Procrastination

We stare unto the clouds
Waiting for the next instruction,
maybe of a fantasy to live in for the next hour
Then when days pass we start to wonder “what happened, who to do the dishes, who did the laundry?”
Then standing there in our one person apartment wondering who else we mean when we say “we”?
We didn't remember the broken bowls and ate in our only hat
We didn't see a future with life and carefree function
Only slightly  breathing through a telescope

She was so beautiful that even God
created a broken road
  to test if I prove worthy
He summoned women to lure me
  to think that I'll grab a taste
yet it only made my love for her grow
since He only summoned women
that they'll only get a glance
    but never my heart

He made me roam the wildest forest
  in it were the signs of your wild flaws
I have been bruised by the thorns of your traumas
broke my bones
from the falling of branches
that fell cause of the wildlife
who dared to mess with your growth
and I have tumbled upon the roots
of your deepest fears
   only to to feel the pain
that I can mend

Yet after all the struggles
after all the pain that I endured
   I have reached the end
an end where I saw
the beauty that's worth
every inch of misery
   To forever hold you

We experienced struggles in life in order for us to be persistent to what we are planning to build for the future, and to make ourselves stronger than what we have ever thought of.

We cannot deny the fact that we, sometimes, came across of a feeling that we are being left behind, but it should not make us rely on a conclusion that what we can only do is to accept defeat, instead, make up our minds and keep the fire burning in our heads.

As for these struggles unfolded right before my eyes, I knew, it is meant to break my heart but never my aspirations in life. I will do my best, even if best is yet to be found.

i tried on
a new shirt
it fitted ok
not perfectly
by any means
but well enough
               for its price
it would be suitable
for the occasion
i suppose

it could perhaps
be a little longer
as it is liable
to ride up
and reveal my stomach
if i raise my arms
it's also
a little tight
across the chest
if i'm honest
and
now that I think about it
i'm not certain
it actually
suits me

i could just wear
one of my other shirts
that would probably
be more comfortable
and would
save spending
needlessly
there's the old blue one
after all;
i haven't worn that
for awhile

even as adults
given two magnets
we will strive
to force
each matching pole
together
with all
that can be mustered

we learnt
from a young age
that this would not
be possible
and yet
despite this
we would still
push
and
push
until the tips
finally touched
only
to burst apart
as soon as
our grip
was relaxed

it seems we understood
but
would not accept

there is no point
in trying to force
a connection;
it cannot
and will not
last

Why?
Because every memory is still beautiful!
Even when intentions of actions were unkind.
For these burning fires have birthed
My greatest strengths.
Thank you for all you have done.
Our roles at the close of the last act, complete.
Watching as the curtain closes
Shedding the glove, we call a body
We return to the Light from which we came.

Sitting on the floor, just the two of us.
I just told you about how I don't know how to love myself,
and you promised you'll stick with me,
through the learning progress.

I'm falling for you,
falling so hard.
I want to hold you close, hold your hand.

You hugged me on the floor,
and then put your hand on my knee.
I held your hand. You didn't mind.

And then later? You called me cute.
I felt like my heart was gonna explode.

I don't like catching feelings,
the previous time didn't go well.
I am scared that history might repeat itself,
scared to be vunerable.