I was frozen to the bed
When he reached inside me
With his hands and his staff
And stole something from me.
Yes, I was bleeding,
But he did not draw his knife.
It was fear that kept me immobilized.
His act, perpetretrated while I was mentally tied,
Has taken my ability to feel safe in my own body.
It has ruined dark corners and altered my mornings,
Left me feeling vulnerable and torn shreds through my psyche.
The **** of a partner ruined all intimacy.
His crime was not one of sheer physical brutality,
But an act of Mental Violence
That has forever altered me.

I fell in love
With the
Kind part
Of you,

The one
That would make sure everyone
Was Okay,
Even though you were not,


I fell in love
With the
Brave side
Of you,

The one
That did things,
Without a care in the world;
About what others thought of you.

I fell in love
With the
Loyalty piece
Of you,

The one
That stood up,
For the people you love the most,
Even though you were the one who needed someone to stand up for you,

You did
All of that,
Without knowing what others thought of you,
And you chose,

And you chose
To let it go,
To let it fade,
A piece buried.

I used to love
The broken soul
You once had,
Because you were kind, brave, and full of loyalty.

Now it’s faded,
And you don’t care,
You thought someone was not out there for you,
But I am... I was,

Until you let it fade,
Until you chose to go;
In your place is someone
That I don’t know.

I fell out of love
With the
Dishonest
Side of you,

The one
That lied
About anything
To friends and teachers.

I fell out of love
With the
Lazy
Part of you,

The one
That didn’t care
For the dreams
You once had.

I fell out of love
With the
Rude
Piece of you,

The one,
Who talks
Over someone
Telling an awesome story.

I don’t know anymore
Whether I love you or not,
But I do know that the person
You once were is faded and is never coming back.

You may have lost your soulmate,
I may have been her,
But I don’t care,
You lost your chance,

Now you are
Someone I don’t know; Don’t love
You were
Someone I used to know; Used to love

In my nightmare you had cancer
Which turned your face wooden
I felt your features but not your skin
I’ve been imprisoned and tortured
By those who birthed you
Who share your blood yet not your feelings
They made you to talk to her
Why else would you feel  
There was still a spark and raw desire
Towards the one who cheated and lied
Made you swallow the pill of pain…
Killer is her name, your forgotten secret
Whom you deny with your other self

Is this love?
This steady heartbeat  
These interlocked arms  
and entwined feet
The gentleness of us.
Is this love?

Is this love?
No overwhelming passion found here.
Only a few nerves
No encompassing fear
The acceptance of us.
Is this love?

Is this love?
Not the film promised romance
No tidal waves of emotions.
Just the calming dance  
Of supportive partnership.
Is this love?

Is this love?
No ridiculous expectations
Of grandeur had
Just equal participation
In the life we share.
Is this love?

Is this love?
I've never seen it before
Portrayed in fiction
I worry I'll start to want more  
but feel this is enough.
Is this love?

Is this love?
Existing simply with our friends
Movie days, complaining.
Knowing that this has no end
No arguments here.
Is this love?

Is this love?
Having held you in my arms,
And wanting you to stay.
Hoping you never come to harm
That I could protect you from.
Is this love?

Is this love?
Where I can see  
That you will always  
Be there to support me.
As I will for you.
Is this love?

I didn't hear you say what you said in my dreams.
But I guess that's the way things go sometimes.
I'm okay with it though, because when I got down on one knee, you agreed to be my partner in crime.

how come,

you never feel the need to make your hair, ever

but manage to look like someone i'd spend my whole life with.

how come,

i could let myself drown in your

smelly morning breath

(it smells like daisies for me, though)

how come,

i end up thinking

about all the details on your face

from your crinkles to your moles.

it keeps me wide awake.

how come,

i shut my windows

countless times,

yet you are my sunshine.