On scraps of paper
strewn about the house,
I catch a glimpse of your handwriting  
and it resurrects you from the dead.

Amongst the living,
I can hear your whistle  
as it echos in the hall  
and I remember how I thought that,
'one day, you would make a good dad'.

Amongst the living,
I forget for a moment
that you’re thirsty  
for my blood.  
and that dust now gathers
in the spaces  
where the blood used to flow.

Amongst the living,
I forget for a moment
that you’re haunting me.  
That you’re still here  
but I can’t speak to you.  

That your corpse still lies  
in the next room
Still.  
Tv blaring,
The smell lingers  
and it’s getting bad.  
my phone lights up with your name  

and I jump.

Amongst the living,
I remember  
that you’re only broken.  
I can see your smile
in my mind’s eye,  
Your freckles  
and how I used to count them.  
I wonder now
how much time I’ve spent  
staring at your face  
and how I knew our baby
would have those eyes too.
primal, astral, ancestral,
blue.

I loved you once
and for a moment,  
I remember.

coloring inside the lines is impossibly bleak,
with a hissing noise
atomic locomotive
rounds the bend,
extrasensory perception is not
a mindless gift,
it's a train station in the clouds,
tracking all my starting points to you,
nothing in the middle,
nothing at the end.

you leave in opera
with secrets and grievances
under the radar,
and your ready-made
wings catch in the power lines,
you're coiling like smoke
in the arches of my cathedral,
a sense of elegant decay
while sweeping up the debris,
committing arson
with the paraffin of my temporal lobe.

yesterday's fairground waltzes,
ghosted lullabies,
and woodland hymnals,
set in a context not of
resolution and closure,
but of contradiction and assimilation,
break the bond,
away they float on purveyor belts,
one too many molecules,
one too many departures,
always on the surface of everything,
nothing in the middle,
nothing at the end.

I'd **** myself if it meant it spared you all the pain,
I'd willingly go crazy if it meant that you would stay sane
I wish I didn't have to make an impossible choice,
I'm trying to handle it with some grace and poise,
I hate that I see your face devoid of a smile,
I know it will remain like this for a while.
I hate that I'm making your dreams disappear,
I hate that I can't predict the future; it's so unclear.
The world refuses to help in any way,
I'm forced to hurt you, to ruin your every day.
If I could ask the universe for just one boon,
It would be for time to fly, so I can be with you, soon.

Sometimes I hear a whisper,
The slightest hum of her voice,
Eyes scavenge the plains before me,
For a glimmer of her,
For a glimmer of hope,
Alas! There is none,
Nothing but the thoughts of a melancholic mind.

Sometimes the wind carries a fragrance,
Redolence of our past embrace,
Lips spread to call out her name,
For a sight of her,
For a sight of love,
Alas! There is none,
Nothing but the thoughts of a melancholic mind.

Stage lights and the shimmer of red sequin
He read her like a book
And his teeth kept on shining,
he's been there before

She’s singin’,
“In Heaven
Everything is fine
In Heaven
Everything is fine
You got your good thing
And I've got mine

Everything is fine”

It’s enamoring, he thinks to himself,
“You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last, love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you

Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothin' else to compare
The sight of you leaves me weak
There are no words left to speak
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
Wise men say
"Only fools rush in"
But I can't help falling in love with you”

She’s looking back,
Fading as she sings and thinking,
“Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life, I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?”

The song ends and she slips
into the bar-side
of his hunting grounds,
he feels ignored,
so he walks over
“Oh, What is love?
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

Baby, don't hurt me
No more
Can you tell me,
What is love?”

Maybe it's too much so she bows out
“ok, can you make me some magic with your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?”

“No,” he’s disappointed,
“I don't know why you're not fair
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong?
Gimme a sign”

She asks, ”What is love?
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more

can you cater to every fantasy I got?
can you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
can you take me places I've never known?

What is love?
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more.”

He responds slowly,
Soon hurrying his words,
“Oh, I don't know, what can I do?
What else can I say? It's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you.
I can't go on.”

She scoffs,
“I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
Sooner or later you'll be ******* around”

“look,” he says, “I love you, baby
And if it's quite alright
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely night
I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
Now that I've found you, stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you”

Some time passes
Some days it don't come easy
Some days it don't come hard
Some days it don't come at all
And these are the days that never end

Some nights she’s breathing fire
Some nights he’s carved in ice
Some nights she’s like nothing he’s ever seen before
or will again

Maybe I'm crazy, but it's crazy and it's true
I know she can save him, no-one else can save him now but her
As long as the wheels are turning
As long as the bays are burning
As long as her dreams are coming true
She’d better believe it
he would do anything for love
he knows it's true and that's a fact
he would do anything for love
And there'll never be no turning back

I know now though
Nothing lasts forever
And even time will pass
She’s gone to the winds
Of seasonal doubt,
He’s in a mood
and already out,
she pleads as he packs
“stay!”

and he says back to her,
“Shall I stay, would it be a sin?
If I can't help falling in love with you. no,
Sometimes I feel I've got to run away
I've got to get away
From the pain you drive into the heart of me
The love we share seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my life
For I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you
Now I run from you
This ******* you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all.”

“but…”
she puts her hand on his shoulder

He recoils,
“Don't touch me please, I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm gonna pack my things and go

If I should stay
Well I would only be in your way
and yet I know
I'll think of you each step of the way”

She’s there crying on the kitchen floor,
Left to live her life,

Many weeks slipped by her mood
Passing through the avenues
She meets her man
Before either found anyone new.

So they take a hike
And at the peak she starts talking,
“At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
And so you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock,
I should have made you leave your key
If I'd known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.”

He opens up a little,
“No matter how hard I try
You keep pushing me aside
And I can't break through
There's no talking to you
It's so sad that you're leaving me behind
It takes time to believe it
But after all is said and done
You might be the lonely one.”

She says “Do you believe in life after love?
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough, no
Do you believe in life after love?”

He says, “I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love

Give a little bit
Oh, give a little bit of your love to me
I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
There's so much that we need to share
So send a smile and show you care

See the man with the lonely eyes
Oh, take his hand, you'll be surprised
Like the river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so we go
Some things were meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
'Cause I can't help falling in love with you”

She melts just enough to say,
“Just a little bit of love,
that is all we need for the second day.
Is it hard to be a friend,
for a little while in a simple way?
Just a little bit of love
and a friendly face makes the world look bright.
And a shining star above
will help you through the darkest night.

When you feel down,
don't sit and cry the whole day through.
Don't wonder why
it all must happen to you.
Put on your coat, come over.
No, it can't be that bad.
Put on a smile, don't look so sad.”

Then she asks, “Will you hold me sacred?
Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life,
I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?”

“yes, I can do that
Oh I can do that” he answers

She continues,
“Will you make me some magic with your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?”

He says, “I can do that”

Finally she asks,
“Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I've never known?”

“I can do that
Oh, I can do that.” he finally answers

She can’t believe it,
“After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on”

He holds on,
“No, I won't do that
I won't do that”

She finishes,
“I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
Sooner or later you'll be ******* around.”
Waiting for a reply…

He answers slowly,
Pacing himself,
Like it’s a race til death do us part,
“I won't do that
Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love
But I won't do that
No, I won't do that.”

It's hard to know from where you rang out, and how the tone changed from memory to sorrow. Perhaps all those little cuts from the knife of Aristotle came with a price. Or maybe the polygraphic wildlife detected in your letters, enough to stir the inner fabric of my womb, drew out the scent. This is more than obligation, child. This is about the seasons of force or choice. And how the aural disintegrations from your mouth sound so effortlessly submitted and submerged. I fear they've turned to acceptance, their floral remnants as besieged as a Sarajevo Rose. My love for you will never live on the margins. This love is a tree-lined battlement. An endless voyage on the barometric sea.

It's so hard to know from where you rang out. But worse, I suppose, to hear nothing at all. Nothing until ambulance day. And the words a mother should never have to endure.

It takes a while
before it will be over
with room for someone else
For now it is too empty

where you have always been
People soon forget that
when we have a chat
and laugh at something small

Your mother is great
She does what she can do
so without a man
You know the drill

the neighbour mows the lawn
He's really old
time and again he asks
where you have gone

But if I had known it beforehand
I would just as well have been in love
just as well be that woman
still in love with you

rain fell, in leaps and bounds
and you dissolved with the last of summer days