Darling, I've been bad again
When I'm with some other one
Your thought is not in sight
But in my lonely rubble
Our past haunted me
And prompted me
To taste you once more
But this was lust not love I implore
For the craving of company and touch
Rather than for feelings and such

I don't have to wait anymore
Things will soon never be the same
Landscapes will change to shapes and shades I've never seen
I won't be there, will that finally make you feign
Or at least want me or miss me just a bit
You were never decisive, you had no grit
You were like the wind, here for just a moment
And not a second more, leaving me to lament
You thought your presence was some blessing to your generation
But truth is you've never even been a local sensation

I read the signs wrong.
Got so caught up in the possibilities,
I didn't consider the possibility of you not wanting me.
I was just a warm mouth, right?
An ****** to drown out your own emtions,
it felt like a new beginning.
I should've known.
You're an inherently selfish man,
emotions don't come naturally to you.
They come effortlessly to me.
Your thumb on my wrist, your hand in my hair, it felt like a sign.
To you it felt like a favor, an IOU for being your friend.
I owe you nothing.
I owe myself everything.

i've never been one of you
let's face it
maybe it was he way i did not laugh at your insensitive jokes
or the way that i was not as cool as the others
i've always given more and more and more of myself
never got anything in return
and
truth be told
i've always secretly resented you for it
i've always hated hated hated hated hated you for it
the bubbling bitterness at the base of my stomach
like bile
burning rising
i choke it down
and say hi babe thank you for being such a great friend
the words leave a bad taste in my mouth.
the worst part?
by hiding these true feelings of mine
and being so incredibly fake
i'm just as bad as you are
maybe we truly do deserve each other

If I were to be a believer
I would believe not only in god
But in the devil
And believe me when I say,
I would choose the latter.
Pray, that I do not believe.

Whenever I'm beside you, whenever I'm alone,
I want to just hide through, every emotion that I've shown.
The rain is pouring down now, and I'm losing my vision.
There's absolutely no sound, but I've heard it devours from within.

But this life, this is sinning.
It's never the end, always the beginning.

The darkness is so empty, and it swallows me whole,
I hope you don't forget me, I wish I fit your soul.
Please stop ripping at concrete, stop tearing at the thread,
I'm memorizing with my feet, a path already lead.

But this is life, this is sinning.
I've withstood this so long and my patience is thinning.

You walk along my dreams now, when I close my eyes you're there,
I've stopped asking the how, and I've accepted the where.
The what is desperation, and the when is all the time,
the who is my inspiration, but it stopped being mine.

But this is life, this is sinning.
You can't stop the world, it'll always be spinning.