child expected to cry,
must stay strong for his peers.
The adults have the luxury of tears.

So why the difference in action?
When the cause stays the same?
The adult may have lost a member of kin.
The child, however, is broken within.

Everything must end.
The way we cope with life as kids.
Replaced to see it like adults.
The loss of a friend, sister or mother.
The death of a father or a brother.

Everyone has a mechanism to cope.
Giving them time and space to heal.
You have your religion and empty prayers.
I have my broken universe and empty stares.

-Tash

There has always been my family...

And My Family.

Day 1

I was born.
This girl was born to her parents not knowing anything. Living her life through school and music with her sisters and little brother, this is her life.
This is her family.
This is my family.

9th Grade

I meet a girl, and she is the definition of deafening headphone music and larger than life punk rock music. These types of instantaneous connections are too strong to ignore.
I knew right away, we would be friends.
She introduces me to her friends and I find myself in a group hug of my new friends, people who decided to accept me.
This is her family.
This is my family.

10th Grade

The same girl is my closest friend. But I am not her closest friend. I feel her pull away to be somebody else, and that is okay. I will often run to her crying and sad and she will do her best to pick me up. And she does.
The friend group we have is more like home than the house I sleep in. I forget about my parents and find comfort in the arms of my friends.
I feel conflicted about which family means more to me.
I tell her, "I know blood is thicker than water."
She tells me, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

...I have never heard that before.

Is this her way of saying that we are more family than anything?
Maybe we are.
Or maybe we were.

We walk together knowing that we are never giving up on each other.
This is her family.
This is my family.

11th Grade

I meet another girl. A friend of a friend. Jealousy builds. Attention is a fight nobody wants to lose, I have become the 3rd party nobody asked for.
Families are supposed to fight. But now my family is not one that will fight for our happiness back.

But I want to.

I always have.

But I cannot fix this because I am not the only person involved.
Why are we fighting?!

Day X

I wish I could take back my mistakes.
One friend describes her life connected to 4 people... one of which is no longer talking to her.

And that one friend is also part of my family. And if losing 1 of 4 people you love is a tragedy, than for me...

It is losing 1 out of the 2 people I have left.
The two people I care for most will not talk to each other. And I am the biggest mediator the world never needed. But I cannot let go of either of the two people I love and care about.

I initiated the disaster. I started the dominoes. And I will pay for it.

I have to.

Nobody expected this catastrophe to affect me, or her, or the boyfriend, or the girlfriend, or the best friend, or the lost friend...

The victim
The aggressor
The manipulator
The cryer
The coward

Me

I cannot fix this with my own two hands.

I look at the two people I care for most.
They will not talk to each other.
And to a point, it is my fault.

I look at them.
We all had to suffer and bleed for this covenant of friendship and family.

This is their family.
This is my family.

This was my family.