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Feb 26
I don’t want to see you anymore
For I should have always hated you
But I didn’t, because I just met you
In a hallway, I didn’t necessarily like…
But more of all because in the phrase sugar and spice
You seemed like the sugar but turned out to be the only reason I cried

It’s been a while now and I just want to ask you what have I done?
It’s about everyday that I hear new things about me.
I just want to let you know that all my life I’ve perceived from the sight of some other
Only your vision is one I have not come across to see.
In this tiny life of mine never have I crossed paths with someone who has a perspective like this towards anybody

I don’t blame you,
For I am the one at fault.

Not because you were a nice person
Neither because I probably did something
But I am here because I believed in you.
I believed that anything I do, you. Would not turn
But, I was wrong.

That is why every day next to the wall that is covered with dents and the paint that this world calls blood I wonder
What is worse than caring for someone who never cared for you back
My response Is caring for someone who never knew.
Days pass, years too
And as these hours go by you are no longer the person you once knew
You are dead, dissipating in this thin, cold air. Deceased.

So, to the other side of my soul,
Please, stop.
Quit acting like the sugar in my life because, in the end, I have to suffer, not you.
Quit being the vision that see-through but just cannot hold afar and sight.
Quit being me because if this goes on then I don’t want to see you anymore.
To the other side of my body
Why don’t you love me, can you not see me cry?

I am breaking down next to you why can’t you stop me?
Do you really think I like to break us like this, never.
So to the side of me are you ready for leaving, have you packed your bag full of memories?
Because if I could hate you then I would
But, you are weaved into my spirit and these needles don’t work.
Don’t lurk behind someone who you hate.
Do what you have always done leave me in the dirt
For one of us needs to go.
I have never actually liked myself for as long as I can remember, this is a message to my worst enemy.
Written by
Aarushi Pandey
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