I hate being so anxious that you’re falling for someone else because they complimented your hair and the way you like to dress.


I hate being so worried that you’re going to be in a hurry to leave me without a warning.


I hate being so scared that you’ll forget the love we shared and look for it with somebody else. 


I hate being so paranoid that you won’t come home one night and that you’ll be in another girls bed. 


But I guess I signed up for this, I knew my own minds tricks, despite this I still agreed to try my best  to trust you.

God I wish I knew what goes on inside your head

Your body tenses
Someone is behind you
Stalking your every move
You feel squeamish
So you look behind you
Quickly
But there is nothing there.
You sigh knowing
That it was something out of
Your sick twisted fantasy
However your mind races
Because you feel something
brush against your throat
You feel the sticky
Liquid slowly slide
From your neck
As you slowly die
You realize
That it what killed you
Wasn't human
It was your paranoia.

Scattered like seeds,
I've told my secrets here
And there.
Never too many;
They don't root anywhere
Or get a chance to grow.
No little birdies can go and spread them around.

Just try and hit me with
a car
a fist
or anything worse than
well
I have not been hit recently
Despite skateboarding through traffic
Maybe my tall white anger
is enough to stop
geology itself for one slow moment
Or satan is on my side
Or someone is watching me recklessly
Take on an inertial framer of the references
to all 3 azxisy
I cannot be stopped
from pretending
to be in a private universe
Publicly I may require some protection from
Hitting famously the one thing I have been trying to avoid
Selling Out
well
honesty & arrogances
I have been BOUGHT IN...

What the **** is wrong with me?
I'm itching at my skin
trying to keep out of
this snare that is baiting me in
I'm so paranoid, I'm not sure
where I should start to begin
anything that moves inside of
this tiny room that I'm stuck in
I notice and am afraid of
but I cannot sleep- I want to be
w a n t e d ; talked to or something
don't let the bugs eat me tonight
part of me wants to stay alive.