remedies is not only for something we can't pass
remedies is for everything that has broken
or just to re-new something
-
she learns something from her life, everyday
but she never had a chance to write those down

it's not a scam when she said her favorite things to do are reading & writing or writing & reading
reading a poem or her self-diary
writing a poem or a self-diary
she doesn't know if is a gifts
or just a hobby
because everytime she finished wrote all her poems, she re-read it, and she thought all eyes those read her words can write it too (with their own version(s))

in this, not-so, new day(s)
herself will embarks to write all the tales where she's involved in

as long as she living her life
this era is the lowest point in her life
she doesn't know if it actually is, or it's just she made it all low

she can't even say a word to herself
she can't even write what's in her head
she can't even tell anyone when she really needs a person to talk
all are just mixed up in her little head


she doesn't know if it is something like "manifesting" or what
all she knows that she can't figure it out yet
is it something related to science? like human mind?
is it something related to religions? like human relations with The Creator?
but one from many answers for the solutions (based on her own researches) is self-improvement
she is pretty sure that is something wrong inside herself
something to be fixed
something that needs remedy
but her body & mind are not so sure what is that (or what are those)
her body & mind are still figuring out

it's not finished yet
it is still figuring how it needs to be stopped
it is still progressing
'it' is this story, her story, my story
..

Puberty arrives
With it's accompanying drives
Plus the scourge of teenage acne.
Most remedies would fail
Nothing ever worked well
While my face continued to attack me.

Father scoffed "Son I implore
If you scrub your face more
Then your acne will soon disappear."
Scrubbed as hard as I could
But it still did no good
Further proof that my case was severe.

Unsightly, painful and embarrassing...
By adulthood it stopped its harassing.

I’ve been thinking of all the methodical remedies
Blank spaces
What’s left of my memories
Drugs in my head and I swear some are a mystery
I can’t feel my face maybe it’s all the ketamine

Treasure every happy details
Forget all the bad memories
Stand up from all of your fails
Stay focused on the remedies

I wish I was in Connecticut
I want to hold something close
and feel

unstable

for once i feel stable in my life
but these bricks shoes are entirely too heavy
I don't mind the feeling
of floating
the breeze may batter and abuse me
but someday my seed will root
maybe Connecticut
is fertile

We laugh and sleep and zone into our screens
someday we will do this again
my perspective can change
I'll look over your shoulder
you can kiss mine
I'll stop reading you memes you can't see

Your height is a number
I want you to surpass my idea of you

Can we get married yet?
I want to show you all the things I create
Let's create something small and full of
life
our eyes
our hearts
our bodies
we can blend