sometimes, out of great pensivity,
instead of telling the truth
when people ask "how are you"
I hold on to the idea of "privacy"

not today

for the second time this week
I break

the parts of me I dammed shut
came bursting out fast as Niagra Falls

these words I scream are like rocks,
breaking happiness on friends faces
like stained glass churches

and my happy dust falls away
leaving everyone in stunned numbness

shadows of questions drip off their faces
as if they had wicks sticcking out of their heads

what do you say to people you love
when you didn't mean to say anything at all?

nothing.

you run out of there
as fast as legs can move
and hide sobs
with pillow cases

Walking in jeans
stained with
grass
and
memories

miss you
i miss you very much
my crystal tears on the ground echoing spectrum
my cancerous conscience misses you and lays ****** in your eternal love while i decay towards my retribution of infinite hate
its been 20 million years and i still feel kindred,
like petals falling! Shadows calling!
and I can only live as a shade of a ghost

all i wish is to go over days when you were close to me
Those are memories I've carried all the way
So I swear to all the angels
Should they bring you back
I would kneel and thank’em all until the end
Oh I, I miss you


to my beloved spectrum
wish you were here to end this melancholy......

How lovely the sunlight
before it hits the window

The colored shade helps
find my stained recollection

Paints a picture,
of grandeur most saint

Please, guide us tainted souls
to your political patronage.

And lead us not into temptation
to emulate such masterful sin.

When he no longer had my heart,
I felt so clean.
Like I was wearing a white dress.
No stains,
never ruined.
I am once again stained.
Now it's in a pile of ***** white dresses stacking up
next to all your skeletons in my closet.

i can't believe he didn't love me--

i spent so much time
dreaming of what we
could've been,,, and
what we never had, **

on
those days when sunlight
would pour through glass
like liquid ****** and drown my
mind as if
nothing else existed// i remember..:

how i still coughed and cried;
knowing he gave
me up, as though
the memory of us was just a
vignette...

stained,
fleeting.

Incense smoke lingers heavily in the air,
attempting to mask the smell of stale beer
and spilled **** water.
Arrest warrants hang with straight A report cards
and dated paintings I used to call art.

You and I, woven in between soft and stained sheets
on my hand-me-down mattress.
Our clothes, thrown into heaps on the floor.
I stare at faded, falling posters while you trace my scars
left by a pair of hands before yours.

Buddha watches over dusty photo albums and
half read books I will never finish as
Mary hangs off your neck
watching over an unfinished me.

We lay underneath burned out bulbs of ceiling
string lights listening to scratched CDs skip,
sharing a sweet cigarette.
I know you and I are not forever.
like these walls I have                                                          out­grown.