we are frozen in time - stuck in the muck of the present


© 2020 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.

I want to reach out to you...
I want to help, I really do...
But somehow I feel like you won't let me...
I discovered, it's not my job to let you see...
The powerlessness is heavy...
But not too much to carry...
I know you'll get there...
You just need to realize who's job it is to steer...
God will take you to a place where you belong...
Even after everything goes wrong...
Inside, there is a voice that is always right...
It will never force you or fight...
It will grow louder and stronger, the more you listen to it...
It will show you the way out of any pit...
No matter how dark your circumstances have become...
There is a voice that will always lead you home...
God lets us go through rough times so we can learn...
Sometimes we go on till we are more than worn...
All God wants is that we listen to his voice...
But it's all your choice...
I've decided and I'm happier than before...
There is only 1 thing missing from my core...
I don't see the need in telling you what is gone...
You know why I'm alone...

I sit on an island
In the middle of an ocean of equations
The island is sinking in the water
With nowhere to go
The tiniest island
With the worst person I know
It's awkward as hell
I will soon become desperate
To get away from him
So I stay away
The tiniest island
With the worst person I know
The waves become stronger
The waves become aggressive
He is approaching there's no where to hide
If I say the wrong thing
Or even look his way
He'll surely make me feel bad

I woke from a seemingly never ending abyss of a dream
A desk
A pen
A single page of paper
A chair
A single spotlight
And me
In a single room
For 8 hours
Writing
Writing
Writing
About the horror of my own thoughts.
The afterimage of a previous page of paper
On a never ending loop

Life gave me a map and said "Follow this track
Work hard and stay focused; Don't ever look back.
Don't worry, I'll keep you safe- I give you my word."
I listened, and agreed, for my vision was blurred.

Little did I know, I was on the wrong trail
Far away from my dreams, I was doomed to fail
I'm looking for signs where they'll never be found
I'm shouting for help... but I can't hear a sound
I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere in dread
I thought Life made us strong...it gave me fear instead.