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Broken Pieces Apr 2021
I'm finally ready to go,
But there is a fear that I won't let show.
I'm so scared I'm going to fall into the same dark,
I'm still forced to relive the past with every single mark.

What if I'm not actually ready to be okay?
What if everything goes great until people don't stay?
Why do I have so many fears about this day?
I keep saying I'm ready but is that really the way?

People tell me the fears are only in my head,
But I still have the biggest fear of being dead.
It's true I've worked hard and I seem new,
But yet there is something that still draws me to you.

I always thought if I could smile I was over you,
But I smile and the pain stays too.
If you say you're okay enough I'm sure it'll work,
But the demons will always stay around and lurk.

So yea I'm ready to leave, let's see how this will go,
Hopefully all of my emotions will begin to show.
I really do want this to be different so please help me,
I just want to be happy and be set free.
I thought a bit today
That I've shed more tears
For those I don't know
These past two years

I cry for those who've battled
For those who lost their fight
For the workers who aided them
As they pass on day and night

I've cried at situations
When I'm safe behind my door
For those who are unable
To see the arrows on the floor

I cry because the future
Isn't coming soon enough
Solutions are just smoke rings
Disappearing with a puff

My eyes are all blurry
Red and always burning
I cry because from what I see
So many just aren't learning

My tear ducts keep releasing
Prayers for those now dead
Hope for those still living
Believing lies that they've been fed

Anger, I don't feel it
I haven't for two years
I only feel frightened
And I can only share my tears
Andrew Apr 2021
Why do you scare me?

I'm not sure
and maybe
I won't ever be -

I push the soft confines
of the blanket
to cover me whole

I just wish you didn't

I hastily turn the light off
No no one Apr 2021
As I fallen asleep,
In deep slumber
My soul walks wonders
As I wander aimlessly,
I fell upon deep sea.

Plain white wall full of surprise!
Makes me scared to feel left lone in a white lands.
As I walk to escape from reality Step by step,
Made me feel bleed flowers with sharp leaves.
If only there a day you're in this land..
I don't mind to stay forever in this darkness night.
I had long for you my one and only.
Andrew Apr 2021
We sat there

a divide between us

I didn’t know what to say
how to say it
or when to say it

so instead

I said nothing
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