Spilled pill pieces
like crushed up Reese’s
I found my thesis;
in an empty stomach.
I formed some habits,
they reproduced like rabbits
and if I couldn’t stab it
I’d try to make it plumbic.
Decide to destroy at any cost,
I can’t hide or play coy; I’m my final boss.

I’m so messed up that I used to enjoy the battle;
while I lost, I lost to myself so I’d win.
Lamb to slaughter but too much guilt for the cattle,
maybe a sort of pacification that we can begin.
No cheat codes for this game we play.
All we sow is the seeds for another day.

Blurry scenes
and forgotten dreams,
no ends to a means,
but it started quite simple.
It began with quiet sighs
and tired bagged eyes
my grin would rise
but it seems I lost my dimples.
I was stumbling and swaying yet so lost,
fumbling while playing; I’m my final boss.

I was so messed up that I used to enjoy the game;
while I lost, I lost to myself all the same.
There’s no contra code and no extra lives,
no easy mode, no new game plus to replay twice.
No cheat codes for this game we play.
I keep wishing I could pause, wishing I could just stay.

There’s no save spot in sight,
no shrine and no campfire.
My hands gripping on so tight
my mind and my eyes tire.
I wished to be the hero of time,
always scared that I’d become a Ganon.
It took some work but my Zelda’s mine
I hope that ending stays canon.
But life is something that can’t be cheated,
destiny can’t ever be defeated.

I looked for you
in other people.

But,
you weren’t there.

So, I’ll wait,
still, in the space between us,
until you feel the same.

I awake
Having not slept
As the moon sets,
Soft light nestled
Like warmth and draped
Over your curves.

My sons you have birthed
And patiently you've waited
For my slowly unraveling heart.

I am inwardly old and slow with these things and so you walk, not run with me.
Together
We reside in a moment
Of soft breaths and peace.

Should I not work till death creaks
In my bones to provide you
A mirror of heavens peace
Here with me?

a ray of light in my eye and
the living Word on my lap
a cup of milk in his hands
and the look of a loving mother
gazing upon the essence of her son.

What do you do when
You already know the answer
But the time of the question
Has not come?

Wait.
Sit.
Be,
Still.

Let obedience be a key,
A vessel and that
Yes, shall be an open door
Into a new season.