Maybe this isn't a poem so much as it is a letter. Not that it's anything new since once upon a time I wrote you a book. I only looked you up because I've been watching a show that has a big display of your type of crazy. It made me think of us for the first time in a very long time. I hate most of the things about you. The way you talk. The things you like. I hate your music, and for the sake of rhyming I hate your stupid ******* bike. I don't know what it was that kept me around for so long. I guess more than anything it was chemistry, not details that drew me in. The great ***. I don't know anymore I haven't thought about it in so long.
Moral of the story is I looked you up today. You've got a new girlfriend and for a second I was jealous. She's not as pretty as I am. Maybe she loves you more; or maybe just for real. All I know is I'm glad we're not together, since I missed you for the first time in years just tonight. There was nothing for me in you. Bye now.

Hey dysphoric trans girl,

I see you.
Your outfit is really cute today.
And I'm really proud of you for getting
Our of bed with such grace.
The weight of dysphoria is heavy
Let me carry it with you.
You're essential to the world we live in.
You're more than a trending topic.
Your bodies existence is a radical act
And it's survival is worthy of celebration
Disappointment *****.
Being able to still be disappointed
Means you are engaged in your life.
You are an active player.
That's good!
Every part of you is a girl.
Especially the part you don’t like today.
Your voice, hands, and feet are feminine
What else could they be

Love,
A dysphoric trans boy

It *****
When you bottle all your emotions up

When you pretend to be happy
When its clear that you're sad

When no matter how hard you try to fix things
You just end up destroying it

When you lose someone you love
But pretend to move on
Especially when they died infront of you

It *****
When you bottle up all your pain
For too long
Too much
That the bottle just crack
And everything is out once again
But this time
There's no way in hiding it

Everything is awful.
It seems when things seem better they always get worse.
Why can't life be easy.
Why can't life be grand for everyone and not just one big struggle to survive!

a routine that is getting old
when will my shell break from this mold
perhaps ill wear something bright and bold

perhaps my actions will come back to haunt
proving that i was the one who was wrong

maybe i should turn back…
maybe i should sing a song

sitting here, oh so clear,
the message and the path are near—
the work still to be done, will it take very long?

i walk on as i sing my song
the one you taught me in a dream
where we broke apart from the seams
from who we were- into the people
we were meant to be, you and me,

now it's just me, fending for myself
we grow without guidance,

no one knows the right or wrong way
and it scares me that ive lingered around

home and comfort,

maybe i shouldnt stay
maybe i should just-

get out of my own way

Prevailing
You were supposed to be there
Five foot three with brunette hair
With eyes that held the kind of stare
That could strip these walls down

Bring me back to ground

Sounding words out to make sure the emphasis
Is on the feeling I found I missed
Which you showed me within a kiss
That was some thing new
Temporary bliss

And now you’re this

Prospect
There’s a new perspective
Mission statements paint directives
As I dive into introspective
To make sure intents are pure

Is this intense? Well, sure...

So long a heart obscure
Feelings, malady and cure
Potent potions cause commotions
That I must endure
In an analysis of myself
So I might be worthy of the wealth
That comes in the form of a girl
Of a gift beyond this world
Coveted amongst any and all
The darkness broken by creeping dawn

A hope that you may text back
But a knowing that you’re
Gone

Laying down
Spending my time
Reading books
Browsing the internet
Watching the sun
Finally set
As my family
Sits outside
In a proper family circle
While I wait
For the night

One day you may love me back,
One day i may walk back into the sunshine...