Are you really so far away
That I cannot touch you,
And feel the crinkles of your sleeve
Underneath my fingers upon your arm?

Would you simply look around
And turn away again,
Not knowing that I talk
To you all by myself?

Even if you could listen,
And not hear a word;
Would you know that I’m
Just a little bit crazy?

Just a little bit crazy
With longing for you.

How I long to see  
even the shadow  
on your face,
because I know
then we’ll be close again.

In wilderness, I wait for her—
Flocks of wildfowl are landing,
I watch the sun as it saunters,
Ice starts to form on cold lake.
By smoldering fire, I cannot keep
Warm, embers die in plain night,
Only dreams are comfort as I lie
And when I wake the sun is gone.

I‘m telling myself that I‘m not
in love with you
because you‘ve never made me cry
(though you have,
once,
just once, and I try to forget it ever happened
because it was stupid
and I was childishly jealous
for no reason).

It‘s so easy
to lie to myself, because
we only see each other once in a while.

But when I do see you, my heart races.
You smile at me and my knees buckle.
You hold my gaze and I can barely breathe.

I want to kiss you.
I want to be held in your arms and I want to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you.

I miss the sheer height of you
And the breadth (of your knowledge)
And putting my arms around the width of you.

I miss the whole of you
The body and soul of you.

I had a future once;
with some beautiful dame with (his) ***** blonde hair and (his) blue eyes and our white picket fence.

Him coming over for dinner every night,
him taking our little girls out every Saturday spoiling them rotten.
And I guess it was okay (but not really)
since I had a future with him.

(I had a future with him, but not in the way that really mattered.)

*I thought that this was just a fleeting thing, a passing moment, an innocent crush.