Life is like a suicide hike,
Although it's a beautiful trail
It's scary to think one day we'll fall.
We fall because we walk on edges,
Some worth walking on, some not.
Ultimately, we learn from both.


Be careful who you choose to walk with,
Be careful who you choose to sit with.
Because they may just push you off
And way down you'll be falling down.
But sometimes it wasn't them who pushed you off
But it was them you thought would help you up.


And when we've hit our lowest point in life
We start looking for the root of our pain,
But it's dark and empty, it stings we feel lost.
It's no paradise down here, the pain feeds on our strength.
It's a tragic accident that breaks all of our bones.
With no paramedics or anesthesia, we've got to operate ourselves.
We don't know which injury is killing us more,
But we know a slow death is coming for us.
Our blood no more, regret is what the heart pumps now,
We scream and cry away our mistakes
But down here is a curse playing our fall in a loop,


I don't know when it stops
I'm drowning myself in my pain.
I've stained my soul with too much hate
I'm no longer the person who I used to be.
I've been down in the dark for too many days  
But when I start my hike again  
I hope to go further than yesterday.

I never knew what true love was until I met you
When I first saw you I knew that I loved you more than I ever thought I would
Most people probably think I'm talking about that one dream guy when in reality I'm talking about my little sister
She is the reason why I'm alive I need to stay strong for her and she is 16 years younger than me and has my heart already

Plant a seed of hope in your  heart
Hope to make it through the night
When thoughts of fear and sorrow
Capture your mind and steal your peace
Be like a good farmer with faith
Knowing that the dry days will pass
And the soil will be watered
Once more you'll make a harvest
And your baskets shall over flow
With joy and laughter
©Sonia Ettyang

I am not your **** toy
Not a plastic doll
Your fantasies
Don't get to come
True on my account
These aren't your fun bags
My *** is not to smack

My skin longs
For the touch of fingertips
But crawls at the thought
Bristle before, relax
Never knowing
What unwanted touch
Is coming next

Never knew to say no
Never knew wrong was wrong
Until it was all too late

Doctor in the barn
Damaged on the trail
Grabbed my wrist -- was I wrong?
Drank it all away
Faded into blackness
Forcing through the door

Older now
Learning once again
They only want one thing from you;
You're just a last resort
So feign for their attention
Gave as good as got
Dove right down that rabbit hole
Trying to drown it out

And still -- trapped, touched
Touche
But then again, and "No"
That famous word
So infamously hard to hear

Too ashamed to fight back
Give in
Then
Live in
FEAR

Let me say again
Because it bears repeating:
Give in, then
Live in fear
Bare --
Repeating

R-A-P-E
Say it with me now
Such an ugly word
How does it make you feel

Do you feel ashamed
Are you feeling scarred
Do you feel her fear
Or is it not so clear?
Do you feel
Powerful now
Or is it
All her fault

Such an ugly word
So,  say it with me now
R-A-P-E
Found out what it means to me.

You’re gone,
You’re gone
But you’re still here
You’re gone on the inside,
Rotting like a corpse in the sun,
You want to take a gun
And use it like a toy,
You want to **** yourself,
I get it, I really do,
But you need to stay strong,
Do it for your sister,
Your brother,
Mom and dad,
Aunt and uncle,
Do it for the people who care for you,
Do it for the people who love you with all their hearts,
Just hang in there,
Just a little longer!

She looked so happy that you can't tell
Under that smile was a hurricane;
She wore a mask that looked real to the eye;
But underneath it was the scars she hides;
Every pain she felt was hidden in her smile,
The more pain she felt the more she smiled ;
She laughed so loudly ,
That no one knew she was lonely;
She showed herself as whole,
Skillfully hiding the hole;
She never cried she never tried,
All she did was hide it and smile;
Her hurt was stronger than her smile ,
Her emptiness was deeper than her laugh,
She never moaned she never swore,
Cause she was strong and had hope
So all she did was smile.

"When does a person die" a person asked another,
"When they stop breathing of course" added the other.
But I knew better.

You don't die when you stop breathing or break the "physical tether"- as it were.
No.
You die when you're no longer able to cope,
utterly, utterly lost - in the absence of hope.