A thought heavy on my mind
Doesn’t seem to go away
Especially with meals placed in front of me

I began looking more into the number
And seeing myself as only pounds
Forgetting how happy these things made me

I haven’t listened to any of these urges
But I don’t know how much longer I’ll last
Hey I promise I’m okay

Why do you smoke?
All your thoughts begin to choke
Your weak windpipe, delicate from pain,
And now you’re alone, hurting again.

Why are you smokin’?
Are you truly that broken?
So desperate to leave this place,
No one to have as a safe base.

Realising all the pain you cause,
in your head, sarcastic applause,
Recognising your life is a joke,
Is that why you choose to smoke?

I have a dark, slithering thing
it lives in me
curled up in the cavity
just above my stomach
it only awakes
to eat and destroy
feasting on my emotions
and destroying my self-confidence
as my other emotions are slowly dying
to where I cannot feel them anymore
the dark, slithering beast
gives me one emotion
it is the only emotion
envy
I turn jealous and hateful
unable to smile with the beast showing me
how everyone is so much better
it hisses to me:
your best friend is funnier and nicer
your girlfriend more talented and pretty
they will turn away eventually
for you have no good qualities
I can’t bear to hurt anyone
so I turn to isolation
the great, slithering beast turns on me
and from the inside out
tears me to shreds