(Written for a contest “Write a poem based on a poem.’
Inspired by: “My Cat Is High, and So Am I” by Thomas W. Case)

Honey, I was ******, so ******.
I hardly knew what was going on.
That’s when I saw it was gone.

The moon, I mean - hold on -
Takes a swig of ****, but sugary lemonade
I watch the moon - when it’s there - you know?

I’ve always loved the moon - its reflective glamor,
the way it seems to bend light around it,
like a beautiful woman walking into a bar.

The moons like my cat, she has beauty, without vanity
- and without much gravity - like, you know - the moon.

But as I was saying, it was gone - suddenly?
It felt sudden - and visceral - like I’d misplaced something.
I know what you’re thinking, and no, it wasn't behind clouds.

So anyway, man, I looked around and there it was, as if by magic,
it couldn’t have been any clearer and it's never looked nearer,
than it was, right there, in my rear-view mirror.

I had to laugh. You see, I was ****** - so ******.
****** - but I’m never alone, when I can commune with the distant,
inconstant, love of my life, the ever-argent moon.

I am not
a
lone, nor am I a beta, I am a me,
objectively

I could be you, they're coming to take me away,
who could it have been,
tomorrow, came and went, neither you nor me,
you were real, and there, you saw, they took
my mother away,
oh,
it was a time, it was a time, lotta shotgun weddin'
ended with the non ****** bride,
having prescriptions from four doctors, god knows, how many refills each

oh, we had our times of drunk, just
drinkin' not drunk thinkin'
you know, when you let go, oh,
Amelia, I think
sing Let it go, let it go, segue to George

blissed on the way it all came down,
went down, coulda been up, woulda
but
I never knew
what I was doing, oh, ** ** **, you know,
nobody
really, once done, the experience, Job,
and all the spinoffs,

messages with morals seeking worth,
hey, what's this {Your Hate Here} scalp worth?

NOT EVERYONE LIVES LIKE YOU,
Dad,
me, the dad object, seen as any role
that Bill Murray could play, my role,
my children agree, but I know why,
Shadow Lands after Ground Hog Day,

we walked out and said, as we had said
earlier that sunny southern cal -coastal urban
early Nineties, ah,
let's go watch a movie... and it was Shadowlands next.
C.S. Lewis in love,
and now// Pine Valley. Rich in ancient lore,
and more,
I have made amends for my overspills, believe me,

please
believe me, I could not dream this alone,
oh, but I

did, I was just, a kid, I never knew nobody knew, but me.
Barry Rudd.
He is fiction. Bill Murray, maybe, we-- say too soon to call.

I think maybe you're Medusa
Though I'm far from stone
Much closer to ******
Far out of my mind

Still

I am frozen, reduced a
Man to a moment in time
When I was sober
And you were kind

The one who’s behind you is the one you love.
Something else calls you’re name, tickles your ear.
But what happened to the intuition of what was and is so true?
Ticks on your shoulders, did they wait for you?
Left you in corruption, an unsound view.

The trade is so strong, kills your brawn but what can you do? The pain never ends, when no one wins, you can only die in this life. The paper god on your tongue melts you into glue.

It’s agonizing as you bind the world.
Nothing splits you but your pulled by all.
Reality stretches your skin, your mind loses sight and you’re paranoid. It will never end.

And it never ends
And it never ends
And it never ends

A woman evolves from the colors on the wall.
Strange and hairy, lament grows as her fur.
Scintillating messages of life and death they call.
Who am I, and who are you?
I’m speaking in tenses contradictory to a single point of view.
I can hear her scream, as she shaves her pits.
So beautiful it serenades my mind and scars my eyes.

I’ll never have her, and she dissolves into the bars of this cell again. I’m coming down or I’m blasting off, so hard to tell when god digests so well. Release my mind. It will never end.

And it never ends
And it never ends
And it never ends

Pierced skin, stained skin, ripped skin, all over her.
She’s broken and odd, but so close to me, I can’t help but connect.
The cover of her book is blank and new.
Pages are torn and ******, nothing to awe but still novel inside.

It drains me as it’s end never finds an end.
I can’t belong here when I’m rinsed of life and I dry as glue.
Bound and confound I can’t decide what voice to choose.
You’re on the right and I’m on the left, in the middle is me and we are you.
The nurse draws a bath and I am rinsed.
Drooling in comatose they wipe your lip.
Who new god had a price and came in a sheet.
That little square is the key to become like me.
So free from what’s contrived when you can’t decide the difference in truth.

The days go by and the years turn to seconds.
The nurse whispers in our ear, your mother is here and we start to cry. She holds our hand.
And it ends.

And it ends
And it ends

It ends.

my love, my sweet, this pulsing beat
ringing in my ears
a heartbeat in my stomach
head heavy and  d r a g g i n g
nodding out, nodding off
getting off
she did
who did?
jill, jacking off
hijack my life
jumpstart my words
I am plugged in
ready for the ride
shaking fits, out of control
can't help it
help me
things are spinning X
i guess this is why they call me
blackout girl

i feel like we’re all alone
i feel like i could dissolve