our minds are more awake while we sleep.
so this is why i never go to bed.
because i'd rather dream with my eyes open.

and how dare the stars still shine,
as we are dropping dead like flies.

but i guess that's their point.

i like to pretend that i am walking through the universe.
it's much easier to understand up there;
why our eyes shine, why our cheeks ignite.

because we are made of stars.
we are barely a pinprick on the map of this universe,
but we are made to
*S H I N E

i could feel your eyes on me as i laughed
i looked up across the room and there you were
looking straight back
you weren't wearing your glasses
and i don't know about your contacts
so i don't know how much of me you could see
even though i've shown you more than most will ever
i'm sorry for that burden
that painful privilege
i hope you could see me today
well enough to notice my hesitation before i looked back
to the source of my cheer
you are the source of confusion
my desire has been untangling itself but i fear i'll never be free
and i'll be stuck under your gaze
while you continue to not love me

dear "two a.m.,"

soon i shall leave you
we knew the day would come

but i hope you remember
and i hope you forget
there is so much with you i treasure
and so much that i still regret

please don’t think of my spontaneous outbursts towards you
i want you to recall it raining and us dancing and laughing
let my tears slip from your mind
but don't let my scars fade
they are what proved i was real

ask deep questions that startle those you are with
don’t let up, get the answers so you can learn the questions
this is the only lesson i can teach you
for i know won’t be remembered for my intelligence
but for my use of words and how often i gave them

live, love with your heart
i know now that it’s okay to stop thinking
if only sometimes
let my words and my love live

i’ve tried to make my words count
and my love strong
some words i regret, some i didn’t mean
some love was held back, i wish i hadn’t

but they are my legacy
they are what live on
what nothing can strip of me

as the clock strikes "three," just please, don’t completely forget me

~"sg"