I woke up under the sun/in my throat/in a prison cell/on someone else’s bed.
The mirror said hello/goodbye/nothing/my name in cursive.
I brushed my teeth/stared at my reflection/spoke to the sink/bled a little.

She was waiting in my bed/on my roof/in my mailbox/not at all.
She said: I missed you/I made you/I warned you/I’m not real.
I said: Me too/I know/I’m sorry/Who am I?

I put on my coat/face-mask/body/new name.
Went outside/stayed inside/went sideways.
The street looked like a dream/a crime scene/a question mark/my old bedroom.

Someone grabbed my wrist/my leg/my shadow/nothing.
They asked: “Did you mean it?”
And I said: Yes/No/What did I say?/Who’s asking?

When I sat at my laptop one day, I heard my windows flip out. They weren’t happy with their salary.
  “Ours is too high! Give us less!”
  “Yeah, you’re spoiling us!”

I went on with my everyday tasks, however, I told myself:
  “Wait, why would I give them a salary, even?”

So I stopped paying them for at least 6 hours.

The next day, they were cloudy.

I said:
  “Where’s the sunlight?”

They responded:
  “Our salary is too low! Give more!”

I was, to be fair, extremely confused, yet it made sense. I opened a window halfway, and they groaned. I sprayed them with glass cleaner, and they wept.

I said:
  “Why do you always complain?”

The windows finally opened themselves, slowly, and said something that opened my eyes:
  “Because labor with no meaning is torture.”

Lazy *******.

You did this to yourself
Acting so tough
Crash the sky, it’s called corrosion
“Spread my wings and cut them off!”

Where is your gown?
What comes up will come down

So tall
Yet so fragile
So empty inside
And then it all shattered…

Where is your gown?
What comes up will come down

It was you
Why did you do it
For me

these people

I can’t see them anymore
I don’t want to see them anymore
I have no desire to see them anymore

I never think about
phoning them or
messaging them or
stopping by to say “hi.”

I don’t care about
what’s happening
in their lives or
who they’re dating
or what memories
we had together

yet they insist, they demand
that I visit them
that I sit down with them
that I talk about nothing important
with them

and I can’t say no

because I know how it feels:

during those times,
when I was down and out
and needed someone
to turn to, to talk to
but there was no one around
I felt the terror & the darkness
constricting my cold and lonely heart
as all the vitality and connection was draining
from my ventricles of ire
like blood from a stone

and so much of that
over a lengthy period of time
has made me a lot stronger,
more independent from people
and maybe even borderline aloof
from all human interaction

I no longer need them
I no longer want them around

but I can’t let anyone
feel that same way
that I felt

so long ago.

pitiful.

It’s a sign of weakness, they said, to show your face: “too pale, too tired, too human.”

My mind is racing, looping like a broken wheel… Do they hate me?

Every glance feels like a weapon; every word, a cold dissection. I try to walk through the crowd unseen, but I am simply raw meat on a butcher’s hook, spinning slowly under the fluorescent lights.

And then I see her. She laughs, and I think it’s a kindness, but she looks away too quickly. My fists tighten; the world sharpens into jagged edges. Pull her hair, I think, rip the scalp off, strip the mask, and see if what’s underneath is as hollow as what I feel.

But the moment passes, like all moments do. My pulse somehow slows, the crowd swallows me whole again. I have no mouth. I want to scream. I can’t. I want to decide something, anything, but the choices aren’t mine to make.

Don’t you see?
Nothing is decided by us, in this modern world.
It’s a strong bond to appearances.

I took note of your scathing criticism.
It’s the best joke of the century.
Hell, even of the millennium!

  “You should’ve learned how to change.”

Change? CHANGE?!
I changed so hard I broke the mirror
And swallowed the shards for breakfast!
  (The taste is particularly exquisite)
  (Taste? Heck, you can call it a rebranding!)
  (With a side of narcissism and a pinch of performance — natural for an artist!)
    (Believe me — it digests easier)
    (And leaves less of an aftertaste)

I became:
  Gene Kingstone,
  Ásgeir Geirmundsson,
  Frodo Clayhanger,
  Rakin Badr Shamoon,
  Ouya Ishikawa,
  René Bérubé,
  Sargent Fresne,
  Fabien Giroux.

Eight names, a thousand apologies.
Eight lives, and not a single one wasted.

Look at the barrel you set aflame!
And I’m the neologism you feared to create.

I was standing in the fields one day, like I usually would be doing, legs deep in grass, the wind nudging my ears with things I hadn’t yet lived. The sky above me was in a shade of grey I couldn’t name.

  “The weather is beautiful today.”

That’s when the horse appeared.

He jumped, upright, landing with the brutality of a ballet dancer, although he shouldn’t know how to. He had only two legs, thin and humanlike, and one of its molars, impossibly large, vibrated, producing a melody I couldn’t recognise, yet somehow remembered.

It leaned close. His breath smelled like burnt tobacco and languages. Then it said:

  “But Aleksejs…”

Terrifying in its intimacy.

And just like that, it was gone.
No sound. No dust. No hoofprints in the grass.

Nothing.
  Nothing.
    Nothing.

I stood there, frozen.
Not cold.

Later, when I woke up (though I couldn’t say for sure when the dream began or if it had ever truly ended or even started), I sat on the edge of my bed and told myself:

  “Was it me he was talking to?”

Frankly, no one answered. But the top left corner of the ceiling pulsed once, lightly,
And for some reason, I took that as a yes.

A: A pump?
B: A pulse.
A: A ****?
B: A nurse.
A: A dump?
B: A purse.
A: A lump?
B: A curse.

A: An illiterate curse? Like the King of Suicide-Land?
B: Yes, and his land beyond this limited veil.
A: You mean my curtains?
B: The agreement you signed while asleep.
A: I don’t remember.
B: You weren’t supposed to. That’s how contracts work here.
A: So I signed away my thoughts?
B: Just the ones with teeth.
A: I liked those. They bit back when I cried.
B: That’s why they were taken.

A: And the King?
B: He governs with a broken wristwatch and a hymnal full of typos.
A: Sounds professional.
B: His grimoire is made of expired passports.
A: How charming.
B: He doesn’t speak anymore. Just shivers.
A: I think I’ve heard of him! When the showerhead told me—
B: That’s his embassy. In your bathroom.

A: Is this real?
B: You’re asking the wrong room.
A: The wrong room?
B: Yes. This room only answers while wearing someone else’s shoes. Try the hallway, it lies best.

A: And my dress?
B: Tomorrow evening.
A: Does it bleed?
B: Only when you wear it backwards.
A: That’s the only way I wear anything now.
B: Good. Then you’ll fit right in.

Every second is a bomb for the ice cream man to produce.
Inconsistent shaking? Have some neon.
Make the creamsicle's go to waste.

You park beside the morgue and hum in F minor,
Melting coins into syrup for the children who never drank alcohol.
A girl trades her elbow for one pistachio and a half.
A boy eats time by the hour (soft-serve style).

The sun peels back its citrus skin in ****** motion.
Flies memorize everything. Everything.
The truck grows legs and no one ever asks for change.