In the dim light of the street lamps
On a warm fall night
We spoke until we were spinning
On the wonder
Of how this hasn’t happened yet
Laughing until our faces hurt
Over everything and nothing at all
Passing back and forth
Stories of past adventures
And perhaps we’ve told them before
But this time seems different
There’s a spark in the air
Or maybe a gentle breeze
Either way we inch closer
Until we’re inches apart
Knowing this can’t happen
But enjoying the drumroll
Remembering
That we’re in the company of others
We sigh secretly
Not here
Not now
But maybe someday

A challenge to dating men
Is I don't want to insult them by calling them gay
Yet there's no way of knowing
Unless I ask
But I never know how they'll react to the possibility
Which is fair
Because the possibility of their wrath
Keeps me from saying anything
So I can live in a fantasy of possibilities

You may write it off as internalized homophobia
Or say that these are problems everyone faces
But the more I see the more I know
And I've seen an aura of toxicity
And the possibility of it's removal

This blitzkrieg of thoughts
Pitch black it becomes
Rain starts dripping
And encumbrance starts to come
Inebriated I, again started to hum
But this time it felt discrete
Cause surmise was not there to ***
The dissolution of karma
That’s become my dharma

I becoming amble, in the grime of this scramble
That is who I want to become
"How I become", this never come in my find
Reverberation of exploring open up my mind
My gait become frolic
And a realization hit my mind
You know there is a way
There is always a way
That is just how lore percolates
A torrent of possibilities
Not a mangled world, but truth to our eyes

We are on this adventure
Maybe come some derails
But we will leave trails
We have to believe
Otherwise the past is just a deceive
We know a lot
We believe a lot
But still I Seek, all day
However I may
This so called Life

On the edge of the cliff above me
***** rusty barrels loom
full of pollutants
detritus massed
from the darkness
of my errors
poor decisions
momentary failures to recall
and then act on the ideals
I rely on to inspire and move me.

Here I am at dawn
on the brink of a new day
full of possibilities
laughter, tenderness, listening and lingering
here I am at a moment of genesis

IF

I have the sense
and shameless audacity
to simply notice and accept those looming barrels
and their polluted contents
as yesterdays
and leave them there.

Untangle my body from yours
                        Step number one
Untangle my gaze to stop from speaking volumes
                        Step number two
Untangle my dreams from reality with you
                        Step number three
Untangle my definition of happiness from your presence
                        Step number four
Untangle the future from possibilities containing us
                        Step number five
Untangle my person from yours
                        Impossible

I find darkness a wonderfully funny thing
How it is associated with evil

But when I look at the nights sky
I see the warmth of a crisp dawn
I see change and the majesty of another chance
A feeling of protection and resignation
Renewal, even
I feel a sense of vastness and possibilities

I felt the feeling a blanket pulled over me beside the fire on a howling winters night.
The arrival of home

I found the darkness of night frightening
About what could be inside, under its veil
But when you embrace it for itself
What it is
You can see the brightest of stars
And sea of brilliant colours
A sea of feeling


Because of course, the light never truly leaves us even when the stars dwindle
Around the corner
Is the chance

grab me and wrap me up
in hope and
possibility

paint my walls white
to erase these
bruises

softly hold my face as my eyes
pour out the worlds
pain

but please

whisper in the night
of your love
as i drift