Summer time has come at last
Spring is gone
And I'm alone
Wake me up
When it's September

Here I am so Innocent
But the Innocent
They never rest
Don't wake me up
If all I have is gone

It's like I've met
My own demise
The end at last is here

I can live with my demons
But those angels
Are the ones I dread
Wake me up
If heaven isn't real

I've worked so hard
For so long
To be the best
In what I do
But all I do
Never seems enough

Now at last
I go to rest
Hoping that
It's just a dream
Don't wake me up
Till September comes

I relax
Staring at the moon
Reflective beginnings

This is a day unlike no other
Before the dawn
Before the first zip or button
is fastened

The clothes lay at the end of the bed
Pregnant with possibilities

Step aside slumber
I'm awake
and feeling reborn

No second chances
It's now or never
No time for regret;
Endeavour

a wise young man once shared with me a proverb
“a fox which chases two rabbits will catch neither.”
I’ve been calling you a fox ever since
the weather got too cold for baby blue forget-me-nots
nothing good ever happened in a month like May
but you were my rusty fox
I couldn’t catch you that rainy day
or that frosty night, my love
for fear of crushing inadvertently
an annual bloom.

perhaps you were doomed to be perennial
but you followed me into libraries
and around street corners
I followed you down the alleyways of our city
and through doors;
that only ever led to too little, too late
for which I am truly sorry.

just, please. this time
believe me when I say
I gave everything to you I could
I crossed so many lines too many
but here I stood
silently shouting at you
to love me,
to need me,
to adore me again -
shortly before the weight of the futility
of so much past came to light.

you are the poetry in my poems
you brought the fire, and I brought the fuel
we were almost an experimental pair  -
but you were the wind
and I was driftwood
splinters of me scattered all across the bay
and when you turned,
you forgot how to whistle
the tune we always had.
and I lost sight of you
when the waters stilled too much
for me to be able to feel you there
and be carried along with you.

it is said that
“a fox which chases two rabbits will catch neither.”
but I am done with chasing rabbits
and watering tulip and muscari bulbs in the October springtime
I am willing to put the image of my sun-kissed fox
behind me.

I want September sunshine
I need red sunset
I’ll pursue a crashing wave
and fly into the face of a glowing inferno
because
I want you
I need you
I will let you love me
I will let you love me

and
as I rip and tear these lifelines to shreds
as I dissect my heart in an attempt
to figure out where it all went wrong
I’ll keep looking for you
between paving stones
I’ll keep searching for you
inside cracks in brick walls
I’ll keep seeking you
in whatever way I know how

praying
that since something so remarkable
does not allow itself to be forgotten
it also does not allow itself
to become part of the past.

June will kiss you and tell you that you’re beautiful,
July will ******* senseless and leave you with a bleeding heart,
August will try to put your broken pieces back together only to get cut and leave you still broken,
September will bruise you and ask you why you’re still crying on the floor,
January  will snap  you in half and  later kiss your scars but only ends up cutting you deeper,
February will be an ocean of self destruction, washing over you and gently cradling you in it’s arms,
March is broken records all over your apartment floor and driving to the liquor store at 4 am,
April is blood in the sink, crying yourself to sleep, shaky hands and breaking down every time you hear his name,
May is a storm forming in your eyes when you realize that you need to save yourself and when you stopped loving yourself, they stopped loving you too, when they tell you that wounds will heal, you know that you’re never going to forget.
All you wanted was to hear the words ‘i’m never going to leave you’

Everyone's leaving in September
Welcome to the month of departure
Where everyone leaves you alone
Sitting in your arm chair

January they start to pack
and August is to pack until
SNAP! their gone just like that
No looking back and your still sitting motionless
As life passes you by

A month when I felt like dying,
Everyday, endless crying.
It was a so hard,
Harder than pork lard.
My rippled heart stood at guard,
Fighting the tears as you passed.
The amount of maybes ,
Could have caused me rebbies.
I never want to go back there,
Not even at a high fair.

[name redacted]
When I don't talk to you I'm in Hell
you make me happy enough to scream and yell
I'm guessing it's pretty obvious when I fell?
If not, then well
I guess it is now
You stick out from the crowd
even though you're not very loud and you surround yourself in a shroud,
when guys get to know you to call you their girlfriend would make them proud
Girls are like how'd
she do that
she's skinny and pretty not ugly and fat
and she's cute like a cat
and baby you can wear my hat
you're nice to everyone including some one small as a rat or gnat or a wallflower
let's goto New York and look at a cool tower
and like in Looking For Alaska smoke in the shower
but with **** and when the cops come we wouldn't cower
because we're the 2012 Bonnie and Clyde
I promise to you I've never lied
and I never will
cause you're addicting like a pill and give me a special thrill
I need you to live like a fish needs a gill
still,
please stay in my life if you will?
and we can be infinite until,
forever

Misery is the mother of invention
because in my life happiness doesn't even get a mention
but sometimes I fake smile just to break the tension
I feel like my ******* heart is bent in
like I wish you never went in
You're like the epitome of satan
because you kept me hangin' and waitin'
and I thought eventually we'd end up datin'
I was wrong

Now I'm just a wreck
I want to take a long treck
we kissed but it was just a peck
but now I'm so ****** I want to stab my neck
or my heart
oh wait you already did that part
Cupid shot me with his love dart, arrow
the line I walk is narrow
I feel like the opposite of a pharoh
a peasant
When I saw you it used to be pleasant
but now I don't even want your presence

I keep a smile completely suppressed
because I look terrible while you're best dressed
what you daddy's little princess?
if you were mine I wouldn't need the rest
but you're not
so through my heart I'm shot
so I take another of those and let my liver rot
because I think a lot
to you I'm just a friend
but for you I'd do a back bend
or any variant
remember all the times for you at church I went?
my heart is still an empty vent
and it, you still possess
but guess what? Now it's a frown I suppress.